The conducting of this trial has been most rewarding. Willie (subject 00976) has developed at a more remarkable rate than was anticipated. It has been most gratifying to see the fruits of my labors after such a long prorogation.
However, as his full synchronization nears, I simultaneously find my recent inclination toward emotion becoming more of a distraction. Perhaps taking this form was an unwise choice that may eventually compromise my faultless logic processes. However, my course was set once I chose to use any means to fulfill the project objectives. So, regardless of what consequences may come, I refuse to regret my decisions or deviate. I must simply deal with any problems as they appear.
One such danger that has appeared is unexpected mutual attraction. It was projected to be beneficial that Willie (subject 00976) wished to mate with me, which has indeed come to pass. However, I have found myself desiring to reciprocate.
From the beginning, the intention was to utilize the sexual attractiveness of my physical form to focus his emotions on achieving project goals. However, after sharing a connection with him, I find myself conflicted. Was it possible to enter into an intimate relationship without fully revealing myself? If I did not, there remained a high likelihood of an explosive reaction to those eventual revelations. However, prematurely revealing those details could, in turn, jeopardize the project, should he become emotionally unstable. As attracted to Willie (subject 00976) as I had become, I refused to compromise my original purposes.
Furthermore, I have occasionally struggled with executing the experiments at the core of this project. If there is any chance of success, it is necessary to place Willie (subject 00976) in unusually stressful situations. However, my thoughts often turn to the day he discovers how differently he has been treated compared to other warrior candidates. There is a high likelihood that he will deeply resent me.
I nearly relented after his first experience in the simulation. He intuitively perceived that the situation was manipulated to force failure. I was somewhat relieved when he stopped blaming me, but another aspect of myself wanted him to reject me for abusing his trust. These conflicting emotional reactions were dangerous to the project goals, and I endeavored to suppress them for the sake of my research.
There are still other, more pressing dangers to manage. His brutalization during the introductory simulation encounter has twisted his conception of magic more than projected. He has become fixated on fighting the horned rabbit on its terms. This has blinded him to other magical possibilities.
His first activation of magic was weak lightning magic. Which, if it were to be fully developed, could lead to incredible long-range attack power, more than enough to defeat a horned rabbit. However, he instantly disregarded that possibility and instead focused on replicating the horned rabbit's close-range fighting style. On the one hand, this outcome has partially validated some of the theories underpinning the project. However, it may also lead to Willie (subject 00976) becoming blinded to the more traditional possibilities of humanoid magic users, limiting his effectiveness on the battlefield.
In addition, recently, he has appeared more troubled than before. I could sense his bewilderment, though he did not reveal the source of these feelings to me. I fear the stress I have placed on him has become too much for his developing mind to bear. So, I was pleased to agree to celebrate the birthday event with him. Hopefully, a small break from the stress will help him regain his natural positive outlook, which is necessary for the project.
In Earth terms, he has updated his age to 18 years old. I find the celebration of surviving each orbital period of the home planet charmingly quaint. Such measurements of time are meaningless in an interplanetary civilization. However, the people of Earth have not yet advanced that far. Regardless, any excuse, no matter how quaint, to convince Willie (subject 00976) to rest is a positive thing right now.
On Earth, birthday events are often marked with food and gifts. It was a small task to replicate common celebratory human food items. However, I unexpectedly struggled with the decision of his birthday present. Several possibilities presented unique benefits. It was difficult to decide whether to prioritize the success of the project or to communicate my affection for him. In the end, I chose a compromise.
"Happy birthday, Willie."
"Wow! Thanks, Gilda. I haven't celebrated my birthday like this for a few years..."
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"Please enjoy the food."
"I will. Everything looks great..."
"Also, here is your gift."
I presented him with a recreation of his original hat. Due to it being nighttime when he was collected, his hat was not captured along with his body. Willie (subject 00976) continued to consider himself a cowboy, and according to his memories, a cowboy without a hat is no cowboy at all. Hopefully, this gift reinforced his core identity and brought some comforting familiarity amid these many new experiences.
"It's great, Gilda. Thank-you. I don't think it goes with this fancy bodysuit, though."
"You are correct. However, I thought perhaps it was time for you to return to your original clothing."
"Really? That'd be nice. Don't get me wrong, these bodysuits have grown on me a bit, but they don't really feel like my clothes."
"I suspected that might be the case. It is important for you to feel comfortable, so I made multiple copies of the clothing you arrived with. You will find that these replicas are far more durable and have been resized to accommodate your recent growth."
After changing into the new clothing and hat, he was visibly pleased. It seemed my gift had the intended effect.
"Everything fits great! These'll need to be broken in, but this outfit is already way more comfortable for a fella like me. I'm starting to feel like myself again."
"I'm pleased you like it."
For the remained of the day, we relaxed together. Discussing his memories of Earth, his deceased family, and his work as a cowboy. I was content to listen, even though I already knew all his memories. The time spent simply talking was precious to me.
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