Chapter 1: Digital Graves

The decision to put on that headset was one of the hardest I’ve ever made.

As soon as the world loaded my personal custom space, there she was. Happy. Laughing. Real. Or as real as she could be now.

Her dress, light for the summer garden we were in, moved with the gentle breeze. Blue silk that showed off thin shoulders bronzed by the sun’s kiss. I’d often mentioned that, but she shrugged it off.

“If the sun wants to show its affection, why should it not? Does it not entice you to know it loves me almost as much as you do?”

My answer was always flippant and vague, but I knew the truth. It couldn’t love her nearly as much. Nobody could. Now when it wasn’t there to see her off. She moved to stand beside me, her small hand slipping into mine. Without thinking, I squeezed down, and she followed suit.

For what felt like years, we stood still.

“I miss you.”

That was all I could think to say at the moment. Her face turned towards mine, green eyes sparkling as she looked at me. Full of life and wonder. No signs of the pain and exhaustion. Love, not despair. My heart broke with each passing moment.

Then she spoke, and not words I remember. We’d spent days programming in responses for each of our avatars. Our way of coping before we could see each other in person once more. Long days of work and travel. Meals eaten in restaurants, oceans apart. This gave us a sense of being close. And now it was mine alone.

The words hurt.

“I’ll always be with you,” she said, her soft voice sounding serious. A rarity in the real world. “Always. Live for me. Eat, sleep, travel. Love again. You are something important. Maybe not to the uncaring world. Never that. But to the people near you? The people who know you? They care. How could they not?”

I released her grip as she pulled away. She spun, hair flowing behind her, until she stopped and caught my eye once more. Beauty incarnate, a fairy in her ethereal garden. Precious, but not substantial.

“Promise me. Promise me you won’t visit me to mourn? That you’ll go to the real world. Live in the real world. Be something better than a few words programmed in here? Promise me.”

I did.

I promised her the world.

And the simulation ended.

Which made my decision to put the headset back on, one of the hardest I’ve ever made.

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