Chapter 166: Chapter 165: Big Iron

I've learnt a valuable lesson on this road trip. Three hooligans saying dumb things is not as fun as three hooligans saying dumb things with a fourth to retort. I'm almost tempted to go into the Shadowrealm to fight all my clones to get Mel back, but that'd be domestic abuse. The only domestic abuse that should happen in my family is the kind Mel does to me in bed… just kidding! That's not domestic abuse, it's something else… Mel will kill me if she finds out I told you guys… or maybe she'll kill you guys. Good luck.

Anyways, we're still on the road trip, and in the car, it's still just me, Rika, and Sherry. I'm tempted to pull someone out of the Shadowrealm, but they're all still in their 'We died, but we're back. I don't want to lose you again' thing. I'd feel bad if I dragged them up here. I guess there's also Kyrie, Sherry's shadow clone partner, but she's up on the roof, and she hasn't gotten that surgery thing they do in the Shadowrealm that lets them talk. Don't ask me how it works, I have no idea. Shadow clone biology is something I have yet to read about. Maybe Mr Rox has a book on it.

I did drag something out to fill the seat next to me, though. It's Croen! Well, the time-frozen statue of Croen. I brought him up so I could put the badge I got from the floating cloak in the Afterlife. It's a neat badge, but it also made Croen stop looking like a skeleton. I put it on, then this weird spectre came out of it, sucked something out of Croen's mouth, and then his skeleton face and body turned into a demon face and body. Oh, and the spectre flew into the ground.

That's it… I guess. The only thing left to note is that Rika and Sherry are very intent on running over someone. Using her Nigh-Omniscience, Rika told Sherry that there was a red cowboy on the road and that she should speed up. What the hell is a cowboy? A young male cow beastkin? I wonder if he has milk… or is that a female cow beastkin thing? Is it beastkin or beastfolk? I forget.

"Oh ho! He wants to play Chicken with us!" Rika points at the bright red figure on an equally red horse riding towards us. "Very well! Sherry, speed up!"

"Hahaha! He's a fool!" Sherry lets out a huge smirk, then slams on the accelerator pedal, sending the car forward. "I never lose these games!"

The car and the horse get closer and closer. I should probably stop this since red horses are an endangered species… yeah, I guess I will. Before I could attempt to stop Sherry, the horse leapt into the air. Rika and Sherry released a gasp of shock, which grew louder when we heard a thud on the roof, bouncing the car.

Sherry immediately pressed down on the brakes, violently turning the steering wheel and sending the car to a sudden drifting stop. The horse on top of the car was flung forward, bouncing a few times before lying still in the middle of the road. We all turned our heads towards the house, noticing a lack of a human body when we heard a knock from the windows on the opposite side. 

Outside we saw a cowboy (I assume that's what a cowboy looks like. He has a nice hat. I might steal it.) wearing an audacious amount of red. He was also holding a gun. I have no idea what the gun is, but he sure is aiming it at us.

"G-get out of the car. I'm commandeering it!" He yelled out. The voice lacks conviction… I could easily take him down.

"Then take him down." Rika says, ignoring the armed man.

"Fine." I was getting bored anyways. 

I opened the door, which startled the man before he refocused and aimed the gun at the door. I slowly and calmly got out, staring at the gun and then at the man's eyes. Damn, he has the weapon, and he's the scared one. Yikes.

Gun You have a gun. Side Note: I know from firsthand experience that having a gun in an isekai is not that great of a cheat to have.

What kind of advice is that, mom? And what's an isekai?

"I-I'll shoot!"

I slapped the gun out of his hand, which made him fall backwards onto his butt. Huh… that was easy. I picked up the gun and then went back into the car.

"I took him down."

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"What a bore." Rika sighed. "Drive on, Sherry."

"You know, I've beaten an entire army all by myself at a game of paintball."

"What's a paintball?"

Sherry drove off, leaving behind the red cowboy. I guess I have his gun now.

---

Meanwhile, in the Afterlife

"Ah… my power returns. Mendass' true Death God returns. I shall punish Croen the Traitor soon, but first… you are the Shadow Clone named Cookie, correct?"

"Yes. Why?"

"A gauntlet shall be created soon, made for the focus of this world, organised by someone who wishes to exist for much longer."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"You are to be invited as one of the highest threats."

"No deal."

"Oh, you have no say."

"Annoying."

"I very much agree. Let us go pick up the other obstacles who just so happened to have become deceased."

---

Character profile: Walker

Sacred power: Gun

Favourite gun: AK-47 (It's the only gun he knows the name of)

Description: The red cowboy. Walker is a fish out of the water who was summoned to Mendass alongside his after-school detention class. While they got fancy magic powers, he got stuck with a gun. At first, he thought he was invincible, but recently, he's realised there are a multitude of things that the gun cannot damage and a bunch of people who are faster than bullets. Also, it turns out guns already exist in Mendass, so it's not even a unique existence that he can sell off for a quick buck. Let's not forget that he's having ammunition problems, but that's not the worst part. The worst part is that he's forced to wear a shitty Texas Red cosplay if he wants to wield the gun.

Chapter namesake: Big Iron by Marty Robbins