'I should never have watched so many crime shows and the like, I can't stop thinking of the worst. Please Hénri watch over out daughter.' Li Hua squeezed her lips and eyes tight feeling sick. 'I hope Jian finds her soon.'
She looked at Hakim al-Hassan and recounted a time long ago.
"I lost Chang only once before. It was when she was really little, almost 5, and we went to the hospital to visit my mother. It was the first and last time she ever met my mother. My mother died shortly after of emphysema.
"I took her inside, in a pretty little dress, I wanted to show my mother how beautiful she was, and how happy that I was. She and my father had been incredibly disapproving of Hénri, and against us eloping at such a young age. Our marriage severely damaged ties with both our families. Yet it lead to our happiness and a beautiful baby girl in our first year of marriage." Li Hua smiled remembering the joy of holding her tiny fresh little body and wishing she could share that joy with her mother.
"One of my elder sisters called me to let me know, only at the last moment, but I'm still grateful for that moment. The look on my mother's face when she saw my Xiao Xie who came right up to her. My mother was less than enthused to see me, even after all the years.
My precious daughter went right up to her bedside holding a bunch of sweet pea flowers she had picked for her, my mother's favorite. I grew them in our garden as a remembrance always and had told her about that. I don't think I had ever seen my mother so joyful in her entire life, or laugh like she did that day.
When we went to leave my mother who hadn't said a word after screaming at me to leave spoke to me. She told me, 'You did good Li Hua. She's beautiful. You should come again next week, I'll have your father there too. The old fool may never admit it but I'm sure he would be glad to see you two as well.'"
Shu Yan also gave her daughter a rare smile before turning her head away towards the window, dismissing her. Her jaw held strong, her side profile illuminated by the light from the window. It was the last memory she had of her mother. She had ruled their home with an iron fist, but only out of love, Li Hua had come to understand. Yan Shu had wanted all her children to have successful bright lives like she had never had the chance to have.
"In those few seconds I turned my head back to my mother, Chang took off and when I turned my head back I saw her gone. I rushed to the hallway, checking anywhere a little girl might go, but I couldn't find her. And so I ran to the first nurse's station I saw for help desperate.
"I ran up on them quickly to see that it was my father, sitting with his hand captured by my daughter as she told him all about meeting her grandma for the first time excitedly. She told him all about her grandma, and what a pretty and nice lady that she was, and how she gave her some yummy jello. I think I saw my father smile for the first time and the last time then thanks to her.
"She gave me a pretty good scare then, but that's the only time. But now this is something on a whole other level, if something happened to her too, I just.." Li Hua she put her head in her hands and leaned her head against Hakim al-Hassan's shoulder. "She's the only member of my family left.."
Li Hua had run up on them, stricken, in her 25 years it had been the biggest scare of her life. As soon as she saw her daughter she called out to her alerting them both.
Her father, Feng Yan, had stood and looked at Li Hua squatting enveloping the little girl in her arms, who nestled in like a little chick. He looked back and forth at the two of them, for a moment it had almost seemed like he might cry but he didn't.
Feng Yan instead gave her only a small nod before walking past her. It had been almost an unbearable level of heartbreak for her facing them again. As soon as they got home, and she put Chang down for a nap she called Hénri. . He came home about an hour after she called him and he swooped her up in his arms, holding her tight giving her a safe haven to let loose her pent up tears.
"Nous sommes fammile ma cherie, ne pleure plus."1 He had whispered into her ear.
"Heh you know I can't understand you." She had chuckled a little through her tears her head laying on his wide shoulder as he rocked her gently.