Chapter 11: -11- One of Us, For Sure, is a Thankless Ingrate.

I sighed in frustration.

“Yamasaki-san, what’s the deal? Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what?”

“Don’t play dumb. Since you have my mother believing you are a sweet and intelligent girl, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Though she continued to hold me from behind, the strength she had put into it initially had faded completely.

“I don’t know why, okay?”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t know! I mean, I know you hate my guts. You’re right, I’m not dumb, but I don’t have a good explanation for you, for me either, or at all for… this. Call it the mood or going with the flow, or whatever, but do you really hate it?”

Her hands slid down and towards my partner.

“Subaru, this… is all I amount to. This is all that Yamasaki Shoko has to offer… to you or anyone. But the only one who gave a shit when I needed them the most, was you.”

“So what, you think that gives you the freedom to do whatever you want to me?”

“Has a girl even shown interest in you until I did? Besides your fatty friend’s sex doll, have you ever touched a real woman’s breast? Have you ever enjoyed a woman holding you while you squeezed one out all over her hands? What about making out in a dangerous place with a girl willing to go all the way with you? Do you hate me so much that you can’t even let go of it for one moment and enjoy it?”

“But there’s no love between us, Yamasaki-san.”

“Okay, so there isn’t. Subaru doesn’t give a fuck about me, that’s nothing new. No one gives a fuck about me, especially after they fuck me. Does that make you happy to hear? That without my gorgeous pussy and hot body, I’m not all that different from you?”

“You’re way different from me! I don’t go treating people like shit and bullying them.”

“Hah! You’re wrong on one of those counts, Subaru. Even if it was a gesture from the heart, haven’t you been treating me like shit since you let me in?”

“What?”

“I don’t mean you feeding me, or sheltering me, or any of that. I mean that I’ve tried to get close to you, and you’ve been pushing me away at every opportunity!”

“Why do you care, Yamasaki-san? You can’t just undo years of bullying me and treating me like shit overnight! How often did you hit me, slap me, kick me, scratch me, shoot wadded paper covered in spit at me, slap my books or papers out of my hands so your friends could laugh at me, and then do the same? For how long have I been your food shuttle and never once got repaid? And now what, I’m supposed to be fine with you doing whatever you want in my apartment, doing whatever you want with me? You say you’ll pay with your body, but what if I don’t want it? Yamasaki-san has nothing that I want. No, I had something that I wanted. Not once since you came here did you even say thank you. Not once, but you did to my mother, who is exactly the same kind of twisted person you are! But it’s pointless now. If you have to ask someone for thanks, how can it be genuine? And you’re supposed to be my 「Partner」 in this new era of Japan? Bullshit. You’re a bigger monster than anything in those dungeons. Maybe that’s why you show up like a pokéyou card in my deck with nothing but violent attacks. Because to me, that’s how you’ve always appeared!”

Her arms dropped from my body completely after I unloaded on her.

I’d never heard her with such a weak voice, but the last words she spoke to me were simply “I really don’t have anywhere I can go until Wednesday. Can I at least… sleep on the sofa… or even the floor… until then?”

I didn’t answer her. Instead I walked around her and to my room. I grabbed my uniform and hauled ass to work. I nearly forgot I had to cover for Yamabuki-san at my job tonight, so I went and did just that. And it went exactly as Hotoke-san, my manager, said it would. It was a mostly dead night due to the curfew still in effect.

I left, feeling as melancholy as I did coming in, and when I got to my apartment, Yamasaki-san was still there, a pillow and blanket draped over her on the sofa, and her black duffel bag right beside her.

Yeah, I was mad at her. Yeah, I had every right to explode on her. And yeah, worst of all I wanted to apologize to her, even though I felt justified. She hadn’t said a thing to me when I arrived home. She hadn’t even microwaved a bowl of instant ramen for her to eat as dinner.

She just quietly existed, out of view, and out of the way.

Just like I had, nearly every day of my life.

Without saying a word to her, I went to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed. When I woke up the following morning, she was gone.

 

~~**~~

 

I don’t know where she went. I did go out to try and find her, but she wasn’t anywhere in the park, nor was she hanging out anywhere in the business district. I was at a loss until I remembered that she seemed to know Yamabuki-san from work. I made my way to Giuseppie’s somewhere around ten or eleven in the morning, to find Hotoke-san there with a special parcel.

The manager has a young daughter around the same age as Saya-neechan’s from the dagashiya across the way. I know they often play together at the park from time to time, but it never fails to warm my heart seeing her at my job. She was sitting behind the counter and drawing something with a box of crayons opened.

“Hello Yuna-chan.”

“Onii-chan!”

I laughed.

“Are you helping your mom at work today?”

“No. Yuna is going to be coloring all day long!”

“That’s nice. Any idea what you’re going to be coloring?”

“The magic holes!”

“You mean the portals?”

“Yeah! The ones that were in the clouds but accidentally fell down.”

“Accidentally?”

“Uh-huh. It was an accident!”

“What makes you think that?”

“Umm… there’s not enough magic on the ground to keep them in the air!”

“Why do they need magic to stay in the air?”

“Because they’re magic holes! They need magic to float!”

I wasn’t sure exactly where her child’s imagination was getting this from, but she’s adorable, so any conversation with her is healing in its own way.

“Hmm, do you have any guesses as to why they suddenly showed up?”

“Uh-huh. They were looking for more magic!”

“The portals… er, magic holes were looking for magic… in Japan?”

“Magic is everywhere! This is just where they ended up. Anyways, once they find the magic, they’ll go away.”

“You’re sure about that?”

“Yup.”

“Let me ask you something. Do you think you can draw a squirrel with armor on it’s back?”

“You mean a Roley-poley?”

“You know about Roley-poleys?”

“Yuna knows all of the animals in the magic holes!”

“You do?”

“Uh-huh, Yuna met them in dreamland when the Light-san came to visit.”

“You met Light-san?”

She nodded.

“Onii-chan, you like cards don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Yuna is going to draw you a really important card, so come get it later. If Yuna goes home before you come back, Yuna will leave it with mommy to give to you.”

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“Well, then, thank you very much Yuna-chan.”

I continued to the back to find Hotoke-san exiting the walk-in cooler we kept the cakes, ice cream, and other things at.

“Something up, Subaru-kun?”

“I need to contact Yamabuki-san, but I don’t have her number or her line. Is there any way you can pass a message to her to contact me as soon as possible?”

“Rina? What about?”

“I… messed up.”

“Your girlfriend?”

That brought about a large sigh from myself.

“She’s not my girlfriend, Hotoke-san. She’s my worst enemy.”

“Your worst enemy?”

“You got a minute?”

“Sure, let me check on Yuna real quick.”

“I just did, she’s coloring magic holes.”

Hotoke-san nodded, and we moved to the back door. While she smoked, I talked. I explained all about my past involvement with Yamasaki-san and everything leading to me letting loose on her after my mother left yesterday.

“That explains why you were so down in the dumps.”

“I’m still mad at her, but maybe I went overboard. She says she has nowhere else to go, and at the very least if that’s still the case, I’m… fine with her landing at my place until she does.”

“I’m not going to judge you, but Rina and I are a lot like her, Subaru-kun. We’ve been popular and outcasts at the same time. We’ve had love affairs, both toxic and romantic. We’re far from pure, but we’re still women underneath. We cry and hurt and bleed just the same as any man, and words hurt us just as badly, especially when we think we found someone we can trust. Someone who won’t hurt us like everyone else has.”

“That’s… why I want to reach Yamabuki-san. She… might be able to reach Yamasaki-san.”

“She might…. but why should she? If Rina could pass the message for that girl to contact you, and she takes the risk to do so after what you’ve said to her that chased her away, what are you going to say to her next? Are you going to keep treating her like your worst enemy?”

“I don’t know. It’s like we have a cursed fate together.”

“I wouldn’t open with that line.”

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to say I’m sorry, because then it makes me at fault for everything she’s ever done to me, and why should I have to apologize for it? But I… all it was supposed to be was me just keeping her safe for a night, so she didn’t have to sleep alone on a cold park bench. Am I wrong for wanting to do that much, for the girl who tortured me for years?”

“There’s no right answer, Subaru-kun. You can only do what your heart tells you, and if it’s not enough for the other person, then it’s not enough.” She patted my back gently. “Why don’t you go home in case she comes back, and I’ll call Rina and see if she’ll reach out to her, okay?”

“...Thanks, Hotoke-san.”

“What’s her name, Subaru?”

“Yamasaki-san?”

“Her name.”

“Shoko.”

“Lead with that, if you’re serious.”

I nodded and after saying a quick good-by to Yuna-chan, I returned back home, cutting through the park. Strangely, there was no sensation of being drawn into the quarantined portal while alone. I made it back home with no sign of Yamasaki-san outside my apartment. I went in, and left the door unlocked, just in case, sat down on my sofa, and stared absently at the television which wasn’t even turned on.

 

~~**~~

 

I woke up to my phone ringing. When I went to answer it, the first thing I noticed was that Yamasaki-san’s name was in my phone, and the picture that displayed along with it, was not something that should have been there. It was Yamasaki-san in all her bare glory, smiling at… me, making a peace sign.

I only had a moment to notice it though, I didn’t want to miss her call and have her hang up, even though I had her number all this time, apparently. I mean, I have a handful of numbers in my phone, and it’s not like for even a moment I thought Yamasaki-san would have snuck her own in there, and furthermore that it was listed under 「Shoko~♥」

I made sure to heed Hotoke-san’s advice, for now, at least.

“Shoko…”

There was silence on the other end.

“My apartment door is unlocked. I’ll make sure there’s food in the fridge for you without any eggs in it. Um… I’m… not good with this, but we’re different. We’ve always been different. But I’m still me, and if you were sleeping in the park again, I’d still come find you and try and convince you to come back to my apartment. I guess… that’s what I wanted to say to you. If… you found somewhere else after all, please keep yourself safe. If you aren’t safe… there’s a safe place for you here.”

I stopped talking and without any communication from her at all except for empty silence, the phone call abruptly ended.

It was sometime Tuesday afternoon, I was too lazy to check the time.

I was focused on the Deck in my vision and one card in particular.

「Form - Tendo Subaru’s Slut」

Why did this card exist? Why did this system think this card was necessary for me? It had no use in the portal-dungeon, and even less use in reality. If anything it was like a notch on an axe, each Special that existed on that card was something we had done together.

Though it was intangible to me, I reached out in front of me anyway, and watched as my finger passed through the one option I ever dared to press, knowing damn well it wasn’t going to work, even if she did come back.

 

~~**~~

 

“Subaru?”

I had made a lonely dinner and went to sleep. I made a portion for Yamasaki-san as well, and left it on the table with a net covering over it just in case she returned. I usually lock my door at night, but I figured it would be fine to leave it unlocked. I kept my bedroom door open too, but the lure of sleep, along with my depressed emotions, did me in.

“Coming to bed?” I asked, not caring if it was a dream or reality right now, anything to fight off the guilty feeling I had.

Her body entered my bed, and I waited for her to roll over and hug me from behind, but it never happened. So I rolled over instead. This time my arms were wrapped around her, and I would protect her until the morning, when our agreement had ended.

She didn’t say anything, she didn’t force anything, and she didn’t deny anything. She didn’t refuse me hugging her from behind, and like that, without any communication past what was necessary to invite her into my bed, I felt a warmth I didn’t know I had even missed.

My hand rested on her stomach, safely, yet it wasn’t her hand that dragged it down her body and towards that triangular gap. That was me. I had done that. And Yamasaki-san–no, Shoko, hadn’t resisted. My fingers traced themselves along the outside of her panties, tracing the fleshy groove that had once held my partner intimately between its folds. My fingers teased her, and there was no question I was the villain right now, between us.

Shoko had reached down on her own and slid her panties down, giving me access to her directly, viscerally, bare. Yes, bare. Right now this was a bare moment between us. She shifted her body and invited my fingers to caress each leaf of her pink lotus. The area of my palm near the wrist felt the shaggy sensation of her fuzzy bush, and as I fumbled around foolishly, having no clue of what to do, her hand met my own, and guided me. She guided me to what was the sinful nature of Yamasaki Shoko.

She taught me, wordlessly, where to stroke gently, and where to stroke firmly, where to stroke quickly, and where to stroke slowly. She took my fingers and dipped them inside the dirty inkwell that belonged to my slutty bully, and I painted along her pink canvas with her inner ink smeared over my digits.

She began to make soft noises, continuing to guide me to the proper way of touching her innermost petals. Her body began to rock slowly against my touch, slowly at first and then hastening until she gasped ever so softly and her body shook as my fingers rapidly moved over a certain location. Then she gripped my hand and stopped it. I could feel her breathing heavily. I was swollen and pressing up against her. She reached behind and tried to tug down my pants, failing miserably to do so from her position, so I did it myself. My manhood had prodded itself near her blossom. She opened her legs just enough to slide me between them, my partner trapped between the slick portrait I had painted a moment ago, and her thighs, which squeezed down around all of me.

She rocked back and forth again, simulating the act in the dungeon, but with her back turned to me, and me unable to see her, or kiss her. I could only hold her, but she brought my hand up to her mouth and began licking and sucking the ink off of my fingers while my own hips thrust slowly at first, enjoying each long stroke it could, trapped by her hot and humid tightness.

I was not Yamasaki Shoko. The time it took for my own body to shake as hers did was far less, and I had surely dirtied her body and the side of the bedsheets she would be resting on for the rest of the night, provided she stayed after all. Until the blood retreated fully from my lustful assault, she held on to my partner as tightly as she could.

“Shoko,” I said softly, “We can never be friends in this life.”

“Then… what is this?” She replied just as softly.

“This is what we are.” I answered. And it had to be a good enough answer for her, because I didn’t have anything else to work with.

It was exactly as Hotoke-san said. There were no right answers. Between Yamasaki Shoko and Tendo Subaru, there had never, once been a right answer.

“Thank you, Subaru.”

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