Loser –Looking back, I used to be like a protagonist. My childhood friend Yuzuki and I lived in the same neighborhood, and we had been together ever since we were little. In elementary school, I became very close with Kirari, who became my classmate, and we played together as if we were best friends of the same sex. When I became a junior high school student, my mother, who was a single parent, got married and I got a stepsister. For the next three years, I spent time with Azusa as if we were real siblings. So the three of them were very special to me. I had such …… special feelings for them that I was sure that one of them would be my life partner in the future and we would spend the rest of our lives together. I was close to three such attractive people. It’s an unusual fortune. I’m sure I could be mistaken for the protagonist–and I think I could be.
It’s not that there was anything special about the three of them. Yuzuki just happened to live in my neighborhood, Kirari just happened to be my classmate, and Azusa just happened to be the child of someone my mother remarried. There was no fateful encounter, but that didn’t change the fact that the three of them were special. And I thought that the three of them must have seen me as special, too. But that was my mistake. (TLN: OMG FINALLY!???) It wasn’t “fate” that brought me together with these girls, it was just a coincidence. It seems that to them, I was just a stranger. In other words, I was the only one who had special feelings for them. At the entrance ceremony of the high school, the moment the story of Ryoma Ryuzaki, the harem protagonist, began, I realized my mistake. Congratulations, the three of them had been discovered by Ryoma Ryuzaki.
They met him, and for the first time, they met the “real” protagonist. And at the same time, they realized. They realized that I was the first “protagonist”. “Onii-chan … Well, maybe Azusa’s real Onii-chan might be Ryoma Onii-chan.” That’s what my stepsister told me, and I lost the significance of being a brother. “Kotaro-san …… I think I may have met my destiny. For the first time, I’ve met someone I want to give my all to.” That’s what my childhood friend told me, and I was no longer even a good friend of hers. She became obsessed with Ryuzaki and eventually started to forget about me. “I’m sorry, Ko-kun. There’s someone I’ve fallen in love with. I’ll do whatever it takes to make him like me……. Even if it kills the me I’ve always been, I want to be the person he likes.”
My best friend Kirari sacrificed even her own personality to be liked by Ryuzaki. She dyed her hair, put in colored contacts, changed her tone of voice, and twisted her personality. She was no longer Kirari Asakura, my best friend. She became Asakura-san, a complete stranger.
In other words, I lost the three people who were special to me at the same time. It was an unbelievable fall for the protagonist. It’s a cruel ending, even for the sake of the story. …… I was not really in love with them. If I had to say whether I liked them or not, I liked them, but I didn’t have any ulterior motives for them or anything like that. I didn’t think of them as special because they were girls, because they were cute, or because I wanted to go out with them. It was just that they were important to me and I felt special. I wanted to get to know them better if I could. If I may be so bold as to say that it would be ideal if I could go out with any one of the three …… people. However, in the worst case scenario, if they marry someone who isn’t …… me, that’s fine, as long as they’re happy.
However, even having such thoughts seemed to be a hindrance to the girls……, and my existence has been painted with the color of Ryuzaki. It’s not possible to be the protagonist like this. That’s why I thought of myself like this. I’m like a mob character. When I thought about it that way, I felt a lot better. I was hurt because I had mistakenly thought I was the protagonist, but once I accepted that I was a mob character, I was able to relax. Even if I was betrayed, disappointed, or had my expectations lowered, it was all inevitable. Because I’m a mob character, it’s only natural. That’s how I came to recognize myself as a mob character. I’ve come to think of everything from a meta perspective, and I’ve forced myself to accept my lack of rewards.
But if I’m being honest, …… I wanted to be a protagonist, too. I didn’t become a mob character because I wanted to. Ryuzaki……, so you’re not a loser. The loser is me. The pathetic mob character who mistook himself for the protagonist, if not a loser?