Chapter 219: 216 Push

It was her mom and dad standing side by side.

The two wore sad apologetic faces as they looked out towards her. Her father had one of his arms wrapped down around her mother, as her hand came up to grasp his forearm for comfort.

Seeing them after so long Chang burst out in tears and ran towards them harder, her feet driving into the softs tufts with her desperation. No matter how she ran they grew no closer or further from her, looking as if they stood only twenty feet away.

"Mom! Dad" As she was unable to advance to them Chang cried out and held a hand to them hoping she could touch them.

Looking up at them, the wind started to blow harder making the white dress she wore give crisp snaps. As the gale forces increased Changs short black hair whipped around her face trying to blot out the sight of her parents.

".."

"What?"

Standing not too far from them Chang could clearly see their mouths moving, yet the wind snatched their words away immediately.

"I can't hear you! Mom! Dad!" Cupping her hands to her mouth Chang tried to amplify her voice to reach them. If they could hear her maybe she could hear them.

The two called out to her with sad, desparate looks but howling wind drowned out whatever they were trying to say. As they called out to her with silent mouths they held their hands out to her beckoning her to come to them.

"I can't, I'm sorry." Knowing she was unable to Chang sank to her knees in defeat. Looking at them, feeling alone Chang heard the thudding of feet behind her.

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Turning she barely saw the flash of legs before they had moved past her, running towards her mother and father. From the back she could see it was a girl with long flowing dark brown hair, wearing a dress like she was. The girl had one hand on the hemline pulling it up slightly so that it would not impede her knees in her dash. Once at the end of the hill they were on, the girl made a sudden leap.

Sailing through the empty air, the girl in the white dress landed before her mother and father who accepted her with broad smiles and hugs. After holding them the girl turned towards her wearing a cocky self-assured smile.

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Digging her nails into her palm, Chang felt like hot coals were raked against her heart as her old self broke off eye contact and turned away. She could see a trace of pity for her, as if she were another soul.

'I am. I see that. I'm sorry that I've moved on from who I was, but I had to. I couldn't survive as who I was.'

"Mom, Dad!" Jealous that her old self could reach them but she could not Chang stood. Lifting her dress as she had done, Chang started running to the end trying to jump as she had. As she leapt, she saw the distance between them was far greater than it had appeared, with a black chasm stretching below. She sailed aways over it but not close enough to be with herself and her parents.

Clawing at the air Chang fell short watching as they grew taller above her. As she fell, she saw the three of them lean over the edge with concerned looks. Her father, mother, and herself watched her fall, as if helpless themselves.

Yelling out Chang dug her nails into her palm falling further into the blackness. Awakening abruptly Chang sat right up to find that Jian had an arm already around her.

"It is alright, you just had a nightmare. You are fine Chang." Stroking her head he lulled her back to sleep beside him. Laying beside him she was unable to fall back asleep, but listened as his breathing became more even and shallow in sleep.

Feeling the heavy rock of guilt and sadness sitting on her chest Chang could barely breathe. Laying awake she knew she had to make the decision today and the push. It could not be delayed any longer.

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