Chapter 306: Chapter 2.24

“Checkmate.” Yeah, it was checkmate for me. I lost the third game of chess in a row against Luna with great difficulty. It was hard to lose against her without giving myself away. After all, I played against a grandmaster once … okay, I was losing against him but he died before he could take my king, so it was a remis … in a sense.

Quite flustered, I looked at the grandfather clock and noticed that it was already well after two o´clock.

“Uhh … Luna, I have to go now.” I said while the corners of my mouth curved downwards. I wanted to spent so much time with her, but I also needed to meet Tom and Hannah and deal with the church which would eventually realise I woke up.

“Will you come back?” She asked while looking down.

“In a few days. There are a few things I have to do first.” I mentioned unhappily.

“Lucy … thank you for being my friend. Living as a noble is quite lonely … the commoners look at you as if you were from a different world and the other nobles are … they focus on themselves more than anything.” She said which made me frown a little. Two hundred years and humanity progressed from point a to point a again. Were they even capable of learning as a society?

“I have exactly the same problem. Everyone will be looking at me with expectations I cannot possibly fulfil … so thank you for seeing me as I am.” I said and grabbed the handle of the door. “See you in a few days!”

“See you!” Luna answered happily and probably still waved as I was brought outside by a butler who didn´t even mind that I waved to Luna from the front yard while she did so out of a window. A completely black carriage greeted me outside, standing there as if nothing was wrong.

But I could feel that something was wrong. My guts hurt the moment I looked at this ominous thing and especially as the coachman opened the door for me. I cleared my throat as I stepped inside and sat down on the comfortable bench without saying anything before the door closed again.

“Whore.” I said, not even looking at the succubus right next to me.

“Slut.” Some things change. But others stay the same even after two hundred years of slumber.

“Have you ever thought about ending your pitiful life?” I asked dryly.

“Yeah. I thought about dual suicide just a few seconds ago.” She said jokingly.

“Oh, we can really do that if you want. No problem at all.” I would resurrect, she wouldn’t.

“Sadly, I don’t have a rope to strangle you.” She commented about the impossibility of my endeavour.

“Oh, don’t worry. I can kill you with my hands and then I will throw myself in front of another carriage. How does that sound?” I proposed.

“Can we do it the other way around?” She asked slightly hopeful.

“Certainly not.” I answered.

“Too bad … I would have loved to see you being flattened even more than you are now.” She commented.

“You little whore.” I growled angrily.

“Little? Your growth is indeed as unimpressive as it can get for two hundred years. How tall are you now? One dwarf? One and a half?” She asked while trying to gauge my height with two fingers.

“Stop measuring me in dwarfs!” I said angrily.

“I can measure you in your breast size if you want … oh wait, the number for that hasn’t been invented yet.” She said and chuckled happily. But jokes on her, imaginary numbers were real, it was just that she didn’t know them.

“Hmpf … that one goes to you.” I growled and looked out of the window.

“Too easy.” She said, even though this was just one round of many. “And? How was your sleep?”

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“Without a hyperactive whore giving me cancer? Ten out of then would fall in coma again.” I stated and chuckled loudly.

“Go on then.” She proposed as if that was possible.

“Jokes aside, I learned how I can finally shut your mouth during the day.” I said and smiled happily.

“Oh?” She raised her eyebrow in wonder and looked at me a little bit strangely.

“It is called P.G.” I stated and gave her a thumbs up.

“And what is that?” She asked, already thinking about what P.G. could mean.

“Think about it for a little while before you ask me again.” I said and looked out of the window. For a little while it honestly worked perfectly. She did shut up while thinking about all the possible meanings which was honestly exactly what I needed. Every time she used her tongue to speak, I felt anger boiling in me.

And so, I could enjoyed my ride to Tom´s home which was unsurprisingly the villa I fell into coma, flattened and rebuild to look more unsuspicious and probably a lot more usable as well, thanks to the missing auction room.

“Wow, you two really did build a home for yourselves.” I said after gazing at the luxurious items in the foyer.

“What is P.G. ?” The whore asked while guiding me downstairs.

“I don’t know.” I admitted while wondering how many stairs this stairwell had exactly. 69 … a weird number, but I could see why they decided on that.

“You … okay, this time you won.” She admitted and led me through a few dimly lit hallways in silence.

“Did Tom not manage to make these magical glasses?” I asked in wonder. There was really no reason for him to live like a hermit otherwise.

“No. We tried, but nothing happened as we finalized it. And besides, unlike you, Tom is burning during the day.” She said casually. But it made me realise once again that I was a little bit different from your common vampire.

“Straight up burning? Poor fellow.” I commented dryly.

“Yeah, his skin is sizzling and so on. I honestly don’t even want to remember that. It looked disgusting.” I could almost imagine it. Wait, I could imagine it as I burned a few humans at the stake a few years ago.

“How is he managing to hide then?” I asked in confusion. Wouldn’t it be quite uncommon not to be available during the whole day?

“Oh, you two are the only vampires on this world, at least as far as we know. And nobody suspects you to be a vampire these days.” She said and stopped in front of a door.

“That comes in handy.” I admitted as the whore opened the door wide and strode into the room.

“Yo.” Tom greeted, sitting at a rather luxurious desk.

“Yo? Not even heyho?” I asked in wonder. Hannah didn´t like it as I greeted her with a few words, but Tom was apparently on the completely different side of the spectrum.

“What do you expect from a hungry vampire that hasn’t eaten anything since your letter arrived?” He asked while grinning wryly.

“Oh … I like where this is going.”

 

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