Chapter 1: Chapter 78 – Thank You For Being by My Side

 

POV: Daniel

This should be my chapter, the part that tells my story. I have two theories on how this happens, either the chapter doesn't change and it still pretends that the story isn't affected by my thoughts, or the chapter does change, it shows my actual thoughts and how I live and maybe I can actually leave a mark of my existence. Hopefully, it’s the latter and people can finally understand how I feel. I gained consciousness around 3 months ago. I now know that I am not a human being but a character in a novel. Everyone around me, my friends, my family, and myself was created and is controlled by someone. Although I have gained consciousness, I have not gained free will. If I try, I can move my eyebrows and mouth somewhat. Where I go, what I do, and even what I say are controlled by someone else. The only time I can move is when chapters don't include me, that is when I am alive, when I can move. That's when I met her.

My surroundings change into a school hallway almost as if I teleported. I’ve gotten used to this, it happens when the scene changes, like skipping my daily routine. I haven't gone to sleep since I became self-aware. My body doesn't listen to my will and moves toward the classroom. I've gotten used to it but I still hate the fact that I am trapped in a body that prioritizes the plot over my will. It's suffocating. My hand opens the door, and right in front of me is Rebecca, the main character of this world. She is the one I will have a happily ever after with.

“Becca!” my mouth says affectionately, betraying my thoughts. But my eyes are fixated on another, the only other person in this world. She doesn't have a name, she is just a background character but she is also the one I love. She is someone who is not under the control of the plot and can move where she wants. She is also the one who woke me up from this prison and the only person whose love was not implanted into me. The words keep flowing out of my mouth but I do not know what I am saying and what Rebecca is saying to me but I don't care. This world is fake and I don't want her love. I want to be by her side, I want to hold her hand, to hug her, to be with her. But I am not free. My head begins moving and my lips touch Rebecca’s. 

“I want to show you how much I love you” my mouth spits out. Rebecca blushes furiously when my hand pushes her hair behind her ear. “Let's go out tomorrow.”  She is watching, smiling bitterly. I almost throw up, my heart is breaking and I am again reminded how powerless I am. 

The scene changed again, I am now in my room in front of my computer. My body is trying to make a reservation for my date tomorrow. 

“Aaah, I can't wait” my voice sneaks out and my hands cover my face, “Life is truly a gift”

I almost cry but the story will not allow it. I began this chapter with hope, hoping that I could share my story and maybe, this story could end. But now that I think about it, what would change? Would the story end? If it does then I would die and so would she. This world is only a book, the scene changes and lack of free will shows that. I don't want her to die. I don't know what I was thinking.

 

The scene change disrupts my thoughts, I'm standing somewhere. I don't know where I am because I never leave my house. I’m wearing clothes I’ve never seen before and waiting for a person I don't love. I wait a few seconds more and there she is. My legs run up to her,

“Wow, you’re gorgeous,” I say. This is true, she really is beautiful, but she can't hold a candle to her. I want this chapter to end. I want to go home, go to sleep and never wake up. 

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The scene changes again and we’re in the movies, the scene changes again and we’re in a cafe. All these scene changes are making me nauseous. The scene changes once more and we’re in the restaurant. 

“This day was so fun! Thank you for doing this with me” Rebecca says

“I'm glad you liked it, I was planning for this all night” I clock out, deciding to think about other things so things don't get worse. I think about her. I want to go on a date with her, watch a movie together, go to a cafe together, study together, work together, live together, and be together. But I will never be with her, and that is my destiny.

The scene changes again and we’re standing outside of the restaurant. We kiss again and then we part. The scene changes once more and I’m laying on my bed, with my hand holding my face. Then suddenly I begin kicking my feet. I hate this, I hate this a lot. My body is not mine. I don't feel this way so why am I forced to do this, I hate Rebecca, I hate my life and I hate the Author. Why was I given sentience, given life? So I could deal with the pain of being unable to do anything, say anything that I want to say? There is no god, just a puppeteer, not wanting to create a world but a story, and our lives depend only on what they feel like they want to write that day. I sit in silence, and I now know what I want to do. 

The scene hasn't changed yet, I'm still on my bed, my hands resting over my eyes. I try to move, I’ve never tried this hard since the first day. My jaw opens and falls shut, It’s like forcibly pulling a giant boulder up and once you let go it falls to the ground. I push my tongue over my teeth and let my teeth bite down. The blood slowly filled my mouth, trickling down my throat, the burning liquid slowly drowning me. I begin breathing in the blood, the pain making me black out. I think it’s happening, My mind tries to flash to my memories, and I realize all my memories before I woke up were just a fake history of things I’ve never actually done and have never experienced. The only person I think of is her, the one person who was real. I hope she finds peace. I can finally rest. I’m finally gonna get what I want. But what I want is never what I get.

 

The scene changes once more, I’m in front of my house. I spot someone in the distance waving to me, it’s Rebecca. My body takes a deep breath.

“I’m truly blessed,” my mouth says.

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