Chapter 190: Ch.40 Bonus Chapter – In the Days Before My Feelings (3/3)

 

“Do you have any of these fruits in the refrigerator, Madoka-san?”

I asked. Madoka-san perked up and nodded.

"Ah, we have peaches, pears, grapes, and kiwi. But I don't have strawberries or oranges…."

She tapered off with the last bit of information.

“I have an idea.”

I said as I stood up from the couch and walked into her room.

“Eh?! Where are you going?!”

She complained, but I ignored her as I looked in her clothing. Then, I realized that Madoka-san… has a lot of striped, blue underwear for some reason. Could it be that this was her favorite kind?

“Focus…”

I told myself. Eventually, I found what I was looking for. It was a scarf. With this in hand, I made my way out the door.

“What are you doing with that, Koda-san?”

She was confused as I walked behind her.

“What, are you going to strangle me like that killer in Born Free?”

“That’s not funny, Madoka-san.”

I knocked her on the head. Surprisingly, she giggled, having too much fun apparently. With a sigh, Madoka-san… confessed.

“Don’t worry… I trust you, Koda-san. Do what you need to do.”

Her voice was tender… and ever so soft. I had to strain my ears just to catch that last bit. I couldn't deny that Madoka-san was affecting me at times too.

As she sat there patiently, I walked behind her and brought the scarf across her face. She closed her eyes, seeming to understand just what I planned to do. I wrapped it around her eyes and tied it. I didn't make it too tight, just enough that if she wanted to cheat, I'd know.

“What now?”

She asked as I made my way to the kitchen. I took out all the fruit we had on the homework exercise and brought it back to the table. With a plop, I sat back on the couch.

"Oh?! You scared me, Koda-san! Don’t do that.”

Again, she complained. Madoka-san… loved to complain a lot, and it honestly made me want to tease her more.

“Sorry, Madoka-san.”

I said… but I wasn't sorry. Madoka-san was too cute like this, and the devil inside me wasn't planning to stop any time soon.

“Alright, I’ll say a fruit’s name in English and then let you take a bite of it. After we go through all of them, we’ll do it in reverse.”

I put one finger up… but she couldn't see it as it was in vain.

"You'll taste the fruit, then tell me about its name in English. When you start associating the names with real things, it’ll help make things easier.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun… but also a lot of work.”

“Shut up.”

I bit back, causing Madoka-san to laugh.

"Say, ah…”

“Naaahhh”

Rebelliously, she opened her mouth. Her small tongue stuck out as she turned her head to the side. It reminded me of a bird waiting for her mother to feed her. How innocently Madoka-san followed my orders as I brought a grape to her lips.

 

 

[Grape.]

I said in English as she took it from me. She bit down on it, spun her head around for a bit like a dog then finally chewed it. It was fun watching her do this.

[Grape.]

She murmured. Gently, I brought out the following fruit and repeated the pattern for a while. Madoka-san would still be rebellious, but I could tell that she was having a lot of fun.

After that was over, we were on the version where I'd give her the fruit, and she'd tell me what it was.

"Alright, the first fruit."

I gave her a slice of pear. She chewed it and shouted back at me once she was done.

[Grapu!]

“Wrong. We just went through this.”

"Eh?! I was sure that was right, Koda-san… Let me think…."

She pondered for a bit. Then it all came together like a light clicked on in that cute head of hers.

[Pear!]

Madoka-san cried enthusiastically.

“Yes, that’s right!”

“Honestly… I just forgot what the word was. I like the sound of [Grapu] though, so I said that."

I… found myself putting my hand on her head and petting that soft hair of hers. Madoka-san shot up, surprised as she looked away from me. However, she was still blindfolded as she did this.

“Didn’t I tell you… not to just suddenly touch me, Koda-san.”

Her legs squirmed together as her feet kicked about. At this time, I just chalked it up to a young girl being overly excited. But that wasn’t true… Madoka-san was experiencing all kinds of emotions that I'm sure she didn't even understand. I was there, doing my best to keep her company and not thinking of it too much. She was young and around the age that I had Hana at. But unlike me, she had her entire life ahead of her.

And at that time my feelings for her were nothing like today.

All I wanted was to help stave off her loneliness and make sure she was happy. 

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"Do you think this game is helping you out, Madoka-san?"

"Actually, yeah I think it is helpful."

She smiled brightly at me through her blindfold. We played this game for a long time before I eventually took off her blindfold. That day, Madoka-san didn't confess to me. It would be a few months before that actually happened.

There we sat for hours chatting about clothing and fashion. Madoka was always into scandals, so I would give insight into how the celebrities would probably go about it legally with my political background.

At that time… I was someone for Madoka-san to look up to.

I… was happy to be that “perfect person” for her. My flaws didn't show, and… that might have been why she fell in love with me in the first place…

 

---

 

When I opened my eyes, the oil was hot enough for me to cook an egg on. So, I tipped my bowl into the pan, and it instantly began to fry perfectly. I’ve done this so many times in the past that cooking a balanced breakfast was like breathing air. It just came naturally.

 

 

“Where did I go wrong?”

I whispered as I continued making breakfast for our family of three… not four.

“Are you making omelets, mom?”

Excitedly, Hana asked as she walked behind me. This was the first time I'd ever seen her happy about food as I tilted my head at her.

“Yeah, are you going to finish it all?”

She shook her head.

“No. I was just thinking that Onee-chan loves your breakfast since you started cooking again.”

She sat at the table.

“Yeah, she did, didn’t she?”

That gaping hole in my chest was growing larger by the second. I thought about Madoka-san’s face as she took each bite.

“Hana…”

I whispered, hoping she couldn't hear me. But she spoke up, and it caused my heart to drop.

"What is it, mom?"

I turned to see her feet kicking about aimlessly.

“When I went over to Ayumi’s place to check in on Madoka occasionally… we… ah… we would cook so she’d have dinner.”

 

 

Hana turned to me silently. I think she realized something important, and it made me a tad apprehensive about continuing. I… never talked much about my alone time with Madoka-san. It felt as though that world of ours… was just for us, and exposing that would break the fairytale it was.

As I looked back at that time, I'm sure I had over-glorified the events as my memory faded slightly here and there… But I wanted to make sure that Hana knew I wanted to… open my heart to her and tell her… why all this happened.

“You two would cook together?"

Hana asked as she perked up. I scratched my cheek in embarrassment. It was strange, the idea of talking about this was causing me a bit of anxiety.

"Well, first, she always needed help with English. Since I'm basically fluent in it, I helped her a lot."

I chuckled, but it was dry and tasteless. My fake smile was coming back as I tried to mask my discomfort. I wanted to... talk about Madoka-san, but I felt equally guilty about it too.

But... I pushed past the negative feelings as I thought more deeply about the person I... love.

"I...made up all kinds of games for Madoka-san to play to learn English… but she was hopeless."

“…”

Hana just sat there silently as I continued.

"Then after we finished her homework… normally we just chatted, and if she was hungry, I'd make her something simple… like this breakfast."

I sat down the omelet I finished for her.

“Maybe… maybe one day I can teach you how to make this so easily too.”

She looked at her plate. I put a dumb ketchup smile on the meal as it stared her in the face. Slowly, she turned her head and looked up at me. My smile was forged as I looked back at her.

“That… sounds like a lovely memory, mom.”

But Hana gave me an honest smile. It wasn't judging. It was… understanding, which made my heart ache all the more. I… felt like I didn't deserve that kind of love from her.

“Mom… could you tell me more about Onee-chan… and you eventually?”

I had a lot of stories to tell her that she didn’t know about. There was a brand-new world for me to explain to Hana… and I wanted her to be a part of it.

“Yeah… I…. I want you to know why I fell in love with your Onee-chan, Hana.”

I said it. I opened the bridge to my heart as we both sat down at the table. I wasn’t ready to go into everything right at the moment… but this would be the start of my change. I… couldn’t wait any longer for someone to force my feelings out of me.

Ayumi wasn’t coming out for breakfast… I figured as much. But soon, we’ll have to go out together and speak about all of this. I… didn’t want to let Madoka-san down anymore.

 

"This is delicious, mom. Thank you."

“You’re welcome, Hana.”

We didn't speak much after that. But it wasn't like the time when I went out with Hana to the ice cream shop.

It felt like Hana and I were getting closer minute by minute, day by day.

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