Chapter 82: Book 2 chapter 40

Amethyst sat in silence as she watched the memory play a second time on the terminal, her mind struggling to comprehend what was going on as she felt a wave of emotion she was not used to. 

She took a deep breath as she finally stopped it after the memory started its third loop, dismissing the terminal as she processed what had been said. She wanted to confront Applejack, to yell at him for hurting her sister… but there was something deeper, something rooted into her mind as his words struck a chord deep within her. 

What she turned me into… a deep ache in her chest caused her to nearly choke as the words cut into her like a knife. He… he really doesn’t see me, does he? She thought as she began trying to recall their relationship.

As she thought back, the aching in her chest grew, slowly becoming a deep sinking feeling. It was as if a filter had been removed, she saw everything for what felt like the first time.

In her mind Applejack's smile slowly morphed from the bright cheerful smile she knew into something… different. 

“Amethyst?” Applejack called, breaking her out of her trance as he opened the door.

Her mind suddenly stilled as she looked to him, hearing him speak her name as a question solidified it in her mind as she finally realized the truth behind the iconic greeting. She saw his smile, now seeing it as the awkward smirk of uncertainty it truly was as he tried to mask the question he asked every time he saw her…

“You… you really can’t tell, can you?” she choked out the words not wanting it to be true. 

At this point everyone who knew the twins could tell them apart at a glance, even Applejack's mother Hazel could recognize Amethyst the moment she entered the room… yet he, the man she… 

Tears blurred her vision as she watched him raise an eyebrow, the quizzical look answering her question more than any words ever could. 

“You… you really are just going to act like nothing happened, just go on with your day like…” she could feel herself slipping as the room suddenly felt too small, she sucked in a shuddering breath as she fought the urge to cry. “Really Applejack, after everything…”

Applejack, seeing her on the verge of tears rushed to her side, “Amethyst, what’s wrong?” His face suddenly wrought with worry as he reached out to her.

“Don’t!” She snapped, slapping his hands away causing him to freeze just before her. She wanted to scream, the pain in her chest twisting into anger as he stood before her. “You don’t just get to walk in here like everything is fine, Applejack…”

“Hey,” He tried to sooth her as he knelt before her, “Amethyst, just tell me what’s wrong? Did Hecatolite…”

Amethyst struggled against herself as every fiber of her being was suddenly alight with adrenaline, the pit that had formed in her stomach instantly growing as she fought the urge to slap him at the mention of her sister’s name. “You… you really can’t see me at all can you?”

The question seemed to linger in the air for an eternity as the two sat staring into each other’s eyes, the confusion clear in Applejack's face as he sat with his mouth slightly open. 

Amethyst scoffed as she wiped her eyes. “I really thought you were different. Gods, I’m such an idiot.” She seemed to shrink as she put her head into her hands. 

“i… I don’t know what…” Applejack nearly bit his tongue as she sprang up from the bed, causing him to fall backwards as Amethyst clearly struggled before him. He watched as she stood above him breathing heavily as she opened and closed her hands, balling them into trembling fists before relaxing, starting a sentence several times before stopping herself as tears stained her cheeks. “Just tell me what happened love…”

“What happened? you really have no idea? Applejack, we share a body! Did you really think I wouldn’t find out about what you did, how you treated Hecatolite!” She finally snapped screaming at him as she stomped her foot, the motion shaking the wooden floor beneath them.

Amethyst finally knew what the strange emotion welling in her chest was as her foot cracked the wood beneath her. true anger; a deep painful rage, a sorrowful anger brought on by the feeling of betrayal…

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It wasn’t anger at Applejack, no, she was angry at herself. Angry that she didn’t see it before, angry that she let this happen, and that she was apparently blind to the problems right before her.

“How I treated…” it finally clicked in his mind as she watched his shoulders sink a little. He stood dusting himself off as he looked at her with an… annoyed expression. “Is that what this is all about, her, because I finally said what needed to be said? Amethyst, she is going to get you killed, I watched as the gods themselves nearly burn you alive because of her.” He held his hands out as if pleading with her, “Amethyst I was trying to protect you from…”

Mana does a lot of things to a person’s body, people with a lot of mana typically live much longer lives, are generally healthier, and stronger than your average person as the mana from their souls reinforces their bodies. This was something that Amethyst was well aware of, even more so now that she has fought in earnest against others, that she was “different” than the common person given her now staggering mana pool. 

This was a simple fact of the world, a simple fact that slipped her mind as the sound of the slap echoed in her ears. Applejack staggered back with his eyes wide in shock as his teeth rattled, stunned as he recalled all the times she had playfully smacked him; realizing now the true difference between the two of them. despite all his “training”, all his practice in hopes to defend her, was pointless as she, a tiny girl barely half his size, nearly knocked him off his feet with a simple smack.

“You will never understand.” She growled through the tears as he held his now burning cheek, “I don’t need to be protected.” She ground her teeth as her mana began to seep from her, finally overcoming her own suppression as it poured out of her. The sudden release of her power shook the walls around them as the world seemed to bend around her. She took a step towards him as her body began to glow in a rainbow of color, “This is who I am, Applejack, who I want to be.” She balled her fist as the power rushed off of her, “I wanted someone who would stand with me, not in front of me.” 

The sight of him stepping back from her caused her to pause, seeing the look of fear in his eyes causing her stomach to sink as she quickly wrestled her mana back down, not realizing that she had undone her blessing suppression skill as he watched her stand in the middle of his room. The glowing markings that covered her body showed through the light shirt she wore as she took several deep breaths, suppressing her mana as she looked to the ceiling with tears rolling down her face.

“You never saw me though, did you? You only saw what you thought I should be. The prim and proper noble woman, or maybe the saintess, you never looked past my titles.” Her voice was barely a whimper as she bit her lip, as their eyes met. His large brown eyes looking right at her, through her as all the memories of looking into them played at once in her mind, now seeing that he always seemed to look just past her… “no, you never even saw “me”, you only see Hecatolite, what you think she did, or how she was wrong. You can’t even tell us apart because you have convinced yourself that she is a problem. Something to be solved.” 

She inhaled sharply as her own words sank into her mind. She suddenly remembered, what she thought was strange at the time, something her sister had said to her. “You know, Hecatolite told me once,” she couldn’t help but let out a dry chuckle as she spoke, “that my first time would be special, a defining moment in my life, something I would always carry with me.” She closed her eyes as she tried to steady her nerves, “I wonder if she knew, all those years ago, that I would be standing here feeling like a fool…” when she opened her eyes again to look to him, ready for what she needed to do, she found the words caught in her throat. She quickly blinked away the tears before continuing, “I hope you find happiness, but you made it clear this morning it won't be with me. Goodbye Applejack.”

It will take years for Amethyst to forgive herself for what she did next, always feeling it to be cowardly but, in the moment; looking into his eyes, seeing the face of the man she truly believed she loved painted with a mixture of fear and confusion, she couldn’t think to do anything else. She was afraid that if she let him speak, the veil in her memories would cover the truth, until this happened again… With the sound of a whip cracking, Amethyst vanished, the window just behind Applejack offering her the perfect escape route as she appeared in the empty street before vanishing into the city.

Applejack couldn’t even think as Amethyst vanished from his room, standing there stunned for nearly a minute before turning to run after her only to be caught in the hall by his mother.

“You leave her be now,” she said calmly, stepping into his path.

“Mom, I have to…” he tried to pass her only for her to wrap an arm around his waist.

“The only thing you have to do is think long and hard about what you did,” she forced him back with the strength only a mother could, “I heard what happened in there boy and I’ll be the first to tell you this is your own fault.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Hazel shook her head as she sighed, “well, you are your father’s son, that’s for sure.”

“What do you mean by that?” He hissed as he motioned to pass her again only to stop when she stomped her foot with an ear-splitting thump.

“You ever meet him, you can ask him.” She placed a hand on his shoulder before pulling him into a tight hug, “Apple, I love you I always will but as your mother I have to tell you, you won't ever catch her again. chase her if you think you have to but…” she released him, stepping back with a soft smile, “she’s gone. Besides,” She thrust a thumb over her shoulder, “I think the captain of the guard wants a word with you, something about “shaking” the walls this early in the morning.”

Applejack looked over her shoulder to see Hans standing in the hall in normal clothing as he rubbed his tired eyes, “what did you do boy, I’m used to getting woken up because of Hecatolite, but to make Amethyst rattle the whole city like that…” He yawned as his shoulders slumped, “it's going to be a long day.” 

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