Chapter 26: 25- The Late Night Show

"Ouuu!"

As if waking up from a bad hangover, Oscar woke to a headache. Partially because of the sudden flux of level upgrades and partially because he couldn't for the triple life of him…or was it double? He doesn't remember, nor does he care. 

His memories were in fragments. At one point, he was going on his daily endeavor to collect some cute python for pet keeping, and at another, he was running at a cloud with tons of chains weighing him down. While he glides over a sea of monsters to save many little goblin princesses… Wait! Why would he even save ugly goblin princesses out of all the things?

Shaking his head, he came back to his senses. His body convulses in pain, releasing within each pulse, reeling him groaning on the spot.

"Ack!" Standing up with shaky hands, he saw the after-effects of his recklessness done in the spur of the moment in a half-conscious, half-alive state.

More than dozen-or-so litters of goblins, scattered throughout the oval cavity of his abode can be seen in the process of waking, standing shaking, sprawling, and singing… or more like groaning in pain for losing its legs in the crash; those embedded legs in the broken walls must its own then, thought the house owner. 

Few goblins had slammed onto the pet cages, breaking a couple of them, and letting some monsters run wild in its house. While most of them ran for their life the moment they get released, only to carelessly drop dead from this height in a collective monster suicide, a few racist monsters, bearing too much hatred for their green-skinned-captor, caused havoc right after their gate gets loose enough. And the barely survived newborn goblins, get to bear the brunt of their outrage just because their skin is green… 

"Ghaaaa!"

"Gheiiiiiiii!"

"Ghuuuu!"

At one corner, a cute two-tailed squirrel chomped on an innocent goblin's ear who had just woken up. A baby frog punched another goblin to the face, knocking it out, with its boxing tongue before happily hoping for its next victim. While at another corner, a bat with a sharp beak latched to its nearest victim, drilling a hole in his skull like a bone-pecker it is. A colorful bug landed on a curious goblin's pointy nose, before abruptly releasing a foul smell leaving him gagging nonstop. And somewhere, less than a meter-long python was busy swallowing a screaming goblin alive. Engulfing to its torso, the python abruptly stopped as it ran out of length, but fret not, it has finally activated its core with its sheer will to take revenge, and so it activated the spatial storage and continued to devour. 

"Thud!"

"Tang!"

Out of nowhere, a random goblin jumped in and helped its brother out. And not because it suddenly unlocked brotherly emotions but because it gets curious, will the victim's legs survive if he smashed a boulder onto the python while it devoured? And so it came to get its answers. 

After tens of smashes and a lot of goblin's blood-curdling screams. The curious goblin finally stopped, but not because it wanted to, but because someone kicked its butt, sending it rolling on the ground. 

"Pie chan!"

Oscar shouted, horrified of seeing his pet getting beaten to death right in front of him. 

"What have they done to you…cutie Pie?" And he definitely didn't take this python as a pet, just because the name fits perfectly to him. 

The python didn't survive, nor did the goblin. The python's spatial portal abruptly gets closed on the goblin's torso when it dies. Leaving an abomination of a Goblin and Python's union behind. Embracing it, Oscar cried as the Pie-chan was the longest -living- pet he had with him, pie-chan had supported him when he was down with its cute tongue licking the air in support; not because it tried to spit at him, pie-chan had never bared its fangs against him like his other pets; not because he had pulled all its fangs before, but now pie-chan was… was no more…

"Pie-chan!" and it got killed, just because of a curious goblin's sudden impulse… 

"I will kill you!" Revealing his sharp fangs, Oscar ran after that little runt. 

"Ghe?!" Sensing the imminent danger. The murderer of pie-chan, ran circles around the 2 by 2 chaotic house. Shoving others behind, running over still struggling goblins. Pushing things in between them, the matured goblin stomped over each of them as he ran with blood in mind. Destroying what the crash landing failed to.

                                                            

"Help… somebody" 

"Eh?" Stopping in his track. Oscar turned left and right, trying to find the owner of the voice. Although, he knew it belongs to the Hob-Goblin he couldn't find him in his cave. There are only newborns running around, either from the vicious house pets or saving themselves from the cold-blooded house owner.

"I… can't hold," Came the painful voice again. 

Curious, Oscar comes out of the cave and stands at the platform before quickly noticing a pair of four digits clutching the edge of it. And a Hob-Goblin doing pull-ups at the edge of the said 30m cliff. 

"That's a nice spot you got there buddy" Peeking at him, Oscar smirked. Thinking of how long he had been hanging from here.

"Urgh!..."  Just before the Hob-Goblin loses his grip and falls to his death, at last, Oscar came like an angel and pulled him above with ease. He would be a fool for letting the opportunity to finally earn some gratitude out of this mysterious Hob-Goblin go to waste. Even though, he had the sudden impulse of pushing him down the cliff just to increase his only Lv1 skill

'The what?!' Checking the numbers again, he was astounded to see the 'Backstab' had already been leveled up not once, nor twice but four times! 

'How?' He asked himself. Then turned to the ongoing circus inside his home, counting the participants. '1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,... 9?' And ten, if he counted himself as the ring-master. 

Out of 50, only 9 goblin's survived at the end, and it's all thanks to a certain Hero's escapades throughout the run. It would instead be a miracle if he didn't get leveled up after backstabbing more than 20 newborns who had unquestionably trusted him with their lives, courtesy of the title 'Kin-Devourer'

Not to mention, in the end, he had intentionally endangered all of their lives. Whether it was out of whisperings of the fiend or not, doesn't matter to the dungeon.

"Thanks… My Prince" Coming back to his senses. Oscar glanced at the formerly unfriendly Hob-Goblin, kneeling on the ground with utter gratitude… 

'The what?' Blinking. He rubbed his eyes, but still saw the previously egoistic Hob-Goblin has become docile all of a sudden. Kneeling, gazing at him with a creepy smile of a fanboy. 

"Who's this prince again?" Frowning, he asked. Even though he could guess what's coming next. 

"You… My Prince" Came the expected answer. 

With a nod, Oscar continued to ask, remaining unperturbed by the reply. Thinking, if the Hob-goblin had gone crazy after smashing his skull with something in the crash landing?

"And why do you think so?"

"Because…" Scratching his thick-skull, the Hob-Goblin sounds oddly embarrassed "No lesser goblin… can do… what you do, My Prince" 

Of course, no goblin in the right mind would throw a stun-grenade at a 20m long snake, and then hitchhiked a ride on it. Moreover, it was indeed an achievement for a lone goblin to not get killed, either by their Idiocracy or by a random monster in passing, within an hour after separating from their tribe. Let alone building a safe house and living peacefully in a dungeon. So, it shouldn't be odd for a Hob-Goblin to praise a fellow goblin for his achievement, and to show some respect. 

But even then, Oscar felt something wasn't right with the way he worded it. Not to mention, being suddenly upgraded to the "prince" seems far too outstretched and… suspicious. And seeing the frown on him, the still respectfully kneeling Hob-Goblin hastily added with his buzzing noise of broken words, inside his head.

"I mean… no goblin… do magic… by birth… even the elders… need to bond… with holy crystals… a lesser-goblin… doing magic… is… impossible!... Only corrupt goblin… do magic… but… you-you're not!... In our… whole… Imperial History… Only… one holy soul… could do it… had done it… I-I heard it by the elders… they-they said… The Prince can do anything… even… inventing otherworldly things… is newborn's play… to him… like-like this!" 

Pointing to Oscars crudely made 'Mr.Escapinator' with a completely broken outer shell, revealing the inner mechanics of a grizzly tongue coiled with two mana stones and a Spell-Orb, the Hob-Goblin continued with an admiring buzzed voice. While "Mr.Prince" observed the fanboy with an undefinable look, his hands crossed at some point, his thoughts unknown.

"Even our artificers… would need… a seniors guidance… to make something… like this… My Prince, you're but a lesse-newborn… with no elder guidance and… these things" 

Taking a peek at his home: the weirdly artistically hanging heads, linearly aligned broken cages for pet keeping, and a miraculously surviving blood-soaked workshop with countless bone tools and intestines as decorations- all indicating of a civilized psycho living in it. The Hob-Goblin lowered his head.

"I… I would be a fool… to not notice… your-your brilliance… My Prince… we've been waiting… for countless years… caged in this dungeon… with nothing, but… a prophecy… told by our first… Supreme Elder… and the last words… 'I will return'… written in history… spoken by You… My Prince… we-we've been waiting… since then… hoping… for your return… to release us… from this Cage!… following the prophecy… we send countless… to scout… each newborn batch… for years… for years!… to no end… we have been… living in despair… always been at war with… the krogs… the kobolds… the orcs… the ogres… and the HATEFUL ADVENTURERS!" 

He takes a deep breath at that last word, seemingly hating the word alone. The tired soldier of the Goblin tribe suddenly starts sobbing out of nowhere…

"But it all… ends now… with you…My Prince… our tribe will… will rise… will defeat those swamp krogs… kill those mountain kobolds…  will subdue those… rebellious orcs… will overwhelm those… egoistic ogres… and then we… will massacre each… and every… adventurers… we will conquer back… our stolen lands!... Then sky!… then sun!… then moo-"

"Hold ya horses!" 

Before the delusional Hob-Goblin starts making plans for another Apollo project, he shouted.

Even if the said Mr.Prince could somehow defeat the cunning krogs, kill the walking alligators, subdue the barbaric orcs, overwhelm the only civilized monsters, and then Miraculously wiped each and every species who had been an adventurer for once, basically the whole world. Oscar didn't think Mr.Prince could fake the moon landing. Surely, he would need some balls of steel to pull this stunt. And the world's best actors who fear no one. 

Moreover, the said Mr.Prince was no one but Oscar -If he believes this delusional Hob-Goblin for once, that is- and it was too much of a burden for a lazyass like him. 

Even though the reincarnated Goblin heard the sob story of a struggling goblin tribe, who's in dire need of a hero. Foretold in a bullshit prophecy and the equally bullsh- Alright, a suspicious history of a past hero, who was most likely another otherworldly kind soul like Oscar. But unlike his predecessor, Oscar is anything but kind. He couldn't for the goblin life of him feel any kinship towards his brothers, lost or not. Even in his previous life, he had a hard time not to hate his relatives just because they exist. 

Thus, he leaves the matter of him being a legendary Mr.Prince of, or the suspect of being the one at least, with the bundled package called "Obligation to save them all" to the back of his non-existent mind. And focused on the matter at hand, namely the still sobbing Hob-Goblin in front of him who had never stood after kneeling once, showing surprisingly well discipline for a cruel and cunning Hob-Goblin. 

Anyone in Oscar's situation would either try to console him, the broken soldier who had finally found the lost prince, or at least try to reassure him of the unsaid future with a kind smile and try to gain his loyalty of his at first. But, the cruel Prince in front of him, did neither of those.

Instead, hiding his smirk. The newly appointed prince commanded the sobbing soldier sternly. 

"Stand-up"

"Eh…?" Although a little confused. The Hob-Goblin still stands up as demanded by his Prince. Hands down from his face, supporting himself over his stumpy legs, he finally stood up in ten seconds. 

"Sit-down"

"Ah… huh" With a nod, and a frown over his naturally vicious face. The Hob-Goblin did as told by his Prince. Legs folding, crouching before sitting on his bump. 

"Stand-up" With each word, his tone shifted to a more authoritative one. 

"Sit-down" 

Hands crossed over his chest. Oscar intently watched his reaction turning more and more accustomed to his commands, with less frowning and more waiting for the next. 

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"Stand-up" 

Although a little thrown off by the prince's sudden ups and down game, the smart Hob-Goblin quickly followed it splendidly. But still, he had yet to ask why he was even doing it at all. 

"Hands raised"

"Turn around"

"Jump"

"Ha!"

"Punch"

"Hiee!"

"Kick"

"Huuu!"

"Do a backflip"

"Hop!"

"Dance"

"Eh?"

"I said Dance!" Shouted the angry young prince. 

Before the legendary Prince could throw his legendary tantrum, the infamously bloodthirsty Hob-Goblin danced… Pointing both forefingers above his head, in the air, he rhythmically moves them before hopping on one leg to another. 

"Ho! Ho!... Ho! Ho!"

Making one hell of an ugly Hob-goblin dance… 

"Tap dance!" Shouted the over-eager Prince, accompanied by a double clap and a demonstration. 

*Clap! Clap!*

*Clip-Clop! Clippy-Clippy! Clop!*

Seeing the young Prince shuffling his legs, Hob-goblin turns restless. But followed him nonetheless.

"Haaa!"

*Clip-clip! Clop-clop! Clippy-clippy!-clop!*

"Break-Dance!"

The Hob-goblin hadn't even taken a breather, when he found the Little Prince doing a head-stand before spinning non-stop, making him feel dizzy just by seeing it.

"Hooo!" Clapping in appreciation, the Hob-Goblin tried it without asking twice. 

"Ghaaa!" His head spins with his body, reeling him on the spot. 

And right when he found some balance and stood back on two feet. The well-talented Prince shouted next. 

"Salsa!..." 

A sexy couple dance… 

"Eh? Nevermind" 

He would rather continue with what he was doing. 

"Windmill!" 

Rolling his torso in a circular path along the platform, while twirling his legs in a 'v' shape constantly for a moment. Oscar stood up to find the Hob-Goblin was doing the same, but better. 

"Hop! Hop!" He added the dangerous head jumps within it, making the real use of his much stronger strength and higher level. A true genius, indeed. 

"HOOOooooooo!" 

Came the hooting and clapping from the unexpected crowd. At some point, all the surviving goblins and the recently released bloodthirsty monsters had stopped creating chaos in the house and gathered at the entrance. Watching the weirdly eye-catchy moves of the bigger goblins. 

Not wanting to be outdone by a primitive Hob-goblin, Oscar throws another otherworldly move 

"Ground wheel!" Alternatively balancing the torso between either of his arms, while swinging the legs beneath in a continuous circle. Oscar successfully pulls the attention of the crowd and earns another hooting. Only to stop and turn to a much louder for his competitor.

"Hap! Hap! Hop!" Rotating his torso around the vertical axis of the body and swinging his spread-out legs in an upside-down position. While balancing himself over each hand, traveling in a circular motion. The Hob-Goblin shows an impressive gravity-defying move, building momentum over each rotation. 

"Hhhhhhoooooooooo!"

Whistling, shouting, hooting, The crowds cheered non-stop, completely forgetting about the existence of a jealous Goblin at the side. 

Getting the spotlight stolen by an uncivilized Hob-Goblin isn't a nice thing to feel, hence Oscar decided. 

'Time to get serious'

Eyes flared with burning flames. Oscar did something that shocked the crowd, stopped their shout, and makes it impossible to peer their eyes away from him. 

The beat changed, and so did the dance move.

The spotlight is intense, the goblin abruptly took a stance. 

Head low, hiding in a cast-over shadow, staring at the platform. His legs in a walking position, front foot held flat to the ground while the other stood in a tip-toe position. Pulling back the front foot slightly but smoothly till the other foot, he comes back to the initial position with the foot stance swapped. As he continuously repeats the motion non-stop. 

And before anyone noticed, the goblin was walking backward but still appearing to be walking forward.

With the non-existent upbeats in the back, the monster wearing a hat -from god knows where- glides over the platform, covering its circumference with his moonwalk twice before stopping in the center with a sudden scream "Au!" One hand behind the backside of his head, and the other pointing to his competitor. 

But the competitor is busy turning his hands red by his thunderous clapping, and the shocking monster audience hooting like there's no tomorrow; which might sadly be true for most of them. 

"Thank you! Thank you!" Hence, the end of the late-night dancing goblin show.

                                                              

"My Prince… what was that… for?" Asked the heavily panting Hob-Goblin, finally able to catch his breath. 

Obviously, Oscar couldn't tell that he was just messing with him, could he? Or that he was testing the waters before outright interrogating him.

"To test your stamina Hob-Gob… hey, what was your name again?" Glancing at the idiot who's giving an understanding and an admiring look, he asked.

"220E-Hob!..." Came the proudful boasting, eager to show his worth to the Prince. 

"Our supreme Elder… name us… at our first… evolution… as congratulations"

"Jazz… your name is Jazz" 

Not liking the digits and the alphabetical combo as the name; like a certain Elon man. Oscar renamed the first Hob-Goblin. Based on the dance moves, he just performed. 

"Al-alright… My Prince… if you… Said so" Accepting the honour, the Hob-Gob- Jazz said with gratitude before asking "But My Prince… why Jazz?"

"Because it means a good and loyal Hob-Goblin, are you not?" 

"I am, My Prince… I'm the most loyal Hob-Goblin!" Patting his chest, Jazz reassured him. 

'Or a dog' sneering. Oscar continued to interrogate him of the world beyond, the current situation of the dungeon, and the most importantly- how to use Mana directly. 

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