Chapter 52: LONGING

Magnus put his phone on the study table. He had been contacting his son but he never returned his calls or his messages. He had asked someone to investigate what he has been doing and that's how he knew about Cayenne.
'Leave the woman you are keeping. She is not worthy of your status.' That's the message that he sent to him but Stefan wasn't the least bit worried. He didn't say anything or call him. It irked him so much. But what can he do? If he angers him again, there's a big chance that he will severe his tie with them.
Stefan doesn't have anything to be sentimental with them. In fact, as a father, he couldn't even remember a single event which was mainly prepared for his younger son. All the past events that happened were for Alexander. The only time they celebrated his birthday was when Alexander insisted on celebrating it. What was the result? Alexander died. His birthday became the death anniversary of his eldest son. And Clara hated him even more.
Magnus slouched on his chair and saw the picture on the table. It was a photo of his two sons. They looked so happy together and you would never see any sadness in Stefan's eyes. Now, when he thinks about his image, all he could see was the turbulent anger in the eyes of his only living son.
He knew that Stefan hated him. However, for the sake of being raised in the past years, he never said anything. But that doesn't mean he would never say anything. There's a very big chance that he would burn out all his patience and let his emotions out.
"I was never a good father to them. In the first place, I wasn't a good husband. If I didn't cheat, I would not hurt the woman who had been staying with me since we were young. If I didn't cheat, I wouldn't cause another woman to die while giving birth. Stefan won't exist in our life. Alexander won't die. And I won't have this problem now. It all started because of my foolishness. It's all my fault. And I have let Stefan suffer all these years. He lost her mother and he never had a father even when he's with me. I don't think he'll ever forgive me."
He was regretting everything that has happened but he would never put the blame on him like how his wife was doing. He suffered enough and he didn't want to add to that suffering. Stefan was the most innocent person among them. It was not his fault that his father cheated. It was not his fault that he was born in this world. It was not his fault that a killer came and killed his brother. He was never at fault. Yet, he suffered the most.
A lone tear fell on the back of his hand. It was warm and he felt his chest hurt. The thought of all these things burned his chest and his throat constricted. He was having a hard time breathing. He clutched his chest and looked for his medicine inside his drawers. When he found it, he immediately took three pills and drank a glass of water that the maids would always place on the other table for him.
While he was regretting over these things, Stefan had no space for other things in his mind aside from his business and Cayenne. He was still wondering what they were talking about when Cayenne sent him a message to come down. He stood up immediately and walked downstairs to face them.

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"Are you all done?" Stefan asked them. "How about we eat lunch together first? Cayenne and I haven't taken our lunch. I was cooking earlier but I am not sure if it would be enough. Can I cook something to add with it?"
"Is it alright with you?" Cayenne asked him. She knew that he was just playing with his own role which was her boyfriend but she didn't want to use him like this. She would never use him in any way. This was just so rude and she didn't like it.
Stefan winked at her and took a step back. "You guys just wait here. I'll be quick." He walked towards the kitchen and looked for ingredients inside the refrigerator. His actions were quick but steady and he knew which one to make first and which on was the next. There was order to everything that he did.
Cayenne just listened to the sound he was making in the kitchen while guilt was eating away her heart. They didn't resolve anything after this talk. They just added another layer of lie on top of the previous lie she made.
"By the way, how will you work tomorrow?" Kyle whispered to his sister. "Are you going to take a leave?"
"That's probably the only solution you have. You can't work with that red and swollen foot. Just seeing it makes me cringe in pain. I know it's painful because I have experienced that several times in the past." Luiz added to his brother's statement.
Cayenne smiled towards her siblings and she took each of their hands to hold them. "You should stop worrying about me. I'm the eldest. I know what I can and can't do. I know my limit and there's no need to worry. Just focus on your study. That will be more rewarding for me. I'm the happiest whenever I know that you two are doing a great job."
"That's out of question, sis." Luiz responded. "We will do our best to repay all the hard work you've done for us."
"I know." Cayenne pulled her brothers into a warm embrace. This was the scene that Stefan saw when he took a peek of the siblings in the living room. It was something that he was envious of having no part in it. He had been alone for fifteen years and Alexander's hug had long become cold. He wished he'd felt something so warm like the scene in front of him again.

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