Chapter 22 – What Changes and What Doesn’t Change (5)
It had been over a week since Distria came to the room. It was as usual except that Distria had visited. Nonetheless, a closer look revealed some differences.
First of all, Acacia looked at me with eyes of regret.
It was natural, considering he was honest and could not tolerate injustice regardless of his position, and his upright disposition. Acacia knew that night, and pretended not to notice the unreasonable night because Arne wouldn’t have been in this position if her words hadn’t offended Distria.
He was well aware of that fact. Still, he was instrumental in making that night.
Acacia heard Distria’s order to bring him the collar, and he did not look back even at the sound of the collar being fitted.
He just shut the door and disappeared as if nothing had happened. Still, he was apologizing to me for his own actions afterwards when he was the one who didn’t make eye contact with me for the past week or so.
It would have been strange if I didn’t know.
He was a pretty honest guy. Knowing his uprightness and Arne’s unreasonable circumstances, he worried about her and sympathized with her.
Contrary to his heart, I had fun.
Raphael, who had visited every day until the door was worn out, seemed to be busy these days. He came and held me once every three or four days. In fact, s*x with him was boring. As if he had forgotten the promise he made at that time when he forcibly made me abstain.
Because of that, I quickly felt that my relationship with him was boring.
In addition, I didn’t have a long-term s*x partner with one person originally since I had several s*x partners, not just one. Consequently, it was natural for me to get tired of my relationship with Raphael.
When I gazed at Acacia standing in front of the door, he quickly noticed my gaze and glanced at me. Our eyes met, and his eyes fluttered uncontrollably.
“Didn’t you promise me that you would let me meet Rewan?”
He looked at me with trembling eyes before turning his head as though he was trying to ignore me and sighed. The next moment, as if resigning again, he slowly turned his head to look at me with eyes full of concern.
“This time…”
He paused for a moment and gazed at me. His eyes, hinting at my death, fluttered relentlessly again.
“You may die.”
“…I don’t care.”
Acacia’s eyes sank again.
He struggled for a moment as if even his breathing was difficult. He glanced up at me as if he didn’t understand what I was saying, seemingly overturning my words that death doesn’t matter.
I didn’t know why he cared about my death. Also, I couldn’t understand why he wanted to hold on to my life.
“I told you before.”
He was treating me with the courtesy that I don’t need, and was stopping me from approaching death. Why was he looking at me with sad eyes…? He didn’t have to do that at all.
When I received Acacia’s gaze, I thought of Rewan.
He resembled him.
…Why now? Why all of a sudden?
Before the original story, I was with Rewan for ten months. I often dined with him, quarreled, and occasionally inspected distant estates together. Sometimes, when a smile appeared on Rewan’s indifferent face, I felt a sense of pride for an unknown reason.
Though that was all.
It wasn’t that the time I spent with him wasn’t happy. However, it was far from the happiness I wanted.
From the day Acacia apologized, I could actually see Rewan in him. I just didn’t admit it. Now, it had come to the point where I thought I was crazy. I couldn’t understand my feelings at all. No, I didn’t understand it at all…
Ignoring the strange feeling. I barely hid my expression. I vomited out one word at a time as though swallowing up my anger. I had to go ahead with the original story and finish this story.
Anyway, Rewan was the one to die.
“Do you think this is living?”
Saying so, I closed my eyes and opened them.
He was silent for a moment. It was the same as back then. The friendly Acacia was worried about me. I would use his worries without much thought. Well, there was the guilt that came from taking advantage of other people’s minds.
I got up from my seat and went to the place where Acacia was before taking his hand and pulling it towards me. As he was gently dragged into the room, his body stiffened. I shut the door without a word and locked the door.
Subsequently, I took off his clothes slowly.
I didn’t think much of it.
“Is the hardness the same as them? Should I do it once?”
Rather, the expression of great embarrassment on his indifferent face was quite pleasing to look at.
Acacia took off his cloak and wrapped it around me. He had a look of disappointment. Confusion crept into his dark eyes. Seeing Arne’s white naked body, which he had already seen many times, his face turned red.
He lowered his eyes and lowered his head.
“No. Cherish your body.”
Acacia’s hand trembled as he opened the cloak that was wrapped around him.
“A body that is already tattered?”
It was humorous that he didn’t know my thoughts, yet he was worried about me. His worries were not very pleasant. I didn’t care whether he was beaten or cursed by an angry Distria for speaking my words. Why was he so worried about me…?
Suddenly, I remembered someone who always had worried about me.
I closed my eyes. It was a feeling that had nothing to do with me.
“…I will make another request.”
Acacia shook his head and left the room.
Every time I looked at him, I thought of the pure Rewan, and it was painful. I try to forget him, who bothers me, though Acacia kept reminding me of him. The kind eyes that resembled him were upright and straight like him…
Rewan came to mind.
* * *
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As I made my way to his office, sinister glances swept my body. But, since Acacia was next to me, they didn’t seem to dare to think about what they were going to do with me.
It was fine if they forced me to do it. Could I secretly take a walk in the garden at night…?
With regret, I wet my lips with my tongue. Acacia knew that I was nervous and glanced at me with concern.
…No, it was not like that.
[ A sullen gaze followed Arne wherever she went because of the stigma on her thigh.
…Now that she knew what the stigma meant, she tried to hide it as much as possible.
Despite Arne’s efforts, at least among the people in the Imperial Palace, there was no one who was unaware of Arne’s plight.
They mocked her without any protection. Pretending not to know, they touched her chest and groped her ass. Sometimes, they would even drag her openly into an unattended room and forced her into a rebellious act with her.
“The Carwen Empire does not have slaves.”
The man who put his thing inside Arne laughed mischievously.
As if he liked the stiff inside, he stretched his waist and pushed Arne. He covered her mouth with his own clothes so that she couldn’t even scream.
It wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t look good.
“You set the example badly.”
The man smiled widely and licked her ear.
Arne closed her eyes and then opened her eyes to stare at the man with a grim expression. She thought it was a dream. Reality had never been so cruel… No one helped her while she was being dragged away by the man.
There was something crazy about this empire, and it seemed like she was going crazy being here. She then took hold of her dizzying spirit.
Once she lives… She had to live…
Arne caught the darkening mind and let it go.
To live like this…
A small ripple spread inside Arne. ]
He led me safely to Distria’s office and closed the door slowly, unable to hide his worried gaze until the end. Then, Distria raised his head to confirm that I had come before glancing back at the paperwork.
On his desk was a pile of thick papers.
Gradually my legs were numb. I think a lot of time has passed. The documents he was looking at also gradually decreased in size and showed the bottom. Seeing him lifting the last paper, I thought that I could talk to him soon and sat down on the floor.
And, finally, the moment Distria got up from his seat, I screamed in joy. However, he moved to the bookshelf, not me, and took out a bunch of papers again.
Ugh…! I let out a silent scream and sighed inside.
‘No, call me when you’ve done all your work.’
…Ah! Was this to make Arne feel humiliated?
Ah. This… Damn it.
Little by little I slowly lowered my head and shivered. He was very hard to please.
After that, I stood still for a while. Gradually my legs were numb. I mourned myself for the pain I had inflicted on my own. Why did I…? I should just be content with messing around with Raphael. Even though I regretted it, I comforted myself by saying that there were many more men.
Starting with it, I had numerous thoughts.
Half of my thoughts were s*x.
If I did it with him in the office, would the desk collapse? He had good strength. Then, would he also panic… Or, would he just pass it gently…?
Well, Distria’s was thick and long, though was it because he is the strongest boss? The shape was nice, too. I want to suck it once… No, I’ve sucked it once. Such a bummer… I feel sorry now. I should have sucked it properly.
Oh, I really want to have s*x.
“Do you really not want to live?”
“No. I want to live to have s—”
Unconsciously, I almost gave a strange answer to his question. A beating heartbeat pounded in my ears as I got flustered. I was thinking about s*x, so I almost spit on the answer that was nonsensical to Arne, “I have to live to have s*x.”
As I spoke, he stared at me. No, you still have a lot of documents left, so why are you asking me all of a sudden? You scared me. I managed to calm my pounding heart again and spoke.
“…A humanely life.”
“You want to live humanely life.”
Distria muttered a sneer as if he had anticipated the words I hadn’t even finished. Why did he keep asking me if he wouldn’t listen to the end…?
The next moment, he got up from his seat and strode towards me.
He grabbed my chin with a strong force.
My legs, weakened by standing for a long time, seemed to have lost their strength from the strong impact, and were bent without needing to use his hands. Distria let go of his hand on my chin and with the other, supported my collapsing waist.
“Is meeting Rewan an act of living like a humanely life?”
As I stood with my balance, the arm that had firmly supported me left, and the overworked leg complained of pain. Distria stood in front of the bookshelf again and held out a sheet of paper that had been set aside.
I walked over to him, barely pulling my shaky legs.
As soon as I stood in front of him, he spread out the fingers holding the papers. Papers fluttered and fell to the floor.
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Hey, he is being really annoying…
“If there is something to give, there must be something to receive.”
I bent over and barely picked up the paper.
My legs were trembling. Still, I couldn’t help cheering the moment I read the words on the paper.