Chapter 7: 7

7. Squire Commander Helga’s Recollections

Helga, she remembered her childhood very well, especially, when she had the best festival in the village, and such a memory came to mind.

—————–Flashback—————–

It was a festival held on the day Young Lord Faust was born.

Polydro territory was a small village with less than 300 people and everyone knew each other.

All the people living there used to visit the Feudal Lord’s mansion to see the face of Young Lord Faust when he was born.

Of course, Helga, who came from a family lineage that had served as a Squire Commander in Polydro territory for generations, was one of them.

Young Lord Faust was a child who didn’t cry, which was rare for a baby.

Young Lord Faust, who was the first child of the Lord of Polydro Territory―― Lady Marianne, was a boy, and Helga’s mother and others were drunk and in high spirits, saying that he would eventually become a pretty noble man.

Even though the village, which was part of Polydro territory, was by no means wealthy, the village chief opened up the village’s food store in a good mood, as if to make full use of this opportunity.

The children, including Helga, also enjoyed the feast and filled their bellies.

――Such village’s shadows didn’t last for long, as Lady Marianne’s husband passed away from pneumonia not long after.

“This is a petition from all the people. Marianne-same, please take a new husband.”

It was the words of a plea from Helga’s mother, the Squire Commander.

Though it was known how much Lady Marianne loved her late husband.

It just couldn’t be helped.

Without the eldest daughter who could inherit the Polydro territory, the village wouldn’t survive.

Besides looking at her mother, who bowed her head deeply, Helga looked at Lady Marianne’s complexion.

“……”

It was as if she was tormented between her duties as a Feudal Lord and her love for her husband, whom she could never forget.

And then――Lady Marianne, turned a little strange.

Perhaps, it was because of the excess of anguish.

She began to teach her son, Young Lord Faust, about spears and swords.

Of course, she was stopped.

By the village chief and Helga’s mother.

Also, by the deceased husband’s relatives,

However, Lady Marianne ignored all that persuasion and continued to teach swordsmanship and spearmanship to Young Lord Faust.

Eventually, everyone gave up.

Lady Marianne had gone mad.

The child――Young Lord Faust would soon realize that no other boys were doing such a thing, sooner or later he would get angry and stop doing it.

Lady Marianne had gone crazy.

People could only hope that a strong and excellent wife would come to Lord Faust.

But.

Young Lord Faust simply followed Lady Marianne’s teachings.

In addition to the education in governance and management, he was physically tortured.

Even though he was a noble, he was sure endured it well.

Even Helga, who was proud to have inherited the rank of Squire Commander from generation to generation, found training with swords and spears difficult.

Young Lord Faust was severely beaten with a wooden sword, and there was even a time when a real sword was actually equipped and real combat practice was given to him.

However, Young Lord Faust continued his training without crying.

—————–End of Flashback—————–

Even now, Helga still could remember Lady Marianne’s anguished look.

And, the fact that Lord Faust, was a child that never cried.

“――apple”

Helga suddenly muttered and returned reality.

Right now, Lord Faust and Ingrid Company were in the middle of a discussion in the guest room.

Helga stood tall in front of the door, making sure no one got close.

While paying attention, thoughts flew back to childhood memories.

Apple.

Yes, it was an apple.

—————–Flashback—————–

During sword and spear training, Young Lord Faust shared the apple that was always served as a dessert at lunch.

Cut one in two with a knife.

――Young Lord Faust must have wanted to eat a whole one, too.

Helgas thought so.

Young Lord Faust had been kind to the people since childhood.

Even though Helga refused, Helga was forced to take it, as Lord Faust said that she must have been hungry too.

To such a kind Lord Faust, she always wanted to ask.

Isn’t this all hard on you, Young Lord Faust?

But, Helga could never say such a thing loudly to the noble Young Lord Faust.

Young Lord Faust‘s hands already touched and held a sword at a young age.

――Time passed and people grow old.

Over time, Helga was transformed from a child into a full-fledged Squire Commander.

And Young Lord Faust also had his appearance changed.

Not that he became ugly.

Not that he became unattractive at all.

His face was in perfect shape.

If Helga might give an opinion as a Squire Commander, Young Lord Faust had become rather noble and beautiful.

However.

Considering the preferred type of man in the Kingdom of Anhalt, he was a little tall, no, he was too tall.

At the age of 15, he reached 180 cm.

And his hands were full of blisters and calluses, and they didn’t look like the hands of a nobleman.

But――

He was still kind to the people. Truly kind.

Unusual for a man of nobility, he was a man who lacked material desires.

Feeling bad, as a token of apology, Lady Marianne bought hair ornaments, rings, etc. during her military service outside her territory.

All of those things――at the time of the wedding ceremony between the citizens of Polydro territory, he gave one by one to them.

Alternatively, he also gave to a nobleman who lived in a neighboring territory all for the sake of the people of Polydro territory.

Those men were happy, but Helga was sad to see Young Lord Faust lose what should be defining him as a man.

So, Helga asked about it once.

“The hair ornaments and rings, don’t you regret it?”

And, Young Lord Faust replied.

“Hair ornaments or such don’t look good on me because I’m tall, and rings, well…”

Saying so, Young Lord Faust showed his rugged fingers with blisters and calluses.

Helga regretted asking that question.

She understood that anything that wasn’t an order made and was bought at the market in town couldn’t fit Young Lord Faust.

And, before Helga knew it, Helga had come to despise the predecessor Lord of Polydro Territory――Lady Marianne from the bottom of her heart.

Why aren’t you pampering your child better?

Is this how you treat your son?

While thinking about such things, day by day passed and suddenly, Lady Marianne fell ill.

In the first place, she was physically weak. So, it was kind of expected to happen.

At that time, fifteen-year-old Young Lord Faust began to serve the military in her place.

Then, during his military service, he asked Helga a strange question.

“Does there exist, a male knight other than me?”

Helga hesitated.

That kind of thing should be common sense.

Young Lord Faust should have known it too.

But still, Helga had to answer.

“Barbarians ―― Excuse me, I’ve heard, there are some in Willendorf, but it doesn’t exist in the Kingdom of Anhalt.”

Even though Helga thought was an insult to Young Lord Faust. He only muttered back to her.

“Is that so? I guess, it is how it is.”

Rather, Young Lord Faust muttered such innocent words.

And his face too, looked innocent.

Helga couldn’t feel his anger towards her words, or towards Lady Marianne, who raised him as a rare male knight.

Then, Young Lord Faust opened his mouth again.

“I want to ask you one more thing. If I play an active role as a knight ―― will my mother be pleased?”

Young Lord Faust asked that question.

Helga couldn’t answer that question.

She couldn’t understand his thoughts.

Are you looking for love from your crazy mother?

Are you asking for common sense from your crazy mother?

It’s almost impossible, you’ll just have a hard time.

――And so another five years passed.

Helga would soon share a husband with her sister, and Young Lord Faust had grown into a fine young man nearly two meters tall.

And then, Lady Marianne finally began to vomit blood on the bed.

The day of parting with Lady Marianne was approaching.

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“S-soon, it’ll be a goodbye to mother huh…”

Young Lord Faust muttered so, as he opened the bedroom door.

His voice trembled slightly.

The bedroom beyond the door was silent.

Inside was, the village chief, Helga’s mother who had now retired from being a Squire Commander, Helga, and Young Lord Faust.

And Lady Marianne, who was about to take her last breath in bed.

“Faust”

Lady Marianne called his name.

By the bedside Young Lord Faust gently stroked the face of Lady Marianne, who had become thin as she started to have a hard time even just drinking soup.

“Faust. Hands.”

Young Lord Faust put out his hand.

Lady Marianne’s trembling hands held the rugged hands.

And then, Lady Marianne quietly ―― really quietly, muttered her last words.

“I’m sorry, Faust.”

At the moment when Lady Marianne, holding his hand, apologized as if to atone for something.

And, a voice ―― leaked.

HIC!!

” ―― “

HIC!!

It was a baby-like voice that could shake the hearts of those around.

It was a voice ―― a sob.

Young Lord Faust was sobbing and crying.

Then, though emotionally disturbed, he opened his mouth while sobbing.

“No. No. Mother, No. You are wrong.”

Young Lord Faust shook his head in the atonement remarks.

While grasping Lady Marianne’s hand, he spun words.

“I’ve never had a hard time. I’ve never hated you in my life. I haven’t been able to do anything yet. I haven’t been able to repay you. I should have talked to you more. I should have done more――”

Young Lord Faust lined up words to deny the reality in front of him while shedding tears.

“I haven’t been able to do any filial yet. It’s, It’s still too early. I finally understand, I properly love you as a mother――”

” Young Lord――”

As Young Lord Faust and Lady Marianne clenched their hands together, suddenly, such mutter was heard.

You, are you trying to separate those hands?

No that’s not the case…

Helga’s mother muttered once again, while fixing those hands, trying not to ever let those hands separate.

” Young Lord. “

Helga’s mother tried to mutter something, but her trembling tongue couldn’t put it into words, so she just called Lord Faust’s name.

Lady Marianne had already passed away.

Unable to tell that fact, Helga’s mother simply called Lord Faust’s name while shedding tears.

Young Lord Faust, who was still holding Lady Marianne’s hand, probably understood it too, without the need of anyone telling him.

However, Young Lord Faust continued to call out to his mother.

“I haven’t yet… No-thing, yet…”

Young Lord Faust continued to cry with his stunned body.

That day, Helga saw Young Lord Faust shed tears for the first time.

And Helga learned that there was love in this world that could only be understood by parents and children themselves, and love that only appeared in the final stages of life.

—————–End of Flashback—————–

――Oh.

Helga could hear Lord Faust’s voice.

“Helga”

The name of the Squire Commander of Polydro, the retainer of Lord Faust was called.

“Yes, Lord Faust.”

“Lady Ingrid is leaving. Please open the door.”

Helga silently opened the door and bowed her head as to see Lady Ingrid off.

After that, another squire would see her off to the carriage.

“Helga, come inside.”

“Yes”

Helga was called by Lord Faust and entered the room.

Lord Faust, who was sitting in a chair, looked like he was worried about something.

“I wonder what Ingrid wanted to say.”

Are you asking me, or are you just talking to yourself?

In an unintelligible tone, Lord Faust muttered to the ceiling.

“Well, I wonder… anyway, Helga, sit there.”

“Yes”

As ordered, Helga sat in the chair in front of Lord Faust.

Lord Faust then muttered after a short silent.

“When, when will I be able to get married?”

“Someone who understands Lord Faust’s charms will surely appear before long.”

Helga said it from the bottom of her heart.

Seriously, no one has good eyes and taste.

The court nobles were making fun of male knights.

The royal family tried to send Lord Faust and us to death.

Using authority and status as an umbrella, Duchess Astarte always tried to stroke Lord Faust’s butt.

All of them are damned.

For me, the only noble person in this world is, Lord Faust.

“Lord Faust, let’s go back to Polydro territory as soon as possible. As for a wife, let’s search for it more attentively. After all, it just couldn’t be helped.”

“……Unlike in the past, you started to speak more huh.”

Even though Helga was scared every time she must say something because the other party was a noble.

But, Lord Faust only laugh.

After being on his side for a long time, she thought it would be better to speak frankly, even if her head must be cut off, so recently, Helga started to speak more.

“What about choosing from the Second Princess’s guards?”

“Well… they’re within reach. All of them are far away from the royal family and court nobles. The Second Princess’s guards, they’re either the second or third daughter who is almost abandoned by the family, and so basically, they’re on the lowest rank, the first-generation knight, right?”

Lord Faust answered so.

Then Helga spoke frankly.

“Do you need it? Connection with the royal family and court nobles.”

“…No, I don’t need it.”

Lord Faust answered with a calm face.

Then, isn’t it okay?

“In that case, for the military service this time――the first campaign of the Second Princess Valliere, perhaps I should seriously start looking for the nice-looking beauty?”

“Please do so”

If possible, a strong woman, who could replace you, Lord Faust, to serve in the military and also could show the world that the name “Polydro” is something to be feared of.

While wishing that, Helga asked Lord Faust for permission to stand up from the chair and leave.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

I, Faust von Polydro, had endless regrets.

I had endless regrets for my late mother.

The mother, who went to military service despite her illness, exhausted herself and came back every year with souvenirs that could be found at the city market.

Mother, endured herself to lie down on the bed and taught me everything about governance and management as a feudal lord. Also, about swordsmanship and spearmanship.

Why was I such a fool, who couldn’t understand the things called “mother’s love”, until the very end of her life?

Is it because I remember my previous life?

Is that matter? No, Damn it

Thinking about how Mother passed away regretting the cruel treatment she gave her son ――I feel like vomiting and want to die too.

But I really can’t die that easily.

It’s a precious body that I got from Mother.

Also, I’ve to protect the people, the land, Polydro’s name, which I inherited from Mother.

And so, for that too, I must…

“…But, choosing from the Second Princess’s guards huh……? Actually, I want to have a relationship with the second daughter of a bureaucratic aristocrat who is also a military officer who understands the frontier.”

But… Helga has a point.

I really don’t want to be involved in court battles anymore.

In the first place, I shouldn’t have become the Second Princess’ Counselor.

“But, the Second Princess’ guards—”

I stammered involuntarily.

Yeah, right.

To be honest, in short, they’re ――

“Queen Rezenlotte’s disposal site of good-for-nothings, prepared for the spare.”

I couldn’t help but said bad about them.

While feeling embarrassed, I also felt disgusted with myself, that I had no choice but to be in the middle of it.

While harboring deep doubts as to whether they would be able to do well as a Feudal Lord, I moved to bed, and decided to take a quiet nap.

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