Chapter 162: Chapter 161: Open Road

What's up, it's me, back from the line of the dead, Madeleine here. I'm in a car. That's right, you heard me. I'm in a car. It's not that weird, though, since cars existing have already been established with Rich's ride, and also, I knew about cars before that. I read about it in a book. In fact, there are a lot of things I know because I read about it, it's just that I turned myself into an idiot. Why did I do that? Idiocy benefits no one but the one person who gets a power boost for every imbecile in Mendass. That's a real Sacred Power. Trust me, I'm insane.

Merry gifted us the car, mainly because it was the quickest way to make us go far away. I have no idea which of us angered her (My bet is that it was Rika), but at least we got this cool ride. Can you guess who the driver is? 

If you guessed either Rika or Mel, since they're from Earth, you're wrong. Mel died before she was old enough to drive, according to herself, and Rika was sent to a different world while she was in this thing called High School. Sounds terrible. So that leaves five of us left. I'll let you guys have a second guess. The remaining folks are me, Sherry, Rio, and the two shadow clones partnered up with those two. By the way, the other shadow clones are chilling in the Shadowrealm, waiting for us to revive their partners.

If you guessed the two Shadow Clones or me, you're wrong again! Look, just because I know what a car is and that I read a book about them doesn't mean I can drive them. The only thing I can drive is people… I drive them insane. Haha! Our driver is Sherry. Apparently, she's a world-champion-class drag racer, drift racer, and Formula One racer. I asked her to elaborate, but she kept on going on tangents about Earth things unrelated to racing, like cake, fashion, or whatever the fuck hockey is. Also, what the hell is a Norwegian?

I've noticed something about Sherry… she's stealing my weird part of the group spot! I should sue her… actually, I shouldn't. She knows how to lawyer and has won at least two cases. I don't know how to lawyer. I skimmed the law-related books. Those ones were boring.

Do you know what else is boring? This trip. I've always been bored by carriage trips, and even though it goes faster, cars ain't any better. At least with the carriage trips, I could occasionally split off and run into the forest to kill some monsters. I'm fast enough to catch up, but this car? Ain't no way I'm catching up without utilising more exhausting abilities. 

You know what? I'm going to continue rambling about this whole car trip thing. So, as I said before, there's seven of us in this car… well, more like six in the car and one on the roof. The one on the roof is the gladiator-looking Shadow Clone, the one with the snazzy helmet. I can even see the dagger she stabbed into the roof to use as a handle. I have no idea why she's up there instead of simply staying inside the Shadowrealm… maybe she's a weird idiot like Sherry. Speaking of Sherry, she's in the driver's seat, and Rika is, in her words, the GPS. No idea what that is.

I'm in the middle in the back since, apparently, I'm the smallest. I did not know that… like I knew Mel was bigger than me, but Rio too? I will say that I was tempted to sit on Mel, but that was rejected. Mel is to my right, leaning on me, fast asleep. Cars make her drowsy, evidently. Her sleeping face is cute, but her drool isn't. On my left are Rio and Deja. Yes, both of them. Deja is on Rio's lap, and they're in this weird, unbreakable hug. Such loving eyes from Rio… is she really the person who used to be my owner? It's really fucking weird.

So that's it… man, when is something going to happen… why am I upside down again?

"Huh?!" Mel wakes up, awakened by the sudden noise. "What's going on?!"

"We are currently flying through the air." I looked through the front window and noticed that we were indeed in the air. Huh. 

"This reminds me of this one time I did a backflip on a monster truck." The driver reminisced, clearly unfazed by what was happening.

"At least they threw us towards our location," Rika said, looking out her window. I looked out Rio's window, noticing that the two looked like they didn't even know we were flying. Outside the window, I could see a giant made out of earth. I guess that's what threw us. Eventually, the earthen figure got smaller as we got higher. At least that was cool.

"Hey Madeleine," Mel tapped my shoulder, and I looked at her. "Can I have a sandwich?"

"Sure." I pulled out my special Sandwich-on-a-dagger and handed it over to her. "Anyone else wants lunch?"

They all nod, each telling me what they'd like to eat. We casually eat lunch, waiting for the car to land near our location, the former Luminescence Academy, and currently one of the 72 Calamities: Toxicity Itself.

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Chapter namesake: Open Road by Ra Costelloe