Chapter 112: Chapter 108: Connie’s Worries

Right after Connie had left her girlfriends and Chrys to get settled in the bath, she headed straight for Jerry’s room, giving a polite knock on the door.

“Ah, Connie, do come in.” Jerry said, opening the door and motioning for her to step inside. Once she had, Jerry shut the door behind her and took a seat in his living room. “I presume this is about your relationship?” He asked.

“Um, yeah.” Connie said, nervously sitting down across from him. “Well, I was sort of wondering if we could work something out where I could descend to the mortal realm incognito on occasion, so they don’t always have to come to me if we want to be together. Is that something that you would even consider allowing, or should we just stick to the Dimension of Discounts?”

“I’m fine with it, so long as you stay in the World Tree.” Jerry said. “If you go out, there’s the risk of you getting attacked by something strong and inadvertently providing tangible aid beyond what you’re allowed, and you and I both know that’ll make things worse for you and for the swarm. But, so long as you stay inside, I don’t think it’ll be an issue. Just don’t reveal your identity except to the people we’ve agreed on, and we won’t have a problem.”

Connie blinked in surprise. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Jerry confirmed. “If you’re incognito, and just visiting to be with your girlfriends, there’s no reason to keep you from going.”

“Oh. Um…I was also wondering if you could maybe set up a meeting with some of the gods from Amy’s planes that you said were in relationships with mortals, and maybe Kali too?” Connie asked. “I want to do my best to overcome the difficulties our relationship might have, and they seem like a good place to start.”

“I’ll see who’s available.” Jerry replied. “I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to help you out. When are you available?”

“Whenever, really.” Connie replied. “That’s all I needed, though, um…is there anything I could do for you right now? Something short that would only take ten or twenty minutes?”

“Why?” Jerry said, frowning. “That seems a bit of an odd request.”

“Well, Chrys and her par – my girlfriends are soaking in the hot springs right now and I told them I’d be half an hour, thinking this would take longer and there would be negotiations, but it just sorta…worked out, and it’d be awkward to head back so soon and like…hang out in the games room.”

Jerry raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you go soak with them?” He asked. “You’re a part of that relationship too.”

Connie tapped her fingers together, feeling her face grow red. “Well, it’s only been a day or two and I mean it’s so…intimate and I don’t want to intrude on their moment.”

“Connie, they’ve brought their daughter in with them.” Jerry pointed out. “It’s not going to go anywhere more than a kiss or two. And you don’t have to go with just a towel or anything, you can just wear a swimsuit. Think of it like a trip to the swimming pool, a social event and nothing more. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think it would be a good way to bond.”

“A-alright.” Connie said. “I’ll try my best.”

“That’s the spirit.” Jerry said encouragingly. “I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”

Connie nodded uncertainly and standing up. Jerry stood as well, walking over to the door with her. “I’ll let you know what times work for people.” He told her. “I’m guessing we’ll be able to set something up in a few days.”

“Thanks, Jerry.” Connie said. “I really appreciate how accommodating you’re being.”

Jerry waved a hand dismissively. “It’s my job as Administrator to take care of my Higher Beings, not to restrict you without reason. Just remember, this is technically a privilege, don’t try and abuse it, and we won’t have any issues.”

“I won’t.” Connie promised, opening the door and stepping into the hallways. “I’m well aware of my limits.”

Jerry gave her an encouraging smile, waving as he closed the door. Connie stopped, took a deep breath, and went to go make a swimsuit. She wouldn’t go with anything flashy, she wasn’t anywhere close to that daring, but…it was a step in the direction she wanted to go, and that was what mattered.

So, she made a simple one-piece swimsuit and made her way back to the Dimension of Discounts, hesitating briefly before walking into the onsen and to the changing room. She cleaned herself off with a quick spell, took yet another deep breath, then stepped out into the hot springs. Rose was asking Amelia why she had stuck with the name ‘Hero power’, and Amelia apparently just didn’t have a better name for it, so she had stuck with the old one.

Fortunately, Connie could fix that. “It’s called Worship.” She said, stepping out of the changing room, blushing fiercely.

Amelia’s face lit up. “Connie!” She said happily. “You’re done already?”

Connie gave a slight nod, explaining a bit of what had just happened to them. As she did, Amelia patted the water next to her, inviting Connie to sit next to her, but that was just…a bit much for Connie. “S-sorry, baby steps. I’ll sit closer when I’m ready.” She said, sitting a little bit away in a place where she could see everyone before continuing her explanation of Worship.

Some of the gods would probably be upset at her for this, but they didn’t really have any grounds to complain. It was technically new information, yes, but basically the only thing it could really lead to was them experimenting more with using Blood Money, and as Jerry had confirmed that Amelia’s power was bits of the system, they could consult something like Analysis to achieve a similar result.

Well, that and explaining why the swarm was important to the gods, but that was likewise information that was little more than a curiosity. So, she finished her explanation, and after a tender moment between Chrys and Rose, Rose asked Connie for a story.

She froze. If she had time to prepare, she could probably have brought a few stories to bear, but being put on the spot she was having trouble. She had lived a long life, but that was part of the problem; the life of a Higher Being was was generally pretty dull, so much of that long life was spent reading, playing video games, or looking through Jerry’s various planes hoping to find some sort of interesting situation to watch.

Fortunately, she managed to think of something after only a moment, and launched into a tale of one of the more convoluted situations she’d had to deal with. And, to her relief, they didn’t seem to be bored by it, listening intently to her story. After she finished, she decided to throw the topic back at Rose. “Rose, do you have any interesting stories? You, uh, have most of your memories back, right?”

“Aside from the memories from the afterlife, yes, my memories of my past life have completely returned to me.” Rose confirmed. “I suppose I can regale you with some war stories, but they don’t have too much emotion attached to them, so I’m afraid they wouldn’t be as gripping as they might otherwise be.”

“Sorry.” Connie said, a pang of guilt running through her. She may not have been the architect of the Urge, but she was complicit in allowing it to remain; she hadn’t done anything to change the status quo, accepting the Urge as a necessary evil. And, to an extent, it was, Izumi had proved that much, but the harm it did outweighed the good, and that was made all the clearer by just how badly it had warped Amelia.

“Connie, it’s not your fault.” Rose said. “I understand why the Urge was made, and I understand why you didn’t push for its removal. We’ve all made mistakes and wronged others, myself included. You’ve done more than enough to make up for it, so let’s just forget it and start fresh, okay?”

“Um, okay.” Connie said, looking down.

“Mom, you could take that advice as well.” Chrys said. “You did your very best, you don’t need to feel sorry anymore.”

“You too, Chrys.” Lia added. “You’re still beating yourself over what happened in your past life.”

Connie couldn’t help but giggle at the exchange. “Like mother, like daughter.” She said. “All three of us had part in that incident, and we all feel bad about it, it seems.”

“I suppose so.” Rose admitted. “And I guess it isn’t as easy as just saying it’s fine and you can move on. But…we can all work on that together. For now, though, how about that story?”

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“Ah, Connie, how have you been?” Kali said warmly, appearing out of nowhere in front of Connie. She was one of the newest Administrators in their faction, having graduated from her time as a sort of intern Administrator for Amy, the head Administrator in their faction, a few thousand years prior.

It was the day after Connie had asked Jerry to set up a meeting, and both Kali and one of Amy’s gods, Fortune, had been available on such short notice. This wasn’t a huge surprise, even Administrators often sat around doing nothing, but it was nice nonetheless.

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“I’ve been fine.” Connie said. “The transition has been…well, basically a nonissue. It’s times like this that I’m thankful that Jerry made sure none of us Higher Beings care much for what gender we are.”

“If I ever make a Higher Being from the ground up, I’m definitely going that route.” Kali said. “It seems like it’ll make their lives easier. But…I’m not planning on that any time soon. I’ll probably just make existing people into Higher Beings first, or maybe even make another facet to Lilith, if she’s alright with it? I was worried that it might be a bit much on her soul, but the eldritch is really something else; in all honesty, it kind of feels like she isn’t really even a proper Higher Being, mortal, or even Administrator; her contact with it has…expanded her in a way that I’ve never quite seen before.”

Connie frowned deeply. “And there have been no negative side-effects?”

“I’ve been watching like a hawk.” Kali replied. “None whatsoever. I’m pretty sure I’ve stumbled onto the key to making the eldritch actually…work.”

Connie shook her head slowly. “I’m…not so sure.”

Kali frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Kali, you’re incredibly talented with manipulating Worship and Higher Beings, I’ve read the studies Jerry has done on Perfect Chimeras and that much is clear, but the eldritch is so completely other that I’m not sure this is something we can easily replicate.” Connie replied. “Have any of your other Perfect Chimeras looked into the eldritch at all?”

“I believe Mai did at one point, but she…stopped. Because…” A look of alarm spread across Kali’s face. “I can’t remember.” She said. “And not in a ‘it slipped my mind’ way, there’s a block preventing me from remembering. But if it was something she could work with, Mai definitely wouldn’t have shied away from it.”

Connie sighed. “There’s your answer.” She said. “Something about Lilith is different. Jerry thinks something is messing with reality, this whole situation with Amelia just strikes him as so unlikely so as to be impossible, and with Lilith also being out of the norm…” She trailed off, letting the implication hang.

“I…I need to think about this.” Kali said. “On my own time, of course. You needed to meet with me, and a couple of the gods from Amy’s planes, about love?”

“Just Fortune, apparently.” Connie replied, letting the subject drop. “Um…I guess while we wait, how have thing been on your end?”

“Good, good.” Kali said. “Earth and Haven are starting to settle into place now that Earth has been brought back into the system, and while this new system isn’t everything I wanted, it’s at least a step in the right direction. Lilith’s soul is healing pretty well, too.” She paused, giving Connie a thoughtful look. “Do you mind if I come over and ask for some tips on reincarnation? Lilith’s went…poorly, and though it’s working out now, I’d rather like to be able to replicate the kind of reincarnation you all can do.”

“That’s not really my area of expertise, but I’m sure Jerry would love to teach you.” Connie said. “You know how he gets about this sort of thing. I’m not totally sure our methods will work right if you just directly copy them, since they generally interact with the systems we have here and yours is built a little differently, but systems all have their roots in Jerry’s work anyway, so you can probably pull it off with some minor modifications.”

“Yeah, these last couple of millennia have really shown me just how much I have to learn.” Kali admitted, scratching the back of her neck in embarrassment. “I’ve done pretty much everything wrong, but…I’m getting better.”

“You’re doing fine.” Connie said. “Even Jerry struggled with his first couple of planes, just remember that you’ve got all sorts of other people who are more than happy to help you out and everything will be fine.”

“Yeah, what she said.” Fortune said, suddenly appearing next to one of the couches and sitting down. “What are we talking about?”

“We’re talking about how I messed up my first couple of planes.” Kali said.

“Eh, it all worked out in the end.” Fortune replied, putting her feet up on the coffee table in front of her. “Even Amy had a rough first plane, it’s normal to mess up a bit.”

“You say that like you’re older than me, but I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing this for longer than you.” Kali pointed out, smiling playfully.

Fortune shrugged. “Guilty as charged, but the point stands; even if you already know it, sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else before it sinks in.”

“Honestly, it might be good that you’re getting experience changing established systems, because I am not looking forward to having to redo all the systems we’re using once Jerry deciphers how Amelia fixed the randomness problem.” Connie said.

“Remind me what that is?” Fortune asked. “It sounds familiar, but I’m not super familiar with system construction so that’s about it.”

“Basically, the more random elements your system has, the more powerful it is.” Kali explained. “The effects of system-generated abilities are more pronounced, and more of a person’s Mana can be allocated to create stats, making said stats more powerful. The opposite holds true the less random your system is, the more options you give people. You can somewhat get around that if you’re really good at optimizing your system and have, say a small set of classes with rigid abilities and no ability to have any customization, but you have to be good with systems to make that work.”

“Jerry’s pretty sure it’s because when people pick abilities, they tend to pick abilities that don’t work well with their souls, even if those abilities work well on a surface level. They probably won’t be able to tell if they pick one or two bad abilities, but lots of bad choices accumulate over time, dragging the person’s potential down. When abilities are “randomly” given, they often are abilities that work well with the person’s soul and other abilities. Amelia somehow made a system that gives people choice, and is on average stronger than other systems.” Connie added.

“But we pick out Tess’s abilities and they work just fine.” Fortune said, frowning. “I mean, even without Descent she can give any other Appointed a run for their money.”

“Didn’t you say a couple of the gods specifically optimize her build?” Kali asked. “That’s probably why.”

“Yeah, Heroes and War.” Fortune confirmed. “Huh. I guess there were a few choices they made that didn’t make total sense to me, but I just…figured they knew better than me. That’s off-topic, though, I do believe we were here to talk romance?”

Connie nodded. “I, um, started dating Lia, Amelia, and Rose.” She said. “It’s more to test the waters than anything, but I want to make sure that I’m putting in effort and avoiding any pitfalls that might come with Higher Being-mortal relationships. You two have experience with those, right?”

“Yup!” Fortune said happily. “I started dating my wife thirty years ago, and we’ve been married for twenty-five. That’s not as long as Kali, sure, but I like to think I’ve got some tips.”

“Well, for most of the time we were dating, Lilith was dead and in the afterlife.” Kali said. “I’m not sure how much help I can be, seeing as how you’re dating them when they’re alive and corporeal, but I’ll do my best. What kind of things are you worried about?”

“U-um, the fear of losing them?” Connie ventured. “I mean, I know they’ll probably go to the afterlife, but it’s just not the same, and they might choose to reincarnate and…I guess…Higher Beings always come back, but with mortals there’s an uncertainty to it.”

“Ah, that I can help with.” Kali said. “I’m going to level with you, dating someone who’s only a soul is…less than ideal. It won’t be as much of an issue for you, since you can probably reincarnate them, but doing that too many times without cleaning the soul is almost certainly going to result in degradation, unless your process is way better than I thought. Still, there’s fulfilment to be had with a soul, and if you’re willing to spend some Worship you can even be physically intimate.

“But…honestly, even now that Lilith is a Higher Being, there’s still that niggling worry in the back of my mind, that somehow something will go wrong and she’ll vanish. It’s been lessening over time, but I think it’s something we just have to live with; mortals get into relationships with the knowledge that their partner can die at any time, so there’s no reason for us to hold back because of it, it’s just an excuse we use to avoid potential worries.”

“I…never thought about it that way.” Connie admitted. “But you’re right. Um…how do you deal with the power imbalance, though?”

“Set very, very clear boundaries.” Fortune said. “In my case, I had Amy come and have a talk with Kaitlyn, make sure she knew that she could always come talk with Amy if she felt that I was misusing my authority or something, much in the same way we used to tell Appointed they could talk to her before we made Appointed Higher Beings and it became unnecessary.”

“It was a bit harder for me, since I don’t have anyone directly above me, but basically that.” Kali added. “I had to make sure she knew that we are equal, with no exceptions or conditions.”

Connie nodded, mentally going over her list of questions. She was already starting to feel a little better, but she had a lot more questions and Kali and Fortune couldn’t stay forever, so she needed to make the most of it.