Chapter 59: book 2 chapter 17

It has been a year since Amethyst’s private meeting with the goddess. Armed with the new knowledge of how gods received prayers, she had hatched a plan with the help of Siofra to not only get back at Hecatolite for her teasing but also to attempt to appease some of the gods as well. 

The plan did hinge on a few key things, one being Hecatolite did not find out about it meaning Amethyst needed to be extra careful. Thankfully Hecatolite had agreed to not utilize the ability to view the body’s shared memory… well she said, “I don’t want to see what you and fuzzy snack do while I’m not around.” Which Amethyst took as all the confirmation she would get.

Even if Hecatolite had wanted to look into her mind Amethyst's new found skill in mental defense would offer some protection. She had developed it to the point where even queen Irithyl had a hard time reading her mind, so with Hecatolite’s insistence on letting Amethyst have her privacy her skill was more than enough to segregate their thoughts.

The second thing was Siofra’s instance that Amethyst did it on the winter solstice, as it was the one day a year that the gods held an “official court”. The goddess had been quite annoyed that Amethyst had missed last year’s winter solstice, but she had understood that it was too short notice for Amethyst to prepare everything needed. Siofra did complain about having to sit through the dreadfully boring meeting and told Amethyst she should “include a bit extra for her troubles” when she finally manages to get everything in order.

It had been a relatively uneventful year in all honesty, Alexa had left for a few months in the middle of summer to teach at the academy. Amethyst and Hecatolite had traveled with her to the capital, staying for a short time to “gather worldly experience” as Hecatolite put it. 

In honesty Hecatolite caused waves wherever she went, first asking the queen again if she could eat just one griffon, saying “it doesn’t need to be the full griffon, maybe just a leg? Do they really need 4? Maybe a small one, or a sick one?” Thankfully Irithyl found Hecatolite amusing. Not to mention her “bribes” were unworldly powerful enchanted items, gifting the queen a crown she had proudly called “the one who peeps”.  The crown not only defended against all forms of charming and mind reading Hecatolite could think of but also made it much easier for the queen to “peep” into other people’s minds. 

After bribing the queen, she went on to offend the merchant’s guild by attempting to obtain a license to sell enchanted items only to accidentally explode the guild master’s office during a demonstration of her “new and improved super backpack”, which was a simple backpack with a special enchantment in it… that promptly overloaded and swallowed the man’s desk before exploding. As the man was lamenting over his very expensive desk all Hecatolite said was, “oops. Thought I had it that time. Man, I am getting really good at blowing those up huh.” They were escorted out of the guild and asked politely, yet firmly, to never return.  

After that she got bored and left Amethyst to study space magic with the queen’s butler before returning home. 

But now finally everything was in order. Amethyst let out a long sigh as she walked up the snow-covered road. Saffron followed close behind, her arms filled with baskets, along with several guards. After the attack their father had insisted the girls always be accompanied by as many guards as Hans could spare. The constant volunteers for the seemingly easy job had led to Hans forming what he called the “Hecta defensive line”. 

The HDL consisted of the 15 guards that had accompanied them on their travels as well as the warehouse raid last year, their main objective was very simple. Amethyst had read the report that consisted of one line. “Keep her from doing anything insane. Protect people from “redacted”. In case of emergency, contact Taaffeite though normal forms of communication or pained screams, whichever is faster.” It was followed by a list of “insane” activities that included but was not limited to; throwing rocks, forming relics within city walls, attempting to start accidental orgies, attempting to start planned orgies, do not attempt to utilize Hecatolite’s aura for any means even if it will be “really funny” (David is no longer allowed to be left alone with Hecatolite for any reason), eating other sentient life, eating non sentient life, eating parts of the city, eating souls (even if she insists it will only be a tiny piece), just stop letting her put things in her mouth. Edit; Saffron is not a “viable source” of information on what is and is not acceptable behavior. Edit; I understand she exudes lust, no she is not an aphrodisiac, yes, she can eat anything, no we will not replace anything she “eats” (stop asking for replacement swords I know she only ate the one). Edit; Final warning, any attempt to abuse her power in any way will result in immediate removal from duty. 

“So where are we going?” Applejack asked, given she had used the Lucky foot bakery, his mother insisted he help carry her order. Currently he was balancing a large fresh pie in his hands as he kept pace with her.

He nearly dropped the pie when Saffron glared at him. Amethyst did not understand why Saffron disliked Applejack, but she had made it abundantly clear that she did not approve of the young man. “You should not address her so casually, child.” She hissed, causing him to step away.

“It's fine Saffron,” Amethyst said, causing the succubus to click her tongue before stepping back slightly.

“Sorry lady Amethyst.” Saffron replied with a nod.

“And it’s a surprise,” Amethyst winked as she led the way, “we are almost there.”

 

Siofra sat impatiently in the holy court as she listened to several minor gods complain about “strange” occurrences in the world. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes as they bickered over what did and did not fall under each other’s domains, is it really so hard to understand? All of the domains are one word long! She thought as she watched a gnomish god argue with a dwarven god.

She looked to the empty chair that sat at the head of the massive hall, her brother sitting to its right, glaring at her as she waved.

He did not know why Siofra had suddenly taken an interest in the holy court after all these years, even less so now given her strenuous relationship with Valor, but one thing was sure. Whatever the reason was, it would cause problems for him in the future. Her sudden appearance last year had already caused no end of problems as Valor had been sure the entire time that Siofra was “up to something”, growing more paranoid in the last year after he found out she had agreed to merge her realm with a dozen or so minor gods, a merger that he himself had declined to be part of.

If Siofra had been the one to initiate the merger, Soter would likely agree with Valor. But Jaci was the one going around asking gods for help and given Jaci could be frightened by her own shadow, Soter was positive the bunny kin woman’s words could be taken at face value. But Valor, never one to listen to reason, had sent a handful of minor gods to the large realm to “find out what that elven bitch is up to with all those lesser gods.” He is currently hearing those gods’ reports, that Soter is sure will contain no more information than what he already had, which is why he is currently running late.

Just what game are you playing sister… is… is that thing on the move again? He clenched his jaw, the thought of Hecatolite doing anything causing a shiver to run up his spine as he remembered the uncomfortable night she had caused him after forcing a blessing onto him. Luckily, he had been in his own realm when it happened but the thought that the little monstrosity his sister is currently infatuated with could just flood his body with aether was unnerving to say the least.

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Now, Soter did not dislike Hecatolite, the few times they had interacted since have actually been completely pleasant. She has proven to be, though more than slightly insane, a relatively harmless person if one were to take her at appearances. But she did frighten the god of protection, the simple fact she just removed a god from existence along with a large portion of a moon… by accident, scared him.

“Thank you all for coming.” Taika’s voice rang out silencing the hall as she appeared, only once it was silent did she tap her staff and Valor had appeared. “Now does anyone have anything they wish to discuss?” She asked as Valor settled into his seat, he scanned the room, his face twisting into a scowl as his eyes landed on the now smirking Siofra.

Two hours went by and Siofra’s smirk faded, come now little one, it is impolite to keep people waiting. She thought as she tapped her finger on the table. She passively listened to a few of the gods talk about their year, most of them were uninteresting as they tried to coerce their followers into searching for this “X47” deity.

Her ears perked up when she heard mention of the Lapidary family but no one seemed to make a connection to Hecatolite, they were simply commenting on the families involvement with the apparently newly formed religious restrictions in the southern nation. Nothing more was said about them as the room exploded into debate on whether the new stand in the southern nation of Crown was beneficial to the gods or not.

As for Siofra, she already knew where she and her brother stood. The policy Hecatolite’s mother had created was actually quite good if you asked Siofra, a way for the mortals to embrace all the religions without showing favoritism. She was amazed at how few of the minor gods realized the benefits to themselves by such a policy, though she had a feeling that was due mostly to Valor and Taika’s strong opposition to it.

“Those mortals overstep their boundaries.” Taika hissed as she slammed her hand down, “just who do they think they are telling us, gods, where our word can and cannot be spread.”

That’s rich coming from you. Siofra thought, shaking her head, you’re not here to fight, not today at least.

“We should send out word to leave that land!” Someone called out.

“Wait, haven’t a few of the larger churches already signed?” What appeared to be a lizard man asked, “I think the church of Valor, and Taika’s church of magic are the only two that havent?”

Suddenly the divide in the room got a whole lot smaller as the minor gods began looking from Valor to Siofra.

“Silence!” Valor yelled, waving his hand, and the timing could not have been more perfect if Siofra had planned it herself.

Just as Valor waved his hand to quiet the room a loud thundercrack rang out.

“Prayer from Amethyst Lapidary, founder of All Faiths. Thank you all for your hard work in overseeing this world. I give you these offerings as a small token of our appreciation and hope your solstice meeting is going well. Sorry for any trouble… “X47 the mad devour” … has caused you in recent years, she really didn’t mean to cause problems.”

It wasn’t the message, it wasn’t the trickle of mana, or the dozen of minor gods who fled the moment the terminal had appeared in the center of the hall. Hell, it wasn’t even the stunned look on Valor’s face as he sat with his mouth open trying to process what had happened. No, none of that is what finally caused Siofra to crack.

What did, however, was the simple fact that Valor had always been dramatic. So, when the mighty god-king swung his arm to silence the masses he always did so with enough force to make an audible sound. So, when a simple muffin appeared before him… the poor muffin never stood a chance.

Sitting to Valor’s left was the proud goddess of magic Taika, who always strode to be perfect. Perfect clothes, perfect hair, perfect posture, perfect look of amazement as a muffin was unceremoniously smashed into her face.

The entire holy court was frozen in shock, not a sound could be heard over the mad cackles of one elven goddess who fought to not fall from her seat. Everyone was torn between looking at the spectacle unfolding before them, and the sudden appearance of a single pastry before each of them.

Soter the only person to maintain enough control of himself to look around the hall, each god had a single pastry before them, some had muffins, others had donuts. There were only a small handful of exceptions to this, Valor for one who’s muffin was now splattered across Taika’s face…. Soter fought against joining his sister in her hysterical laughing as he pulled his eyes from the shocked woman. Looking down before him he found not one, but two “offerings'', one plain muffin and a single  donut, a simple note attached to the muffin that read “thank you Soter, god of protection”. Looking at his sister he noticed she had three muffins before her but no note. But most surprising was Jaci.

The tiny black bunny-kin woman sat with her long ears straight up, her eyes opened wide as she sat locked in place, an entire pie sitting before her with a piece of paper sitting atop it. he couldn’t hope to see, much less read the note from this distance but the pie did cause him to raise an eyebrow as he pondered if Hecatolite had contacted Jaci or Amethyst simply followed the goddess. 

His contemplation was interrupted by Valor slamming his fist into the large wood table that circled the realm with enough force to crack the wood, his voice tearing through the air over Siofra’s laughter, “what. The. Fuck. Was that!?”

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