Chapter 106: Chapter 102: It’s Lonely at the Top

After Lia and her lovers finished soaking in the springs, they took some time to explore the facility further. It was…less empty than Lia had expected; she had assumed she would need to spend a fair chunk of Blood Money to make it do anything more than the bare minimum, but that wasn’t actually the case.

The building, though small, was better than any inn Lia had ever seen; there was one singular bedroom with an extra-large bed, a room filled with strange tables that were supposedly used for games, and a small dining room.

“We should stay here tonight!” Amelia said cheerfully. “Make it a real getaway!”

“Sure.” Lia said. “What do you say we try out these games?”

“Can Connie play with us?” Amelia asked. “She’d be really good for explaining the rules and showing us how the games are played, and if she’s going to man all these facilities, it’d be good to get to know her better.”

“I don’t see why not, if she has time.” Lia said, walking over to the call button. “Are you okay with that, Rose?”

“By all means.” Rose said. “I would love to get to know Connie better.”

Lia nodded, then pressed the call button. After a moment, Connie walked into the room. “Good timing.” She said, frowning slightly. “Lia, would you mind coming back here tomorrow morning? The God of Heroes wishes to talk with you, and he won’t tell me what it’s about, but he also won’t take no for an answer.”

“That’s fine, we were actually planning to stay overnight here, so it won’t even be out of the way.”

“Thank you.” Connie said, giving Lia a guilty smile. “Now, what can I do for you?”

“We were hoping you would play some of these games with us.” Lia said. “You would be the best at explaining the rules, and since you’ll probably have more contact with Amelia and Rose now that we have these facilities, we want to get to know you better.”

Connie shot Amelia an oddly wary look. “I don’t see any issues with that.” She said slowly. “But I’m afraid knowing about my personal life isn’t going to help you out in any way.”

“It’s not about that.” Rose said. “Can’t we want to get to know you without having some benefit in it for us?” She paused for a moment before continuing. “Besides…you look…lonely. I know how it feels to be at the top, unable to truly associate with others and feeling completely alone. It might be a little different, since my feelings were quite muted and you do have other people to talk with, but…I get the sense that you feel the same.”

Connie flinched as if she had been struck. “N-no.” She stammered, face a mess of conflicting emotions. “I’m doing fine.”

“You don’t…look like it.” Lia said. “And…you’re always so happy when we have our weekly chats. Are you sure you’re not a little lonely? Because we can always take a little more time and spend it with you if you like, no one should be alone.”

“I’m fine.” Connie hissed. “I’ve been happy like this for millennia, I can keep being happy like this for millennia more.”

Rose sighed, walking over to Connie and placing her hands on Connie’s shoulders. “Connie.” She said flatly. “I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you never once wished you had more people to talk to.”

Connie paused, casting her gaze to the side. “It’s been millennia.” She said. “Of course I would experience every emotion over that period of time. Anyone would feel alone at some point during that.”

“Connie.” Rose repeated. “That’s not a no.”

“So what does it matter if I felt lonely a few times? It always passed, and this, too, will pass!”

“So you are lonely, then.” Rose said gently.

Connie froze. “So what?!” She wailed. “I’m a goddess, we’re supposed to be lonely, that’s what being at the top means! We watch over and guide the people, but we can never get attached, it never ends well! Mortals always die, and leave us to grieve! And don’t talk about the afterlife, because it’s not the same!”

Tentatively, Rose reached up and grabbed Connie into a hug. “Then we just have to not die, right? Lia can bring Amelia or I back, so really as long as she’s alive we’re safe.”

“Only if Jerry allows it.” Connie sniffed. “Amelia’s going to become Jerry’s assistant the moment she dies, and you…you’re too strong, she’ll have to expend a huge amount of effort before he lets you come back. And if you’re in a situation where either of you are dying, Lia’s probably dying with you.

‘Besides, gods and mortals aren’t able to meet except in special circumstances, a god can’t descend to the mortal planes without permission, and mortals cannot teleport into the planes of the gods. It just doesn’t work.”

“Connie, we’re here now, and Lia comes to chat once a week. We can meet whenever we want.” Rose said. “And do you really, truly think that we’ll die? I hate to say this without knowing the full extent of how strong people have gotten since I died, but I have a hard time imagining someone who can beat Amelia or myself, and once we feed Lia enough kills, she’ll be the same.”

“B-but…”

“Connie, I know how you feel.” Rose said. “And I know that once I let go of the idea of having to stay aloof and truly let myself know people here in the swarm I’ve been happier than I ever could have believed. I know you’re scared, but you don’t have to suffer in silence; if nothing else we can talk to Jerry, and get you permission to see us, so long as you don’t help us in combat or anything. After all, we can come to see you, and he doesn’t care about that, right? We have options, Connie, so please…trust us. I promise it’ll make you feel better.”

“You’re way too empathetic for someone who only recently learned how to feel.” Connie sniffed, slowly reaching up and returning the hug.

“I had plenty of practice in the afterlife, I think.” Rose said. “Seriously, you can stop holding yourself back; we’re about the most nonstandard group of mortals you’ll ever meet. If things don’t work out with us, then maybe you were right, but if they do, then you’ll be so much happier. Isn’t it worth the risk, just this once?”

There was a long pause, then Connie let out a breath. “Fine.” She said. “This one time, just this once, I’ll allow myself to believe it can work.”

“No more lying to yourself, and no more holding back because of your fears, okay?” Rose said. “We want to be your friends, and that means you don’t need to hide anything from us. We’ll accept you no matter what.”

“No matter what?” Connie asked.

“No matter what.” Lia confirmed. “Please, don’t act reserved around us; every friend I can get that doesn’t have some form of swarm conditioning is welcome.”

Connie’s gaze strayed to Amelia, who nodded. “You already know how I feel on the subject.” She said. “I’m all for it.”

Connie let go of her hug, reaching up and wiping her moist eyes. “Fine, fine. But what I say stays between us, okay?”

“We won’t tell if you won’t.” Lia said, giving Connie a smile.

Connie marched over to Lia, then hesitated, stopping in place before Amelia pushed her towards Lia. “You just promised you wouldn’t hold back.” Amelia urged. “Go on.”

Connie gave Amelia a flat look, but then sighed and turned back to Lia, who was growing somewhat confused. “Lia.” Connie said hesitantly. “I…um, I don’t know how to say this, and I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but it looks like someone isn’t going to let me go until I say something.”

Connie gave Amelia yet another annoyed glance, but it was…softer somehow. “I…I don’t think I was joking when I kept calling you charming. Not entirely, anyway. I’m not very experienced in this matter, but I think there’s a chance I might have fallen for you? I just…I look forward to your visits so much, being able to talk with someone who doesn’t treat me with reverence or is a colleague is nice, and I, um, really like your personality.”

She paused, glancing back at Rose. “And maybe Rose too? I can’t say for sure until I get to know her better, and this may just be a result of being in a very emotionally charged situation and getting caught up in the flow as she told me what I secretly wanted to hear, but…I’m feeling the same way about her that I did about you when we first started interacting.”

She paused, fidgeting like a schoolgirl who had just worked up the courage to tell her crush how she felt. “S-sorry.” She said. “I know you don’t feel the same way about me, and this is probably making things awkward, so we can just, um…forget about this.” She said lamely.

Lia gave Connie a gentle smile, grabbing her hand. “Connie, I’m glad you told me,” Lia said, “And were the situation different, I would love to try dating you. However, by entering into a relationship with me, you would also have to enter one with Rose and Amelia. And, unless you can truly love Amelia, and Amelia and Rose can love you, I don’t feel comfortable entering into a relationship with you.”

“I – I know.” Connie said sadly. “But…we can still stay friends, right? Like nothing ever happened?”

“Of course.” Lia said. “I would love to.”

“For the record, I wouldn’t mind trying things with Connie either.” Rose said. “I’ll admit that something about her is triggering a desire to pamper and protect her.”

You are reading story Swarming Sovereignty at novel35.com

Connie blushed furiously. “I – I’m not a child!” She said defensively. “But…thank you.”

“Of course, I’ll love her just as much as you two.” Amelia said cheerfully. “So don’t hold back on my account.”

Lia gave Amelia a sharp look. “You are not doing that again.” She said.

“I sure am.” Amelia replied. “In fact, I have the spell pre-cast, waiting for me to put the final touch on it. You couldn’t stop me if you tried.”

“I thought we were past this, Amelia.” Rose said. “That you had learned why this isn’t a good thing.”

“I understand why it’s not good to do this to others, but nothing you can say will convince me that it’s not okay to do to myself. Like I said last time, I want to love her, so I’m just skipping a few steps.”

“And if it doesn’t work out?” Rose asked. “You’ll be heartbroken.”

“For a few minutes, and then I won’t.” Amelia replied. “Just like everyone else can move on from love, so can I, it’s just…faster. And you can’t seriously tell me you think my feelings are less real because I made them myself, not after everything we’ve been through. Remember, to some extent everyone’s feelings are just what they want to feel at the moment, it’s just more obvious for me. And I won’t budge on this, it’s perfectly ethical.”

She turned back to Connie. “And, Connie, I’m sorry for capturing you before.” She said. “I was confused and thought you were an enemy. I know it doesn’t excuse my actions, but I hope we can at least try and start fresh. If you need, please, ask me anything, and I will do my utmost to give it to you.”

“I…I need some time to think on that.” Connie said. “Can you all wait until the morning?”

“Of course.” Lia said, squeezing Connie’s hand gently. “Take all the time you need.”

Connie took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she did. She held it for a moment, then breathed out slowly. “Alright.” She said, voice steadier than it had been a moment before. “Games. So…this one is called ping pong…”

---

Connie stood nervously in front of Jerry’s door, not sure how she was going to approach this. In the end, she decided that there wasn’t a good way, and just knocked.

“Connie?” Jerry asked, opening the door. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” He paused, studying her face. “Ah, I see. How’d it go?”

“What?” Connie asked. “How’d what go?”

“You confessed, didn’t you?” Jerry said, “I can see it on your face.”

Connie groaned. “Not you too!” She said. “Why does everyone think I’m in love with Lia?”

“Because we’ve known you for thousands of years and it’d be stranger if we didn’t realize?” Jerry said. “Regardless, come in, let’s have a talk.”

Connie reluctantly stepped inside, walking over to one of Jerry’s couches and sitting down. “So…fine, you’re right, I did confess. And I know you’re not a huge fan of god-mortal relationships, but –”

“Let me just stop you there.” Jerry said, holding up a hand. “I have no problem with god-mortal relationships. Where’d you get that idea?”

Connie blinked in surprise. “Well, I just sort of figured, you ingrained the differences in status in us and made us very aware of the problems of that sort of relationship.”

“I did.” Jerry said. “And, when framing it that way, I can see how you’d get that impression, that’s my mistake. I was really just trying to make sure you were fully aware of potential issues of this sort of relationship. But, if you believe you’ve found an exception, I’m more than willing to let you try it.

“And I do believe Lia and her lovers are an exception. With Lia and Amelia being able to use Worship they might as well be demigods, and once I figure it out, I fully intend to give Rose the capability to earn and use Blood Money as well, putting her on that level. If you want to try things out with them, then know that you do so with my blessing.

“I want you to be happy, not feel constrained by your status. I know that there are inherent problems with these types of relationships, but they’re not problems that can’t be overcome. I do believe a couple of Amy’s gods are in quite happy relationships with mortals right now, so it can work.”

“I…oh.” Connie said.

“So, again, I really hope this works out for you. But…I’m assuming you’re running into problems with Amelia?” Jerry asked. “Lia seems pretty insistent on everyone loving everyone else, and I know you don’t hold a high opinion of Amelia.”

“She’s matured a lot in these last few months.” Connie admitted. “I don’t think she’ll ever be a saint, but I think she can become a good person. I…could see something happening between us, which isn’t something I thought I’d ever say.”

Jerry was silent for a moment. “Connie…do you think all of this is an accident?”

“Come again?” Connie asked, taken off-guard by the sudden tangent.

“This situation, with Amelia.” Jerry said. “Do you think it’s an accident?”

Connie frowned. “It is, right?” She said. “Just a bug in the system. But…if you’re asking, I take it you don’t think the same?”

“I don’t know.” Jerry admitted. “But I can’t help but feel there’s something wrong here. It’s just…too much of a coincidence. The mistake I made was a simple one that I would usually catch in my double checking of the system, and while I will admit I can make mistakes, I’ve made plenty, it just seems…off.

“For starters, the odds that a soul to appear that is so completely in tune with the way the multiverse works are astronomically low, to the point where I’d call it a statistical impossibility. The fact that she appeared in a world made by me, the foremost innovator and scientist among my peers, and the fact that she of all people was the one who was gifted enough power to alter the system, and then immediately solved a problem with systems that even I couldn’t during a time where my research was stagnating…”

Connie thought on that for a moment. “That…is strange.” She admitted. “But…if it’s not a coincidence, what is it?”

“I don’t know.” Jerry said. “Perhaps, just like there are Administrators for “normal” people, there are Administrators above us. Perhaps whatever creates souls has a will of its own and wanted this to happen. I can’t say for sure, but I’m becoming more and more confident that some higher power wanted this.”

He sighed, looking pensively at the wall behind Connie. “This isn’t to say that I believe our actions are predetermined, that we’re just puppets dancing at the whims of some unseen puppet master, but it’s likely that our actions are being influenced.”

He looked back at Connie. “All of this is to say that you can’t think of them as normal mortals. Lia and Rose may once have been normal mortals, yes, but the moment Amelia decided to support them with her everything they became destined for bigger things. Change is going to sweep through the multiverse once this is all over, and though the swarm will not leave my planes, the ramifications of their actions will be felt everywhere.

“I have no doubt that, given time, I will be forced to make the three of them into Higher Beings, for their own sake, if nothing else. Being at the head of so many people will cause Worship to accumulate slowly, and taking it out of them every once in a while is not a great solution. In the end, the difference between their status and yours will be miniscule.”

He gave another sigh. “Please, don’t let any of this conversation leave this room.” He said. “My opinions would no doubt influence the other gods, and as I am not fully certain of them yet, I would like for the rest of the gods to form their own opinions. When the time is right, I will reveal my thoughts, but…not yet. They may choose to challenge the swarm in their own ways, but that might even be ideal; if the swarm fails, then I was wrong, and it truly was all coincidence. If I’m right, then the challenges will serve as ways for the swarm to grow as a society, and for those three as people.”

“Why tell me, then?” Connie asked.

“Because you made up your mind long ago, and because you wish to get intimately involved.” Jerry said. “I will keep you from any unwanted mental alterations or conversion Amelia may try and throw your way, but…I don’t think that will be an issue, not with Lia and Rose holding her back and her Worship temporarily sealed.

“If the topic ever comes up, conversion is likely safe for you. You…probably won’t get tied into the system Amelia has made, but I could be wrong. Regardless, at the very least you would keep most of your mind intact, and I could scrub the changes if need be. I wouldn’t recommend it, not unless you wish to fully and irreversibly commit to their cause, but it isn’t something to be avoided at all costs.”

Jerry gave her a tired sort of smile. “If you believe this will make you the happiest, then I will fully support your decision. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but…as a poet from Kali’s planes once put it, it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and I agree wholeheartedly.”

“I…thank you, Jerry.” Connie said. “I’ll…I’ll think on this.”

“If you have any other questions, my door is always open. Good luck, Connie.”