The norm with Sendai-san — 89
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I exited the old school building and head for the entrance to the elevator.
The hallway is so quiet that one is under the illusion that there is no one in the school, although there is no one in the school. If it had been dark, I would have gotten scared and started running, but it was still light outside today. Walking at a brisk pace, I reach the shoe box without passing anyone.
I put on my shoes and go outside.
Shivering from the chill of the wind, I turn around.
Sendai-san is gone.
Obviously.
I told her to come after ten minutes, and Sendai-san abides by that. If she didn’t want to abide by it, she would be next to me just because we have the same destination.
I am calling Sendai-san today. We promised not to get involved at school, although we could kill some time if we went home together.
I exhale.
I can tell that the temperature is lower than it was this time last year by the cool air, which is not so gentle but not so gentle that it turns the area white.
It is cold without Sendai-san.
——That’s wrong.
In the music preparation room, Sendai-san was so close that it was hot, but that was just warm because of the proximity of other people’s body heat. It would have been warm even without Sendai-san, and the reason it’s cold now is just because it’s too cold outside, not because Sendai-san isn’t there.
I look forward.
If I take it easy, Sendai-san will catch up with me.
It was that she suddenly hugged me, or the words she used to deny my remaining here.
Everything that Sendai-san did and said bothers me, but I don’t have time to worry about such things. If I think about it too deeply, I get stuck, and everything Sendai-san does seems to make sense.
I leave the school gate and head for home in a hurry, not too out of breath.
In the city, I pass by many people and a number of stores. Then I stop in front of a supermarket where I stop several times a week.
I didn’t know there was nothing in the fridge today.
No frozen foods, no retort pouch foods, no instant noodles. There was absolutely nothing that looked easily edible.
If Sendai-san hadn’t done something stupid like running at full speed, I would have had just a little time to buy a few things.
I walk into the supermarket and hold the basket.
Cabbage and potatoes.
I put some retort curry and stew and some frozen foods in the basket. Then, after some hesitation, I threw in some pork, chicken, and curry roux to pay the bill. It had been about twenty minutes when I went outside with a heavier bag than usual.
I looked at my phone and saw that I had received several messages from Sendai-san, who had apparently arrived at the apartment earlier.
I stop myself from sending a reply.
After what happened today, I wish Sendai-san would leave.
Instead of telling her to leave the music prep room after ten minutes, I should have told her she didn’t have to come today. I don’t know what kind of face I should put on to meet Sendai-san, who has suddenly done something she never did before.
I shake the bag full of things I don’t usually buy.
The weight on my arms slows my walking speed.
I walk slowly and sluggishly, dragging my feet as if I were dragging my feet, and little by little I approach the house. I saw the lights of the apartment building and entered the entrance. Then I heard a gruff voice.
「Isn’t it late for you to have left ten minutes earlier? You’re not looking at your phone.」
I looked at the wall at the familiar voice and saw Sendai-san, who could not have been there. The head of her nose was a little red, indicating that the hot Sendai-san had made herself wait so long that she looked cold.
「I was waiting.」
「Of course, you’ll surely waiting. I’d be surprised if I told you to come back after ten minutes and used the answering machine. It’s cold today. Don’t stop by.」
If she was in cold, she should have left.
I was about to say so when I showed her the bag in my hand.
「Here.」
「What? You want me to carry your luggage?」
「Ingredients for dinner prepared by Sendai-san.」
I push my luggage to Sendai-san and unlock the locked entrance door.
「I’ll make Miyagi’s dinner today?」
「Because it’s an order.」
When I said the words I could not refute, Sendai-san muttered, “I see,” and started walking. We both get on the elevator and get off at the sixth floor. Sendai-san does not hold my hands or chat with me. We take off our shoes at the entrance and go straight to the kitchen.
I turn on the lights and air conditioner, and Sendai-san begins to put away the things in the bag. It’s not awkward, but there is nothing to talk about. Sendai-san is so normal that it’s hard to believe she hugged me in the music preparation room.
Generally, she has a face like nothing is wrong. Usually I get irritated with Sendai-san like that, but today I feel relieved. If she looks at me as if there is something wrong, it is hard for me to be with her.
I wait for her to finish cleaning up and give her 5,000 yen.
「What if I tell you I don’t want that?」
Sendai-san looks at me as if she is seeing 5,000 yen for the first time. But this is a kind of ritual, and our relationship would not be established without the 5,000 yen. If Sendai-san starts cooking meals here without compensation, that would cease to be an order, and it would look like he was influenced by her silly talk about having dinner together after graduation.
Having a meal cooked for you today is a whole other story.
Sometimes I want to eat something that someone else has made.
That’s just what I thought.
「If you want to leave, don’t take it.」
As I was about to put away the 5,000 yen that was about to go nowhere, Sendai-san pulled it away.
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「Thanks. I thought you were making dinner tonight.」
Sendai, who has put 5,000 yen in her wallet, asks me.
「Yes.」
「Can I make it first, eat it, and then study?」
「Okay.」
「So, what should I make?」
「Just make it up as you go.」
When I said this with a light heart, Sendai-san, who was looking into the refrigerator, looked not at the refrigerator but at me.
「Appropriate? If you went out of your way to buy ingredients, doesn’t that mean you have something you want to eat?」
「Anything is fine. I don’t cook and I don’t know what to buy, so I just bought it at random.」
「Too much of a no-plan?」
「Because I don’t know.」
When I answered honestly, Sendai-san grunted. Then she slammed the refrigerator shut and stood up.
「I’m not a great cook either, and I can’t just go shopping and cook a random meal.」
「Well, I bought it, and I’ll heat it up.」
I point to the retort food on the counter table.
「You can warm it up, but… That doesn’t mean I made dinner, so let’s make curry. You have potatoes and meat. Onions and carrots were not here, but that’s okay.」
Since the person who gave the order said it was still okay, it would be easier to just to eat retort food. However, Sendai-san, who has a strange sense of discipline, does not approve of my order of eating those. I don’t dislike her a little seriousness like that, but it is troublesome sometimes.
If she did everything just right, she wouldn’t have to meddle in my career path. That way I wouldn’t have to think about anything else.
「I’ll leave it to you.」
There are many things I want to say, but I decide to let Sendai-san cook what she wants to cook, and I leave the kitchen. I sit on a chair at the counter table and look at Sendai-san from the living room side.
It is useless to say anything to her once she has made up her mind.
As proof, even before I said I would leave it to her, Sendai-san was already washing the potatoes with pots and knives lined up.
I don’t think that the act of『eating dinner together』as Sendai-san calls it includes cooking, but it is not bad to see someone cooking. I am relieved that there is someone other than me in this house.
And I consider it desirable that this someone is Sendai-san, and it is also desirable that this kind of thing continues as a matter of course. But the norm that Sendai-san creates is one that may disappear one day at her whim.
Even if she feels that way today, it may change tomorrow.
When I think about it, I feel a little heavy.
Besides, looking at Sendai-san it seems as if she is just trying to fit herself in, as if she is reading a magazine in order to talk with Ibaraki-san. It seems that there is no advantage to match me, but it is more natural to think so.
I ask Sendai-san, who is frying peeled, chopped, and shaped potatoes.
「…Sendai-san, why don’t you stay here?」
Not so much for courage.
But it was something I wanted to ask but had a hard time hearing, so my mouth didn’t move easily and my voice choked. Perhaps that’s why my tone sounded like I said something very important, and I regret a little that I didn’t say it.
Sendai-san said nothing.
I didn’t mean to say anything in a voice so quiet that I couldn’t be heard, but Sendai-san kept on making curry.
I am not going to urge her to do so because she haven’t responded.
As I jostle my forehead against the counter table, I hear Sendai-san’s voice.
「Does that mean you want me to stay here?」
「I’m the one asking the questions.」
I looked up and saw Sendai-san, who was holding a cabbage in her hand, as if she was making a salad.
「I’m not going to the college here.」
The vague question I uttered was well intended and answered as I imagined it would be. I knew that, but I wanted to complain to her for not bending to my way of thinking.
「…If you live with others, you can do it here too.」
「I don’t want to do that here.」
Sendai-san answered shortly and began chopping the cabbage. Then she continued in a voice that could be muffled by the thumping sound.
「Eating dinner with Miyagi is also a good idea, and—— How many months left?」
She deliberately asks.
「You can think for yourself.」
「Graduation at the beginning of March, very little school in February, maybe December and January?」
「Perhaps.」
The graduation ceremony is not so close as soon.
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Still, the thought that Sendai-san might not come in February makes me depressed about eating now. This room is cold with only one side open. It is just that, but I think Sendai-san should be next to me. That’s the way it’s supposed to be, and I need to be there as a matter of course.
If this is going to happen, I wish for a moment that I had done something about it that day on my summer vacation. Although I have concluded that something like that is something I shouldn’t have done, I feel that if I had managed to do so, I could have told Sendai-san that I would have applied to the same university as Maika before thinking about something trivial.
But the reality is different.
We were out of control and I still can’t decide where this is going. In the first place, I keep running away from choosing, not knowing if I will pass the exam or not, and only deciding if I pass the exam.
However, I have too many memories of this house with Sendai-san, and I want to get away from this house.
That was the only thing that was unlikely to change.
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