Chapter 20: Chapter 19: Bookkeeping

Pager went off, informing Rose that Lia had returned and was seeking her again. She turned to find Lia walking up to her, a satisfied expression on her face.

How did it go? Rose asked. Judging by your face, pretty well, right?

We were only a few dozen feet from the burrow. They should be finished within the hour.

Good to hear. I have decided on your assignment, but, before I give it to you, I need to ask you a few questions.

Oh? Lia asked curiously. What are those?

I want to know what exactly you desire from this conquest. Of course, I’m not questioning your motives, I’m just seeking to complete the task you have set me in the way that closest aligns to your wishes.

I see. Um…well, I want to convert as many goblins as possible, but I really don’t care if we have to kill…well, most of them. I’ve told you about the Dimension of Discounts, right?

I…do not believe you have. Please, enlighten me.

Essentially, any time I or anything in the swarm kills a monster, I get a portion of the highest of its Health, Mana, or Stamina as Blood Money. This Blood Money can be used to buy items and even Skills in the Dimension of Discounts. I’m currently trying to save up to get a Skill that lets me like…search it so it’s less random.

That’s…amazing. Rose replied. I’ve never heard of such a thing before.

Me neither, but I have it. Amelia made it, apparently. So…it really doesn’t matter if goblins get killed. I would much rather current members of the swarm stay alive than die trying to convert a goblin instead of killing it. The corpse can be used for modeling wax, so it’s not like it’s a big waste, either.

Rose nodded. Shall I assume you prefer methods that minimize damage to the swarm, even if they take a bit more time and are more lethal?

Yes. But…really, that’s all I want from this. More converted goblins, more Blood Money, and…well, obviously any treasure that the dungeon spawned in here, but looking for that is probably going to be more efficient once we’ve cleared the area.

Understood. I will prioritize that, then.

Thanks a bunch. So…what are your orders?

You will be in charge of converting everything that comes in here. Rose said. In particular, I would like you to focus on magic users. Not the lightborn kind of magic user, ones like the shaman. I would prefer to have as much of a magical edge as possible in the upcoming conflicts, and I believe you will be able to make more magically oriented creatures than I can. I’m imagining not every creature will be able to be made into a magician, so otherwise just focus on increasing our war potential.

This is also to get your level up in time for the final battle against whatever is leading the goblins. As much as I hate putting you at risk, you are our trump card. I understand that conversion really doesn’t take that long, so when you’re not actively converting something, I want you to be practicing magic. Area of effect magic is preferable, but it’s also probably wise to practice a few single target spells for killing the leader of the goblins.

Lia gave Rose a quick nod, then stood up as if she was standing at attention. Understood, Rose. Where should I practice, and do you need anything else from me?

Just here, in the cleared area near all the piles of stuff. I’ll be sending all the cocoons here, so it would be best to have you nearby. Convert things at your own discretion, and if you come across something particularly noteworthy, come see me so I can plan for it.

Oh, and I was meaning to ask your permission to make a few goblins into these things called “Swarm Middle Managers”. They’re not great at combat or manual labor, but they’re a lot better at relaying information to me and giving my orders, and they passively buff workers when they’re near them.

That sounds like a great idea. Actually…take the stack of papers I was going to test, and use it and a rat and see if you can’t get some nice…something or other out of it. It might help with all your managing.

I’ll do that. Now…that’s all I have for you now, so you may leave to your new post whenever.

Yes, Rose! And, I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again; as long as I haven’t explicitly mentioned wanting to use something, you’re free to do whatever you want with it. This extends beyond our little…experiment here, and applies to conversions too. Make whatever you want, whenever you want.

And with that, Lia turned and left, walking back over to the piles of stuff and leaving Rose to her work. It went…well; while her raiding parties sometimes sustained minor injuries or even some deaths, Rose was astounded by just how fast monsters regenerated. All they really had to do was eat some food and they would be healed in an hour or two, and would be ready to be sent out again.

Though…perhaps that was just a feature of the swarm? Rose seemed to remember slowly whittling down some particularly powerful monsters over the course of a few days, though she couldn’t recall the exact monsters she had done this to. Or…maybe all monsters were like this, and stronger monsters just took longer or needed a lot more food? There were just too many unknowns in the situation to say anything for sure.

That aside, the swarm’s numbers slowly but surely began to rise. The group that had been hunting the rats Amelia sent brought back a total of ten, and every hour or two another rat was captured and brought back to add to that number.

The next goblin that was brought back was converted with the papers, and a rat for good measure. To Rose’s delight, she was indeed able to make kobolds, and in this case could make a “Lesser Swarm Bookkeeper”. It was a race that was specialized in…well, bookkeeping. It wasn’t something that was strictly necessary at the moment, but Rose was sure making it would be best for the long term; being able to know exactly what their stores contained was vital when objects could be used in all the different ways the swarm provided.

The conversion took a surprisingly long time, almost an hour. When it was finished, the kobold looked…different than how Rose had expected it to. With the notable exception of the knight and the lightborns, most converted creatures Rose had seen looked...well, pretty similar to how they had before conversion.

The bookkeeper seemed to be one of those exceptions. Rather than the crude leathers the goblin she was made from had been wearing, the bookkeeper was wearing a sharply tailored business suit. And, while her figure wasn’t anywhere near what the knight had, she still had breasts, something that kobolds and goblins generally didn’t have. Her face was much more humanoid than that of the other kobolds, lacking the animalistic muzzle they had, and her light gray fur was neatly combed. Finally, she held a clipboard and pen under one of her arms, and a pair of glasses was tucked neatly into her breast pocket.

In short, were it not for the fact that she was still clearly a kobold and not a ratkin, she didn’t look like she would be out of place in an actual business setting. She walked over, giving Rose a small bow before standing up straight, clearly waiting for orders.

Rose hesitated. Over the past hour she had been mulling over what exactly to do with the bookkeeper, and had eventually come to a conclusion. She…wasn’t sure if this was something that was wholly acceptable, even given Lia’s lax rules on what Rose could do, but…nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Follow me. Rose instructed, and led the bookkeeper over to Lia.

Ah, is this the bookkeeper you were talking about? Lia asked. I…wasn’t expecting her to look like this, but she looks good.

The bookkeeper gave another bow in response, then turned to Rose, a questioning look in her eyes.

Right, um…so…Rose began, this is kind of…presumptuous and impertinent, but I have a request.

You’re in charge right now. Lia replied. It can’t be that bad.

Well, yes, but it’s…outside the scope of normal operations. Rose said uncomfortably. I…was hoping you could enlighten the bookkeeper, much like you enlightened me. I know you’re skittish about enlightening things because you don’t want to use them as just…cannon fodder, but the bookkeeper should, ideally, never leave the base. She should be just as safe as I am, if not safer. And by enlightening her, she’ll be able to actually analyze the data she collects instead of just…collecting it, which should dramatically increase her usefulness.

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Lia was silent for a long moment, then heaved a sigh. You’re right. She said. I…really would have preferred not enlightening anything for…a while, but avoiding it is just self-destructive, isn’t it? I know people are smarter and more effective than monsters, I just…well, I’m scared. It doesn’t feel right bringing them into being in such a dangerous situation.

We don’t resent you for it. Rose soothed. I know I would rather be alive and aware in a dangerous situation than sort of…not aware like I used to be. And it’s not like you’re making soldiers that you plan to just throw away, you’re carefully considering things and only bringing people into safe roles.

Besides, Rose continued, this is something we cannot avoid. If you plan to convert the entire world, then you will be putting people in danger. There is no such thing as a loss-free war, all we can do is try and reduce our casualties as much as possible.

I know. Lia admitted. I think that, at least once I’ve got a bit of a foothold secured, I’m going to offer people the choice to…well, stay off of the front lines. I’ll let them continue their lives exactly as they were before, provided they weren’t criminals or something. I don’t want to force them into this.

I think that’s wise. Rose agreed. People, especially civilians, will be more likely to surrender rather than commit suicide if they know they won’t be forced into fights against their family and friends, and can just…pick up where they left off. It will likely lessen our immediate firepower gain after a battle, but long term…well, I think it will pay off. People will rise to the defense of their homes, and they will surely be stronger than they ever were as civilians.

Lia nodded. I’m glad to hear you agree, your opinion means a lot to me. I was thinking we could even offer…well, designer conversions. If someone wants to join us, we could do our utmost to make them into something they want to be, give them talents they wanted but never had.

An excellent idea. Even if it only brings in a few willing participants…some is better than none. But…I believe we’re getting off topic.

Yeah. Lia said. Um…give me a minute, I haven’t done this on purpose before.

How do you do it? Rose asked curiously. Just out of pure, intellectual, curiosity, of course; I wouldn’t dream of attempting to do it myself. If you want to keep it a secret, it’s fine, I’m just wondering.

No, I can tell you. Uh…well, I just sorta…feel it out, I think. After I did you, I got this sorta…gut instinct that tells me how to do it. I think I can only do it every once in a while, it…well, it feels like there are conditions and I’m not sure what they are. I just know I can’t do it in quick succession. Then I just sort of focus, and…Lia paused, turning to stare at the bookkeeper.

After another couple of moments of staring, she spoke up. Be enlightened. She commanded. Her words were…more than they had been just a moment prior. There was an immense sense of weight, as if Lia wasn’t just commanding the bookkeeper, but the universe itself.

The bookkeeper blinked, and a sort of light filled her eyes, one that hadn’t been present before. She cast her eyes around, then sank to a knee in reverence. “Thank you, my Queen.” She said. “I am honored.”

Ah. Uh, no problem. Would you like a name or…?

“I would like nothing more right now.”

Umm…you’ll be…Lily, yeah. Rose will be in charge of you, so just…do whatever she says, alright?

“Of course, my Queen.” Lily replied, turning to Rose. “How may I help?”

Begin taking stock of…well, everything. Rose said. I want to know exactly what we have. If you can, try and measure out things like modeling wax that we can’t really separate into singular items, but if you can’t, just give me a ballpark estimate. For everything else that can be counted, like lanterns and armor and stuff, just count them up. Don’t worry about separating by condition or size or anything, I just need the raw numbers for now.

“At once.” Lily said, standing up and smoothing out her completely unwrinkled suit. “I will have it done by morning.”

Wait, wait, wait, time out. Lia said. There’s been something I’ve been meaning to talk with Rose about, and now that there’s another…well, person among us, I don’t think it can wait any longer.

What’s that, Lia? Rose asked, tilting her head in confusion. Have I been doing something to displease you, or have I been underperforming? Just say the word, and I’ll do my utmost to correct my behavior.

No, nothing like that. Lia said quickly. You’ve been but nothing but fantastic; I have no complaints about your work or your attitude. I…just, it’s your work ethic that needs changing. Before you say anything, no, it’s not that you’ve been slacking off or anything like that. It’s that you’ve been working too hard.

Too…hard? Rose asked. I’m not sure I understand. How can I be working too hard?

Right, well, this is something we’ve found out since the time of the Ruby Emperor, so I can’t really expect you to know if you died closer to when he was alive than now. But…well, the gist is, people need breaks. Working around the clock is just…not healthy, and it actually drives productivity down in most situations.

I know we don’t really have much room for luxury right now, but you can’t spend all day working. I don’t care if it’s just one fifteen minute break every six hours or something, but I am using my authority as Queen to mandate breaks, effective immediately. And, though I really hope this goes without saying, I’m mandating longer breaks for eating and sleeping. Three thirty minute meals a day and eight hours of sleep to be precise.

Or…well, actually, those numbers are probably different now that we’re monsters, but the point is that if I find out any member of the swarm hasn’t been eating properly or getting enough sleep because they’re too busy working, I’m going to be cross. Not just because it will drive down productivity in the long run, but because it’s just not good for physical or mental health.

Lia turned to Lily. As soon as you have finished taking inventory for Rose, I need you to draft out a schedule for breaks and meals. I would leave it up to the discretion of the individual, but I’m not sure I trust Rose or the non-enlightened swarm members to properly take the breaks if I do. Stagger the breaks so that we’ve only got a portion taking a break at each time, including the meal and sleep breaks.

We’ll adjust the time for meals and sleeping once we have a better idea of how much we need, but until then block them out exactly like I described earlier, understood?

“Yes, my Queen.” Lily replied, giving her a bow. “Consider it done.”

Thank you. Lia turned back to Rose. Rose, you are taking your first fifteen minute break now, followed immediately by a half-hour meal.

But, Lia, I–

No buts. I don’t care if you don’t want to, I’m not letting you run yourself ragged on my watch. Now, hop to it.

Rose sighed, but nodded. Yes, Lia.

Good. Now, before you go, was there anything else you needed from me? If you ask within the next forty five minutes, I will ignore you and continue doing what I’ve been doing. If you just want to chat, though, that’s fine.

I…no, that is all. Thanks for your help, Lia.

Anytime. Now, go get on your butt and stop working, understood?

U-understood.