Chapter 3: So I got my first kill, so what?

Previously

"Kyu~ (Appraisal)"

[Rock]

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"KYUUUU KYUUU KYUUU- (WHAT THE FU-)"

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Now

 

"Kyu~ (Appraisal)"

[Rock]

'....'

"Kyuu Kyuu (Fucking useless piece of shit skill, waste of my points)" I kick the rock and it appears to be very hard indeed...Ouch.

"Kyu Kyu? (Maybe if I use it on myself?)" I look down at my own red paw that's throbbing in pain and use appraisal on myself instead.

[Dragon]

"Kyuu Kyuu (I really am a dragon)"

"Kyu Kyu...Kyuu (That's cool...I guess)"

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"KYUUUU! (NO THE FUCK IT'S NOT!)"

"KYUU KYUU KYUUUUUUUU! (I WANT ALL MY HARD WORK BACK YOU PIECE OF SHIT GOD! GIVE ME BACK ALL MY EFFORT AND TIME, GIVE ME BACK MY FRIENDS, YOU CAN KEEP MY PARENTS, BUT GIVE ME BACK MY BEST FRIEND YOU FUCKER!!!)"

"KYU!" I vent all my frustrations with a growl that also comes out in that same fucking voice and try to breathe fire at the same time because I'm a dragon right? I should be able to do that. While trying I feel a warm sensation in my stomach that starts rising through my body until it finally comes out of my mouth.

A torrent of flames comes out of my mouth and splashes against the. wall...Dafuq? Why is it green? Why is it making the wall look like the garden of Eden? Why does it do literally no damage at all?

WHY DO MY FLAMES SPREAD FUCKING FLORAL, AM I A FUCKING GRASS DRAGON, SOME FUCKING HIPPY LIZARD? WHAT THE FUCK AM I? WHERE ARE MY FLAMES OF INCINERATION? OF ANNIHILATION, MY FLAMES THAT CAN MELT STEEL? WHY DO MY FLAMES PLANT FUCKING GRASS AND FLOWERS?

[Breath of Life LV1 has been acquired]

I stop my rant

"Kyuu? (So I am a fucking Eco dragon?)"

"Kyuu (God. Fucking. Dammit)" I sigh to myself while looking at the wall that I just turned into a painting. "Kyuu~ Kyuu~ (At least I should be able to grow some weed)" even though I was never one to try drugs, I'm considering it now, and besides, I'm trying to look on the bright side of this...who am I kidding, there's no bright side to being trapped in a cave as a dragon that literally breaths life instead of fire.

"Ribbit"

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"Kyuu?(Huh?) I turn trying to see what made that noise only to get a face full of green acid.

"KYUU! (FUCK IT HURTS!)" I start rolling around the ground trying to numb the pain, my vision is impaired so while thrashing around I bump into something, because my vision is still just a blur I have no idea what it is, and just continue to run around until I run into something again headfirst and I hear something fall to the ground.

[Skill Acid resistance LV1 acquired]

My vision starts to clear up and I can now see a green frog getting up and looking at me. Confused I tilt my head until the frog opens its mouth and spits out a green glob at me "Kyu! Kyu! (What the fuck!)" I dodge to the left and the glob lands next to me and starts sizzling.

Dafuq is that?

Acid?

Wait...Acid?!

"Kyu! Kyu! (I'M GOING TO FUCKING BITE YOUR HEAD OFF!!!) I scream out charging at the big ol bitch who is going to die within these next few minutes for trying to blind me twice.

But first I use appraisal on it.

[Elroe Frog]

'Why do I even bother'

I run at the frog who opens its mouth and spits out another blob at me, I once again dodge to the left and continue forward, once I get right up to it I bring my claws back and attempt to slice its throat, but the frog leaps back and splits out another blob of acid that hits my back.

"K-kyu! (Arggh)" I groan out in pain as the acid eats away at my fur and skin, my ears twitch and I jump back as another blob lands where I just was. Seems like my sense are much better now that I'm a dragon. I back away and slowly move around the frog staring right at it as it just waits there unmovingly for some reason. I growl in an attempt to drive it away but "Kyuu~" Need I say more?

Eventually, the frog gets tired of waiting and opens its mouth to spit at me again, and that's when I rush forward as fast as my little legs could carry me. The frog spits out the green blob and I duck under the blob and get right next to the frog, much to its surprise. I swipe at its face and it somehow jumps over my attack and lands behind me.

"Kyuu! (What the fuck!?) Confused I call out as the little shit had the audacity to bite me in the ass, its slimy gums trying to chew away at my butt and its acid saliva eating away at my fur. I try to turn around and slice its face into 3 but it keeps its mouth attached and I don't have enough range of motion to kill it, so I do the next best thing.

I grab its neck with my tail, as it's surprisingly strong, and lift it up away from my behind. "Kyuu~ Kyuu~ (Hahahahah! Victory!) I cheer as I slowly start to squeeze and strangle this fucking asshole. I was never a sadist in life, but this thing deserves a slow death.

It tries to thrash around, but it's fruitless as I keep a tight grip, its face starts going pale and its blood starts to pour out of its eyes, and then...*Crack* With a sickening crack of its bones I snap its neck and kill it.

I drop the now-dead Elore Frog and turn around to face its corpse. "Kyuu~ Kyuu~ Kyuu~ (Yare Yare daze)" I say as I look at the corpse and shake my head in disappointment, and I was about to turn around and leave when my stomach started grumbling.

I look back at the frog as my stomach grows louder.

"Kyuu (Nope)"

I try to walk away but I suddenly felt weak and my stomach growled a lot louder this time as if telling me to suck it up and eat the frog.

"Kyuu Kyu (Im not doing it)"

I once again try to walk away to a tunnel that leads to another part of the cave when suddenly the ground shakes violently and boulders fall from the ceiling and block the entrance.

"...Kyu Kyu? (...Are you fucking serious right now? The world wants me to eat that frog?)" I question and the cave shakes once again as if saying 'Yes'

*Sigh*

"Kyu (Whatever)" I relent and head back to the corpse, I open my mouth and sink my teeth into its skin and almost instantly want to throw it up on the ground. And right as I was about to a stalactite crashed into the floor right next to me.

"K-kyu Kyu (Okay, I get it Damn.)" I suck it up and just continue to eat this disgusting shit against my own will. It takes me a while and I almost regurgitate its meat a couple of times but I'm not tryna die just yet so I force it all down.

After I'm done I use appraisal on the frog remains for no reason other than to get my mind off the taste of that carcass.

[Bones]

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*Sigh*

"Kyu Kyu (I fucking hate this skill)"

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