Chapter 90: Ch.22: Determination (5/5)

 

 

Once I stepped inside the home, Mari-san was sitting on the couch typing away on her keyboard. She turned towards me the moment I touched the rails of the steps.

“Ah, welcome back, Madoka-san.”

Instead of going right upstairs as I planned, I walked over and stood at the end of the sofa.

“Are you working, Mari-san? Sorry...I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

“No, not at all. You could never disturb me, Madoka-san.” 

She turned the laptop my way. A large document full of text was there. As she scrolled down on the mouse it kept going...endlessly.

“Do you remember Yashiro?”

I thought back to that childish girl with that strange personality. The one we visited together during Mari-san errands. The one who writes the popular book, The Ash of the Fallen.

 

 

“Oh, what about her?”

“This is the rough draft of her series, The Ash of the Fallen. Well...it’s a different volume.”

She giggled.

“Perks of the job, I get to read it first. But the downside is I have to deal with all the corrections and inconsistencies.”

She shrugged. 

“And not only that, she sent this to my boss the day we left for the onsen. Risa kept it a secret from me. "

She scratched her dark hair gently.

"That idiot, Yashiro, gave me a massive workload as soon as I got back home. I opened my email and an entire book stared at me...”

“Sucks, Mari-san.”

I giggled as I tilted my head at her.

“Geez, you're a big help.”

She whined as the conversation died down. 

“...How’s mom, Mari-san?”

“Huh?”

She tilted her head as she looked at me. Then as if to check in on her she turned towards her room.

“She’s...thinking a lot about things too I guess.”

“Like what?”

“...I think she’s worried about what I want to talk to her about. It’s that or she has a bit on her mind too.”

That’s when she looked back at the computer and pursed her lips.

“I screwed up Madoka-san...”

“That’s not true Mari-san. You did everything for me, and I want to properly thank you for that.”

That’s when she gazed up at me. Her gem eyes shined as she nodded at me.

“I...want to change Madoka-san.”

“Hm?”

“I want to stop lying to everyone. I want to stop being afraid to express my feelings. I want to show Ayumi and Hana that I do love them dearly...”

With a shake of her head, she confessed.

“And I want to show you that I love you too. So... would you please help me change?”

This was a confession only to be tailored by Mari-san. The woman who also struggles with what I do. It’s hard for her to express her feelings, but together I’m sure we can break through all the pain we made in this family. So I reached out my hand and touched hers.

“Yes, we’ll change together, Mari-san.”

 

 

That’s when she brought out an honest smile. Mari-san would be the partner I’ll need even though just being around her still hurts. How strange it felt knowing that I’ll grow stronger if I work together with the person I’m trying to distance myself from.

“Get some rest. I’m going to be up late tonight.”

She sighed as she released her hand from mine.

“Don’t stay up too late.”

“You can blame dumb Saitou-bucho for this too.”

She complained like a child throwing a temper tantrum. 

“Oh, what did Saitou-san do?”

“She tossed this on me this late at night on purpose."

She puffed her cheeks in annoyance.

"That way I couldn’t slack off tomorrow. That woman...is wicked.”

Annoyed, she kicked her feet up and down. How funny that was seeing Mari-san as childish as always. 

“Next time I serve her I’ll give her a mean look just for you.”

“Oh, you’d do that for me Madoka-san?”

“Sure Mari-san.”

We both giggled.

“Good night, Mari-san.”

“Night.”

Despite me saying that I wasn’t going right to bed. Once I got undressed I laid on my bed and took out my phone. A message from my partner asking to chat was on the front notice icon. So, I clicked her name and connected via face chat.

“Hey, you.”

“Hey, Taylor-sensei.”

 

 

Lying in bed I searched Taylor-sensei expressions through the phone. This time she was wearing something less revealing. Not in her cute lingerie anymore, she actually had on a white shirt and yoga pants. Her hair was tied up in two long ponytails now. But what took me back were the large round glasses on her face.

“You wear glasses?”

She giggled as she rolled about on the bed. I couldn’t lie, that was far more adorable than I ever imagined coming from Taylor-sensei.

“They’re fake!”

She admitted. I knew this was a style the kids these days thought was cute, but I never expected Taylor-sensei to follow suit.

“Ah…why do you have fake glasses?”

“Well, to go incognito when I have to of course!”

“Incognito?”

I couldn’t fathom why she was being so cryptic.  But then it just came to me out of thin air. I’ve always been quick on the uptake, I’d like to believe, so this was a testament to that.

“…Are you planning to meet with…Sophia-san?”

With a somber sigh, she closed her eyes and removed her glasses.

 

 

But then…she bit the ends of them and that alone made my heart throb a tad. Like she was a professor about to give me private lessons or something. I know that sounded weird but that’s the only comparison I could give.

“Sadly not. I…haven’t had the chance to speak with Sophia lately. Did you know…that they blocked my number from her phone?”

“They did what?”

She nodded slightly.

“Occasionally I would text her. But…I think Eleanor found out and mentioned it to father.”

Dejectedly, she slumped her shoulders.

“Who is Eleanor?”

A new name filtered in the conversation. Taylor-sensei shrugged as she confessed.

“Eleanor is my ex-boyfriends’ little sister. She’s the parental figure for Sophia right now. Her being in Japan and all.”

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“I…don’t think I’ve ever met her. But…this Eleanor cut your only contact with Sophia-san?”

She nodded as she sighed sharply.

“But I’m sure it wasn’t her fault. Father has been oppressive regarding anyone who associates with us. So, if she would have been caught allowing us to message one another…She’d likely be fired and replaced.”

Taylor-sensei looked away from the camera as she sighed again.

“I don’t blame her. Eleanor has her own health problems. She needs this job.”

I didn’t know what to say. Because I never met this Eleanor, I wouldn’t be able to say much at all about her. So, I just nodded helplessly.

“It’s getting harder for you to talk with Sophia-san lately.”

“…I’ll figure something out. I…at least wish I could email her a good night. I like the idea of me being the last person on her mind, you know?”

Taylor-sensei sounded like a schoolgirl. Nothing like the mature air she exudes, and that’s fine with me. How I wish all her dreams and aspirations would come true.

“But enough about me…what about you? You haven’t been at school for a few days.”

“Yeah, I’ll be back tomorrow…I was on a family trip.”

I sighed. Thinking about how I ended that wonderful trip…the night Mari-san and I confessed all of our pent-up feelings for one another. How…I decided that it would be best if we didn’t pursue one another any longer.

“Something happened…Taylor-sensei.”

“…You sound a bit down. I suspected as much. Is…everything okay?”

With a smile as bright as I could, I shook my head from side to side.

“I confessed to Mari-san…during my family trip to the onsen.”

Her eyes went wide as she bit the bottom of her lip.

“I see…and…I suspect it didn’t go well?”

“…Actually, it went perfectly. Mari-san…told me she was in love with me too.”

“Is that right?”

Surprised, she sat up on her bed.

“If that’s what happened…then what else happened?”

I cleared my throat as I looked about my room. Confirming that I was alone I continued…

“But…but…I…no, we decided that it would be best to move on from each other.”

“Oh, Nakagawa-san.”

 

 

“I…I kissed her. We spent such a wonderful time together. Admitting our feelings and…doing our best to move on. I…I couldn’t bring myself to hurt this family for my own happiness, Taylor-sensei.”

“…Nakagawa-san, I’m sorry to hear that…”

“No…I think Mari-san and mom belong together…And…I think that alone will make me happy.”

She looked downcast as she spoke.

“…You might be stronger than me.”

She admitted to my surprise.

“I…don’t think I have the willpower to accept that right now. Maybe in the future, but right now…I doubt I’d be able to do what you did.”

She sighed.

“Hey…can I chat with you for longer tonight, Taylor-sensei? I…want to catch up with you. I…want to explore my feelings with you.”

I noticed one thing since my time with Mari-san. Speaking how I felt was becoming easier. Maybe because my heart had reached a point in time that it hurt too much for me to bear. Probably, I was becoming stronger by enduring these hardships. If that was the case…then I needed to push forwards and not back down now.

She giggled that cutesy laugh. Despite being so mature, Taylor-sensei sometimes reminded me of a kid. But her air of maturity didn’t connect with Saitou-san's. 

 

 

They were certainly two different animals. Saitou-san reminded me of a fierce lion that would take me in her arms and show me the world without fear. Taylor-sensei however reminded me of a less aggressive panda that would coddle me and nurture me with its love. They were certainly…good people.

“Sure. I’d like to ask you a few things. Firstly, are you going anywhere for Christmas?”

Why was everyone asking this question today? Well, unlike Saitou-san, Taylor-sensei had her sights set on someone else. So, I could confidently say it without any problems.

“No. I’ll likely be at home…as Mari-san and Mom go on a date.”

“Nakagawa-san…”

“No…I’ve been thinking about this since my time with Mari-san. I…want to make sure they have a wonderful time on Christmas with each other.”

I touched my necklace timidly. It reminded me of the day in the Red Roses where she told me everything about herself. How…that memory wouldn’t stop bringing in these feelings I needed to let go of.

“S…Sorry…It’s hard trying to let this go of her, Taylor-sensei.”

Certainly, it was difficult for me to just forget about everything. I…want mom to be happy. And I want Mari-san to be happy too. And…I do believe they will be happiest together.

“Sorry…that was a rude question, Nakagawa-san.”

“No, what did you want to ask?”

She sighed.

“I have a gift for Sophia…and I want her to have it on Christmas…as a…lovers’ gift. A…romantic gift.”

She smiled brightly. If my love for Mari-san couldn’t be founded…I hope that my partner could be.

“We’ll figure out a way to get you both together for the holiday.”

She chuckled warily.

“Nakagawa-san sounds like she’ll be my cupid.”

Taylor-sensei teased.

“Only if Sophia agrees though. If she does…I wouldn’t mind being your matchmaker.”

I teased back. It was becoming natural talking about all this mushy stuff with Taylor-sensei. It’s like we both could open our hearts and express our love openly. I…felt safe when talking with her.

“That’s fair.”

I know Sophia might not feel the same. So, I won’t force those feelings on her. That’s not my job. I’m here to support Taylor-sensei…to support both of them. They’ll have to come to their own conclusions about one another when it’s all said and done. And like I promised Sophia-san. If the day comes and Taylor-sensei is in pain…I’ll be there for her.

“Nakagawa Madoka-san…”

“Yes?”

“…I want you to find happiness one day, too.”

“Hm?”

“Things may not have worked out with your love for your stepmother, Mari-san but…don’t lose out on hope for love.”

 

 

“Taylor-sensei…”

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea, despite how cliché that sounds.”

“…But there’s only one Mari-san.”

 

Dejectedly, I spoke. But as soon as that escaped my mouth, I took it back by speaking up…

“You’re right, Taylor-sensei. I…just need time before I start looking. Right now…I just want to change. Better myself, you know?”

“That’s fair, Nakagawa-san.”

We both giggled. Looking closer at her now…she has the pinkest lips I’ve ever seen. I wonder if her lips were naturally like this or could that just be the fade of her lip gloss.

But regardless of that…she was there for me at an emotional point in my life. So, I’ll do the same for her. It seemed as though we both wished for a happy ending for each other.

 

“Goodnight, Nakagawa-san.”

“Let’s chat tomorrow, Taylor-sensei.”

“I would love that…”

 

We said our goodbyes then went to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

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