Chapter 35: Chapter 35: No role models

Chapter 35: No role models

Don't save the talking fish. She doesn't want to be saved.

I am a reincarnator. Sigh, what crap that is. It wasn't enough that I was born as a fish, but now I have to swim upriver, to deliver the Caviar of Truth to some hero.

No, I am not the hero. So many times, I tried to get out of the school. Not school, as in the human institution. I mean school, as in fish school. Yet, the merciless current and the other fish pull me with them.

Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved.

I still have my memories of my past life. That song repeats in my mind. Which, I guess, is nice, but it makes me reflect, ok?

My first husband was a man named Alek. He was a real sweetheart. But there was no passion between us. I knew I would push him out of the way of a truck, but I wanted to avoid doing the bedroom sport with him.

I guess, it all came down to his feet. He had warts on his toes, which made me demand he sleep with socks, even during the summer. It was because of that; I still believe, that he died.

If I hadn't asked him to take his socks to the dry cleaner, seeing as our washing machine broke down, he would have never gotten hit by that truck. If I were with him, he might have survived. Yet, I was slightly behind him, carrying two bags with our winter coats.

That was a miserable Christmas.  

Anyway, a girl can't stay by herself for too long. I mourned, gave his things to the Salvation Army, and then hit the bars. I really wanted to find the exciting new love of my life.

I guess Joe was ok, in the looks department. He was a marine biologist, who had come to sunny California for… what was it again? I bet he explained it to me a thousand times, but I was more interested in my drinks than in him.

So, what made him husband material number two? Joe had a wonderful cherub of a son. The little boy was just three, but already knew how to count. He made up songs with counting. Using a different jig every time. I loved listening to him.

More than once, I jokingly thought that I was born too early. For, where Joe was plain, little Nathaniel had the tell-tale signs of being a ladykiller, once he grew up.

Anyway, I swallowed my bitterness, and thought fondly that I will be able to have a hand in the molding of the little snugly. We had fun as a family, but, again, I didn't have any desire for the bedroom sport. Joe just chalked it down to me being asexual, and left me to my devices.

Until he got his arm bitten off by a shark, and ended up bleeding out in the middle of nowhere. The funny thing about the entire situation was that sharks use their mouths to explore things. Sort of like how a cat wants to sniff and rub itself against everything. So, in a way, it was one deadly "how do you do?"

I ate shark meat for an entire year after that. Even Nate joined in. I told him, before each meal, that we were eating the shark's family. I remember how, during the funeral, I told him we ate the shark which killed his father.

I have never seen anybody, much least a child, eat with such a venomous glare.

After husband number 2, it was harder to find husband number 3. Nate's mother died long before I met Joe, so, there was nobody to demand him from me. Which was great. I was a programmer, and made enough to support a small boy. Yet, I still yearned for love.

That was when I met Tamara. She was a single mother, who brought her daughter to the same kindergarten as the one I brought Nathaniel to. Now, I knew there was something wrong with her.

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I really should have run, when she told me she was an influencer. Or, when I saw her smoke an entire pack one cigarette after the other, in the span of an hour.

One thing that was different with Tamara than the two husbands I had, was that the bedroom sport finally had flavor. She did things with her tongue, that brought me to bliss long before any dick has ever had. I guess, I really should have known that I am not exactly as straight as a ruler.

Anyway, a month in, and she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I was by her side during the entire debacle. Through the chemo, the meds, the bald spots.

In the end, she loved her addiction more than me.

One shout for the niggers who don't know…

One shout for the niggers who know…

Wonderful song, breaks me out of my musings every time. Hm, I think that this is the final stretch of the way. Time to unload the cargo, and get eaten by a bear. Ah, fun times. Better than being a fish, in the cold water, for the past couple of months.

What did me in, you may ask? Well, simple. Nate and I were coming back from his college graduation, and a truck came down speeding at us. Now, this time, I knew what to do. I pushed him onto the sidewalk, and the truck dragged me down the street. I almost didn't feel anything.

My only regret is that I didn't take Joe home…

My only regret is being born too early for Alek alone…

Now I am left with these hoes from reality shows…

I like to weave in the people in my life in this song. For, this song really speaks to me, ok? Just what was wrong with me, that I didn't keep the two good men in my life. Why did I never go soul-searching after Tamara? When will I be free of her?

"Ah, found you," I am plucked out of the water, and I see her. The bane of my existence. The tramp who left me with debt, only because she drowned herself in cigarettes. "You must be the talking fish. I, like, have a wish."

I hit her with my tail, and then clamp down my teeth on her nose. She screams, and lets me go. No, I will not go back to her now, that I have the chance. I am going to Joe and Alek, darn it all, and we are getting threesomes, while we look after Nate from the skies!

Sorry, I am never going home, I am going to stay for good…

What Shannon, the talking fish, didn't know, was that she was already with Joe and Alek, but they have moved on without her. Joe was now back in the reincarnation cycle, without his memories, and Alek was married.

And she? She died when she released her eggs into the water. With the fond memory of getting one last laugh at her greatest disappointment. The now Demon Lady Tamara, the bane of the vampire society.

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