Chapter 7: Chapter 7: Trauma

"WE ARE GOING OUR SEPARATE WAYS! THAT IS FINAL!"

Mike shouted, his voice seething with hurt rage.

Jim for his part remained stoic, but the slight quiver in his step gave away his emotions.

Both the arachne tried to comfort their distressed tamers but held their distance fearing the rejection they felt through their bond manifest in reality.

This was a truly sad sight but not an uncommon one for survivors of a 'feral feed'. The monster girls now truly bonded to their tamers and gave themselves in their entirety to the tamers but such feelings were not enforced on the tamer. Their last encounter with said bonded is a complete removal of one's agency and a very real fear for one's life to the extreme.

This more often than not causes a deep-rooted trauma into the usually teenage naive tamers who were raised in relative peace. This has led to many a tamer being unable to perform and can take years of intervention to slowly heal. On rare occasions, it has even led to the tamer taking his own life.

Simon was taught the tragedies of what could happen, they all were. He just forgot that unlike him most people did not have the constitution or power or mental state to shrug such a harrowing encounter off as a horny mistake. 

He only wished this did not cost him his only two friends but that possibility became more and more distant.

"Look, I know, it was my bad..." Simon tried to appease.

"My bad! MY BAD! That is all you have to say for yourself?! You had a monster girl that could have easily fucked them over! But NO! IN YOUR INFINITE FUCKING WISDOM YOU THOUGHT THAT THEY WOULD MAKE GOOD TEAMMATES FOR US WITHOUT ONCE CONSULTING! D-O YO-U KN-OW"...hic..."Do you know how it felt wrapped in fuc-king darkness, painful fucking ven-om coursing through"...hic..." through your ve-ins, while you fucki-ng ble-d cum..."

Mike, the man who despised crying, broke down sobbing as his arachne did all in its power to comfort the broken young man who did not even have the strength in him to act on his fear, seeking any form of support he could. His brother, joined in the hug while Jim's arachne stared daggers at him.

Their eyes accused him, to the spider girls their traumatized tamers were the start and end of their existence. If they could, they would have gone in the past and killed themselves than see the pain their feral state had caused to their beloved.

Simon wanted to join in but the posture of the monster girls screamed violence if he so much as approached their precious tamers.

So all he could do was wait and see as years of friendship broke down in front of him.

He wished he could go back and make different decisions but not even the gods had the power to reverse time. All he could do was accept the consequences.

Every instinct in him wanted to use his unique abilities on his friends, to not have to deal with his mistakes. But he knew that was a quick fix and would not help in the long run, his parents were living proof of that. A level 3 bond where his dad barely even acknowledged his mother, and acted like she is not there. His mom has yet to earn her forgiveness and she wallows in the one thing his dad gives freely his essence.

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So he was stuck, unable to do anything, and watching the two friends break down in front of him. His mind going through any possible thing he could change.

Finding himself wanting, he started to pack up the tent, wracked with guilt but with no outlet, only the sobbing image of Jim and Mike seared into his mind.

The decision, in the end, was a sucker punch even if it was expected, he would be left to his own devices and both Mike and Jim would go to the Sirenport and Simon would not follow. It was night once again by the time they calmed down.

"But!"

"No fucking buts! We can't fucking trust you! You do whatever the fuck but leave us alone! I know you are part infernal. If you follow I will fucking yell at the church that you fucked us over! Not even your washed-up whore of a dad can save you then." Mike yelled.

That hit one nerve an extremely delicate nerve.

"THE FUCK! I fucked up. I admit that. But do not fucking bring my dad into this! He is the only reason you even exist."

"Do not try me, half-demon! You were always a mistake and you know it! It just took you nearly killing us for me to realize it."

"Oh Yeah!..."

"Drop it. Simon. Mike. Right now both of you are heated and things are going to be said that none of you mean till it does so stop it, both of you."

Jim spoke up his tone steady.

"Simon... You fucked up and we can't trust you anymore. So, please. Leave us be. Maybe one day I will gather the strength to forgive you but not now, not today. So, please. Listen to our request."

With that he started walking away, his arachne grabbing all the camping equipment, including mine, and left.

Mike obediently followed his normally much more timid twin.

Simon just stood there in the ruins of the camp that imitated the state of the one friendship he valued equal to his family.

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