Taboo Journal

Chapter 115: of Grim Reality: The Night Before


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“With that said, the formalities are something we have to discuss some other time. I still have a long night ahead of me, even without this. I hope you don’t mind that.”

“Mhm, I apologise for taking your time. Of course, I won’t be as unreasonable to ask for more.”

“That helps. As for tomorrow… Mm… There’s not much choice outside of sending you along with Yumi and Karen. They’re closer to the back and preferably won’t see much action but I can’t have a newcomer messing up any other squads.”

“I see… While it isn’t quite what I had hoped for—that much I will admit—I can still at least verify with mine own eyes the outcome.”

“Good. Glad to hear that.”

Korwen looked like he was quite relieved that the Elder wasn’t demanding otherwise. Judging from the way he said it… Ahh, even I could understand it now… The Elder… She wanted to… fight them herself…

”Then, Yumi, Karen. I’ll leave her in your care. Get your preparations done and get a good rest.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Understood, Mr Captain.”

“Don’t forget anything. Yumi, especially those exploding mana crystals. While I preferably don’t want to rely on something we haven’t tested much yet, it is still better to be prepared to use it. Got that?”

“Yes!”

Well, there was no time to test it so there wasn’t much we could do in that regard… Although…

“And, I’m sure there’s no need for me to say it, but no testing or anything tonight. Getting a good night’s rest is more important than a little bit of experimenting this late.”

“... Understood.”

“... Be happy that you can take a good rest.”

He directed a wry smile towards us. Now that he said it… He had wanted to take a break after the troll incident but instead, he had been working without a single break since then… Yeah, I should appreciate that we could take a rest.

Sorry for thinking of actually testing them out now…

In the best case, there was no need for them anyway. And, it wasn’t like there was absolutely nothing left to do.

“Anyway, if the Elder has nothing else to say…”

“There isn’t. I have said all that I wanted.”

“Great. I’ll leave you to those two then. If there is anything urgent, you can still look for me or Merim, of course.”

“I understand, Mr Korwen.”

With a final nod, Korwen turned around and left the three of us, no doubt on his way to work even more… Hopefully, he could get some sort of rest, too.

But now… What do I do?

I glanced at the Elder who was still watching Korwen’s back. He said that he would leave her in our care but… Yeah… What was I supposed to do now?

“Is something the matter?”

“Huh? Ah, no…”

“In that case... Mr Korwen has left me in your care but I know little about the ways of the mercenaries. I would appreciate it if you could guide me.”

“Uhm…”

I threw a glance towards Karen, looking for a little but…

“You’re the boss here, Yumi.”

Geez, thanks…

She was right, though. No, wait, was she? Was it now set in stone that I was…

“... Well, let’s see… I don’t think we can tell you either. We haven’t been here that much longer either… In fact, I think you probably know more than us…”

She was, after all, not just a few centuries old. If her age really went back to those stories thousands of years ago…

“My, but I’m following you now, and mercenaries all have different customs and traditions. They all work differently. But I guess I should be a little more specific, am I understanding it correctly? My interest lays more with the job of you two… and subsequently, with mine.”

Ahh… Okay, that was a reasonable point to start at…

“Well, how to explain it… We’re supposed to carry the banner and motivate the mercenaries.”

“... Are you saying you’re standard-bearers?”

The Elder’s eyes went wide in surprise.

“Nn… Is there a problem with that?”

“No, there isn’t… I’m just surprised.”

“Surprised?”

I tilted my head.

Was it that odd for us to do that?

“The flag, the banner or the standard, whichever name you want to call it… It’s the heart of the group, their pride, their lifeblood. It is a very important job. I am rather surprised to hear that you carry the flag.”

“Haa... “

I did understand that it was an important job but…

“I still don’t think it’s that big of a reason to be surprised about.”

“... It is. At least, long ago, when I was still traveling, it was considered a big honour to carry the flag. I admit I know more about an army’s customs than the mercenaries. At the time, mercenaries were little more than vagabonds making a little money by offering their sword.”

“Back then… You mean, when you were traveling with Yumias?”

“... Yes.”

Then… things were probably quite different, considering how much time has passed. But, seeing how there were people living that long, maybe… not that much?

“But let this be a topic for another time, Miss Yumi.”

“Please, don’t call me that. Just Yumi is fine.”

“... If you wish so.”

I just turned down Karen in regards to calling me that. Admittedly, we were a lot closer but it still felt… wrong… being called with ‘Miss’ by the Elder.

“To return to the topic at hand, what would be my task? Mr Korwen has already declared that he is unable to procure equipment for me. While that is in itself not an issue, as long as all I need is equipment for combat, I don’t think I can fashion a banner that quickly. Unless, someone would have the cloth prepared already.”

“No, the only one carrying it will be me. Uhm, your task… I guess it’ll be the same as Karen’s? For now, that will be just guarding the banner.”

“I see… So, in other words, our task is simply to protect you.”

“... I guess so, yes.”

Protect me… I wasn’t going to get hung up on that. I wasn’t. I’d just need a little more time to live with it, yes? People can’t change their thoughts that fast…

“Hmm… I see… Is there anything else I need to know?”

“Anything else? Nn…”

What else could there be… Oh, right… Her appearance was…

“...”

I scrutinised the Elder from the top to the bottom. Then I threw a glance at Karen next to me… and finally at myself.

“Sis, I think there’s a problem.”

“A problem?”

“Nn. We don’t have anyone with a proper adult charm.”

“... What?”

Karen stared at me with incredulous eyes.

… Hey, it’s not wrong, isn’t it?

There were Karen, Lily and me plus the Elder for now. I agreed that none of us were hard on the eyes, not even remotely. But, there was a problem.

“Sis, do you consider yourself tall or short?”

“Me? I… am rather short, if we talk about average height… Are you trying to pick a fight about my height now, Yumi?”

“No, I love the way you are, Sis. But think about it… Even if we include Lily… You’re the tallest among us.”

“... Ah.”

My stature was probably the furthest removed from an adult as you could be. Well, okay, not that far, I did have a little bit… At least, I wasn’t completely flat like the Maya and the girls were… No, actually, they already had a little… er, nevermind that.

As for Lily… She was taller than me but she also was very far from being tall. Actually, if you excluded me, her height was a little abnormal, considering how everyone else was quite a bit taller. It reminded me how the king, Will, suspected that that monster was messing around with others’ height…

Although, whether it really is true, I don’t know… Wouldn’t put it past her…

Then, we had the Elder… Her height was pretty similar to my own. She had a bit more in the way of curves than I did, though… Nonetheless, she wasn’t exactly exuding an adult charm either. Then again, neither did she  give off a childish impression, maybe because of her mannerisms.

With that said, she’s also definitely more ‘cute’ than she is ‘pretty’ or ‘sexy’ or something like that. As long as you don’t know how old she actually is.

And finally, there was Karen… The tallest among us… Even as the tallest, she was still a bit shorter compared to, say, Fenna. And a lot shorter than some of the taller women in Fenna’s squad. Yet, among us, Karen was by far the most adult-looking…

But the Captain decided upon this knowing that, didn’t he? So… maybe this is fine? Maybe it’s on purpose… Or just a coincidence… No, there are some… pretty adult-looking women around as well, so...

Well, it wasn’t something I could change now anyway. Unless I suddenly gained the ability to grow. Then again, even if I could, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to. I was pretty comfortable in my skin, after all. Well, if you ignored the trouble I had with my… nature. Though, I was slowly warming up to that, too. I wanted to believe that, at least.

“Yumi? Yumi?”

“... Nn? Yes?”

“You were spacing out. Is everything okay?”

“Oh… Sorry, I got a little lost in thought.”

Not good. I could ponder about those things later.

“So, what were you thinking about?”

“Nn, what I just mentioned. That you’re the tallest among us… But, well, the Captain knows that so I think it should be fine?”

“If you say so…”

“It’s nothing we can really change anyway.”

“That’s… true, yes.”

Karen furrowed her brows. Well, I couldn’t exactly tell her body to hurry up with growing… Wait, was she even growing anymore? Mhm, didn’t we have that discussion with Wanda before?

“With that said, Miss Elder, I guess the only thing to note is to look, er, fashionable?”

“Mm, you mean, to dress in a way so that it stimulates the men.”

“... Yes.”

It wasn’t wrong but… the phrasing. Couldn’t she put it in a less direct way?

“It might be a little bit extra work but I am sure I can manage something. It won’t be a problem to adjust either, as well, should my… attempts fail to meet expectations.”

“Huh… How are you even going to get equipment?”

“I will ask for it from the forest… Or rather, there isn’t much of a forest here, but there are still a few trees. I should be able to work with them.”

“The trees… Then, it’ll be wooden equipment?”

A weapon was probably one thing but… was the armour going to be fine?

“It will be. Wood is resilient and strong. Even the humanoids should know this, shouldn’t they?”

“Nn, that’s true. But… Isn’t it going to be uncomfortable?”

“... It’s true that I cannot claim it to be the most pleasant to wear but it is nothing that I cannot bear for a single day. Rest assured, I know the… disadvantages it brings with it.”

If she claimed that it was okay… Well, she probably knew more about it than I did.

“If you say so. Well, I think that about sums it up?”

There wasn’t much else to discuss right now. The specifics would be given to us tomorrow. Well, I hoped they would… 

“Hmm… If there is nothing else, I shall go and procure my equipment. It wouldn’t do to delay this. The trees are few and it will take some time.”

“I see… Then, uhm, I guess we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes… Actually, wait.”

“Nn? Is there something else?”

The Elder opened her mouth, wanting to say something, only to close it again. She stared at me for a few seconds, not saying a word.

“Uhm…”

“May I ask a quick favor of you? Well, it’s not so much a favor as I want to look into something.”

“Nn? Depends on what it is…”

“... Could you give me your hand for a moment?”

My hand? That much was fine but…

“Well, if it’s nothing else…”

I stretched out my hand towards her, expecting her to take it. Although, she stared out my outstretched hand for a few seconds before grasping it with both her hands.

“This… could be a little uncomfortable… Forgive me.”

“Huh? Hyah?!”

Right after she finished her sentence she… started messing with the mana in my arm. It was an incredibly unpleasant feeling, as if someone was stirring around the flesh in my arm.

Ugh… My stomach…

A truly gut-stirring feeling.

“Mhm… As I expected… Try and take a look.”

“Ehh?“

That was easier said than done, considering my stomach felt like it would expel its contents anytime soon. Still, I forced myself to look her way…

“That… Ugh…”

The Elder… She wasn’t actually moving the mana in my arm… It was more like she forced her own mana into my arm…

“This should be enough.”

“Uhh… It…’s over?”

“Yes. One more, I apologise for the sudden… request.”

“Uh… So… So, what was that… about?”

“Well… You are severely lacking mana… I think.”

Lacking mana? What was this about now…

“You absorb mana… in quite a voracious and uncontrolled manner.”

“It’s… not like I do it on purpose.”

“I have thought as much… But I don’t believe this is normal… I don’t know what the cause is either but you should keep that in mind....”

“Nn…”

It wasn’t normal?

“Nn, but I thought monsters absorb mana though into their crystals…”

“They do… But not with such force. They only absorb the excess mana in the body. They don’t absorb continuously, depriving the body of mana it would need. A monster’s body, and of course a Cursed’s body as well, requires the mana to function. It is a source of their strength.”

“A source of their strength…”

“Uhm, Miss Elder. Does that mean that Yumi is so weak because her body has no mana?” asked Karen.

“That is likely the case.”

Wow… So, that’s the reason… But…

“Even if I absorb some mana from crystals or so… it just disappears instantly when I leave it out of my control. And it feels more like I’m throwing it into a bottomless hole…”

“Mh… It is odd… Unfortunately, even I cannot help you with that. After this ordeal has been dealt with, you might want to find the cause. I can offer my help, although I hope you don’t expect too much.”

“That… would be a good idea, I guess.”

It reminded me of what Elina had mentioned before… About how mana was the source of the monster materials’ strength. Maybe she knew something that could help as well. Wouldn’t hurt to ask her after this was over.

“Thanks, Miss Elder.”

“Mh? What for?”

“Well, if you hadn’t tried to check, I probably wouldn’t have known about this…”

“Ahh… I merely shortened the path a little, if you ask me. It would surely be unavoidable to notice at one point. You know your body is akin to a monster’s. It would have been but a matter of time.”

“Well, it still would have taken who knows how long. So, thank you.”

The Elder smiled at me, then suddenly let out a small chuckle.

“You are very welcome. Hehehe, you are a well-mannered child for someone related to the witch.”

“Er…”

Well-mannered? Was I?

“Be that as it may, I have already taken more time than I intended to. I, too, wish to have a good rest before the coming day, and surely so do you. And the day won’t grow any younger.”

She directed her gaze towards the horizon, where the sun was. It had been a long day but even this day would end at one point. And the sun was already close to the horizon… It wouldn’t be much longer until it was dark.

“Now then, I bid you two a good night.”

“Nn. I hope you have a good night as well.”

“Good night, Miss Elder.”

“Mm.”

With a final nod, the Elder left, probably in search for some trees. Was she going to be fine doing that this late, though?

“Yumi, we should return too.”

“Nn. We still have a little bit left to do.”

“It’s not much, though.”

“It’s still a little.”

We watched the Elder disappear before we both made our way towards our wagon as well, enjoying the last moments of the sun.

“Ah, we’re back!”

“Yumi, that’s bad manners.”

“Nn… Nobody’s here.”

“I’m here, though.”

“Sis is fine.”

The moment we went back and entered the wagon, I let myself fall down onto the bed. It… still hadn’t become any softer. I wanted a soft bed… It was better than just a blanket but… Yeah…

“I wish you would consider me a little as well, Yumi…”

“Nn? Sorry, did you want to jump onto the bed, too?”

“... No.”

Karen sighed and sat down at the edge of the bed.

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“Come, up with you. Didn’t you say just a little earlier about how we still had something left to do?”

“Ugh…”

“Seriously… It wouldn’t hurt to show a little bit of restraint.”

“But when can I relax then if not around you?”

I moved around on the bed, shifting my position so I could hug Karen’s waist.

“Ah, Yumi!”

“Mm…”

“Haaa… You’re too spoiled, you know?”

“Nn.”

But getting spoiled by her was great. With that said…

“It hurts.”

“What does?”

“Your gear… I can’t hug you like this.”

“... You know, they probably didn’t think that was the point of the armour…”

“But…”

I enjoyed hugging Karen… It was definitely high up on the list of things I enjoyed the most. Being deprived of it because of some stupid armour…

“Haa… Well, I guess there’s no point wearing it here anyway. Come, Yumi, you should get out of your gear as well.”

“Nn… I guess…”

My armour wasn’t quite as uncomfortable but it was true that it was in the way. Mine wasn’t as heavy anyway. Not like I could wear anything heavier than this for long.

Thinking about it… I would have expected it to wear me out a lot more over a long time…

Not that I was complaining. It definitely was one of those points that were striking me as odd, though, in regards to my body. They were mostly pretty good points, though. Even my squishy body wasn’t exactly a bad point. At least, Karen and the other girls seemed to enjoy it…

“Yumi. Don’t go dozing off.”

“Nn…”

I forced myself up in response to Karen’s exasperated voice. She had already removed everything except for the black dress. Huh, she was stripping that one too?

“Si— Ah.”

“Mh? Is something wrong?”

“No…”

Right… she was wearing that… hauberk. Under the dress. I forgot. Well, it would’ve been nice if she was inviting me for something more intimate now but even I understood we wouldn’t get any work done if we did it now.

Later. It’s a reward for later.

Something to look forward to.

Oh, she was wearing an undershirt beneath that, huh.

“Need help?”

“No, I think I can manage. Can you already get some mana crystals over?”

“Okay.”

The faster that was done with, the earlier I could get my reward. Yeah.

“Hehehe…”

“Yumi?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

It was probably bad to get too distracted by the reward… Well, for now, I had to get rid of this armour.

“Nn… And there we go…”

Ah… free, at last. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Okay, technically, it really had been. 

“Yumi, are these enough?”

“Let me see…”

On the desk , Karen had piled up quite an amount of the tiny mana crystals. Actually, that was probably too much but… Well, making a little more couldn’t hurt.

“Ah, speaking of which.”

I picked up the armour I had just taken off, looking for something.

“Where was it again… Ah! There.”

“What’s that? A bag?”

“Nn.”

A small bag attached to the dress, at the height of my waist.

“Wanda made this so I can carry a small bag there. Isn’t this perfect to carry the mana crystals?”

“Huh, you’re right.”

I could probably fill it with enough of those mana crystals that were meant to explode. And maybe even some others, too… No, wait, that was probably a bad idea. I didn’t want to accidentally grab the wrong crystal and throw it.

“Nn, let’s see… I think filling it should be enough, right?”

“If you ask me, if every single of them explodes like that, it’s… probably a little too much.”

“True… Ah, but I don’t think I should make them as strong as that one…”

“Why not?”

“We were running and the captain was carrying me. If I just threw it with my own strength, I’d definitely get caught up in it…”

The least I wanted to happen was killing myself, after all.

“He… carried you?”

“Yes?”

“...”

“Sis?”

Whoops, maybe I shouldn’t have said that… She stared right into my eyes as if she was trying to peer into my soul.

“Uhm, just to make it clear, it was an emergency, okay? An emergency.”

“... Really?”

“Nn. Definitely! Absolutely!”

“.... Haaa. If you say so.”

She let out a sigh. Dodged a bullet there, didn’t I?

Was it just me or was she getting more possessive recently? I was actually a little scared there… Those weren’t eyes that knew the meaning of peace. But… The worst part was that it actually made me a little happy...

“Ahem, let’s, er, make some of those mana crystals.”

I sat down at the desk. Time to make some exploding mana crystals… Exploding… Mhm…

“Mana Grenades?”

“... What?”

“Ah, I just thought of a name for them. Well, they explode so I thought it’d be a fitting name.”

“Haa… What is a grenade, though?”

“...”

Had to start there, didn’t I?

“It’s a weapon from my world… Well, maybe it exists here too. It’s a little explosive that you throw at the enemy to blow them up.”

“I see… I guess that does fit.”

Right? It definitely did. Well, with that out of the way.

“Time to make some.”

And thus, I started to change the pile of mana crystals in front of me into the mana grenades. Okay, they were still regular pink mana crystals. As much as you could call them ‘regular,’ that was. I kept the amount of mana in them relatively low. It was still more than the mana crystal that blew up the ogre had, but it was also quite a bit less than the ones from earlier today. Most likely, it was still plenty dangerous, though. But since I really didn’t want to blow myself up by accident… Better safe than sorry.

“I think this should be enough…”

“That’s still quite a lot.”

“Well, we might need them.”

Although, she said that it was a lot, the bag could still fill more of them. That would really be overkill, though. It… would, right?

Maybe… I should make some more?

Better safe than sorry, right?

“Sis, let’s make some more.”

“Yumi… that’s enough, don’t you think? Or are you planning to blow up the entire village?”

“I’m… not. No.”

Well, if the Captain asked me to do it… Would I do it? I didn’t know. I’d probably hesitate but… I would still do it… That’s what I thought. Or maybe, that’s what I wanted to think.

It’s not like he’s really going to ask me that anyway, right? Actually… He might.

Korwen’s top priority was the safety of his men. And if there was an easy solution… He’d probably go for it.

“... Sis, let’s make more. If the captain actually asks me to blow the village up, I really might need them.”

“That’s… not impossible… Okay, let’s make more.”

“Nn.”

Glad to see she agreed with me there.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

“Keep in mind to not fill the bag too much.”

“Why not?”

“If it gets too heavy, it might fall to the ground when you run.”

Ohh… That could happen…

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

But I could still make a few more. There was still plenty of space left in the bag and it wasn’t like the individual crystals were that heavy.

With that decided, I continued making some mana grenades until we both decided that more wouldn’t be worth it.

“And done… Finally, it’s over. Let’s go to bed!”

My reward was waiting. Today had been really exhausting.

“Yumi, wait. There’s still more to do.”

“... Seriously? Can’t that wait?”

“If we do it now we can sleep without worries.”

“Ugh... Guess so.”

That was a good point.

“But, what else do we even have to do?”

“Well, if you are carrying those mana grenades in that bag, there’s nothing else in there, right? But what about the other mana crystals. And that pink ball.”

“Ah, the orb… Mhm…

If I was carrying another bag on a sling, that was completely defeating the point of having this bag attached to the armour. But there wasn’t any other way to carry things around.

“Well, how about Sis brings them along?”

“I’m fine with that but are you sure you don’t want them at hand?”

“You’ve been carrying some around either way all the time, right?”

“... Because you never thought of doing it yourself.”

“Ugh…”

Another good point…

“Well, I don’t mind but again, are you sure?”

“Nn… It’s not like I can do anything with them that would require me to immediately have it at hand, right? And you’ll be by my side anyway.”

“If you are sure… Then I’ll bring them along.”

“Nn.”

The most I could do was using them for making more dolls or tentacle growth. Oh, actually. The Charm needed mana, too. I could use it even without the crystals but it was probably better to do it with one if I needed a stronger effect. Well, I wasn’t planning to use it suddenly anyway... Outside of when I was doing the… speech?

“... I still have to think of what to say tomorrow.”

But, I honestly had no idea what to… I never held a speech before, after all.

“Won’t something simple be enough? Even the captain himself kept it relatively short and simple, didn’t he?”

“You think so?”

“Yes. I don’t think you need to think that hard about it. Just say what you feel.”

“Nn…”

What I was feeling, huh…

“It’s better than awkwardly trying to recite some words you don’t really mean. That’s what I think.”

“... You think so, huh. Well, if you say so. If the captain complains, I’ll redirect him to you.”

“Are you trying to put the blame on me?”

“Maybe?”

“This little!

“Hyah! Ah! Sis, sto— Not there! Hya!”

Karen hugged me from behind and started tickling my sides.

“Take this!”

“No, not! Ahahaha! No, not the— Ahahaha!”

Karen kept tickling me until she was thoroughly satisfied, leaving me behind heavily breathing.

“Haaa… That… Haaa… was unfair... Haa…”

“Says the one who wanted to sell me out…”

“That was… Haa… a joke…”

“Was it really?”

“Of… course…”

I straightened myself after I finally managed to catch my breath again.

“Ahh… Hey, Sis… Let’s sleep.”

“... Okay. We’ve finished with our preparations, so let’s take a good rest.”

“Nn!”

Finally.

I laid down on the bed and quickly stripped myself of the last few pieces of cloth on me.

“Sis…”

“Yes, yes, I’m coming.”

With a wry smile, Karen too removed the undershirt she was wearing. Ahh, a feast for the eyes.

“Yumi, we’re just going to sleep, right?”

“Nn. Wait… Only sleeping?”

“... We can’t afford to be out for a few days again, you know.”

“...”

Then… But… My reward?

“We can still cuddle, but nothing more.”

“... My reward.”

“Reward?”

“I wanted to… After we finished…”

“... You should’ve said that earlier.”

I probably should have… But she wasn’t wrong… If we got stuck again in a shell… I kind of doubted it would happen that fast again but we didn’t know for sure…

“... Yumi. When everything is over, let’s ask the Captain if we can take a day or two off and enjoy our time leisurely? Is that okay?”

“Nn…”

“Seriously… Come here.”

Karen laid down next to me and pulled me into her arms. The familiar feeling of her skin was transmitted to me.

“When things are over and we can afford to be suddenly gone for a few days again, let’s do it a lot, yes?”

“Nn! It’s a promise!”

“A promise it is. Hehe.”

I returned Karen’s hug and buried my face in her bosom. The way she worded it… She was already assuming that she got stuck inside there with me again, didn’t she? That made me a little… No, it made me quite happy.

“Nn, Sis.”

“I’m here, Yumi.”

Karen’s hand stroked the back of my head. Even with all said and done, this was still plenty for a reward. I loved this feeling of hugging each other and feeling her naked skin and her warmth, this direct show of affection.

“Nn, Sis. I love you.”

“I love you too, Yumi.”

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