Chapter 144: Chapter 143: Cay’s Crays

Hello, Oceana here. I have learnt a valuable lesson about harems: Going out to eat at a restaurant is difficult. Everyone has different tastes, no one wants to pay the bill, and most annoyingly, there's never a big enough table. Fortunately, the good ol' captain came up with the greatest possible compromise: Everyone just goes to a restaurant they like. This has led to a very awkward situation, though. The others went in small groups, but for some odd reason, the captain asked me to eat with him alone. I saw the grins of the others, which were very annoying. Man… to think I'd have to reject my friend. Oh well.

The captain takes us to a pretty rundown tavern, one that looks like several brawls just happened. He booked a private room… I didn't know taverns had private dining rooms. "I used to come here all the time. Makes me feel nostalgic." He leads me into the private room he booked, sitting down. Geez, didn't pull back my chair. How rude.

The table had nothing but seven mugs of beer and a single cooked crayfish, all on the captain's side. Makes sense, I don't need to eat. I know Darky can, and some other Shadow Clones asked her to give them the ability to eat. I'd take it, but not needing to eat to function is very useful when you're at sea.

"Ah, Cay's food was something I always loved." The captain downed a mug, then looked at me with a joking grin. "The harem thinks tonight is when I make you mine."

I take out my notebook from my shadow, writing on it. 'Sorry, I don't see a romantic relationship being possible for us.'

The captain chugs down a second mug, slamming it down and letting out a hearty chuckle. "Hahaha! Me too, lassy. Me too! You'd have to be insanely tolerant or just plain insane to date you or one of your sisters!"

'You seem insanely tolerant, considering you have a harem.'

"Bahaha!!! You're right! A non-binary Kraken, a sex-crazed ghost, a reincarnator mermaid, and that's not even getting into whatever Jamal is!" He takes a few swigs out of his third mug, quickly finishing it. "But they can't compare to you! Come on, you're the one who fought the Ocean Spirit and won! Alex won't admit it, but he's glad you barely tried when he first tried to kill us!"

'Good point.' This is like our usual conversations, but surely there's a reason he brought me here alone. Even Alex is not here; they're always by the captain's side. Something about being the most senior harem member. 'So, why is it just me and you if it's not an attempt to make me join the harem?'

"There are two reasons. Which would you like to hear first? The one that ends with you getting a present, or the one that ends with you getting a job?" He sipped his drink, waiting for my answer.

'I'll take the present.'

"Very well, then." He reached into his pocket, then brought out a pair of gloves, throwing them over to me. I caught them, putting them on, before seeing a Side Note.

Extra Hands You can summon and control floating hands. Side Note: Need a hand?

"Consider it thanks for being the harem's only maid. I know you can summon your sisters, but I imagine this would be much better." He takes a swig from a new mug. I think that's his fourth. "You also focus more when I talk about Sacred Power Items than anything else, so I figured it'd be something you'd like."

I put the gloves on, then create an extra pair of arms that start writing in my notebook for me. Finally, I can talk to the others while doing tasks. I make the hands carrying the notebook float next to my head, making it draw a text bubble on it. That is staying there. 'Jazz hands.' I conjure up some more hands, making them all wave alongside me.

"Great to see you like them…" He finishes his fourth mug. "Now, onto my problem."

'Doris' hydrophobia popped up again? The raft got marauded again? You accidentally seduced another person?'

"None of those." He pushes the mugs and empty plate aside (When did he finish the crayfish?), then put his elbows on the table, looking at me seriously. "You know how the weddings will be soon?"

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Oh yeah, the weddings. In three days, it'll be three whole, consecutive days of wedding after wedding after wedding. The harem members shared vows back on the raft, but they each wanted an actual wedding with the captain once we got on land. Let me tell you, I am so glad I wasn't asked to plan the weddings. The only thing I had to do was make the dresses. 'What about the wedding?'

"I am afraid to say I lack a best man."

'Couldn't you just get one of the harem members to be that? I'm sure Alex would be glad to fill in, then you just need someone for Alex's wedding.'

"The harem agreed that they'd be nothing but guests at each other's weddings. Something about attention, or spotlight."

'Oh. Do you not have any friends?'

"I spent most of my day on a raft that held nothing but members of a harem I didn't expect."

'Skill issue.'

"I do have one friend. A very close one."

'Who?' Is it the shark that keeps attacking us? The hat he wears? The raft?

"You."

'Aww… wait, what?'

"Oceana, I need you to be my best man."

'That sounds funny. I'm in!'

"Hahaha!" He pushed a mug over to me, then held one over his head. "I knew you would! Cheers!" He held his mug towards me. I grabbed one, chinking it with his, writing a 'Cheers!' on my notebook. I quickly drank the mug, then suddenly blacked out… I forgot I asked Darky to let me drink without needing to eat. Fuck.

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Item profile: Handyman's Hands

Sacred power: Extra Hands

Maximum amount of hands: No limit.

Description: The gloves that offer extra hands. These gloves were the magnum opus of a supervillain from an Earth variant where an anomaly infected its metals, causing technology to have some… weird effects. The Handyman created a pair of gloves using an ore that had a fabric feel to it, not knowing it also had a very limited amount of telekinetic energy in it. This allowed him to create extra hands, which he used for burglary. Due to an event that involved the amalgamation of six different Earths, a Void portal, and Mara's insistence on hoarding random shit, the Handyman's Hands fell into Mendass. The Captain found these in an auction that happened nearby.

Chapter namesake: Cay's Crays by Fat Freddy's Drop