Chapter 1: Agonknee

Life wasn't very daijoubu today it seems. 

I tripped over a rock.

Technically, the rock isn't a real rock. The natural kind you knock your head on in a cave with a mysterious diety that wants to kill you. This 'rock' was once a part of the pavement. Some asshole decided to use a chainsaw on it and now it's in cracked pieces. 

Well, if I'm going to be honest... 

I have no idea how the pavement was broken into that rock. But while sitting on the broken ground I pulled out my phone to ask my good friend, Gxxgle "how to break pavement". The first article says : ... the large chunks of asphalt can be broken apart later with a saw, jackhammer, pick ax or shovel. Try to excavate as close to your home as possible.... 

I'd also like to add that Gxcgle thinks I'm a retard.  Because when I had "how to break up oavement" in the search bar, all related questions were things that only retarded losers would ask. And of course I had to click on them. 

the following are some examples (not all, because obviously there's more retarded losers like me who ask these questions): 

#1. how to break asphalt by hand 

#2 how to break up asphalt with pickaxe

#3 how to break up concrete in a straight line

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And so on. 

Karma decided to be a bitch today so I majestically went and kowtowed to the old man walking infront of me. Rocks are walking hazards, literally. For the walkers and nobody else. Fuck, my knees directly kissed the ground when I tripped. That's alright, my kneecaps have been through worse. To make it better I've got a joke to tell... 

My knees hurt so bad from that fall, you can say I'm in-

Agonknee

Angony

ha ha ha

-the end 

Anyways, I picked myself up and limped all the way home. Somebody's 60 year old grandma bypassed me while I was at it but that fine. Oh, and it turns out there's a seniors 6k marathon every month where I live. The winners get a new set of baking gloves and a cookie. 

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