Chapter 35: Chapter 30: Did I f*ck up… again?

Simon was sweating. He thought he was making up some bullshit and Maria would become indebted to him so on and so forth.

He did not know that there was some significant magic present in the bestowed titles and that he could use that authority. Not the angel that was hugging him with her soft feathery wings wrapped around him in a blanket had anything to say about it. Simon felt that she was happy, in a way only monster girls could be. She was asleep, and the massive influx of power caused her mind to need some time to adjust. She wanted a body pillow in the meantime and so Simon was an acting body pillow right now. Rawr answered his thoughts.

'I mean... I could have told you that. None of your monsters are gaining any experience from your essence, not even I can. All of it is being pumped into the celestial plain for the great celestial overlords to eat at their leisure in exchange for miracles and blessings the order uses. That is because you are an acolyte due to technicality you possess all of the authority that comes with it though none of the gifted power.'

Simon figured that bit out himself. He had learned the art of bullshitting from an early age. The trick was to make sure to add just enough truth so that it was easy to draw easy 'conclusions' in the event you got caught. Right now, Simon was suffering from the fact that he bullshitted a bit too deep and what he thought was fiction was reality. Essentially, he dug his own grave. A soft angelic grave it was though.

'I guessed as much. The order took most of the benefits for fucking a monster girl other than the sustenance aspect. But I thought it was because of the bullshit they did when I go to bed.'

Simon hated how events were progressing much faster and erratically for his mind could keep up.

Want a spider? Lose your friends!

Travel a bit? Meet a woman!

Do a trial? Get a warped bond!

Do a dungeon? Fight a secret boss!

Check out your magic? Get a dragon AND get mind-fucked by the celestial order!

Slightly exaggerate some rules you heard in passing? Get an angel!

'If it was a simple magical effect you could just absorb it. The reason you could not was that it is more like giving a part of yourself to a higher being for benefits. Since you got no blessings, even the basic shit. Those cum-slut whores could not touch your essence so it was returned to you. Also! I and Maria are not negative! Do not worry! For Rawr will take care of you!'

Simon sighed. Rawr had a weird way of centering him. He wondered if Rawr started learning his ticks. He got back into the conversation, however. 

'Hmm... How did I get it back? I should still be an acolyte.'

'Oh! Easy! See when Maria lost all her tethers to the celestial plane, as an extraplanar pseudo entity she needed an anchor otherwise she would simply cease to exist. Since you accepted her you became her anchor which technically makes you a 'supreme celestial' and the celestial laws have no influence over you. All of the stored essence across everyone was dumped into her and in a single stroke, you got a Seraphim and added 'celestial' to your growing list of subtypes. Fascinating stuff actually, the number of random things that aligned would make you nothing short of a novel protagonist.'

Simon started to sweat.

'...Is this going to bite me back in the ass?...'

Rawr answered, in a very matter-of-fact fashion.

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'Most likely. You are a 'greater infernal human' with celestial properties. This puts you in a very unique position and normally you would be very desired. But I do not think the order will like you much. You did this by 'borrowing' the order's authority and they have no hold over you neither are you some influential member who wants the order to succeed. I would say you became a very big target for the order. Legally You are fine because as you said you upheld their rules and this could be grounds to have you released from the order's custody though I cannot be sure.'

He guessed that he had to add becoming a target of the order on his list of growing shit.

'So you are saying that I am fucked.'

'Eh! Not really, at least they cannot hurt you directly. Anyone bonded to an angel automatically gets some very decent perks and Maria probably can easily help you navigate those treacherous trenches.'

So he only had to worry about knives in the back. Lovely!

'So you are saying there will be 'divine intervention'.'

'Probably?... Sorry master I am a bit out of my depth here. The celestial order does use dragons, a shocker I know, but the information I can draw from the 'memory of ancients' through them is hazy. Maria could help you more right now.'

Simon put his hands on the sleeping angel's head and slowly stroked it. A soft moan left Maria's lips.

'Yeah... but she needs the hug and rest right now. Her whole world has just turned upside down.'

'And they say you are evil. Hypocritic cumless pigs the lot of them. When I reach the apex of my power we are going to visit the guy who runs this circus and we will have words! Words! I tell you!'  

Well, Simon was pretty sure Rawr threatened to level the city more than once.

'Maybe! But that is besides the point! I am an evil slut you have to reign in and slap your dick around! Then I stay as a good little girl! I am saying you are not evil!'

'I do it because it serves me to be good to you. You should know that. I do not do it as some gesture of kindness,'

'Pish-posh. You bend over backward to keep us happy and you are always thinking about us! That puts well above most tamers!'

"Excuse me... Umm... Do you sell your services?..." a voice broke into their conversation.

"HUH!?!"

'HUH!!?!'

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