Chapter 14: The Keys of Moderation

"If there’s anything a person could give their life for it would be that because it's a lifetime experience, Mista Ezra!" A high-pitched feminine voice with the same intensity of a booming trumpet crashed into Ezra's ears. "First time I saw a horse give birth, my heart nearly rolled over and out of my darn chest!" As powerful was her volume, the sound of hooting laughter struck even harder into weary ears.

"Oh, really, Miss Pedigree?" His smile seemed taught and his interest formulated.

When he had asked for tour, he received the least of what he expected---or needed for that matter.

"Bet it on the hotcakes!" She nodded, picking up pace, swinging around a set of master keys hooked in her grasp. "The whole calf just comes out full bodied and all." She stimulated the motions of birth with her hands. “It’s sorta like yer expecting it be like when a pregnant woman pushes out a baby. Normally, you see a bloodied head or a waddling little limb sticking out, but with those horses? My, oh my it’s different. They come looking to be bout 2/3^rd the size of the mother!”

Jingle!

She walked so swiftly and quickly even Ezra's long strides couldn't match the woman's light speed.

"It's quite a rocker seeing it all go down, and---." She paused. "---Oh, what was I talking about before?" She waited for no reply. "Oh, the kitchen!"

Clank!

Click!

With every tap of her quick steps, silver keys clashed and chattered like laughing bells.

"Yew see here? This ere?" she said, words coming out in quick succession. "This the entrance to the kitchen quarters. Always go through the servant’s passageway." She barely stopped for longer than a second before she whisked him out of the room. "Now, come along."

"Sure." He smiled, as stubby hands dragged him onwards, the flash of silver keys swaying in her free hand.

Jingle!

The silver keys were as bright as pure metal mercury. They leaped and spun, doing somersaults in her hand.

"Now, ye come down this hall and yew'll see there'll be a shortcut to pantries." She pointed briefly at a brightly lit hall. "And oh, yew know, there's a joke that runs like water ere. See, the joke is," she said, laughing. "Why is a dog like a tree? It's because they both lose their bark once they're dead!" She broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

"Ah, funny?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Isn't it?" She burst into laughter once more.

Click! Clack!

Blades of glowing white polished silver swayed onwards, dancing with her movements.

His eyes briefly swept along the silver and then to the long hall she was laughing at.

"But how does the joke relate to the hallway?" he asked, slanting his head.

"It doesn't, but twas it not was funny? Now, come along." She snatched him by the arm, hauling him with her.

Jingle!

She methodically fiddled with the numerous rows of keys on the key ring.

"Now, this is the Family quarter." She wagged the silver around and pointed at the entrance. "No one really comes in there except for the Young Miss. She's got good memories with that aunt of hers in there, so careful not to touch or move anything. She's particulate about the structure of this little setting. And y’know, when I think of them two in there smiling daisies, it brings me right down memory road." She touched her cheek. "Like melting butter on a Sunday morning. What a tragic waste."

Cling!

The keys swung in the air as she placed her grasp entangled with keys against her chest.

"Yew know, speaking of butter, there's another joke I know. It goes a little like when yew wanna make buttermilk but the cows have been flipped and the butter is all turned to liquid dip yew—-."

He cut into her words, his eyes flickering around the room. "Can we finish this tour up?"

"Oh, my, pardon me!" She laughed with a light snort. "Yes, of course! Oh, my apologies, I get sideracked sometimes." She pulled one foot away from the door before pausing. "But, speaking of people? Yew should be certain to know everyone in the Sutherton family since yew'll be working ere. I'll speak slowly now so yew can keep up. Yew already met Lord Sutherton and Lady Sutherton. Lady Sutherton has no living relatives, but Lord Sutherton has one brother and one sister. Grand Knight Sebastian is the name of Lord Sutherton's younger brother. Then there's Lady Sabina, our Lord's adopted Sister, and she's married to the Great Prince Kaelixson-Nier and he's oh—!"

She stopped, her mind jumping topics. "Lady Sabina is not correct. See, I've been here so long they've allowed some informality from me. Yew'll need to address her as a Kaelixson Duchess or Princess-Nier Sabina, yea.”

Not even stopping to catch breath, she continued babbling on. "But? Tell no one I told yew, but the Young Miss likes to call her Saby and I think I like Saby instead of Princess Sabina of yada yada. So long of a title to remember, y'know. And, speaking of Sabina, let me just tell ye, she is the most beautiful women for eyes to lay on." She nodded with a smile that sunk into a frown. "Oh, I wish I could see her again, but if only her health hadn't been failing her. Curse the sickness of the mind that takes an unwilling victim, if only---oh!" she interjected.

"That reminds me, through Sir Sebastian—well, aren't they 'kind of' separated?" She paused, searching through her memory. "Oh, blasphemy silly me and tongue, I shouldn't have said that!" She chastised herself, quickly correcting herself. "Yew should know about Sainted Sister Lydia. She visits as often as she can, and one of these days, I know yew'll see her eventually---although lately she’s been quite absent. I do wonder why that is. But, anyo, as for the other relatives?"

He parted his lips, attempting to speak. "W—."

"Oh, trouble is on me." She snorted. "I've just chatted on. Let me continue with the tour. So come down this way." She dragged him towards a large spiraling staircase. "Up there, yew’l find the lady's quarters---which, speaking of that, I should probably tell yew." She looked directly at him, words pouring out as ubiquitous as water. "I've been with the Suthertons for nearly a couple of decades. So I remember the time the Young Miss was but a little darlin' itty bitty!” She pinched her fingers eyes turning soft. “Oh, what days those were. My back then, she was a little different. Lotta different. But, these days, its like I've been saying, the bedlam burden of Sutherton blood is truly----." Before she could finish, he cut her off.

"---Miss Pedigree." He smiled sweetly, glancing at the keys as she swung around carelessly. "I was informed that I would be getting a Master Key for all the rooms—-."

"---A master key? Oh no, no." She shook her head, laughing. "Lord Sutherton says that to all the butlers, but it rarely gets done. For as long as this place has been standing, it's really been only people like Langston and I, who've been here for a while, that have the keys, cause Mista Sutherton is well...?" She lowered her booming voice. "Well, he's a little strict about certain rooms in the house."

"Is that so?" His smile remained.

"Yes, and oh! I should mention that yew should know the senior staff consist of me," she said, pointing gleefully to herself. "As well as Miria who's been goin on 5 years, and of course Langston, our coach driver—he's been ere for nearly forever. And, don't tell I said, but he's been thinking about throwing the old rag in and just retiring. He's such an old geezer that it is about that time. So, there is a little jib jatter for his replacement but, ye didn't hear it from me, yea?" She swatted his shoulder playfully, another onslaught of laughing boiling in his ears.

Before he could even force a smile, her tongue was bouncing again.

“And I almost forget, y’know we used to have a lovely young man who was here with us for a little while. He was such a sweet boy, but oh humbug my memory!” She threw her hands. “What was his name? Castiallo, wasn’t it? No, no, no, Ceaser? Caro? Cameroon? No, it was Calvin. Hmm, but that don’t be sounding right…Carter or Charles? Wait. Maybe Christian.” Pondering, she pressed her upper lip to her nose. “No. Not quite that either…perhaps it was---.”

“---Castian.”

She stopped; eyes wide. “Castian,” she repeated, bobbing the thought around her head. “Yeah…yeah, yes!” A slow smile of realization came upon her. “Yes, that was it! Why, Mista Ezra how did yew know?”

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“Oh, that’s because I play a mean game of Guess a Fellow’s Fair.”

“Guess a Fellow’s Fair?” Her ears perked up, her tongue slowing down. Miss Pedigree considered herself the type of woman to know when the mice were squeaking and when the walls were talking. There were few things, the chatty woman did not know and could not telltale about. “This is a game?”

“Yes, and fun one at that.” He smiled. “Have you not played?”

“I’ve not.”

“Oh, we ought to play once this tour is over,” he sweetly said.

"Yes, that could be an idea! Why don’t yew come on this way!" She beamed, dragging him along a little faster. "Now, what was I talking about before that? But before that, where are yew from again, Mista Ezra?" Her full-bodied voice rang through his ears.

"Me? Oh, I matter least. I'm more curious to know where are you from, Miss Pedigree?"

"I'm from Kaelix-Belmont." She was quick to reply. "Ye probably passed it on yew way, travelling to the manor. It's a nice place not too far, and did yew know I have a niece who looks just about yer age? She works here as well." She heartily patted his shoulder again, briefly gripping his arm's bicep in the process. "My niece's name is---oh, let me show yew this. Ye see that attic door over there?" She pointed towards a small square in the ceiling where a single string hung. "My sister has been having problems with her attic. Something about the rodents, y'know?"

"Rodents?" He couldn't utter another word before her tongue struck with lightning speed.

"Yea, the attic. Ah, but before that." She bounced between topics. "Can yew tell me Mista Ezra? Are all these crazy things about yew true? Like about all yer prowess."

"Prowess in what?"

"Yer prowess in---Miria!" She looked behind him where a maid sped forwards in their direction. "Miria!" Miss Pedigree waved her over.

The girl slowed down her speed, folded her hands, and gave a light bow to them both.

"Mista Ezra, this ere is Miria, the Young Missus handmaid."

"Lovely to meet you, Miria." He smiled, offering his hand.

She took his hand without eye contact, and shook it weakly.

"Miria does not speak, Mista Ezra," Miss Pedigree said to him, as if the girl weren’t standing there. "Most of time she’ll communicate through pen and gestures."

"Really?" He took a gander of her.

She stood a stiffly, and even though she was tall, she hunched and shriveled small.

“Yes, I know yew must be thinking it would crazy for a woman to be without speech, but the awful is proof before us. She does not speak,” Miss Pedigree said frowning. “Yew could even try startling her, but she won’t let any words won’t come out, right Miria?”

Miria could only nod slowly.

“See? Crazy, isn’t it Mista Ezra?”

He glanced at Miss Pedigree and back to the voiceless young woman. “Crazy? No.” He shook his head. “What might be crazy is to suggest that even without roaring, a lion would not be a lion.”

“A lion without a roar? Huh?” Miss Pedigree found herself stumped over the words and not the implications.

In Miss Pedigree’s confusion, Miria pulled her eyes from the ground. For a brief moment, she shared eye contact with Ezra. But when he smiled, she looked away and made hurried movements to leave. She grabbed two fistfuls of her uniform dress, and pulled it up slightly for mobility.

"Oh, she’s leaving us already, then see yew around, Miria!" Miss Pedigree waved her goodbye before turning her attention back to Ezra. "Miria's very responsible. Anything ya need help with, she won't ever fail yew. Y'know, she's about our Young Missus age. But life's been a bit rough on her." She stared down the empty halls. “Hm. Now, she did seem quite in a hurry. Could it have to do with Lily?”

“Y’know Lily is Miria's closet friend,” she started, although he didn’t ask. “Our sweet little doll Lilly, got fired a little while earlier. Something about the Young Miss breaking some glass and Lily happened to be involved now she's fired.” She sighed. "Poor Lily needed this job, and this is probably gonna hit her hard. Man, they were two little peas in a pod. I remember when they both came here. Both of them worked so tirelessly and hard. It's a shame the Young Miss fired her. Expected. But still a shame. I thought Lily had great potential for another year."

She sighed again. "Now, yew didn’t hear this from me, but…? The Young Miss is truly no proper young lady like she used to be." She scoldingly wagged her finger. "If my niece ever begins to show slight similarity to any of her behavior, I'd find my grave early!"

As if she were rattled by the thought, she shook her head. "Which that reminds me, I was gonna tell yew about my niece! Yew may have already seen her because she's a hard sight to miss! She's a pearl with a little twinkle in her eye like me, yea." She abashedly patted her chest. "And let me tell y---."

"---Miss Pedigree," he said, quickly butting in. "Pardon my manners, but I really don't wish to hear about any of this. Especially not about your niece."

"Excuse me?" She blinked a few times, stunned by the boldness.

"Yes,” he said, in a matter of factly tone. “You may find this strange of me to say, but I don't think it's proper to speak of other women other than the one in front of me."

She was stunned again. So stunned the master key ring in her hand fell to the floor with a thud. "O-oh." She tried to find words.

He bent down and picked up the keys. "Your niece sounds like a wonderful young lady, but I'd rather hear about you, Wynona."

"Wynona?" She questioned.

"Ah, my apologies." He viewed her surprised reaction. "I don't wish to overstep my boundaries; do you mind if I call you by your first name?"

She flushed. "Mista Ezra," she said with a giggle. "No one has called me Wynona since I was a young bird." She smiled widely, placing a hand sheepishly on her cheek.

"What?” He offered the keys back to her. “That's a terrible thing when you have such a lovely name, Wynona."

"You really think so?" The smile overcame her face as she dazedly took the key ring.

"Of course, I do." He flashed her an even sweeter grin.

At the sight of his smile, she picked up pace, motioning him along with a grin. "W-well, please do follow me!"

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