Chapter 136: Chapter 131: Lia’s Frustrations

Rose and her army of volunteers and monsters reached the enemy camp to already find it in disarray. Amelia was many things, but when she was going all-out, subtle was not one of them. Rose could trace her passage simply by the carnage that was left in her wake. After a few moments, the enemy noticed their presence, and the disoriented soldiers began rushing to meet Rose’s army in combat.

It didn’t go well for them, for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, Rose’s army was prepared for the storm; she had had the mages that had stayed back at base cast enchantments on the strike team to ward off the wind and rain as well as grant increased sight in the poor conditions they were in. It was a process that sucked the Mana of those enchanted to fuel itself, and they could only keep it up for half an hour more, but the effect was striking.

As far as Rose’s army was concerned, there might as well have not even been any storm, and that alone gave them a significant edge in fights. Furthermore, the soldiers were disoriented from Amelia’s assault, and had been in the midst of hurriedly getting ready to head deeper into camp to help however they could.

The bulk of Rose’s army struck into the defenders, washing over the confused soldiers like a wave. Now that Rose could be confident that the prisoners would be rescued, the objective of her raid had shifted; before, there was going to be an exploratory stealth mission to locate the captives, followed by the actual raid if it was determined that rescue was feasible with the forces she had.

Now, she was simply capitalizing on the chaos that Amelia caused and getting as many people converted as was physically possible. And that meant she had to be extremely precise with her timing; the longer she stayed, the more likely it was that the enemy would be able to mount an organized resistance and cause significant damage to Rose’s troops.

In addition to her job at the front lines of the battle, Rose was juggling keeping track of how coordinated the enemy was acting and determining if anyone high-level was joining the conflict. She imagined that Amelia had monopolized the attention of most of the high-level people in this camp, but she needed to be able to respond quickly if some other threat appeared.

Fortunately, as the minutes wore on, the worst that showed up were a couple of level two hundreds. Even bound as she was, those were trivial for Rose to deal with; they lacked both the experience and stats that would be necessary to put up a real fight. Even so, after about ten minutes Rose decided to sound the retreat; Amelia had almost certainly concluded her business, and someone had clearly taken command and had begun a counterattack.

Rose used the monsters she had brought with them as a sacrifice, forcing them to the front and using them to draw the attention of the defenders in a similar manner to how a lizard would drop its tail to distract predators. The monsters represented a tangible threat that had to be dealt with, and while the defenders were busy, the sapient members of the swarm escaped with every cocoon they could carry.

All in all, Rose’s part of the mission had been a rousing success. Theoretically, things could have gone wrong with Amelia, but Rose didn’t think it was very likely; while unbound, Amelia was simply too overwhelmingly powerful for Rose to think that anything less than ten max-level people working together would be able to threaten her.

And, a couple of hours later when she had returned to the fort they were using as a meeting place, her suspicions were proven correct. Amelia was waiting near the entrance, a slightly worried look on her face. “So, how’d it go?”

“Pretty well, I think.” Rose replied. “We played it pretty cautiously and used monsters as shields, so no one sapient died. We lost most of the monsters we took with us, but that was to be expected. You seem to have really thrown them off-balance, so we really just ended up cleaning up parts of the camp that were already in disarray. How were things on your end?”

“A couple of max-level people showed up to try and guard the captives, but they weren’t too much trouble. Unfortunately, in order to keep my binding undone I had to keep telling them that I’d leave them alone if they ran, and they actually teleported away after a brief fight. I was hoping some delayed-activation spells I had cast on one of them would get them, but the important parts, the ones that’d cover him in modeling wax and teleport him here, were countered.”

“That’s to be expected.” Rose said. “I’d be surprised if they didn’t have some sort of contingency plan set in place when they went to stand against you. They’re valuable assets, and not worth risking over a couple of prisoners.”

“I bet Jerry just didn’t want us to get our hands on them so easily.” Amelia said bitterly. “Whenever I went to try anything decisive, it felt like my bindings would reapply if I went through with it. I figured you’d prefer the guaranteed completion of the mission over a much riskier fight, so I didn’t try anything.”

“Yes.” Rose confirmed. “If there’s even a chance of losing you in a situation like that, then it’s not worth doing. Not only because you’re irreplaceable for our army, but because you’re irreplaceable in my heart, too.”

Amelia blushed at the sudden romantic words. “T-thank you.” She said. “Um, should we head home now or do you have more you need to do?”

“Home is good.” Rose said. “I’m a little worried about Lia.”

Amelia nodded, and after only a moment they found themselves in their living room. “There you two are.” Connie said, looking up from her phone. “We need to talk.”

“Is everything alright?” Rose asked.

Connie sighed and put her phone back in her pocket. “Amelia, could you take us to one of the meeting rooms on the work floor? I’d like to have this discussion where we’re not at risk of waking people up.”

“Um, yeah.” Amelia replied. She cast another spell, and the three were transported to the lower level of Rose’s tree. “What’s this about?”

“It’s about Lia.” Connie said, taking a seat in one of the chairs. “I’m worried about her.”

“What in particular are you worried about?” Rose asked, sitting down across from Connie. “Did she take knowing that people were dying worse than we thought she would?”

“Or is she mad that we sent her back?” Amelia asked, sitting down next to Rose. “Because I still maintain that was the right call.”

Connie shook her head. “I think she understands that sending her back was right, it’s…not about this incident, not really. She and Chrys got to talking, and I was only there for part of their discussion, but I’ve been slowly piecing things together and I think we need to talk about this now. First…did you know that, a week or two back, she asked me how much Blood Money it would take to make her a Hero?”

Amelia’s eyes went wide. “What possible reason could she want that for?! It’s – I mean…being a Hero is suffering, you know? I don’t want to put her through that!”

“It’s gotten better since the Urge fell out of use, but I have to agree.” Rose said. “There’s a lot of responsibility involved with that, and it’s a lot to put on her shoulders when she already has so much to deal with.”

“That’s the problem.” Connie said. “She already feels like she has that responsibility. I denied her for reasons unrelated to that, there are real downsides to being a Hero that she is unaware of, but I’m afraid that she’s expecting too much from herself, and I hate to say that we’re the problem.”

“What do you mean?” Rose asked, frowning deeply. “We’ve told her multiple times that she doesn’t need to take on as much as she’s trying to, not yet.”

“Yes, but she doesn’t think that way. From what I gathered, she feels completely useless. In fact, she said that she feels that everything that’s gone right has done so in spite of her involvement, not because of it.”

“That’s not true.” Amelia protested weakly. “Surely, she can see that, right? None of us would be here were it not for her.”

Connie gave another sigh. “I tried to tell her that, but I got the impression that she didn’t believe me. To me, it seems like she thinks that, had the past gone differently and you had chosen someone else to love, things would still be the same. Like it’s just luck that she’s where she is now.”

“Absolutely not!” Amelia said emphatically. “She doesn’t get it, there’s something about her, something different. No one made me feel anything while I was still under the Urge, Lia was the only person that I ever felt anything around. You two know what I’m talking about, right? You must have felt it too.”

“I know what you mean, but I think Connie has a point.” Rose replied. “Lia herself can’t see that. But…Connie, you said that we were the problem, right? Could you elaborate a little more?”

Connie nodded. “She’s comparing herself to us.” She said flatly. “And, in all fairness, I can see the logic behind it; she’s dating a god and the most powerful Hero who ever lived, and is married to the most important woman in the history of this plane. Whether we feel like it or not, we’re larger than life figures, people that are entirely separate from the kind of person Lia grew up as.

“I think…I think we need to rethink how we’re handling her.” Connie admitted. “She’s not the kind of person who’s content to watch from afar, and I’m worried that she’ll do something drastic if things keep going like they are. The three of us can see that she has a future, that if she just keeps learning and growing at the rate she is now that she’ll be fully capable of more in a few years, but she can’t see that.

“She thinks that, by the time she’s ready, everything will be over. And she thinks that, even then, she still won’t measure up to us. Simply put, she needs something to do, something that doesn’t feel like we’re just giving her work for the sake of it. She seems drawn to the idea of fighting, but I think that’s because it’s something she can do in addition to what you’re doing, that she feels that if she’s out there fighting, she’s not making things worse by forcing herself into work that other people are better at.”

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Rose drummed her fingers on the table thoughtfully. “We need to talk with her about this.” She said. “We can’t find her something that’ll actually feel fulfilling for her to do unless we can work it out together.”

“Let me see if…” Amelia suddenly trailed off, alarm spreading across her face. “She’s not in our house. She was in bed earlier, right?”

“Yeah.” Connie said. “And…she’s not in the Dimension of Discounts, either.”

Rose frowned, trying to think of where her wife could have gone. She wasn’t liable to have left Rose’s tree, there wasn’t anything for her to do out in the Spine, but…Rose’s thoughts paused as she made a realization. It often didn’t feel like it because she kept her tree’s senses blocked, but this tree was her. If she just…let herself feel through the tree, she could try and narrow down Lia’s location.

Fortunately, most of the swarm was asleep at this point, and almost no one but monsters were out and about. Monsters were fairly easy to distinguish from people, they moved in very predictable patterns and often weren’t even humanoid, so Rose was able to narrow her search down quite quickly. And, of the four or five people that were moving around the streets, one stood out.

“Someone’s coming towards the meeting rooms.” Rose said. “Amelia, check the streets leading to here.”

Amelia nodded, and after a moment sagged in relief. “Yeah, it’s her.” She confirmed. “She’s running, so she’ll be here in just under a minute. She must have woken up, tried to check up on us with her swarm senses, and realized that we’re here.”

True to Amelia’s words, the door burst open a short while later. “Y-you two!” She panted. “You’re back, why are you in this room?!” She paused, seemingly noticing Connie for the first time. “And I thought you were going to wake me up when they got back!”

“I was, but I needed to talk with them first.” Connie replied defensively. “I didn’t think you’d wake up in the five or ten minutes we were going to be gone for.”

“Still, you have good timing.” Rose said, standing up and walking over to Lia. “We need to talk with you, too.”

“Y-you do?” Lia said, taken aback. “What’s this about?”

Rose scooped Lia up into her arms. “It’s about how we’ve wronged you.” She said.

“But you haven’t –”

“I have, and I feel bad about it.” Rose said. “I was so caught up in trying to protect you and the swarm that I didn’t realize how you were feeling. You’re not useless, and if I ever hear that you’ve thought that again, we’re going to sit here and have this conversation again, understand?”

“W-what conversation?” Lia stammered.

“Lia, at the end of the day, a lot of things in life boil down to luck. You may have gotten this position seemingly out of nowhere, and it may feel completely undeserved, but that’s how life is. There’s always some element of luck to life, be it the environment into which you’re born, or just happening to meet the right person at the right time. What’s important is that you’ve been doing your best to make the most of it and fill the role you’ve been given. No one is going to fault you for not somehow being amazing at everything your first go at it. Still, I can understand why you’d be frustrated with your situation, and I think it’s important to take steps to fix that. What can we do that would help you feel like you’re doing your part?”

“I don’t know.” Lia replied quietly. “That’s the problem. Everything I do, someone else can do better. And if I insist on doing it anyway, then it only means that I’m making people go to extra effort or suffer under awful policies just to satisfy my own pride. Mistakes I make don’t affect me, they affect everyone else, and I can’t accept that. So, there’s nothing for me to do but grin and bear it.”

Lia climbed out of Rose’s embrace and sat down on the table, pushing away one of the chairs slightly so she could hang her legs over the side. “That’s why I want to fight. If I’m out there fighting, I can protect my people myself, and I can do it in a way that doesn’t hurt them if I fail.”

“Lia, pushing yourself to fight is going to make them feel worse.” Amelia said. “I went on a mission to rescue some prisoners of war from today’s battle, and do you know what the first thing one of them asked me was? She wanted to know if you were okay. She had been defeated in battle and then chained up and subject to interrogation for hours, and she just wanted some confirmation that you were fine. That’s the kind of people I’ve set you up to rule.”

“Then what’s my purpose?!” Lia wailed. “Sit here and learn by watching people fix all the problems I’m supposed to be training to fix?  By the time my training’s over, I won’t have anything left to do. I’m just a figurehead!”

There was a prolonged silence, and it was broken by Connie and Lia trying to speak at the same time.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have –”

“Lia, could I…no, you first.”

Lia paused for a moment. “I shouldn’t have said that.” She said. “I know you’re trying your best to accommodate me, and I know I’m just…throwing a fit like a child because I’m trying to do things I’m not ready for yet. You don’t need to go out of your way for me, I’ll figure it out.”

“Absolutely not.” Rose said firmly. “Lia, I know it really doesn’t feel like it to you, but I owe you everything. Amelia feels the same, and I know Connie is indebted to you as well. It wouldn’t be the same if some other girl was queen of the swarm, the environment we’ve fostered is entirely because you are you. And, even more than that, as your wife I feel it is my duty to make sure you are happy and cared for, and I can’t let you suffer like this.”

Lia hesitated. “Um…thank you, and sorry. Uh, Connie, you had something to ask?”

Connie nodded. “I wanted your permission to take a copy of your Skills and Titles.” She said. “I’m going to look them over and see if there’s anything in there that we can use. You have a lot of really interesting things, and I’m sure there’s something tangible that only you can do.

“And…if you could wait for a week, I think I have an idea for something that can help accelerate your training, at least in part. You were always going to be ready before you started conquering other planes, but if this works, we might be able to get you ready in time to help in conquering this one and getting it settled.”

“You think so?” Lia asked hopefully.

“I’m pretty sure. I’m going to need to do some prep work, though, so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m not around as much this next week. In the meantime, why don’t you take a week off? I don’t think you’ve had any sort of extended break since you came back to life.”

“She’s got a point there.” Rose said. “You always get on our cases about working too much, but you’re always trying to work harder, too. So, this next week, there’ll be no talking about war in the house, got it?” She ordered. “You take the time and focus entirely on you. I don’t care if you’re leveling up or lounging at home, just as long as you’re not trying to get involved in anything big.”

Lia sighed. “I suppose I don’t have any choice in the matter, do I?”

“No.” Rose said. “Wife’s orders.”

“Fine, but will you promise me that if anything really important comes up that you’ll at least let me know?” Lia asked. “I don’t want to be completely in the dark if all of a sudden we lose an army or something.”

“We’ll let you know, but there won’t be anything.” Amelia said confidently. “We can handle one week.”

“That’s fine with me as well.” Rose said. “Now, let’s get back to bed, okay? It’s late and we all need the rest.”