Chapter 10: [Chapter ten] Pillow

I don't want to get up.

I really don't want to get up.

But the sunlight shining in my face right now is so bright that I can see it through my freaking eyelids.

Stupid sun.

Now I could just turn over, but I'm in a really super comfy position here... and also there's the familiar weight of a certain annoying little sister bearing down on my abdomen and pinning me in place.

I bet this is why my chest is the smallest of any woman in either side of my family... its growth was probably stunted by them constantly sneaking in here in the middle of the night and using it as a pillow.

"C'mon," I let out a hoarse morning growl, "you're old enough to be sleeping in your own bed."

I lift my arm up and slide it over the head of silky h-

"Wha?"

The texture is all wrong. Instead of the lovely baby-soft silkiness that I've always been kind of jealous of, this is more... fluffy.

"...wait a minute..."

Breaking through the layer of sleep that had been gluing them shut, I force my eyes open and look down at-

"!!!"

White.

White floof.

Just below my chin.

Close enough see clearly even without my glasses on.

Aaaaaand now I can feel her arms hugging my upper torso and she's totally face-down in my boobs and OH GOD HER GRIP IS TIGHTENING UP AND SHE'S BURYING HER FACE IN THERE

what the fuck what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK

Oh God what do I even do in a situation like this I want to freaking scream but she might zap me if I scare her awake but I can't just keep on giving involuntary puffpuffs like this why the hell is she even hugging me dammit dammit dammit I'm so used to my sisters sneaking in my bed in the middle of the night that I didn't even notice her doing it whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

"Mmmm..."

A voice of contentment, far removed from my own internal freakout.

My heart damn near stops when her hands start shifting again, but then I realize that her grip is loosening instead of tightening and now her head's starting to shift-

"...mmm?"

A pair of big sparkling eyes flutter open, inches away from my face.

"!!!"

"Gah-!"

Without warning, my own eyes are subjected to a sharp piercing pain that causes me to reflexively slap my hands over my face. Completely overwhelmed by this sudden assault to my optic nerves, all I can go is grit my teeth and hold my face until the pain finally dies down.

"-----------"

The first thing my senses pick up after getting my wits about me again is a high-pitched whine. I don't have any visual confirmation since I'm still lying here on my back with my hands over my face, but I'm pretty sure it's coming from the far side of the room?

"-------------------------"

The second thing I notice is that I'm no longer enveloped in the bodyheat of a certain someone, nor am I burdened by her weight on my chest.

"sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorryIamsosorrypleaseforgivemeIwouldnevermeanto"

As I push myself upright and rub the lingering spots from my eyes, my mind finally registers that that noise is, in fact, speech.

Really really fast speech.

Then I reach for my glasses on the nightstand next to my bed and put them on.

And I'm met with the sight of Yahanaseara curled up in a little ball across the room while continuing to rattle off the longest, fastest apology that I've ever heard in my entire life.

Alright, me.

Empirical analysis time.

Yahanaseara snuck into my bed and uh... cuddled me while I was asleep. Given that I was left otherwise unmolested(mostly), it's clear that no actual harm was intended.

Probably.

And considering her reaction just now, I'm not all that sure that her actions were even intentional.

Maybe.

As such, there is no reason for me to be freaking out. Yes she was stammering last night about how pretty she thinks I am in this nightgown, but it's not like she was besotten by lust and temporarily turned into a guy so she could ravish me while I slept or anything horrible like that.

And it's not like I'm unfamiliar with being used as a hug pillow.

With a sigh of resignation, I slide off the bed and endure the stinging sensation of pins and needles in my feet in order to approach the still-apologizing Elemental Spirit.

"pleasedonothatemepleasedonothatemepleasedonothatemepleasedonothateme"

"Hey."

I kneel down and place a hand atop her fluffy head.

"S- Savior..."

She shudders at the sudden physical contact.

"First off, I'm not mad at you," I say.

"......"

"I would appreciate it if you explained what you were doing in my bed, though."

"I am so incredibly sorry..." Yahanaseara sniffles. "...I swear that I did not mean anything untoward-"

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"Yeah, I figured as much," I cut her off. "And I also understand how sorry you are, so there isn't any need for you to keep on apologizing forever."

"As you wish," she nods.

I give her hair a little rustle before stepping back to give her some space.

But she remains in the fetal position regardless, unable to even so much as look me in the eye.

"Last night," she mumbles, "you were quick to fall asleep. But regardless of how long I tried, I could not."

Her tiny hands grab at her hair and start tugging on it.

"And then, some time after you had fallen asleep, the night sky grew cloudy enough to cover the moon."

"Oh?"

I glance outside, and find that it's indeed kind of cloudy out. Not quite overcast, but still.

"Even with the illumination of the Great Ring in the sky, I found myself flashing back to before you had freed me. To that all-encompassing, lightless void."

"...oh."

"I- I know it is absolutely pathetic, especially for one such as myself... but I just could not bear to be in the darkness. Not alone."

So this is where the trauma manifests...

"But you were right there, in the bed next to mine."

She finally looks up at me, and her eyes are that lingering shade of red that comes from a long crying session.

Way longer than just this current incident.

"I could... can feel the lightning from your every movement. Every toss and turn, every breath, every beat of your heart."

She pushes herself back onto her feet.

"And your soul as well," she says, looking directly into my eyes. "Below that of my brother in terms of intensity yet still strong. Not the same Lightning affinity as ours yet still comforting."

Well they do say that Lightning and Water are compatible...

"In the end, I lost out to my fears and sought comfort in your presence. The closer to you I was, the less afraid I felt."

"So you snuck into my bed and buried your face in my tits."

"...I have no excuse," she mumbles.

Shit, I came off too harsh.

"Don't mind my language," I groan, "I'm just kinda cranky after waking up like that."

I never was much of a morning person.

"So to sum it up, the trauma from being locked in that little ball for all those hundreds of years ended up giving you a phobia of the dark."

"...yes," Yahanaseara nods.

"You weren't freaking out back when we were navigating that maze, though?"

"You were holding my hand the entire time," she replies. "So I did not realize the extent to which this pathetic fear had taken hold within me."

I guess it is relatively common among victims of trauma to immediately latch onto the first friendly face they see after so long...

...but still.

"You could've just woken me up, you know." I sigh. "It's not like I wouldn't have understood."

"My intention was to wake up long before you did and leave your bed before you ever even noticed my presence," she replies, completely overcome with shame.

"But then I made for such a comfortable pillow that you just couldn't bring yourself to," I snap back.

"...you are correct," she mumbles.

God damn it me, stop saying shit to keep upsetting her even more than she already was.

What I wouldn't give to have inherited even a thousandth of my mother's people skills...

...but since I obviously didn't, I'm stuck making do with the nothing that I do have.

"If you wish to cast me out after betraying your trust like this then I would completely unde-"

"HEY."

Planting a hand on either side of Yahanaseara's face, I push her squishy cheeks upwards until she's looking me right in the eyes.

"I get it, and I'm not mad. Okay?"

I give her cheeks a little squish for added emphasis.

"Mmh?"

"You haven't even been free for a full day yet, of course you'd have some problems to work out," I say. "Really, I get it."

"Yuu doo?"

A distorted reply from a half-smooshed mouth.

"And like I said before, it's my responsibility to help you get situated again."

I slide my hands from her face and move them upwards to the top of her head.

And then I give it a nice, long rustling.

"So if you can't handle sleeping by yourself, then I guess we'll just be sharing a bed until you overcome your fear of the dark."

The only position of responsibility I'm used to is that of a big sister, so I might as well go with what I know.

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