Chapter 160: SS – Are You Okay?

 

Mihara Yuko’s Perspective

 

"Goodnight, mom."

“Ah, Yuko… before you go to bed, can I ask you something?”

"Hm? What is it, mom?"

“You seem happier than usual. Did something change at school?”

I thought about it… everything that's changed since the start of this year… I've… made more friends, and it all started when I met… Madoka-chan again. I didn’t want mom to notice my cheeks turning red or my flustered emotions. So, I pushed my head down and looked away.

“Ah… I’ve just been… having more fun at school.”

She giggled.

"If you say so, sweetie. I'll see you in the morning, Yuko."

With a sharp nod, I rushed to my room. Above my bed was a bunch of pictures. They were from when we all went to karaoke the other day. It made me smile looking at them. 

"That was fun…."

I whispered. After getting undressed, I sat in bed and looked at the ceiling. 

"It's strange…."

As I searched the ceiling in my room, a flood of emotions raced through my heart. When I was in middle school… I had no friends… I had… nobody. I began thinking about those days back in middle school...

 

One day in the morning, my parents were talking harshly about my grandma. I had enough and I screamed at them for her sake before I ran out the door. 

I remembered being in tears up until I ran to the school gates. I was tired, panting heavily, and just… wanted to get away from my parents for a day…

But no matter how I felt about the entire situation, I would have to go home and see them eventually. The school was just a temporary escape from the differences I had with my parents.

“…What am I going to do?”

With my head down, looking to the floor, I walked to my class. I knew when I went home that day that I'd be scolded for yelling at them. They were calling my phone all day, and I ignored them… not wanting to talk about what I said to them.

The last bell rang, and I was shaking… I didn't want to go home. So instead, I frantically paced around the school. When I entered the club side of the school, the banging of basketballs resonated in my ears. Curiously, I peeked in to see the basketball team doing their training. The bleachers were empty.

"… Maybe I can sit down and think?"

I thought about it. This was a place with people, so I wouldn't be alone, but nobody would bother me because they were all practicing. Silently, I strolled inside, made my way to the side of the wall, and reached the end seats of the bleachers. 

“Over here! I said, over here!”

They seemed to be in the middle of a game against each other. Quietly, I watched the basketball team race around like gerbils. After about ten minutes or so, I could see who the better players on the team were. There was a black-haired girl with dark skin, likely a foreigner from another country. When they called her, they would say, "captain," so I assumed she was the “Captain” in the team.

But then another girl with short brown hair down to her neck seemed to be… worlds better than the captain. When she got the ball, nobody could catch her. She was fearsome and dominated the stage. I… found it a little fun to watch her. 

“Madoka’s going to score again!”

A teammate shouted from the other side of the court.

"How can you keep getting crossed by Nakagawa-san?!”

The skilled player avoided the people guarding her. She wasn’t as tall as the others, but she made up for it by being agile. She would jump high and hover in the air like the gods gave her wings. This girl was no doubt the best player on the basketball team…

And her name was…

“Nakagawa Madoka-san?”

That was the first time I uttered her name. 

Before I knew it, two hours flew by, and all the girls were starting to pack up and leave. However, that brown-haired girl… Nakagawa-san… was still running around. She kept shooting the basketball from crazy places and making it in the hoop. I was awestruck by her abilities. 

“Are you staying late again, Madoka?”

The “captain” asked. 

"Yeah, I have to keep pushing it if I want to get that scholarship. It'll seriously help out my mom…."

“You’re such a good kid like everyone else says.”

“Good kid? Is that what you guys think I am? Do you guys call me that behind my back?”

She complained as her "captain" teased her. She ran off, and Nakagawa-san continued her training. She had the stamina to keep going. She was still running around after nearly three hours and that impressed me.

“Oh, you’re still in here?”

I almost screamed when she called me out. My heart began to race as she bounced her way over to me. 

“Eh… A-Am I not allowed in here?”

Nakagawa-san wiped off the top of her forehead. Her skin was shiny due to the sweat and she smelled sweet to my nose. After taking a sip of water, she shook her head from side to side. 

“Oh, no… anyone is allowed in here. It’s just strange to see someone watch practice for three hours.”

This girl was tall as she towered over me. I felt like she could squash me like a bug… then go on to make 100 points before calling it a day. 

“Do you like basketball?”

But then Nakagawa-san showed me a smile that washed away my unfounded fears. With her hand behind her back, she asked. 

“… Not really.”

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I quietly answered.

“Then why are you here of all places?”

She asked.

“… I don’t know.”

I answered hesitantly.

I put my head down. I knew why I was here… it’s because I didn’t want to be “there.” I didn’t want to hear that constant abuse about my grandma from my parents. I didn’t want to go home and be scolded for lashing out at them that morning…

I… just wanted to vanish and not deal with all the chaos that was going on in my personal life. And what better way to do that was to hide in here… zone out and forget about the storm in my life.

“You want to play a game of basketball with me?”

Curiously, she asked. With the basketball in hand, she tossed it from one hand to another. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke. I was in my school uniform and indoor shoes. If I played in that getup… It would be strange.

“I’m joking.”

She beamed. I couldn't understand where the joke started and where it ended, though. I knew if I asked her to explain it, then it wouldn't be funny anymore. Instead of laughing, I turned to the side and hoped that she'd just leave me alone.

“I guess it wasn’t funny…."

“…”

She bounced the ball for a moment then set it down.

“What’s your name?”

Instead of continuing her practice, she sat beside me. The heat from her body resonated with me, and we weren't even touching. This girl must have been pushing herself hard during practice and I felt as though I was bothering her.

“… Mihara Yuko.”

I whispered. 

“Mihara Yuko-san… that’s a nice name. I’m Nakagawa Madoka.”

She beamed at me.

“Are you okay?”

Confused, I turned back to her. 

“What?”

“Sorry for sounding strange… I just feel like you’re a little sad… was I wrong?”

After a bit of deliberation, I found that my head was already shaking from side to side. I didn't even know this person, and I began tearing up. It was then that I realized…

That nobody in my life…

…has asked the simple question today…

 

“Are you okay?”

...And the answer to that simple question…

…was buried deep in my heart the entire day…

“…No…”

Light tears rolled down my cheeks as I pushed out that one word… That single word that hurt so bad.

“…No… I-I’m not okay...I-I'm not...”

 

 

Embarrassed, I covered my face, trying to hide my shame. I cried for a while. Nakagawa-san put her hand on my back and consoled me without saying anything. I was too ashamed to look at her. What was I going to say? I was a stranger crying my eyes out to that kind girl. After a while, I opened my eyes…

…revealing the ceiling of my room. My cheeks were wet as if I was warped back to that day in the past for a moment. I could still feel Madoka-chan’s hand rubbing my back. It… was strange. 

“…Madoka...”

I held my pillow in my arms as I wiped the tears away from my eyes…

"You helped me… so much…."

I bit my lip.

"But I feel so bad… for what I did to you…."

 

No matter how bright my days have been lately, the looming guilt still lingered within me.

"Please… please forgive me when I finally tell you… what happened between us..."

I begged. Eventually, I fell back to sleep with tears rolling down my cheeks.

 

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