Chapter 482: Wan Wan?

" Wan Wan"
She spun around to look at him, Lin Yu was standing several feet away from her. He might be trying to be considerate by giving her the space that she wanted but Su Wan was in no mood to be considerate of his feelings, that cold laugh, the victorious sneer - that woman's face was still burnt in her memories even after so many years. She should have forgotten her mother just like she forgot that she was her daughter before leaving her scarred for life but she couldn't- Su Wan hated her mother just as much she loved her, no matter how much that woman went cuckoo in her later years she was once a loving mother .. it was just that her love for her kid was on the backpedal of her life while the love she had for her father was something that she could never compare to, it wasn't her failed marriage that caused her to doubt herself but this - the suicide of her mother.  Was she not enough for her mother to stay alive for? 
She took a deep breath as she looked away from Lin Yu " I want to be alone"  but this stubborn husband of her remained where he was " Just go, Ah Yu."
" No" As if he could let her be alone in such a condition. She didn't know it but she hadn't been alone for a single second, he had followed her the minute she stepped out of her room and stayed at her safe distance behind her to give time to find her solace but he remained close. It wasn't easy, he could still feel his knee throb after limping so fast after her " you might think that you want to be alone but you don't, who why don't you tell me what's going on with you? Maybe I can help you? There is nothing wrong with relying on us once in a while"
Shivers danced down her spine as Lin Yu's silky tone slid over her skin, he didn't even have any idea how he was stirring her senses. She wanted to rely upon… of course, she wanted to rely on someone but she knew that she will hurt him involuntarily " You don't want to be here with me right now, Yu. I don't feel good". 
She was restless after having the same nightmare that hasn't left her for so many years, her mother was a woman who was supposed to protect her not taint her life with a stain that she could never wash away. And it only made things worse than the original Su Wan shared the same birthday with her, maybe she should have forgotten that woman but she was like a dark shadow that would always creep out of her stupid grave whenever her birthday got close.

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Lin Yu saw her pace around in distress and he could notice how closely winded up she was, she was trying to make herself look strong but this only made her look even more vulnerable. He could feel the onslaught of his own emotions, he wanted to get close to her and soothe her. He also wanted to bury the person who was behind her distress - Lin Yu had never been someone who wouldn't acknowledge his emotions, he was someone who relied on sheer facts and he wouldn't brood in silence trying to deny his own feelings, it was something he learned as a hard lesson after losing his legs to that accident.
He knew that Su Wan was a woman for whom he would happily kill people and he have killed a few people for her, so how could he ignore her when she was like this?  He took so low deliberate steps, he could see that her eyes were dancing back and forth with anxiety and anger, once he got close,  he gently took her hand in his " Wan Wan, Look at me, what's wrong?"
Su Wan paused in her pacing, she looked up at Lin Yu who was standing in front of her because she was too lost in her own thoughts trying to keep her haunting memories in close check, trying to keep the memory of the nauseating smell of blood from overwhelming her, she didn't even notice when he got close to her. She was looking at him but at the same time she wasn't looking at him-she was looking at someone who was masculine and warm, someone who could help her in taking her mind off that woman, upon whom she could release her frustration, whom she can hurt and in exchange ask him to hurt her in return.
She saw her release in Lin Yu,  he could totally help her, she inwardly thought as her gaze drifted to those sturdy pectoral muscles. She couldn't even pay any attention to what he was saying,  all of her attention was on his mouth that was moving as he spoke something to her.  If she asked Lin Yu would give her what she wanted an outlet for her pent up frustration but that would make her just as selfish as her mother. Didn't she use her as her outlet by committing suicide in front of her? Because she wanted to hurt someone just as she was hurting? 
Su Wan wasn't comfortable with that... Lin Yu has done nothing wrong. He didn't even know why she was reacting like this - so how can she look at him like this? How can she even think of using him as a human toy? What was wrong with her?  She was better than this, yes she was a better woman than this, she forced herself to look away from Lin Yu and said " You won't understand, even if I tell you" She closed her eyes and took a few steps back before covering her front with her chest " You need to go, Yu"
Yeah right, nothing in the world could make him move from her when she sounded so vulnerable.  Even if Lin Yu was hard-hearted enough to ignore everyone else, his protective instincts towards Su Wan wouldn't let him ignore her. He will never leave her alone when she wanted him the most " Is it because of your past life?"

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