Chapter 53: of Heart Resonance: Ramblings

"Yumi! Yu... Wake up!"

"... Ugh."

"Yumi! Ahh, what... do now?"

"Let's call... won't like it but... she's like this..."

Distant voices were surrounding me. As if I was listening from underwater to others talking.

"I'll... and... Take care... okay?"

"... wait here."

I could vaguely hear some footsteps. They probably left, whoever it had been. But that didn't matter to me. I just felt awfully tired and sleepy. I wanted to sleep, to sleep and forget everything...

"Captain, why... her... until... this wasted?"

"... break. Didn't... would get this..."

"Please... drink Forest... again."

"...sorry. It was out... expectations. She... really fast."

Couldn't they shut up? I wanted to sleep. Seriously. It irritated me quite a bit. Ah, but wait. I needed a pillow. Yes, a pillow was definitely necessary for a good nap. Was there something nearby?

"Hya?! Yu... you doing?!"

"Mhmm..."

"... go of... tail."

I got a pillow. It was a really great pillow to boot. Fluffy and pleasant to touch. It only lacked in volume a little. With some more volume, it would make for a truly heavenly pillow. I kind of wanted a blanket as well now... Surely a blanket was close too.

"...mi! Don't... at this!"

The blanket resisted. Blankets shouldn't resist, usually. Something was wrong here. But getting the blanket to obey sounded like a pain. No choice then, had to sleep without one.

"Li... Brought..."

"Fina... using my... pillow."

"Let me... take... look..."

Two new voices joined in. Couldn't they go away? They were disturbing my sleep. Oh, something warm was suddenly covering me. Was this a blanket? I couldn't see one but it was still warm, so... it was fine? Time to sleep.

"...odd. It's... working."

"Not? But... that be?"

"... know... her constitution."

"... troublesome."

The warm blanket-like feeling disappeared. What was up with this? First, they gave me a blanket and then they took it away? They were just like Yuu. Damn prankster never let me nap in peace either. Except for the times when Father had been at home but at those times I wasn't napping anyway. He'd get angry.

"Who... talking about? She's..."

"... if you ask... know."

"Nevermind... thing. We... to a bed."

Speaking of which, I haven't seen Yuu in a while. Hope she was doing well. She used to be such a crybaby... Always following her big brother around.

"... can take my... with someone nearby."

"... you, Captain."

"I'll... with her."

Last I heard she was going north, wasn't she? She really had become quite dependable, huh... Made me a little sad, to be honest. Ahh... Now I wanted to see her. I should visit her soon. Ah, but the trip would take quite some time... Well, I could take a little suffering for her sake. She was my precious little sister after all.

"... talking about? She... no sense."

"Maybe... her old..."

"But... too weird."

"... meaning of this?"

"Didn't... memories? How can..."

Ah, seriously, could you all please shut up? Sleeping was hard like this. Wait, my pillow! My pillow left! Where did my pillow go?

"... dream?"

"Ramblings of..."

"... pillow again... tail."

"Let's just... bed... later."

The ground disappeared as well. I couldn't sleep in the air! But... My only choice was to flail around. My head hurt when I did, though, so that wasn't going to work. Did someone cast a curse on me? That would be a pain... I didn't want to deal with a bunch of straw dolls again. Or whatever kind of curse that had been. For now, it was probably better to wait and see. Strike when there was a chance. I had to get my pillow back! And I'd bring out all my skills for this! Not like I had many.

"... this bed?"

"Yes... her down and... over her... leave in the... doesn't wake... troublesome."

"That's... fault. Don't make... blame..."

"Yes... apologise... won't... again."

Oh? The ground returned to me and it was many times fluffier than before. How did that happen? Did the ground turn to pudding? That would be great. Maybe it was edible?

"... don't eat... mi!"

"Gaha... haha! Did she... food?"

"Seems... it."

Conclusion: It wasn't edible. Utter disappointment. But it was still great for a nap. Now, I only needed to get that pillow! There was no escape from me!

"Hya! Again... my tail?!"

"... did she even... that?"

"... hair was..."

"Impressive... really drunk?"

"... sure she is."

Pillow reacquired. Yes, this was perfect. There was something else here that was similar to a pillow and both together were perfect. The other one made up for missing volume. And there was even a blanket now. I had to protect it this time.

"... her sleep."

"Good... on her later."

"Thank..."

"... want to check... more before..."

"Let's... with her."

Again, footsteps moved into the distance. The surroundings finally fell quiet. Ahh... Finally, I could sleep. Maybe I would dream of Yuu and Mira. It's really been quite some time already since I saw them the last time. I'm sure they'd be surprised. I wanted to see them. Now I felt a little lonely.

"Who... are... they?"

Who was who? Yuu and Mira? They were my troublesome little sisters. Yuu was the youngest and Mira the second youngest. They were so adorable that I wanted to brag about them all the time. Ehehe, I'm sure you'd agree with me if you meet them.

"Where... are... they?"

Where? Good question, I hadn't seen them for a while myself.  Seriously, they could at least call me once in a while. They really didn't know how troublesome it was without their help. I still had to get used to so many things. But if I had to guess, Yuu wanted to check on something in the north or so? And for Mira... Probably running after her girlfriend again. Who knows where they are this time. I sure wasn't going to look for them again. Others could bother about that.

"Name... of... the... north."

The north? What was it called again... Mh... no good. I couldn't remember. But why? I was sure it hadn't been that long since I was there last.

"When... was... the... last?"

Probably around... around... around? Weird... Around what? A day? A week? A year? A decade? A century? I couldn't remember... Weird... Maybe cause my head hurt. It hurt a little too much. Impossible to concentrate with. Either way, I wanted to sleep so could we stop?

"Only... a few... more..."

But really only a few, okay? This was a pain in the ass, okay? Why were we even having this quizshow? If you wanted to know you should go and talk with those obnoxious believers. They were annoying but they'd tell you. After you had to listen to a few hours of sermons, of course. But that was better than interrupting my nap.

"What... religion... believers..."

What religion? Hell, if I knew, some kind of annoying almighty god. Not like I had ever seen the god in question. You just had to ask them yourself. Those sermons went from one ear in and out the other. Always talking on about how God was going to save you and everything. Sure was lazy nowadays with the saving, though.

"What—

"Wait can... ask a.... too?

"... you want... ahead."

"Thank..."

Could you let me sleep now? My head hurt like hell...

"Did... you... have... a... girlfriend?"

A girlfriend? Unfortunately not. Even my little sisters got me beat there. And thanks to that we were seen as a huge weirdo family. Seriously, how did this even happen? For all of us siblings to be like this. Wait, actually, I was safe. I was totally safe. I had been safe... Yeah, I had been... Well, for all I cared, men could all disappear. The world had only need for cute girls. Yeah.

Then again, maybe it was the fault of her influence, that we ended up like this. Yeah, surely that was it.

"... Her?"

Well, her. That super annoying, never honest woman. She could be so cute. Always hiding her embarrassment. Too bad she rarely showed that side. And she was an even worse prankster than Yuu. Well, she was good at heart, though. Ah, but... I just can't agree with her goals... I understood them, logically, but... Anyway, you should ask me some other time. My nap had priority. Why were we even doing this again? I wanted to sleep. Good night.

"Wait... one... more... What.. year... is it?"

That really was the last one okay? But the year? If I recalled correctly... Actually, what year was it right now? The year, the year... Ah, right...

Somewhere around Year...

"Uuuhh..."

"Yumi? Yumi! are you awake?!"

"Don't shout. Please..."

Holy crap, my head hurt. Like, seriously. It felt like my head would split open or someone had wedged an axe into my skull. It was a pulsating kind of pain. To make matters worse, the ground was moving and every little bit of shaking made the pain throb even more.

What kind of hell did I just wake up to? Who hated me this much? Was this torture? It was torture, wasn't it?

"Are you fine?"

"Like hell... I'm fine... Ugh... It hurts..."

"Karen, give her some water. That should help a little."

"Ah, right. Here you go, Yumi."

"Thanks..."

Karen filled a small mug with some water and handed it to me. I was really thirsty so the water was welcome. After a few gulps, I already felt a little better. Emphasis on a little. My head still hurt like mad.

"Sis... What happened..."

"You got drunk."

"Ugh..."

Drunk? Then... this was... A hangover? A hangover. God, why? Wait, that damn drink that Korwen had. It was all that drink from hell's fault!

"My heeaaad..."

"Come, lie down again. It'll be a bit better."

"Uhh..."

Karen gently pushed me back onto the bed.

"Uhh... Where... is this?"

"The Captain's wagon. He lent it to us so you could recover."

"Ohh..."

I'd love to appreciate that kind gesture but he was also the one who made me drink that abomination. I'd have to burn it. Yeah, definitely had to. Every single drop of that abomination had to disappear from this world.

"Just go back to sleep."

"... I doubt... I can sleep... with this shaking..."

"Ahh..."

Why was the wagon shaking anyway? Did the wagon move? No... Wait... don't tell me...

"Sis... We aren't leaving already... are we?"

"..."

Silence. I glanced over to her, squinting my eyes. Because the light hurt as well. I could only barely make out a strained smile.

"... How long... was I out?"

"... Around five hours."

"..."

Five hours. Speak ten earth hours. It was evening already. The whole point of this trip. Where was it? Someone, please...

"When.. did we leave?"

"Just now."

Just now. In other words, I woke up at the absolutely worst possible time. At this point, I was willing to do everything to get this over with quickly.

"Where is... Ria? Can't she... do something?"

"That's..."

"... You called?"

A sleepy voice came from behind Karen. Ria's voice.

"Ah, Yumi asks if you can't help her but..."

"Mm... Impossible."

"Impo... ssible? But... My head hurts..."

"I already tried... But you... showed no reaction... to the magic..."

"..."

Seriously? The sober-up magic didn't work on me? Of all the things that didn't work it had to be that one? That was nice and dandy when you were actually drunk but with a hangover I really would've liked that magic right now.

"Your body... is interesting..."

"..."

Did I just hear a very dangerous line? Surely, I was mistaken. Surely.

"No bones... no liver... How does... your body work?"

That was a question I'd like the answer to as well. But not now. For the love of everything that was holy, this pain...

"Ria, please don't scare her now. Just go back and help Lily."

"Mm..."

"Lily's... here too?"

"She is. We stayed here and took care of you.

"Thanks..."

They were really good to me. Way too good.

"Just try to sleep if you can."

"Probably... can't..."

Whoever could sleep with these headaches had nerves of steel. No, they were probably even harder and more durable than steel. And unfortunately, those headaches weren't the only thing.

"... I feel sick."

"Yes, we can see that, Yumi."

"No... I... My stomach..."

"Oh... Oh, wait... Don't! Hold it in! Hold it in, please!"

"Don't... shout..."

Shouting only made it worse.

Karen quickly lifted my upper body. From somewhere, a bucket appeared in front of me.

And it was right on time.

The following scene is not presentable. Please imagine a rainbow. My dignity is at stake here. Seriously.

"Let it all out, Yumi. You'll feel better."

She gently tapped on my back after I was done. A sour taste spread in my mouth.

"Here, some water."

"Thanks..."

I took the mug and cleaned my mouth. The bucket disappeared as well and it was as if nothing had ever happened. Yes, nothing had happened.

Now, I probably vomited more times in the past two weeks than I did the entire year before... Ugh...

At the very least, now my stomach felt a little better. Even a small improvement was very welcome right now. Didn't help my head though. Hopefully, it would get better sooner rather than later as well. Whichever god thought to hand out hangovers... Please stop. I'm begging you here.

Karen gently laid me back down into the bed and stroked my head. Despite my headaches, that actually made me feel a little better. A little better and a little worse...

"Maybe we should just give Yumi some alcohol to fix it, Karen."

"Lily, that sounds like an absolutely horrible idea."

"You sure? The old men from the Black Guards do that every time."

"... It's surely better not to do that."

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To be honest, you did feel a little better. At least in my opinion. But you'd still have a hangover again after some time, so Karen was right. Better get it over with now.

"Well, if alcohol is no good then... Actually, I don't know... What else can you do?"

"... Nothing?"

"Mm... I heard... Apram Tea... can help.... alleviate the symptoms..."

"Apram Tea? But, Miss Ria, we don't even have that here, do we?"

"We don't..."

Nice suggestion. Maybe it was better that wasn't an option either. Most likely, the tea was just as sour as the juice was. Not sure I had the capacity to deal with something similarly disgusting as that juice at the moment.

"Anything else?" asked Lily.

"I can't think of anything else. I never had to deal with a hangover so..."

"Neither did I."

"Alcohol is scary..."

Yes, it was scary, dear Karen. But somehow, you'd still find your way back to it. Well, in moderation you wouldn't get a hangover so quickly anyway. It only happened when you clearly overdid it. Which I did. No, I was forced to overdo it.

"Just let her... rest for now..." suggested Ria.

"... Sorry, Yumi."

"Nn... It's fine... Sis."

Karen stroked my head again, a caring smile on her face. She reminded me of a mother taking care of her sick child.

"I'll let you rest then. If something's up or you feel ill again, call us."

"Nn... I'll try..."

With a smile, she stood up and disappeared behind the partition, leaving me alone. I could still hear their voices occasionally. I was more busy with the horrendous shaking though, so I had no idea what they were talking about. At least it was comfortably warm. There hadn't been many chances to sleep in a proper bed, so at least that was welcome.

Ugh... I'll try to... sleep a little...

There wasn't much I could do right now. Albeit, it was unlikely that I could fall asleep with these headaches. Well, trying didn't hurt at least.

I closed my eyes and pulled the blanket up to me chin.

I'll never drink... again with the... captain...

If it would end like this every time, I was better off not joining him. That Ria couldn't treat me wasn't making it any better either. It looked absolutely horrible as a treatment, but at least you got it over with quickly.

The bed was warm and comfy. Maybe the road was better now or so but the shaking lessened a little as well. As long as I didn't move and didn't think too much, the pain was bearable.

And just like that, I was biding my time, waiting for the hangover to slowly leave me alone. The whispers from Karen and the others and the sounds of the wagon made for soothing background music. There was also some odd scent permeating the wagon, reminiscent of herbs. This scent was quite calming as well. Slowly... Slowly, I could feel myself dozing off, back to the dreamland.

"Yumi. Yumi?"

"Mmgh..."

"Yumi."

"Mm?"

Someone was calling for me. There was someone in front of me, staring at me. Silver hair, silver eyes... A very familiar face.

"... Sis?"

"Awake?"

"Mm... Kind of..."

"How are you feeling?"

"... Better."

The headaches were mostly gone. A slight throbbing was still left but that wasn't really a big problem.

I sat up and looked around. Karen sat on a chair right next to the bed. Lily and Ria weren't to be seen. It was pretty bright, so I must've slept quite a long time. Probably close morning by now. Maybe we were even back at the capital already. Quite likely since the wagon wasn't moving anymore.

Seriously, why were we even there? We should've just stayed back... But, we did go with the Black Guards, so they made a useless trip too...

It was just incredibly disheartening. You prepared, you put in the effort and when the time finally came... You were told that it was all for nothing. Was I the only one feeling like this? The others sure didn't seem as disturbed by it... Though, only Karen was in front of me right now. I couldn't see any of the others. Well, even if they were, I doubted they'd show it on their faces so easily.

"Nn... Lily and Ria are..."

"They're outside right now. There's a bit of a problem..."

"A problem?"

Karen nodded.

"The road is blocked..."

"Eh?"

"The road is blocked. Trees got knocked over and now we're stuck."

"..."

Seriously? Trees? But... It hadn't been that long since we went to the fort. There had been no storm or anything either, so why were there trees in the middle of the road? We weren't at the capital at all, we were fucking stuck in the forest...

"So, we're stuck..."

"Yes. The captain and the others are trying to move the trees but it will probably take quite some time. Not to mention..."

"Nn?"

"Someone probably moved the trees there."

"... Ah."

Someone wanted us to get stuck here... And if this was deliberate...

"I see..."

I properly stood up from the bed and stretched myself. I had taken an unexpected nap, but it had been a very welcome one nonetheless. Nothing beat sleeping with Karen but it had still been quite comfortable to sleep in such a comfortable bed. I felt really refreshed right now. Still a little drowsy and a bit of a throbbing headache, but overall a lot better than before.

"Nn? This scent..."

"Oh, this? It's from a scented candle that Ria brought along."

Karen, who had stood up as well, led me into the main part of the wagon, the part I couldn't see due to the partition screen slash wall. A small candle, nearly completely burnt, was still trying its best on the desk. There were some green spots in the wax which I assumed were herb leaves or so.

"So that's what I smelled..."

"Ria said it had a relaxing effect."

"Nn... I did feel quite relaxed..."

A scented candle was indeed quite an idea. It didn't help directly with the hangover but if it allowed me to sleep, it was quite good in my book.

"Well, should we join the others?"

"Nn."

"Ah, but Yumi... You should first take care of your eyes."

"Nn?"

"They returned to how they were originally."

Oh? Did that happen while I was asleep? Or while I was drunk. Hopefully not too many people saw the slitted pupils if it was earlier. It would only become a bother.

"Nn, then, just a second."

I closed my eyes and used the magic to change my eyes again. They had stayed as human eyes for the quite some time now so I had to get the feeling for it back first. A little troublesome, truth be told, but nothing that couldn't be solved.

"And that's i—

I froze. I was completely, and utterly, frozen.

"Yumi? Is something wrong?"

"..."

"Yumi?"

"... To think this was it..."

That had been a little out of my expectations, honestly.

"What's wrong?"

"... Sis. What time is it right now?"

"Eh? It's in the middle of the night?"

"..."

Indeed, it was night. The wagon was pretty dark, only slightly illuminated by the still-burning candle and the weak moonlight shining through the gaps of the closed windows.

I closed my eyes once more and changed them back to the slitted pupils. Everything turned bright as if it was daytime.

"... Knew it."

"Yumi? Mind telling me what is going on?"

"Nn. Sis. I figured it out."

"Figured out what?"

"My eyes. I can see in the dark..."

To think it had been this... That finally explained why Karen thought I had been able to see in the dark. Because I, indeed, had been able to. Although, I was fairly sure it still had been comparatively dark in the beginning, at night. Yet, right now, it was quite bright. How did I even miss this?

"... Your eyes? You mean, your original eyes?"

"Nn..."

"That... actually makes sense."

"It does..."

I took a good look around me. It was really as if it had been daytime. Not too bright or anything, just enough that I could make out everything around me.

But how did I miss this? Or rather, I am really sure I would've noticed before if it had been this bright at night...

Not like I could travel back in time and try it out, though.

"That's quite convenient. But, you can only see in the dark like that?"

"Nn."

"Then it's still better to keep it hidden... But at night, I doubt people are going to notice."

"Nn, probably. But it's really quite convenient, being able to see in the dark."

Even with only a little bit of light, I could see everything around me. That was bound to be useful. Never again having to look for something in the dark. Never again worrying about having a candle, lamp, flashlight or whatever ready in the night.

"It is, but you should still keep it hidden for now. There are many people around."

"Nn..."

How unfortunate. Well, she was right with that. Even if it was unlikely for someone to notice, that didn't mean it was impossible. And we wanted to keep the number of people who knew as low as we could manage. So, I changed my eyes back, with round pupils. It instantly turned dark again. Too dark...

"Then, let's go."

"Nn..."

Karen opened the door and left the wagon. A cold wind blew into the wagon through the door, catching me by surprise.

"Cold!"

"It is in the middle of the night after all. Of course, it is cold."

"Uhh..."

I stepped outside and was greeted with an even harsher cold and even more wind. In fact, despite us being inside a forest, it was awfully windy. Looking around, I saw dozens of wagons, all standing still on the road. Some mercenaries stood to the side and were talking, but most of them seemed to be at the front, trying to get rid of a literal wall of trees that blocked the road. Dozens of them had fallen over. And not just small trees, but actually massive, old trees as well.

"Sis, with so many... are we sure there won't be more trees falling down?"

"If those were deliberate we're probably safe, for now. If not... I don't know. The weather has been pretty good so..."

If the weather was fine, what else could accidentally throw over the trees, after all? It was more likely to be a manmade incident.

"They could still try to drop trees on the wagons."

"I don't think that would happen. The mercenaries are pretty alert, and Ria and the other magicians are on watch as well."

"Nn... So, all we can do is wait?"

"For now, yes."

It was nice to know that things would be safe, or as safe as it was possible in this situation. Regardless, when I peered into the forest it was still a little scary. It was so dark that not a lot of moonlight was getting through and you couldn't see past a few metres into the forest. Yet, despite it being night, there were constant noises, most likely animals, echoing through the forest. The night was surprisingly loud.

At least, it's not only animals making noise but the mercenaries too.

No matter the time, they still were in a pretty good mood. It was a little envious. Banter and laughter from all around us.

"Oh, right. Sis. I heard about your... talk with the captain..."

"Talk? Which one?"

"Was there more than one? Well, about us... staying with the mercenaries."

"Ahh. That one. That was quite a surprise, yes."

"Nn?"

Wasn't it a surprise for Korwen and not for Karen?

"Why a surprise?"

"Mh? Because I didn't expect the financial situation to be that different. A single day here with the mercenaries is half a month's wage for most other jobs. Even the non-magicians earn a lot better here..."

"That's... indeed, quite a difference."

"I know, right? And we even get food and lodging mostly for free—included, technically speaking."

But half a month's wage? Was it really that bad? Didn't that mean that just the pastry from the market was... really, really expensive? Like, seriously expensive. That shocked me a little.

"Sis, that still doesn't change that this is a dangerous profession."

"... Living in the slums was dangerous too. Saving Rina was dangerous too. Compared to that, this was pretty... relaxed?  So far, at least."

"But I doubt it'll stay that relaxed."

"It surely won't. On one side, I don't want any of you being exposed to danger but on the other side... You know, when Lily told us about Rina's goal, her revenge... I was wondering, what is my plan for the future. My goal."

"Your... goal?"

She nodded.

"Right now, what do I want to do? In the slums, I had a goal. I wanted to save Rina. But now, after that, what do I want to do?"

"..."

Karen lifted her gaze, staring straight at the moon.

"I thought about it for a while and... I want to know... About myself. About why we were exiled back then. I don't think I want revenge like Rina wants it but... I want answers. Real answers."

A sad smile floated on her face for but a moment.

"That's why... Staying with the mercenaries, we're likely to travel around, right? And I'm sure, one day we'll travel to Aldreigh. When that happens, I want to be able to confront this past of mine. Mine and Rina's past..."

"... I see. I'm sure, you'll be able to do that."

"I'd be glad if so."

She flashed a new smile, more cheerful than the previous one. Yet, her expression quickly turned serious again.

"Yumi."

"Nn?"

"Have you thought about what you want to do for the future?"

"..."

"Having a goal... I think, that's important, isn't it?"

"Nn..."

But... What did I even want to do? I kept saying I wanted to protect everyone but... What did I have to do for that? And... what else... did I want to do? Was there something else... I wanted to do?

"You should at least think about it for a little."

"... I'll try to."

"That's good."

Karen ruffled my hair.

"Come, let's take a look at what the others are doing over there."

"Nn."

She turned around and walked off, to the front where the trees had collapsed. I didn't follow her immediately, watching her back slowly distancing itself.

Plans for the future. What do I want to do... That's... a hard question.

Did I want to become a mercenary? I didn't know. Was it necessary for me to become one? I didn't know. Was there meaning in it? Maybe, maybe not. Was this the future I wanted to tread upon? I had no idea, not even the faintest of an idea. I hadn't... thought that far. I had only thought of the present.

Things I want to do in the future, huh...

Staring at Karen's back, I tried to imagine the future. A future with the both of us, with Lily, Rina, the three girls, maybe the mercenaries as well. How would it look like? I didn't know. But I did know, that I wanted it to be a future with everyone.

"Yumi? Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm coming."

With a small smile, I hurried after her.

Rinne

A happy second Advent! We're closing in on Christmas more and more. I imagine many of you will be busy in the next weeks.

The extra chapter hasn't been reached yet for this month, so if you don't mind skipping out on a coffee or two and instead read 3 chapters (or skip a few more coffees and read 6 instead), do take a look at my Patreon! I'd be happy if you did.

With that out of the way, I wish you all a nice week!

Thank you for reading!

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