Chapter 234: Ch.49 – For Me and Only Me (1/4)

 

 

The Christmas present I've worked hard for these past months was within my hands. And in front of me was the reason why I worked hard to begin with.

Mari-san stood there as if she’d frozen in the winter snowstorm. Unsure how to process my present, she looked conflicted and maybe even guilty that she had nothing to give me. But that wasn’t true; I couldn't measure the number of gifts she’d given me since I woke up. This was just my thanks for everything she’s done for me.

Takade-san mentioned I should get a gift for both Mom and Mari-san…. But I couldn't do that when searching for a gift this special. I was selfish and wanted to return the love that Mari-san gave me with my necklace…

I'm horrible… I knew that, but it made me smile, picking out what I wanted to give Mari-san.

“Madoka-san…”

Mari-san took hold of her gift and held it close to her chest. That fake smile she showed Risa-san, her boss, faded away, and what revealed itself was a painful one full of conflict and hurt but real, genuine feelings.

 

 

"Oh… I didn't… I didn't buy you anything, though. You didn’t think you had to give me a gift for Christmas, did you, Madoka-san?”

I shook my head.

“No… this… was something I’ve wanted to do for a while now, Mari-san. So… please, open it?”

The snowflakes washed over us gently as Mari-san opened the small box. I've seen many emotions in Mari-san since I woke up. It was always a treat, opening her emotions that she normally kept locked away. But once she saw the gift hand, her eyes twinkled and she gasped.   

“Oh…”

Her face turned bright red, and an air of amazement took over her.

“Oh… oh, Madoka-san… it’s so beautiful.”

It was a white bracelet made of pearls that beautifully reflected off the dazzling snow around us. This present took me a while to find. I was in the stores constantly trying to pick out the right one. A Magenta brand bracelet that I knew she'd love. The flash sale at the end of the year was a godsend, and the expression on her face was one I was chasing.

I patted myself on the back and whispered, good job, Madoka. Even if we couldn't be together romantically, wouldn't it be wonderful to always see her smile like this?

“Mon Amour…”

Mari-san whispered.

“Hm?”

I put my finger to my lip and tilted my head.

There was a beautifully written phrase on the silver connection piece that I couldn't make out, if I had to be honest. I assumed it was in French though, and in hindsight, I didn't even think to ask the cashier what it meant. It also being in cursive, it was a bit too challenging for me to look up online, so, I just… went with it and bought the gift. Again, my lack of knowledge about things outside of Japan was profound.

“Mon Amour… I-Is that what it says Mari-san? I… I didn’t…”

I put my hands up as if I was caught red handed. I wasn't dumb enough with my language barrier to not know what that meant, though. I've watched enough over-dramatized love stories to not put the pieces together.

 

Simply put, this item that sparkled in her hand was saying:

Mari-san, my love…

 

Words I told myself that I couldn’t say again yet here I was, saying it in a gift on Christmas, the most romantic holiday of the year. Affectionately, Mari-san took it out of the box and… put her new treasure around her wrist. With the snap… the pearl bracelet clicked, as if it connected with the wires in her heart.

Mari-san giggled. With a smile so bright, she giggled like a high school girl who just received a love letter in her shoe locker. Mari-san held it up in the air and pulled down her sleeve, showing her present to the world.

“Ahh…”

 

 

Mari-san gazed at me with her mouth parted. She looked up at me with… a blush so fierce that the heat made me blush too. I'd never seen Mari-san look so enamored before. Mari-san looked a tad childlike, cute and embarrassed all at the same time.

 

“H-how does it look?”

My adorable Mari-san asked.

"Wonderful... you look wonderful with that smile, Mari-san."

I confessed.

With her hands behind her back, Mari-san teased back...

"That's... all I've ever wanted to hear from you... Madoka-san."

 

 

Flustered, Mari-san tried to act brave. Stupidly, she flashed a pose, only one that an idiot like Mari-san could. With one hand on her hip, and the other showing off her new jewelry, I couldn't help but giggle, turning to the side. We both started to laugh, breaking the hot tension in one fell swoop.

“I love it, Madoka-san… thank you.”

“Yay… I just really wanted to see you happy, Mari-san.”

She stopped her words, parted her lips and tilted her head.

“Huh, just to make me smile?”

Her eyes softened as Mari-san admired her new present.

I sighed.

“I was conflicted if I should get you a gift or not, Mari-san. I… didn’t want to mess with you as you and my mom talked about your relationship.”

My voice started shaking as the truth of my actions came out.

“But in the end I decided that I just wanted to see you smile. A-And that was enough for me to throw caution to the wind. I’m… glad I could see you happy for a little bit.”

Mari-san touched her gift endearingly.

“You just… wanted to see me smile? That’s all you wanted, Madoka-san?”

She closed her eyes and whispered to herself.

“That kind of thing… makes me so happy.”

Mari-san confessed, with a blush on her face. Her eyes were wide, as if I gave her the shock of her life. I wasn't sure what was going through her mind, but Mari-san spoke up as if a rush of feelings soared within her.

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"Madoka-san, I still have more to talk to Ayumi about. She wanted to stop for the day and take a break, leave things unresolved for a while longer…."

She shook her head, shaking off the loose snowflakes caught in her crow colored hair.

"But no, we can't hold things off much longer. You reminded me why I'm telling the truth, and I can't let this chance I have get away from me that easily."

She stood tall, holding her wrist with the bracelet and looked me straight in the eyes.

“There’s a lot of revelations that’s come up… but until I have all the facts, wait for me to explain everything, alright?”

She begged.

“Ah… sure, Mari-san.”

“But I want you to know one thing before I go, Madoka-san. What happened in the past wasn’t your fault at all. I… I know for a fact that you did everything right. Remember that!”

Everything right? That resonated with me as if I'd been liberated of something I was unsure of. Breaking my inner monologue, our hands tangled together as Mari-san took mine in hers. They were hot, and it went to show me the passion behind her words seemingly flared up.

“Madoka, please tell Hana-chan to sleep at Auburn-san’s place with you tonight. I… I can’t leave things how it is just yet. Y-You…. You woke me up to that.”

"Oh… sure, that's fine. Yeah, I'll tell Hana-chan to have a sleepover with me. I'm sure... she'll understand, Mari-san."

Holding her bracelet as if it would fly away if she let go, she spoke her heart. With a bright smile, Mari-san concluded.

“Madoka-san, It’s scary opening up, but you really are the motivation I needed today to keep pushing. Like always, thank you.”

Mari-san let go of my hands, wrapped her arms around my back, and held me tight. The sudden explosion of warmth brought me back to that moonlit night. The night that was supposed to be only between Mari and Madoka… but still sparked out at times like these.

“M-Mari-san?”

Her breath touched my ear…

“Even if we can’t be together…”

Mari-san whispered…

“Mon amour, I love you too, Madoka…”

“M-Mari…”

 

 

Without waiting for my response, Mari-san let go, waved to me, then raced back to her car, and got inside. Hana-chan stepped out the door with her bags in hand, likely watching us from the door window the entire time. Can't say I wasn’t surprised by that, either.

“Huh? Where’s mom going, Onee-chan?”

“…”

Even though I didn't want to admit it, hearing those words brightened the darkness in my heart. As if a breakthrough for Mom was coming soon, I smiled as I watched her drive away...

“Mari-san is… going to take care of more business, Hana-chan. She said you’re going to sleep over with me tonight. Is that alright with you?”

My little sister took my hand. I could feel her small hands trembling, and I doubt it was from the cold.

"She wants to talk with Mom more, huh? Yeah… I figured they wouldn't be done talking by the time our party ended."

Hana-chan said.

"Yeah. Mari-san told me that whatever happens… it's their choice, okay?"

"I hope they can settle things, Onee-chan…."

I tightened my grip on her delicate hands.

“Yeah… me too.”

We watched Mari-san's car disappear in the constant snow for a while. Once it faded, I bent down, held my little flower's shoulder, and looked Hana-chan in the eyes.

"Hana… our family is changing, and there's no denying that. But… that might not be a bad thing. It might hurt us, and things might get harder from here on out, but we have to keep fighting, alright?"

Standing tall, my little sister nodded again like a stern, hardened military woman.

“O-Okay, Onee-san.”

Hana-chan’s fist clenched as she spoke up in a whisper.

"B-But no matter what happens, you'll always be my Onee-san, right Madoka-chan? And Ayumi-san will always be dear to me… right? E-Even if we're separated… we won't forget each other?"

“Oh… Hana.”

I wiped the loose tears coming from her eyes. The girl who fought day in and out for the world to accept her family, only for all the battles to cultivate into one she couldn't win. I couldn't promise her things regarding my mom, but I nodded to give her peace of mind.

“You’ll always be my little sister. I can’t ever go back to being a single child.”

I tried to smile… but my lips were quivering too.

"Y-You're stuck with me for life, Hana-chan. N-No matter what happens to our family, S-Sisters forever, okay?"

With tears in her eyes, she set her bags down on the snow and held me close. Hana-chan didn't cry out loud, but I could tell she was scared of the family she fought for… ceasing to exist. And the guilt I felt was immense because of that. If I never had woken up, would Hana-chan be happy?

No, I couldn’t think like that.

Honestly, I had no idea what I wanted this family to become in the future… nor did I have any idea how to make it into something we all could be happy with. Maybe this was the final line that would shatter the false world we made. The final stretch that would break the Nakagawas and Kodas from each other.

But like Risa-san mentioned, this was just a journey to the destination. So, I had to be strong for everyone. My friends taught me in these last few weeks a powerful lesson…

No matter what changes, we must press forward for a future we all love.

"L-Let's go get more cake before we leave. Then we can read the new volume I bought for you together tonight, okay, Hana-chan?"

I tried to change the mood… but my own tears stopped me from making the moment all the happier. But Hana-chan seemed to accept that. She nodded sharply.

 

"Okay, Onee-san."

Together, we made our way up the steps, back to the party.

But before we entered the cozy home, we turned to each other… and gently wiped each other’s tears from our cheeks.

It went to show me how close our bond was.

No matter what happens to our family.

 

 

 

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