Chapter 14: Chapter 13.5: Woes of a sapient spider

Itsy had come to accept that she was an intelligent entity, she could process, analyze and memorize information of all kinds. Her sister Whiskers had yet to truly awaken which made her slightly sad.

Why? Because she had no one to truly share her sapience with.

Her master could not understand... No, that was not right. He did not try to understand her, when she tried to show affection or any form of higher intellect action, she was spoiled to high heavens and then promptly left to her own devices.

The weird thing was, he was thinking about her constantly, her wants and needs were always somewhere in the back of his mind. But there was a small asterisk to it.

There was no, she could not give it a word but something was lacking. The world itself is so new to her may have something to do with it but it felt deeper.

If she were to try to explain it... It would be that her actions did not have weight. For all the affection that was thrown in her direction, whenever she took action and tried to incite something, it did not have any real impact.

She would never on her soul try to generate a negative emotion from him on purpose. That went counter to her very existence but she wanted something, anything.

She was treated the same when his friends abandoned him when he almost died and the days he spent in the hospital. 

The treatment itself was stellar, with constant feedings and giving her pecks and kisses while letting her wrap him in her web. The monster girl Itsy was in heaven and was so satisfied that all it required him was to dream a command and she would obey. 

It was the burgeoning sapient entity that was Itsy that was not so satisfied. She wanted some sort of agency in this relationship and she felt like that part of her was getting snubbed. 

If she was to be a doll and nothing more, she would understand. She would be happy about it, in fact. As she would know her role and act accordingly.

But that was not the case at all.

Her master was constantly bending to her whims be it sexual or otherwise. Maybe if she could speak in his language, they could communicate better but she had yet to develop any meaningful vocal cords so that was out of the question. But she gave him signs often enough and yet it felt like he was blind to them all.

It was like there was this wall... That did not fit. It was more like something was missing, something he fundamentally lacked. 

What it was? She could not be sure. But she knew there was something off, she did how she knew what she knew. She had yet to understand why she could understand things at all but it was what it was.

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A part of her wanted to regress and be like Whiskers, she loved their master just as much as she and abused his kindness to the best of her abilities though she was just as devoted to him as she was.

There it was again, he showed kindness to every monster girl he came across, tried to come at situations from their side and he genuinely made them feel happy, Dee was the latest example.

Yet even in this, there was a sense of wrongness. There was this small disconnect between his thoughts and actions that she just could not wrap her webs around.

She did not why but she knew that kindness should be accompanied by a sort of fulfilling feeling or a darker more hidden edge.

Her master lacked both, it felt more like an instinct and a... sense of duty? she was not sure...

Maybe that was the problem? She was not sure why he did what he did. No... that too was not the answer. 

That was the crux of her problem. She felt like she should know why there were so many things wrong with him and yet at this crucial juncture her instincts had failed her.

She was spiraling for the umpteenth time and took a deep breath to calm her excited mind. 

They had an eternity together, eventually, she would understand him, it was only a matter of time.

Sure it irked her in the present but she could wait. She was a spider after all and they were very good at waiting.

 

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