Chapter 66: 67. Chapter – In all things, balance

It is easy to lose one's self in the depths of the subconscious. Many have lost their way through the ascent, their misery and self loathing could be sensed often by those who walk the same path. Hollow empty husks wander the shadowy corridors, hoping for a miracle that might help them. When the only one who could have ever saved them were themselves. 

Extract from the teachings of Joseph Grey, the last officially appointed Grandmaster of the Grey Order. Forever immortalized through the force.

 

Nizzal gazed into the darkness, while standing on her small island of light. Everything that was surrounding her was part of an endless sea of darkness. The silent echoes of steadily closing footsteps were the only sign proving that anything tangible actually existed inside the maws of that darkness.

A voice spoke up, the voice of a man, she was more than familiar with, but she didn't understand why he came here.

-Child of the force. That was what they called me once, in a story long forgotten by the world behind our temples walls. Chosen one they called me a man who is loved by the force itself. They were words, that held truth, but they also failed in a lot of ways...

There was a silence, for a short time, then the man continued. 

-Foreseeing the future, is an art few if any truly know, even the greatest of our order struggle with it. Our minds will inevitably focus on the hoped or expected possibility outright ignoring other more likely outcomes. While we are obsessed with treating the one we wish to come true as the only possibility. We inevitably create the right circumstances to fulfill another one. Then we eventually pay the price of our arrogance. 

Another moment of silence appeared before the man took a fresh breath of air and continued his dire monologue.

-I created this order in the hope, that we will eventually learn from our own mistakes, and it seems to fulfill that purpose. Through thousands of years, we searched and built the archive and now we have something precious, something unique. 

-You want to become the leader of this order, my order. You, Nizzal the Grey... Hahah... what a joke. You are nothing special, just a scared child who wandered too far from the path and got lost in a forest of dreams and nightmares, hah! You are lost among many if I might add. A little girl and a twi'lek of all too stubborn to accept the harsh reality, you should have let yourself be captured by those slavers, in that way, you would at least have some food to eat. Yet you refused to, choosing to die instead hoping that the world will feel sad about your bad faith. As if the world could give a damn about you dying in a hidden and forgotten corner of the galaxy. It was the world, that put you there in the first place, some people only understand one language after all, the tongue of power and fear. You were on the verge of death when we found you, a weak child, a beggar that even her family tossed aside. That was you and look at yourself now! 

Nizzal was shaken from the words that the man spoke to her, the man she couldn't decide if she hated or respected more. She dazedly followed the instructions and looked down at her current appearance it was the first time since she began to climb the stairs that she could take a closer look at her robe, or what was left of it... 

She looked just like any beggar on the street, her robe was ripped apart, hanging from her body in small pieces, it was also covered with dirt and grime drenched in perspiration from the blind walk she had done for who knows how long. 

The voice of the man shouted at her, and she winced reflexively the same as she did as a child on Ryloth trying to escape from the slavers running through in the narrow back streets. 

- Beggar! That is what you are, a dirty beggar and nothing more, you live on borrowed time. Isn't that, right? 

Nizzal felt her throat dry up in the wake of the question, the silence was suffocating. For a moment she was back on the streets, lost, terrified hoping for a miracle that she secretly knew would never come. The sensation, was so real, so terrifyingly real, the touch of the cold marble under her arm, the ragged clothes covering her, the grime sticking to her skin... She couldn't help, but question if it was all but a lucid dream until now, and in truth she was dying off on that street, from hunger... and sickness... But... but that couldn't be, right? She has all this knowledge now, all these new tools, to defend herself from that faith... 

Nizzal shook her head as she spoke with a dire expression, trying to convince herself with her words maybe even more than her opponent. 

-... No... I am not...

-Hah, you are delusional to the very end... Let me help you understand... As I look at you now, I see nothing more than a beggar here, lost in her own dream, and self induced fantasy. This whole place surrounding us is nothing more than your hopeful dream for a future that could never exist! You are running away, from what you truly are beggar child... 

-NO! I AM NOT! NOT ANYMORE!

Nizzal screamed at the man as she was momentarily consumed by emotions, she couldn't accept such a thing. It made her insides crawl and rage against such lies! They must be lies, there is no other possibility!

-You should never forget from where you came from, Nizzal the Beggar, you should never forget that, because there are things you can never change. 

Nizzal couldn't hold back her rage anymore, as she said to the man she now was convinced hated more than anything... 

-I am not a beggar anymore. You should know that already Darth Revan... just as you should know, that we can change from what we once became, if we really want to. 

A chilly silence began to fill the place around the two. One person hidden among the darkness and one encircled by a dimming ray of light. 

-If that is the case, little beggar, then show me that I am wrong.

There was a short pause between the two sentences as the man couldn't help but smirk out loud. 

-After all, you already showed us to have humility befitting one of your people, now let's see if you lack the spine too. 

Nizzal, closed her eyes, as the ray of light that shined until now dimmed further until it completely disappeared, the darkness claimed everything for a few seconds. Then a silver ray of light parted the darkness, burning with an unusual ferocity. 

It was a silver lightsaber, held by a girl covered in the robes of beggars, but her expression was not belonging to a beggar anymore. She was filled with determination as she held out the blade facing the endless darkness, without hesitation.

Now, she was a warrior. A warrior with a single goal in front of her eyes. 

Not far from her in the cover of the dark a red single blade had been ignited, which was soon followed by another purple one. The two blades were lifted up and crossed in front of their holder's body sending a few bursts of sparks throughout the room. Their light has shown the eery form of a warrior cladded in dark armor, his face hidden behind the mask of a long dead mandalorian. 

There were no more words exchanged between the two as the sound of crackling thunder roared. Lightning strokes across the field of emptiness filling the entire cave with an otherworldly hue. A sith lightning was unleashed from the left hand of the twi'lek girl. The lightning had a strange purple color that was a sign of extremely compressed darkside energy. Anyone hit by such lightning without the a few layers of force shields and specific armor that is resistant to such an attack would be killed immediately. 

The warrior facing the attack didn't panic, he simply held out one of his swords while creating an interward sucking whirlpool around the blade. Through a technique somewhat similar to Vaapad he caught the lightning and slowly channeled it through the lightsaber until it completely dissipated. 

When Revan looked up, from this process, he couldn't see his opponent anymore. He looked to the side, but the darkness and silence were everywhere. The girl's presence was masterfully hidden in the force as well, he couldn't sense her, therefore he decided to wait.

Suddenly the sound of a freshly ignited silver blade appeared behind him. He did a fast pirouette deflecting the incoming piercing attack to his right while striking towards the neck of his opponent with his other blade. 

The twi'lek girl, moved with the motion of her deflected blade and danced out of his blade's reach, while simultaneously sending a stream of this time less condensed blue lightning towards Revan to stop him from following up with another attack. 

Revan used his purple blade to absorb the lightning while turning off his red saber. He reached his now empty hand upwards making a grabbing motion which was soon followed by the ear piercing sound of a cracking stone.

The cave where they were began to shake furiously under their feet, huge cracks running along the walls and the floor, each one generating sharp soundwaves similar to a bomb blast wave, echoing through the breaking apart cave. 

Nizzal looked at the incredible spectacle in utmost awe as she watched the ceiling above her part in two revealing the almost forgotten night sky, filled with twinkling stars. She slowly turned her face back towards Revan. His face was still covered with the mask of a female mandalorian warrior, the mask he had found long ago, which has become the symbol of the person later named Darth Revan. 

The man sensing the eyes of the girl on himself spoke up.

-This is the power of the force, look at it child, this is what I expect from a Grandmaster of my Order!

Nizzal, swalloved drily, as she looked up once more and saw that each and every piece of the cave's ceiling was individually levitated through the air, like floating platforms leading up to the very stars. 

On a sudden whim she decided to jump up on one of the floating rocks, then from that to another and another, until she finally reached up to the edge of the cave, and immediately jumped through it. 

She was out of the cave, standing next to the crater that Revan had just created. Her feet that were covered with ripped off clothes touched the slightly wet green grass and she breathed in the fresh air, smelling the scent of wet grass, and forest leafs. 

It was a freeing sensation, fulfilling even. As if she finally came home. She sensed her fighting spirit slowly sipping away, as a sense of melancholy began to take its place. Home... that was all she ever wanted in her life, that was what she truly wanted, a peaceful home, where she could relax her tired limbs, without anyone bothering her... A home, where her loving family waits. She felt her grasp weaken on the blade as the sense of warmth filled her body, why would she need a blade anyway... 

There was but a strange sense of dread that still stopped her from dropping the weapon, she needed that, for something, something important... She looked around the clearing, as far as her eyes could see there were only this peaceful scenary, endless pastures, singing birds and a rich lively forest to her right. 

The words of her master sounded in her mind, "A gray lightsaber is a symbol of your dedication to always seek the truth instead of the comfort so often found in the shadow of lies. Lies created by ourselves to serve as a foundation of our own sickness. It is the simbol of those who consciously choose to walk the harder path. If you take good care of this blade, it will protect you, and help you to cut out the sickness when the time comes. Remember this."

Protect me... Yes, I was fighting with someone... wasn't I? Yes! How could I forget... I was fighting with Revan!

Nizzal opened her eyes, but she couldn't see the starry sky anymore. Only the thick darkness, she blinked a few times to verify that her eyes were indeed open. She felt confused but there was no more time to think about this, because out of nowhere an ignited red lightsaber was cutting towards her neck from her left side horizontally. 

She rolled to her right in a panic, sensing the blade's warmth barely missing her neck by mere centimeters. The attacker however didn't hold back as he continued to push forward with another strike. She couldn't roll out of this one's way she had to block it. 

As she came out of the roll she immediately took up a half kneeling position grabbing her lightsaber with both hands. The purple blade was striking towards her shoulder drawing an ominous hue through the darkness. 

She raised her arms into position and ignited her silver blade in the nick of time to cross the heavy blow. The weight of the blade was pushing her arms back, the man was much more powerful then her, she had to do something or this battle would end here. 

Nizzal's brain was already working in overdrive when the force sent her a sign of incoming danger. From her back. She looked backwards halfway, and saw with widened eyes as a red lightsaber was whirling through the air heading directly towards her unprotected back. 

There was nowhere to run, she understood as her head whipped back towards Revan, seeing that his other hand holding the red saber was now empty. He must have thrown it at the moment when I rolled to my side. That was the only moment when I couldn't see his actions. 

But I won't go down that easily! 

Nizzal closed her eyes, as she focused her will. The blade whirled through the air getting closer and her arms were pushed backward inch by inch as she gritted her teeth as the muscles in her arms screamed with agony. 

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Just a little bit more. Her eyebrows furrowed as a streak of perspiration dribbled down her dimly lit face.

Cold words rang through the shadows... 

-You have failed.

-Not yet. 

Answered Nizzy silently, as a loud crack echoed through the cave, a huge stalactite fell at the place a few meters behind Nizzal, crashing into the ground from the ceiling. Effectively deflecting the incoming lightsaber and showering both fighter with small projectiles of broken rocks.

Nizzal felt her back sting with pain as the gravel pieces scratched her skin. She didn't have time to care, as the sudden wave of gravel distracted Revan for a second.

At that moment, Nizzal used all her might and pushed back the purple saber just enough to make a panicked roll backwards and successfully get out of the reach of the deadly blow. 

-Amusing. 

Stated Revan, as he looked at the heavily breathing girl in front of him. He stretched out his empty hand and the red blade flew back into his waiting palm.

With that, he charged forward and cut towards the form of the petrifide girl. She tried to raise her arm to block the blade but she wasn't quick enough as the blade cut through her body diagonally. 

Revan himself was surprised by this outcome, as he turned to look at the body only to realize there was no body left behind. His eyes widened with a sudden realization as he exclaimed.

-Mirage!

Revan's senses were overwhelmed by force warnings screaming of dangers from every direction around him, he looked around but couldn't find the light of the iconic silver blade. Even now, when the presence of the girl was appearing at random places in the cave. Often in more than one place at the same time as if she multiplied while he didn't look at her, it was a technique to distract his senses and it proved effective in fooling him.

He was turning around in his place, reacting to the strongest warnings. Whenever he turned there was nothing to find.

There was a sudden and unusually powerful warning, and he turned in its direction to block a silver blade. He was ready to deliver a counter strike to the foolish child, only to realize that the blade wasn't held by anyone it was controlled by telekinesis.

His eyes widened as another flaring force warning came from his back. He turned halfway ready to counter the twi'lek that he expected to attack him from the back while still having to constantly block the telekinetically controlled saber with one of his blades.

When he turned half way to fight off the incoming enemy he didn't find the girl, but he did find a bunch of fist sized rocks that crashed into his body, he did manage to deflect some of them with his blade, but a few pieces did managed to pass his guard. One crashed into his helmet from the front knocking him backwards forcing him to make a quick backstep to stop himself from falling prone on his back. 

The effort was futile however, as his legs were swept from under him, by a low kick that was clearly anticipating his first backward step. The girl couldn't find an opportunity to attack him, therefore she created one.

Well done he thought. 

He fell on his back, but rolled with the motion immediately turning off his sabers to save himself from accidental injuries caused by his own weapons. 

The moment he turned off his blades he felt a powerful lighting crash into his body. He gritted his teeth as the pain and convulsions ran through his muscles and nerves, but he still finished his roll, and stood up at the end. His armor and force shields defended him from the brunt of the attack. But still, they were annoying, he igniting his blades to neutralize the next lightning strike which was closely following the first one.

-You have learned well. 

Stated the men as he deflected the lightning with ease. Then he added with a wave of anger leaking into his voice.

- Let's see how you deal with this. 

Nizzal was sending waves after waves of blue lightning at Revan with her left hand, while she pulled back her still floating saber into her grasp with her other hand. This was the most ideal fighting strategy she preferred to use, one practical for her current size. It was at that moment, when both her instincts and the force screamed into her mind, they warned her of incoming danger. 

There was no time to react, her force shields were squeezed from every direction with a crushing raw force attack. The shields were flaring under the pressure as they began to break apart leaving her bare to any incoming attack. 

As the last of her barriers broke down, the whole pressure directly hit her body, she was engulfed in a force hold, that petrified her whole body, forced her limbs apart at her sides, and lifted her up about half a meter high into the air.

The force crush was squeezing her body harder and harder. The pain was unbearable, she sensed her bones slowly bending in unnatural directions under the excruciating pressure. Her sight turned hazy, as she watched the form of Revan walk closer to her. At the light of her own lightsaber which was still grasped in her hand, but she couldn't move it, no matter how hard she struggled.

She saw that this time both of Revan's arms were stretched forward in her direction, he clearly focused all of his attention to maintain the technique around her, his blades were hanging on he side of his belt. 

Nizzal stopped struggling to free her entire body from the deadly technique. Instead she focused her will into her lungs and throat solely. The moment she stopped defending the rest of her body from the force technique, sounds of snapping and breaking bones filled the cave.

White hot pain blinded her mind as she finally opened her mouth and screamed channeling all her pain and hatred towards the cloaked figure. Her scream fueled by darkside energies, empowered by her pain and hatred sent forwards a concentrated storm of negative energy, crushing into the body of the surprised opponent. 

The man immediately released the technique as the table was now  turned on him. He was using all of his skills to fight off the black cloud which was a pure manifestation of death circling around him, draining his life energy and willpower with every passing second. 

Revan's force shields broke apart even faster than Nizzal's under the assault of the extremely deathly technique. He saw that even his armor began to corrode from the touch of the thick miasma. With a last burst of energy that he fueled into his fist he hit the floor creating a burst of static energy around him dispersing the cloud of death at last.

He felt weak, and dazed as a large part of his life energy was drained by that technique.

The moment the miasma dispersed he was attacked by a fresh burst of blue lightning which he managed to roll out of its way, but it was immediately followed by another and another. The second one was absorbed in his outstretched palm through a defensive force technique. It was at that moment he realized that the lightning was extremely weak and it couldn't do much harm to him even if it hits normally. Even now, when his force shields were ripped apart his armor would easily channel most of the energy into the ground. Using this high level absorbing technique was a waste of energy against such weak attacks. Which he had little to spare after he was drained by that ominous miasma.

The girl had already lost, she was simply stretching the time with such pitiful attempts. 

Revan smirked victoriously, as he stopped absorbing the lightning with his open palm. He should use his blade to defend himself against such pitiful attacks. But the sword wasn't in his hand, it was hanging on his belt. And the next wave of lightning was about to be sent at him. 

He decided to risk it, even if it hits him with one lightning strike that was so weak he will only have to grit his teeth for a few seconds.  

He used the force to pull the blade from his belt into his outstretched arm, but just as he expected it was too late the lightning crashed into him. The moment the attack reached him, he saw blood red lightning run along his body. The energy was so condensed that it immediately began to melt his insides along with his armor which began to melt together with his partly cooked skin. The moment the lightning ended the backlash of the electromagnetic energy propelled his body backwards crashing it into the rocky wall of the cave. 

His armor was made and reinforced with sith alchemy, however the lightning that hit his body, was unrealistically powerful. The energy burned through his muscles and flesh, seriously damaging his heart and lungs among many other important organs. He didn't understand, how could the lighting be this strong? If he knew that it was this powerful, he could have absorbed it by another technique, he didn't do so, because that technique was too tiring... and his life force was already drained after... 

Revan's eyes widened with a sudden realization.

She used my drained lifeforce to attack me... so that was why... now I see. It seems my overconfidence, has led me astray once more.

Nizzal at this moment was leaning against the stalactite that she had pulled down earlier as she was breathing heavily and her whole body was literally on fire, her limbs were screaming with pain.

All her limbs were shaking fiercely and she was unable to lift her arms anymore... they were hanging by her side limply while spasming at random times. She just used an extremely condensed lightning strike against Revan, which was far behind her level of control. She did everything she could, to lead him astray, sending a series of weak lightning at him. It was all in blind hope, that he would make a careless mistake letting down his guard just for a second, allowing for her to unleash most of the energy she accumulated with the life draining miasma. She couldn't afford to miss, because she was unable to control such intense attacks as she was now. That attack was her last hope.

She could only pray that a single hit would be enough, as she listened and waited in the darkness slowly consumed by pain. She tried to soothe her injuries with a lightside healing technique. Her skin was burned by lightning, her left arm was broken in several places just as her legs and many of her ribs. Some of her fingers were also broken on her right arm, which she used to grab onto the fallen stalactite. She couldn't fight anymore, she wasn't even sure if she could survive this without help.

Even so, she listened to the sounds of the cave while holding back her breathing.

To her surprise, there were no more sounds of movement. Only a voice came from the darkness. A voice that lifted her from this hell, to the heavens of existence in a few minutes. 

-You are worthy. Now the part of your Sith training has been fulfilled too. As part of the old Sith tradition, I Darth Revan as the judge of your trial hereby grant you the Sith name of Darth Waif.

-Embrace this name for what it is, may it always remind you of your greatest weakness, use it to harness the pain to your advantage, and it will give you the power you need to push forward.

-The weakness that you dreaded to remember now has been turned into a source of your great power. The chain of your past, has been broken.

-Now you have been reborn, as a true master of the force. Now you are a Grandmaster of both the light, and the darkside. Go now, Darth Waif, enjoy your glory as long as it lasts.

 

A civilian citizen's anonymous question to the Order of the Grey. Publicized in the open electronic forum of Unity.

Forgive me for my straightforward approach, but in my humble opinion, The Grey Order, is an overly mystified gathering of half crazed lunatics who for one state that they can sense the future in and between many other similarly ridiculous statements. I mean, nobody would openly argue about the fact that they have a strange power. We all witness the force in action, it is clearer than the light of the mechanical sun of Unity. Many of us have friends or family members who are blessed with the same sort of power, we all know it exists and I don't plan to argue with that fact. 

But looking into the future, now that's where I say stop spewing bullshit. Our cherished apostles led by the force have long since decided for us to live in seclusion from the world. Then why is that, that from our very childhood we were encouraged to learn of the wanders belonging to the outside world, but we were forbidden to visit it. They say it is for our own safety, and that the time has not come yet for us to reveal our presence, but is it really their place to decide such things? Why is it that you can only leave, if you join a faction of the military, or travel with special escorts on the entire way. 

Is there really an enemy out there, that we have to hide from, or is it nothing more than a flare of the imagination to keep us here? I would like the Order to clarify my question in a more detailed way, then they usually do. 

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