Chapter 101: Ch.25 Sophia-san (2/3)

 

As if she was running out of energy, Sophia-san slumped her body onto me. Emotionally, she was certainly tired, but she pushed herself to keep going.

“It was during the Christmas holiday that I came home from boarding school. I was excited to see everyone…but more excited to spend time with my Onee-chan.”

She sighed as she pushed her body up, trying to wake up.

“Linda came to our family mansion for a social party.  She looked like a noblewoman in that pure white dress… next to that drunk she dared call her fiancé.”

Angrily, she scorned.

“It was only a matter of time until he spilled his wine on her dress. Of course, she was nothing short of embarrassed as she stood up and raced to the bathroom.”

Knowing the Taylor-sensei today, I couldn’t imagine that she had to deal with someone like that. But instead of commenting quite yet, I listened closely.

“At this time, his spending habits were out of control, and the stocks of the firm were sharply plummeting."

Sophia-san sighed.

“Spencer wasn’t making a pleasant name for himself by how he was behaving. The public wanted nothing to do with the Simpson’s because of it. Our family knew where the Simpson’s were heading by this point. I think daddy and mommy were planning to ask Linda to break off the engagement before the wedding was finalized too.”

She spewed in a hateful tone.

“In other words, he was useless to them after all the time he spent breaking Linda’s heart...”

My heart sank thinking about Taylor-sensei…

“I followed her in the bathroom only to witness a pitiful sight of her trying to clean her dress. But nothing would get that stain out…I remember it like yesterday, Madoka-san…”

 

 

“Just break it off with him already, Linda!”

“B-But you don’t understand, Sophia…But I-I-I ….I still love him, Sophia. I-I still love him a lot.”

“I was appalled by this point. This man, who willingly slept behind her back and treated her like an object rather than the love of his life…still held dominion over her heart. I was childish and didn’t understand what love actually was…when I asked her…”

That’s when the floodgates unleashed as Sophia-san began crying. She put her free hand on her chest and cried.

“T-That’s when I made my first mistake…”

Sophia confessed.

“I said…”

“…What if someone…else loved you more than Spencer?”

“But Linda was stubborn…and she told me that…”

“It wouldn’t matter…I-I think I can make it work out…Spencer still loves me.”

Angrily, she hit the wall with her back. I was afraid she’d hurt herself, so I held her tighter, closer to my breast.

“That fool who always dreamed of a fairytale love was stuck in an absolute nightmare…I-I had to do something. I-I couldn’t keep seeing her like this. That’s when I poured out my feelings to her…”

 

“I-I-I…think I’m….in…love with you though, Linda.”

 

 

“I was shaky…nervous, but I wanted to break her free and love her in Spencer’s place. I…wanted to be the prince in her fairytale so Linda would never cry again.”

Sophia-san cried in my arms now. Her pain was great as she confessed what happened.

“Linda said,” 

“What are you saying, Sophia?!”

"She screamed. But after noticing her volume, she calmed herself and whispered to me."

“Don’t say things like that, ever Sophia…it’s not funny. It’s not funny.”

 

 

“But she pushed me away... For the first time, Linda…my loving Onee-chan pushed me away. But…I wanted to make sure Linda was happy. I-In my mind…I wanted to give her the fairytale happiness she deserved, Madoka-san. But she rejected me…”

Her pain was great as she clenched my back.

“I should have stopped there…but I didn’t, Madoka-san. I-I did everything in my power to make sure…Linda was going to be happy.”

“Sophia-san…it’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t! I wanted…to give Linda the happiness she deserved. B-But she was so wrapped up in trying to make her dream a reality. Trying to make Spencer love her the way she used to.”

After a bit of crying…she calmed down to the point that her tears became whimpers. But one thing was certain…Sophia-san wouldn’t let go of my hand as we stayed together.

“In the summer our family went to the cabin again.”

She continued to my surprise. I was sure she was worn out…but Sophia-san was determined to give me the full story.

“…Are you sure you want to keep going, Sophia-san?”

I was worried by this point, but she nodded, tears falling to the floor as she did. So, I wrapped my arms around her again and let her confess all that was ravaging her.

“W-We went to the cabin together…It was only me, mom, Linda, and Eleanor. L-Linda was hesitant at first but eventually, we all went together.”

She sighed, harshly. Her lips quivered as she confessed.

“I…was determined to save my Onee-chan. I…I wanted to show her how much I loved her. The first couple of days…it was like that incident between us never happened…”

Coldly…she stared at the floor.

“But then…when I remembered that after our short vacation…she’d go back to the home depressed… I…brought her out to our special spot. The same spot we sat at…when I was 7 and she was 12.”

Her voice trembled…

“In the middle of the trip, during a starry night, I sat on a log with the Onee-chan I loved. In a few more days she’d go back and try to make things work with her and Spencer. I didn’t want that…so I confessed to her again…”

 

“…I want to make you happy, Linda. That’s why I know I'm in love with you…”

 

 

Her words were pure. They were honest, and I wouldn’t be lying if I said they made my heart leap for a moment.

“I approached her…put my hand on her soft shoulder…and….and…”

Covering her mouth, she confessed.

“I kissed her on the lips…and she let me do it without hesitation. I think…Linda finally accepted me then.”

 

 

As if someone ripped out her heart, her gaze darkened.

“Madoka-san…for the first time in a year…I saw my Onee-chan…smile. That night we spent it alone, just the two of us.”

With a blush, she turned back to me.

“B-But our moment was pure joy. We flirted, kissed in secret, took long hikes together, and talked about a future...that wouldn’t be.”

That’s when her expression darkened…

“…Until…Eleanor discovered us.”

“Eleanor found you two?”

She nodded.

“Eleanor cried, “W-What are you doing?!’ as she pushed me away. She accused Linda of taking advantage of me.”

Sophia-san swallowed.

“A-And I was too afraid to speak up to her. But…Linda, the girl who always protected me, stood up and…took the blame for it.”

My mouth jawed.

“Wait…Linda told them that…”

“Yes…Linda told mom when we were being questioned…that she initiated our first kiss. Obviously, they were livid. I…I never saw them so angry before.”

 

“…I did it…I wasn’t thinking...and I made Sophia kiss me. I-I-I wasn’t thinking…and I’ve been lonely. D-Don’t blame Sophia. S-She wanted to help me.”

 

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“That’s when the weight of my choice…my childish choice finally came to me. I was too scared. I was too afraid to open my mouth as mom questioned Eleanor about what was going on. Linda confessed for me, to protect me. She shouldered all the blame...to protect me from mommy and daddy.”

“Oh…Taylor-sensei…”

“Of course, my mom was beyond hysterical. She immediately ended the trip and took us back home. There, she explained to father that she caught Linda…trying to be intimate with me.”

She attempted to hit her head on the wall, but I held her closer to me. All Sophia-san could do was bite her lip and continue confessing her sins.

“Father expressed his contempt and sent Linda to finish college far away from me. During her time, far away from our family she officially broke it off with Spencer. I was surprised when I heard the news.”

Sophia-san shook her head from side to side. 

“No, that’s not it...I was overjoyed when I heard that she willingly broke free from her nightmare.”

Like a toy out of energy, her body fell limp on my shoulder again.

“So, for the remainder of my middle school years, we didn’t see one another. We had no contact…but knowing her and Spencer weren’t together anymore…made me happy beyond measure.”

Tiredly…she expressed her feelings.

“Over that time…I began to wonder about those feelings I had in me. Spencer was out of my Onee-chan’s life. She was free to find someone to love, and eventually, I noticed that…”

Sophia-san swallowed…

“…That I was at peace…knowing my Onee-chan had a chance to find someone and start over…And eventually…those feelings I had for Linda faded away as those years went by.”

Trembling now, she hit her free hand against the wall.

“That time away from her showed me that all I wanted…was Linda to be happy, Madoka-san. T-That I didn’t love Linda in that way.”

She bit down on her lip… 

“But love isn’t that simple and over the course of time I spent away from her…”

She teared up as she choked.

“Linda’s feelings changed…and she fell in love with me instead.”

That’s when she held my side and aggressively shook me.

“So please, tell me Madoka-san, how do you make someone hate you?! How do you show them that you’re a terrible person?!”

Her nails clawed at me.

 

“I wanted my Onee-chan to be happy! I didn’t want to ruin her life! She had a chance to be happy, and now she’s ruining it! She’s throwing it away for someone who doesn’t love her in that way again! For someone who just wanted to be selfish and see her Onee-chan happy!”

 

 

Her voice was becoming loud as she cried out.

“I-I became her second Spencer, Madoka-san!”

“Sophia-san…calm down.”

“How the hell am I supposed to calm down when my Onee-chan is destroying herself in front of me?! What do I…do? I don’t know what to do!”

In my arms…the confession of the delinquent raced in my mind. This wasn’t simple in the slightest…

If what she said is true…Sophia-san’s feelings have changed. In a journey to save her sister from a neglectful lover, she chose to be her hero and step in…court her…become the knight she always wanted…

But that was just her immature feelings. Sophia-san didn’t understand all the hardships that come with love at that time. She didn’t come to understand the magnitude of her choice until it started to eat her alive. Sophia-san ended up destroying the person she chose to protect.

“Sophia-san…”

The storm grew ever fiercer above. The wind could be heard, easily masking the wails of this girl. So, I pet her hair as I calmly stated…

“We’ll figure this out together…I promise.”

Her cries…the innocent cry of a young girl who gave her feelings to her stepsister. . How could Okabe-san ever mock someone like this? How noble her journey was…only for reality to taint it into something warped and maddening.

“What can I do?”

I asked internally.

Two people on two different levels of love…still genuinely love one another. What they would do for the other’s happiness was immeasurable. But in the political world, they are wrapped up in, there would be no way they could come together to find out one another’s true feelings. So, maybe in Linda’s eyes…Sophia-san is saying she isn’t in love with her because she wants to protect her. But in Sophia-san’s eyes, she wants her sister to find someone and truly be happy…

 For Sophia-san, her happiness would be for Linda not to be destroyed by her choice.

“You two…truly love each other beyond words, Sophia-san.”

I stated as I pet her head.

“I’m horrible…I’m so horrible, Madoka-san. B-But I don’t know how to fix this. I just don’t know what to do…”

The cold was starting to get to me…so I held her tighter and confessed what was truly in my heart.

“…I don’t know either, but…”

That’s when I looked her in the eye and stated clearly. Right now, her pain was my pain and the tears rolling down my cheeks were a testament to that.

“I’ll be there to help you, every step of the way. Right now…your guilt is eating you up inside, isn’t it Sophia-san?”

In a fit, she hit my chest in a sorry attempt to punish me. It was soft and a tad cute as her small hands thumped on me. I had that coming as I grabbed her hands in mine, stopping her timid assault. 

“…Taylor-sensei told me something very important, Sophia-san, and I think it would help you …”

Now we searched one another as I asked her a valuable question, one that helped me conclude my own feelings recently…

 

“Who are you willing to hurt…for your Onee-chan to be happy, Sophia-san?”

She looked at me bewildered, for good reason.

“Who are you willing to hurt…to show Linda-san that you love her…even if it isn’t in the same way she loves you?”

Calmly, she looked away.

“Who am I willing…to hurt, Madoka-san?”

 

 

This question wasn’t an easy one for her, and I knew it. It wasn’t easy for me to answer at first, but as time went on, it became clear…I wasn’t willing to hurt Hana-chan and mom for the sake of being with Mari-san. I…wasn’t strong enough to risk the pain it would have been for me to run away with Mari-san…love her and not care about all she did in order to make the family we have today.

Now, Sophia-san would have to wonder…what will she sacrifice for the sake of Linda to be happy? As I thought…Linda is on a road to self-destruction. But that doesn’t mean that Sophia-san could never develop feelings for her in that way too…

But would she be willing to hurt Eleanor or her parents for the sake of doing this? Or maybe…would she be willing to break her sisters’ heart to the point that she gives up altogether?

“…I can’t keep running from Linda…can I, Madoka-san?”

She finally let go of me as she noticed this. Her mouth jawed as she nodded…

“I’ll need time to think. “

That’s when she turned back to me and said something I wasn’t expecting…

“Madoka-san…”

Serenely, she called me out.

“…You didn’t mock me…or laugh…or even say anything bad about me…despite how horrible I am.”

Her honest self came out as she said…

“Would you stay by me…and help me explore what I need to do, M-Madoka-san?”

Without a word, she touched my hand again. This time it wasn’t brash, it was gentle.

“I…I need your help. I…just want my Onee-chan to be happy…but I don’t know what to do.”

“…We’ll figure that out together. I’m her partner, remember, Sophia-san?”

For a moment she paused. But suddenly...a tender smile came on her before confessing something to me...

 

“Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Madoka. You are truly…someone irreplaceable to me.”

 

 

This wasn’t the brash side to her…this was the honest side that I was certain only a few had ever seen. Sophia-san mentioned that Okabe-san reminded her of her old friend. That’s the reason why she confided in her. Maybe she hoped that Okabe might lead her in the right direction…

But that was a mistake…So, she fought alone for all this time…and finally, she opened up again to me…I’ll make sure that this doesn’t end in failure…But I’m not sure how…and that’s okay.

 

Because together we will find a way for both of them to be happy….

 

 

 

 

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