Chapter 16: Chapter 13

The very next day, he indeed changed my daily routine up considerably. I didn’t need to play housewife the whole day but still had to cook for this glutton. At least he was eating the broad majority of my meals then, but that only helped in decreasing my workload slightly.

Did you know that a third times three equals one? And a third is a zero with an unlimited number of threes behind it, so if you multiplicate this number by three you get a zero with endless tailing nines, which is strange because it has to be one. On the first day, he taught me maths and started with this. I didn’t know how to add or subtract yet and he was already talking about the more advanced topics.

Honestly, he was a horrible and incompetent teacher and sometimes I wondered if his lessons were just an excuse to abuse me for my inability to follow. Maths, biology, physics, psychology, language, I had to suffer through all of these. But it wasn’t all bad, in particular when he was somewhere else again which happened more and more frequently. Then, I was alone and could teach myself through reading books. I spent whole days like this comfortably tucked in my bed, reading a book about different topics.

Even he was impressed each time he came back, but only slightly. Before I could catch up to his explanations of more complex matters, he was already moving on as if he didn’t want to teach me anything in the first place. It was frustrating and more than once, I couldn’t sleep at all because my body hurt too much from his physical abuse.

As I turned four, he increased the complexity even more by teaching me in different languages. I wasn’t yet at the point where I speak fluently, so I had my troubles with following, especially because he was also talking in languages I never heard before. I didn’t complain but rather asked for books about these languages which he readily provided.

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t interested that I learned stuff, he just didn’t want to teach me himself, but rather wanted me to suffer. And he made that painfully obvious at times, even for me who loved him like crazy. Truly, I was his pet, but that didn’t mean I liked that. I hated his constant abuse, I hated to see the blue and red marks on my whole body whenever I changed into my nightgown and I hated how he never gave me a way to vent my frustration after I killed the snake.

I could talk in three different languages when I turned five, knew how to do basic and a bit complex math, knew the biology of humans, basic physics and the basics of psychology. I basically stopped doing everything else, even sleeping and read books like crazy, hugged by Aska. These were the better moments in our lives and where I was the happiest person in the whole universe.

One day, as I was changing into my nightgown again, I caught him staring. He swiftly looked away as he never did anything like this previously, but even in underwear, I could see that he liked what he saw. I didn’t mention it at first, but I still found his behaviour somewhat confusing. Later that night, I clarified one thing.

“Aska, what is love to you?” He claimed to love me, but I couldn’t really believe him in that regard. I looked upwards into his eyes and tried to discern the truth.

“Possession. I want to own what I love.” I already knew that much, but his confirmation made it even worse. I didn’t want to be owned by him at all, I wanted to be free, play around with the blue lights that were always wandering in the distance and I wanted to make my own choices. Whatever it may cost, I was dead set on being free one day. I didn’t know what I would do then and still would live with Aska, but I always had the option to do whatever I desired this way.

And so, I studied even more until I found what I needed inside a biology book. I wasn’t sure if I interpreted his behaviour correctly, but I gambled on it as this was my only chance if I ever wanted to be his equal. The very next day, I started to touch the places that hurt a lot in my underwear and I had to smile as I noticed that he was looking towards me.

Over the next few years, I learned more about myself and him. At one point, I was so fed up with his behaviour that I salted his food like crazy. His visage as he ate the first bite was pure gold to me and I felt strangely satisfied until he nailed my right hand onto the table with his fork. Usually, the pain in purgatory is quite dull if one feels it in the first place, but this hurt like crazy, even more than drowning.

“If you ever do stuff like this again, I will torture you for real.” And that was basically it. His food was holy and I didn’t dare to ruin it afterwards anymore. Still, his behaviour changed abruptly afterwards as his abuse became even more violent whenever I failed at something. It was as if I couldn’t satisfy his wishes anymore or he simply was fed up with me.

At night though, my plan was already developing quite nicely. I increased the time I spent in my underwear next to him considerably and even massaged my arms while I sat on the edge of the bed, naturally while barely clothed. If he even noticed what I was doing gradually, he didn’t say anything at all, but let me do as I pleased. At some point as I was eight years old, his hands were roaming my back under my nightgown and he even healed the painful whipping marks.

My plan, in the beginning, was pretty simple. Get as close to him as possible so that he could not resist me anymore, but during my ninth year, I noticed that this wasn’t going to work at all. As I bandaged my arms one day because of how cut open they were, I understood that this simple thinking wasn’t going to work. I was basically giving myself to him, but he never crossed the line I desperately wanted him to.

The very next day, I didn’t wear my nightgown but snuggled on top of him in my underwear. I hoped that he wouldn’t say anything, but rather welcome this development. I was so wrong. He dragged me promptly to the oven and forced my hands over an open flame. He already did that previously, so I didn’t beg and held back my tears, knowing that it would only get worse if I did so. I still screamed loudly, but a sadist like him probably wanted to hear that and so he didn’t punish me for screaming.  

Trying to sleep in my underwear with him kind of ruined my progress for several weeks, so I didn’t try that again for quite some time. I still pushed everything to the limit though and no stone that would bring me closer to him was left unturned.

Still, the more I threw myself at him, the crueller he became. Even when I did everything correctly and he couldn’t complain about anything, I was still whipped, stabbed or burnt. My plan wasn’t working in the slightest so far, so I became even bolder. On my tenth birthday where he gifted me absolutely nothing, I managed to coax him into allowing me to sleep in my underwear. That worked surprisingly well, but it felt like his opinion of me hit rock bottom with this. The bit of love he showed to me in the beginning, was nowhere to be seen by then, but he still didn’t get bored of me. While he hated my character, he desired my body somewhat and this was what I was betting on the whole time.

On my eleventh birthday, he gifted me three new fishes. He was strangely grinning as I served him cooked salmon the very next day. After that, he didn’t give me any more toys to play around with. It was as if he wanted to test me and judging by his improved mood, I apparently passed with a perfect mark.

The psycho terror obviously continued the very next day, but I managed to make him sleep with a bare chest during that night. After that, my plan progressed even better as he began to touch me even during the day and his hands were roaming my back more forcefully during the night.

As I was progressing on one front, Aska became frustrated on another. I was so close to accomplishing my desires, but it was so hard to continue like this as he found some … innovative methods to tear me apart.

Still, I managed to hang in there and was rewarded for my efforts on my eleventh birthday. I was gifted another pet, this time a more intelligent one. Initially, I wasn’t even so keen on playing with it as I knew I would get bored of it eventually, but as soon as I noticed that Aska would torment me considerably less while I played with him, I didn’t hold back anymore, although I tried to keep him alive as much as possible.

Yes, I was torturing an ape and yes, I knew exactly what I was doing. I even enjoyed his pain as I stabbed him and I loved how Aska was looking at me as I continued. He was looking at me full of satisfaction and desire that I thought that he wouldn’t hold back for too long anymore. Sometimes, he even joined me and showed me a side of him that I never saw before. He had fun while he tortured the ape and I couldn’t help but see the difference between how he pained me and the ape. He didn’t enjoy torturing me at all, but rather kept a bored face all the time while he was constantly smiling as he stabbed the animal.

Aska managed to hold back for quite some time. My situation didn’t change at all, but I started to pity the ape a bit. I knew how it felt what he experienced, but that didn’t stop me from torturing him one bit. It was either him or me, so I tried to keep him alive as long as possible. He managed to kill himself after a month or so. I wondered how this happened, but I suspected that Aska played a role in the animal’s death. Aska sadly didn’t replace him, but rather put his focus back on me.

During that whole month, I started to realize something. Aska had expectations for me I couldn’t grasp at all. I didn’t ask more about this, fearing that he would hurt me again, but I noticed when I could meet these expectations and when I didn’t. He was plenty satisfied when I played with the ape, but he was frustrated whenever I wasn’t.

As I wasn’t able to find out anything about his expectations, so I chose to ignore them until a later date. I was more focused on making him realize that his love for me was way beyond wanting to own me.

As I turned thirteen and noticed that my body, although still looking incredibly young, now represented my real age judging by a few biology books I read, I chose to give him a little push by ruining his holy grail. I ruined a whole buffet I prepared by seasoning it way too much. Aska obviously noticed after the first bite and stared at me in disgust as I was smiling happily and chewing on my food as if everything was alright.

This time, he didn’t flip the table but rather smashed it into two pieces. Food was all over the place as he stood up and stomped towards me as angry as I had never seen him before. I still smiled weakly, but in all honestly, I was scared by the possibility that it didn’t work out as I planned in advance. I didn’t resist as he pushed me towards the ground and held my arms above me.

“Didn’t I tell you to never do this shit again?” He was losing control fast and already stabbed me multiple times full of frustration. His face was contorted and showed absolutely no enjoyment. I found that strangely relieving as it meant that he felt exactly like I did. I enjoyed playing with others as well, but I couldn’t see myself enjoying hurting Aska at all. I mean, I would stab him if there was a good reason for it, but I wouldn’t enjoy it one bit.

As soon as he cut my arm a second time with his knife, he let it go and grabbed the hem of my dress. He was grinning wildly as he ripped my dress apart and I could see his burning lust behind his eyes. Right then, he was desiring me more than ever. Combining ruining his food with constant nightly teasing was the right move. I basically sold my body for my goals, but so be it. At least I would escape part of the torture I was living through daily.

I was excited as he grabbed my bra and already imagining a future where I was free, where I was able to go outside and where I could do whatever I wanted. He started pulling on it and with satisfaction, I saw how he ogled skin he rarely saw before.

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And then … he stopped. Before he saw anything inappropriate, he let go of my bra.

“Fuck.” Yeah, fuck. I didn’t expect that at all. Everything went perfectly, but then he had to act out of line. Why couldn’t he behave as I read in different books? Why was he able to contain his lust so successfully? And why did he have to ruin my plan at the last minute? “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

I was basically fuming with anger as I instantly approved of his opinion. We would have gone through with it, all the way, but he just had to reject the only thing that he desired from me.

It wasn’t all lost though. I planned for this moment years in advance and so I naturally thought about all possibilities, even this one.

“What? Aren´t you man enough to have sex with me?” He must have noticed that this was my intent from the very beginning, but I didn’t care about that. He laughed at my words at first, but then looked away from me to think about everything calmly. Exactly what I didn’t want him to do.

“That’s not it. It was just never planned that I get addicted to you.” He basically said it as if it was a given that I fell in love with him but couldn’t accept that the same thing happened to him, at least partly. He desired me, but he still disliked my character for some reason.

“Ahh… how troublesome…” I swiftly switched to another plan I prepared in advance. If he wasn’t willing to take me right then, I would force him to get addicted to me or however he wanted to call it. “Either you make love with me right now, or I will fuck some random human later.”

He was flabbergasted by my sudden change in behaviour but grew angry quite quickly. He pulled the knife out of my upper arm and stabbed it to my right into the ground. I didn’t even flinch, but it showed how much he hated both options.

“I will torture you if you do that.” He was looking at me intensely in anger, but also strangely interested in how I would react to that.

“Sure, but then you will have to live with the fact that someone else already had his way with me.” I was full of smiles, knowing that he could never accept that. He let go of my arms and started to smile for some reason. Something was very wrong in his head, but I already knew that much.

“And if I never give you a human male?” He was taking quite an interesting approach to the issue, and yet …

“I see no problem with that, a woman would be fine too. And we both know that I will get in contact with a human someday. So, what do you choose?” I knew that he would never accept that I slept with someone else, but he didn’t want to take the other option as well for some weird reason.

“How about taking the third option? Starting anew?” I didn’t get what he wanted to tell me with that and pondered about my reply for several seconds until he just grabbed my arm, pulled me up and dragged me behind him. We were walking towards the room I was never allowed entry to. No, it was not the broom closet, but rather the large room in the back of the house that was always locked. Without the need for a key, he opened the door and dragged me into the barely lit room where glowing runes were embedded into the ground.

“What is this?” The runes were in a language I didn’t know and all of them were written inside a circle.

“That’s a magical circle that can change anything into whatever the user wishes for. It can even remove memories. Do you want to take back your threat?” Daringly, I stepped into the circle and waited for his reaction. He kneeled near it and placed his hands on the edge, seemingly uncaring about my choice. “Any last words?”

“Yes. Do you want me to stab you that badly?” I laughed hysterically as Aska activated the magical circle. I made no move to escape this predicament, but rather enjoyed how the light enveloped me. It wasn’t too bright and was so colourful that I was kind of mesmerized by it. Suddenly, the brightness increased rapidly and I had to close my eyes. A second later, all of it was gone.

“Fuck. Again.” As I expected, I still had my memories and felt perfectly fine. Aska on the other hand was quite frustrated that I didn’t fall for his bluff.

“Tell me, how does it feel to lose?” He slammed his fist on the ground as I kneeled right in front of him. Our knees touched each other and we were both looking into each other’s eyes. Gently, I touched his cheek with my hand and wiped a bit of food away.

“Bad. How long in advance did you plan all of that?” I didn’t get his interest in my plan, but I saw that he wasn’t looking at me with disgust anymore, probably because of my sudden behaviour change.

“Years … And? What do you choose?” He smiled gently and pushed me backwards onto the ground. This time, he was surprisingly gentle and even held my head so it wouldn’t hurt. My heart was racing like crazy and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. I was short of gaining my freedom I worked for all these years.

“There isn´t much to choose, is there?” As soon as I laid on the ground, he started kissing my nape and spread my legs apart with his knee. “Tell me, what do you really want by doing this?”

I couldn’t think clearly anymore and was way too engrossed in my own feelings to notice that I was losing control of the situation faster than I gained it. The thought of gaining freedom was driving me crazy just so short before the finish line. “I want to be your equal. Stop limiting my freedom and don’t hurt me anymore. You didn’t like doing that anyway.”

“Alright, I promise to do exactly that.” He kissed me on my beet red cheek and made me melt by his touches on my legs and belly. “And in return, you promise me that you will never do this kind of stuff with anyone else.”

I saw no reason to refuse, so I happily nodded while his hand on my belly travelled downwards, sending shivers down my spine. “I promise, but I will break it if there is no other way.”

And then he stopped. This fucker seriously turned me on just to muddle my mind. Seriously, he didn’t have to do that in the first place as he could easily ask me what I wanted before he made my heart race. I wouldn’t have refuted him this way either, but no, he just had to play around with me. He stood up, looked at my dishevelled appearance satisfied and turned towards the door.

“W… why?” I was dumbfounded and didn’t know what was going on at all. Was he seriously not eating the meal that presented itself in front of him?

“You are too young for me. Get a few years older and then we can talk about this again.” The door closed behind him, leaving me alone in the room. I was blinking rapidly, unsure what exactly happened, but also quite happy that he promised me to treat me as his equal now.

I couldn’t really wrap my head around why he stopped. I mean, we both got what we desired out of this. But still, I knew that he wanted me quite badly, so why did he stop? And why did this feel so unsatisfying, why was I so sad that he didn’t push further, despite only trying to coax him into it so that I could get my freedom?

I stood up, grabbed into my hair and stormed out of the room, ready to throw a few noodles at him for leaving me behind like this. An empty hallway greeted me. I didn’t even have to search the whole house to know that he was gone. This house just didn’t feel the same when he wasn’t around.

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