V1 Chapter 26 | My Feelings

I look back on that time and reexamine my feelings.

What was I thinking, what did I want to do?

And I came up with an answer.

“I think I hated it”

“What did you not like?”

When I was getting ready to move in after pulling my belongings out of Himekawa’s house and carrying them here, I met Imai-san and he said, ‘From now on, I’ll be taking care of Himekawa-san’ and it made me irrationally frustrated”

“What does that mean?”

“Perhaps I thought that Imai-san had taken Himekawa”

“Me, by Imai-san?”

“Yes. Everything I’ve done has gone to waste, and Imai-san will take care of everything else. He does everything I can’t do. In a sure way and without any problems”

“Did you really think of that?”

“I don’t really understand it myself. I just felt like Imai-san told me that I shouldn’t be there, that I was out of place, that I was useless. I felt that Himekawa also thought that I was not needed because the rest was left to Imai-san. That’s why I wanted to disappear right away from that place…. I think I wanted to be alone.”

For a while, only the ticking of the clock could be heard, and time passed without Himekawa and I speaking a single word.

Maybe it’s not a lie. I’m not sure I’ve got it all figured out, but I think it’s true.

Himekawa will probably think I’m a jerk. But I don’t want to lie.

If this relationship breaks up, it’s my own fault.

Am I willing to be in the situation I’m in now? A new question has arisen in my mind.

“Tendo-kun, I admire you. You think about the future and take care of yourself. Moreover, you can cook.”

Himekawa stares at me and talks to me.
“You know things I don’t know, and you can do many things I can’t do. You’re a little blunt and unfriendly, and you are always alone at school listening to music”

Himekawa’s words don’t stop. She opens her mouth while looking straight at me.

“But you are a kind person. You called out to me and helped me. And now you’re eating dinner with me like this. You’re letting me experience many things I never knew before. If I had stayed with my father, I think I would have stayed that way. I want to grow up, do more, and experience more things.

“Himekawa…”

“Tendo-kun, you are the person I need. Even Imai-san needs Tendo-kun. So please don’t say such sad things. And please don’t think that you can do it alone. There are many things you can do together that you cannot do alone”

Himekawa gets up from her chair and reaches for my cheek.

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What is it? What’s she going to do to me? Is she going to give me a slap or something?

I waited for her hand to touch my cheek with my heart pounding.

Then, Himekawa’s hand touches my cheek a little and immediately moves away.

“Look, a grain of rice. If you were alone, you wouldn’t notice it, would you?”

“Indeed, if I were alone, I wouldn’t notice it.”

We both chuckled a little and proceeded to eat.

Was I thinking too much? Or was it that I couldn’t even think?

I’m sure I’m still just a kid, just acting like an adult.

Himekawa is much more mature than me.

We talked a little about each other and finished dinner.

Tomorrow morning, I would prepare breakfast with Himekawa’s stir-fried shredded vegetables as the main dish.

I couldn’t have done this menu if I was alone. This menu was made possible by Himekawa’s presence.

We finish dinner, take turns taking a bath, and prepare for tomorrow.

Day by day, the maximum mental capacity improves. It is a very wonderful thing.

Thanks to this, I can take a relaxing bath and be healed.

Then, right before I go to bed, my phone starts ringing.

“Yes, this is Tsukasa”

{Tsukasa, regarding yesterday’s matter, I will be heading over there tomorrow with Imai-san. I think it will be in the evening, so please stay at home with Himekawa-san}

He told me what he wanted to talk about and quickly hung up the phone.

As usual, he was short on time. I told Himekawa about tomorrow’s meeting at the messenger and snuggled into the futon, and suddenly thought about it.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen my father. I haven’t done anything to make him angry, have I?

Thinking about that, I left for the dream world.

TLN: Double release to make up for yesterday.

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