Chapter 469: Chapter 2.188

Underneath a whole lot of old blankets, I laid on my back, the two twins nestling their head at my shoulders asleep.

Was I too easy? Was I trying to pluck the aching hole in my heart Luna left behind so quickly? No … at least I didn’t think so. I viewed none of them in the same way I had seen Luna, not even remotely.

But I also knew that taking these two lost children could be fun … in the future when the pain had subsided. But at this point, I was numb to any attempt they made at cheering me up. Their silly actions did reach my heart, but they were devoured by a bottomless pit of sorrow. The only hope I had was that flask, containing a shining soul only I could see.

I wouldn’t put her back in her old body, that was for sure. I had enough emotionless puppets at my disposal and I certainly didn’t want to see her become one.

Maybe … with Irminsul help, maybe I could make a new body for her … or maybe not. But I wouldn’t give up on restoring her, no matter what. The twins with their attempts at winning my heart wouldn’t change that, Aska couldn’t change that, nobody could.

And so, I held onto that last lifeline I had for Luna while listening to the sounds of water splashing against the wooden hull of the boat. But honestly, I was way too tired to freak out because of the water.

I just couldn’t.

I also didn’t say anything as the twins woke up at dawn and they both kissed my cheeks right away.

“Morning.” I muttered and pulled the blankets off ourselves as soon as Hannah gave us approval.

As some of them were already sleeping quietly in the rather long rowboat, I placed my hands into the mouth of these balls of energy by my side and looked at Schwarz who stared at the sky.

“Miss Dove is pretty sure there is an island northwest of here.” Yeah … as if that would tell me anything. How did one navigate using the stars again?

“And Lucy, can you please stop this? I don’t think I can sleep that way.” No I could not stop flooding the area around us with death. I didn’t want to be attacked by any sea monster after all, but if Schwarz seriously wanted to get out of my protection he was free to jump off board and … I don’t know? Dive down? Shaking my head, I shooed the twins into their positions and sat on the place Schwarz just left for the tip of the boat where we spent the whole day.

“Can we sing a song?” Clarice asked, even though she absolutely knew that this was out of question. Otherwise she wouldn’t whisper.

“No.” I whispered back loud enough for both of them to hear me.

“Please.” Clara begged quietly.

“We’ll sing one later when everyone is awake. And now be quiet already.” I mumbled, picked up the paddles and started rowing alongside the twins. They apparently didn’t need words to converse at all, at Clarice turned her head around from time to time which made both of them giggle right away.

“Do you know telepathy?” I asked. I kind of liked the strong bond they had, but communicating without any words … I couldn’t imagine that.

“Nope.” Clara admitted quietly.

“What’s so funny then?” I asked tired out, my eyelids threatening to close again.

“It’s so exiting to be so far away from home!” Clarice said a little bit too loud for comfort.

“You … never left your home that far?” I asked a bit stunned.

“No.” Clara admitted quietly.

“The demon king always said we were too irresponsible to adventure out.” Clarice revealed which was actually understandable. I couldn’t imagine these two girls fulfilling any task I gave them without fooling around.

“Yeah … all we could do was to hunt a few demonic animals nearby and that was it.” Clara stopped paddling while thinking about the past.

“Got kind of stale after a while.” Clarice added, leaving me alone to paddle while they told me their story.

“So we started fighting each other.” Oh … at least that explained why they fought so dirty.

“But even that got boring after a little while.” Clarice said.

“So we started challenging the other demon generals.” Conscious of their mistake by not paddling, both of them resumed their actions right away.

“But none of them liked us …” Clarice puffed her cheeks a bit bummed out.

“And they were mean.” Clara added and followed her sisters example, even though she shouldn’t be able to see her sisters’ actions.

“Very mean.”  Said sister added.

“Okay … I get it. You were bored out of your minds.” I stopped them from telling me any more than that because I knew exactly where their story went.

“And then you came!” Clara said and threw her arms into the air happily while I could only furrow my brows a little. All I did was beat the crap out of them and they got this attached to me? How messed up where they? Well, considering that I wasn’t any better in that regard, maybe it had been fate for us to find each other.

“Get back to rowing.” I mumbled, already thinking about going back to bed depressed.

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“Yes, mum!” Clara said and resumed rowing furiously.

“Don’t call me that.” I growled unhappily.

“She said mam?” Clarice tried to defend her sister, but I could see through her lie easily.

“Liar.” I mumbled tired.

“Uhh … please don’t hit me!” Clarice said quietly while her sister giggled childishly.

“I don’t want to fall into water, so I’m definitely not going to do that.” I stated, looking over to my side to see the the rather flat water.

Unhappily and still full of sorrow, we continued rowing the whole night, with me admonishing the twins every ten minutes or so because they stopped moving their paddles. They did provoke it though. It was as if they wanted me to get angry at them, which didn’t work out at all.

My heart was still clouded in sorrow.

And my splintered soul, thanks to all the magic I used certainly dove me deeper into a downwards spiral. I was long past the point where my emotions ran rampant. It was just that I couldn’t feel anger at this point. I couldn’t panic because of all the water either.

My mind was too occupied with what I did wrong and how I drove Luna into her death. I shouldn’t have taken her with me … but I thought that this time could be different. Just once …

“Lucy?” I was woken up from daydreaming by Hannah who hugged me from behind. “It’s okay to cry, you know?” Even the twins looked at me differently at this point with an emotion that I never thought possible within the vampiric race. Compassion.

“There are no more tears left … can you take over?” I whispered unhappily and gripped the paddles tightly.

“Sure. I’ll wake up Louis and Ellie. Do you two want your birds now?” Hannah asked the two twins, but I could already imagine the answer.

“I’m fine.” Clara shook her head furiously.

“Not hungry at all.” Clarice did exactly the same. They both rather waited hoping to drink the blood of the humans on the boat than to drink animal blood … and I could understand that.

Shortly after that, I slipped back underneath the pile of blankets with the two twins following immediately afterwards. This time, they laid their cheeks on my chest and hugged each other while intertwining their legs around mine.

“What are you doing?” They were pressing themselves against me at every possible spot they could.

“We know how it is to be alone …” Clara said to my right, looking at me with her deep red eyes.

“… and you are feeling how we felt back then.” Clarice added, glancing upwards as well.

“And we don’t want that.” Clara whispered.

“I’m sorry … but you can’t replace her.” I admitted. Nobody could do so.

“What are you talking about? Nobody could replace my sister either. So don’t even try it. But we want you to know that you aren’t alone. Hannah is there for you, we want to help you and for some reason, that human girl also wants to.” Clara whispered looking upwards to me until I finally stopped gazing down.

“I know … but I don’t know what to do with that knowledge.” I admitted. It was kind of nice that I had a few who attempted to cheer me up, but none of them could do it that well.

“Sometimes it’s helping to talk …” Clara said quietly.

“… and sometimes we punch each other. But we always convey our feelings in some way or another. So how are you feeling?” Clarice asked in a hushed tone.

“I’m … empty. She was my best friend and made me smile each and every day. She … she died for me once already in her previous life. Back then I swore I wouldn’t let go of her again but I failed miserably, didn’t I? And now I don’t know what to do. I’m lost … because I cannot bear to lose her once more.” I confessed, which drew tears out of my eyes once more.

“Do you feel better?” Clara asked quietly.

“A bit.” It was a total lie. If anything, all they did was to make me think about the past which was a horrible idea. But I also understood that they wanted to cheer me up and thus didn’t want to be mean to them.

“Just sleep now, will you?” I asked quietly.

“Okay mum.” But that dragged me away from these painful memories back into the present.

“Hey.” I growled angrily. I wasn’t entirely sure if they wanted to irk me, or if they were really trying make me accept being called like this. Whatever it was, I didn’t like it.

“She still said mam. Clara, I think she has gotten a little deaf over the long time she lived.” Clarice pointed out.

“A little? We are all screaming at her the whole time!” And together, they earned another fist onto their head which calmed them down immediately. I could feel them pressing themselves against me once more before drifting off into sleep, leaving me alone with a whole lot of pain in my heart.

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