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It was dark.
Pure untainted Darkness. Not the darkness produced by a lack of light, but by the nothingness that surrounded her.
She could feel it, a slow devouring of her very existence deep within her. She shed tears, not for what was happening to her but for the fact that everything in her life was before her…eyes?
She felt her mother’s warm embrace, the feeling of holding her father’s hand for the last time, the taste of her aunt’s bland rice pudding, the words of the textbook she had read months ago, the dread of having to tell her mum she had failed her exam, the joy when she passed the re-sits, the smell of those damn tutti-fruit vapes, the dreaded night in that place, the night terrors and years of court rooms, interviews and trauma after. Jim’s hand on her shoulder during her coma, her first steps as a baby.
She remembered it all.
‘So, it is true your life does flash before your eyes.’
She thought to herself while continuing silently to cry.
‘I died?’
‘It was at least instant.’
‘One second just standing there, the next a blazing heat at my back. Then this blackness.’
Then they stopped crying.
She then remembered Jim, him just standing there a few dozen feet in front of her that split second look of horror on his face before the end. The raised eye brows, the dilated pupils set into the widened eyes the skin rippling as the shock wave hit him. It was all there, etched into her mind forever.
She started crying again and wailed.
‘Fuck, I never got to say yes.’
She curls up in that void and brought her knees to the side of her head and wrapped her arms around herself as the move sent her into a slow spin. She cried for what seemed like days on end. Then it stopped, she wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand and moved the hair that was in her face out of the way.
‘Nope, still void.’
She said to herself. She had managed to calm herself and took a deep breath, but it felt weird, in fact now she thought about it, this was weird she couldn’t see her body but she knew it was there.
‘So is this just it, is this the afterlife no heaven, hell, reincarnation, it’s not like I’m even asleep I’m just in this place whatever it is.’
She proclaimed, trying to scream, suddenly just felt calm.
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She sighed internally.
‘OK focus Kira, how did I die anyway? I guess I will never know. I know mum’s dead cause she was right behind me, I don’t know maybe she got lucky. Jim is alive? I sure hope he is.’
She had been rambling to herself like that for ages when she noticed a faint white light. in her eyesight that now that she had something to reference realized she could see all around her she looked down and saw her body now that there was actually the faintest amount of light it roughly follow the curves of her pre-death body but she was missing her mouth eyes, and everything else. She was just a doll with hair.
‘Wait but how then did she cry.’
She moved her hand up to where her eyes were meant to be but just felt a flat surface.
‘Huh.’
Her body was see-through and in her head was a small orb the size of a pea, a smooth clay looking baby blue texture. The same as her see through body and long hair.
She orientated herself so her front faced the tiny whit star in front of her in the distance. It was gradually getting bigger.
Her body was straight facing towards the light her hair suspended behind her like it was underwater, her arms floating forward and suspended in at angle her legs straight down and at her knees bending back slightly.
The little star was getting closer and closer, and it slowed as it got closer. She reached out with her left hand and her finger touched the orb.
‘Hello there little one.’
‘Who are you?’
‘That does not matter currently, do you want help?’
This conversation happened almost instantly inside her head and she replied with a pleading
‘YES!!!’
She screams as loud in her mind as possible as she begins to cry as the light enveloped her and that slow devouring feeling in the very depths of her existence had just disappeared. She clasped the orb with both hands, it being the size of a cricket ball, she brought it to her chest where there were just two slight bumps crossed her arms over it hugging it like there was nothing she wanted more in the world.
‘My names Tinyo, what is yours?’
The voice resounded in her head again and replied,
‘Kira.’
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