Chapter 15: That Time I Accidentally Became A Demon (Chapter 15) (I’m not dead?)

You know, I hadn’t actually been thinking when I decided that I should be destroyed in a fire. No wait, that hadn’t been my intention at all! Selve had been in trouble and I just, moved. I was slightly regretting that. There had to be a third option between “lefting Selve die” and “dying”. Probably some fancy fast maneuver I couldn’t actually do with my tail. Maybe I could eat fire or something. 

 

Either way, I had died. Which wasn’t too surprising. I was pretty sure even a small amount of that flame had been literally melting my nose off. 

 

Death was… boring? Thank god. My options for death seemed horrifying, since hell existed and I happened to be a demon. Can demons go to heaven? I really should have thought some more on the afterlife. Now I was stuck in a black void. 

 

I couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t see anything, couldn’t really move. Breathing felt pretty difficult for some reason. Should I even need to breath? Do ghosts breath? Was I a ghost or just a soul? I had nothing but questions and a healthy amount of fear. I was dead. What comes after death? Is it different for everyone? Is it the hell I saw? Are there multiple afterlives? Do I get to choose? 

 

But that fear was relatively minor when I remembered that the Fire Mage might have a second go at Selve. That fucking idiot. They were going to kill me anyway. Why did he have to get involved? I, metaphorically, shook my head. I respected Selve and he was basically my rock in a universe I didn’t understand. Celena was great too, but Selve was my buddy, my pal, the type of guy I could go to drinks with and just relax with. We didn’t really talk much, but well, sometimes that’s not necessary. Friends are friends, regardless of time spent together or conversations had. Could talk to a man for a decade and be closer to someone else within a day of meeting them. 

 

I sighed, a little. Well, in my mind I did. My plan had basically gone as poorly as humanly possible. I had died, Selve was probably going to die, hell, Celena might somehow end up on the chopping block too. She was right there after all. In the absolute worst case scenario, The Heroes were true bastards and would somehow damn the entire village. 

 

What a shitty way to go. At least I hadn’t felt any pain. It must have been over too fast or something. One second, life, the next, a raging blue inferno. Then, darkness. Small mercies. 

 

Just when I was starting to get a little bored with the whole endless darkness thing, I heard a sound behind me. I realized it was Selve and groaned inwardly. So he had died too. I tried to speak and utterly failed. I listened to Selve and my heart grew. I knew you were a real one Selve. His voice was choked up, but I get it buddy. We died, we lost, the game is over. I was lost in his words, until he said something that made me blink, metaphorically, in surprise. 

 

“Please Derek. Please. You, you can’t die.” 

 

What? Excuse me? But I’m already dead. We both are Selve! …aren’t we? 

 

I tried to move, or float around, or to feel anything. And a dawning horror unleashed itself down upon me. 

 

I couldn’t see, I couldn’t feel my own body, but I could still feel my power gauge. In more detail than ever. Selve, was behind me. The Fire Mage was still in front of me. The other heroes and Celena were somewhere nearby. 

 

I wasn’t dead. I was blind and numb. 

 

I gulped, but I didn’t. How? How was I alive? No, forget that, what do I do? Being trapped and stuck in your own body sounded horrifying and had just become my new number one phobia after needles. Shudder. 

 

I had to move. Move damn you, Move! 

 

I finally focused enough to feel my own lungs and the air going into them. Pretty sure they were charcoal now but that didn’t matter. Using all of my focus, unable to feel a damn thing, I was pretty sure I turned. Or at least started to. Selve had to get the fuck away, the damn idiot. Save your bloody heart to heart, you have to live! 

 

“Run.” 

 

“Run.” 

 

“Run.” 

 

“Run.” 

 

I kept trying to say the word, but it wasn’t coming out right. I could, barely, still hear. Finally, the word escaped my non-existent lips the right way. There, I’ve done all I can. I’m sorry Selve, this is the best I can do. You were a total bro, and I forgive you for sending me to hell on accident. Please run away and fuck Celena for me. She’s a god damn animal but I promise you, it’s worth it. 

 

“Derek?! You’re alive?!” 

 

Bro. Dude. My friend. What part of “run” do you not get? Do you think I’m saying it is a joke? With my dying breath? I mean, I get that you probably won’t get pretty far, but come on… they might let you go. There’s no reason to give up your mortal coil just yet. We all have to die someday, no reason to let it be today. So, 

 

“Run.” 

 

I didn’t hear Selve’s voice anymore, so I assumed he had fled. I knew I was probably wrong, Selve was too, well, blockheaded for that. That man was stubborn as a mule, that was for sure. He was probably attacking The Heroes right now. I prayed he had taken my advice and just ran away. 

 

“Why demon?” Said a new voice. Well, not new new. I had heard it before. It still carried that same utter hatred in it. It was that damn Fire Mage who practically melted me into bones and burnt flesh. Do you have any idea how hard it is to speak right now? I don’t think half of what I use for speaking is even still functional! Everyone is just lucky I’m not mumbling out nonsense. Wait, am I mumbling out nonsense? No no, I still have half melted ears, I can still hear. I definitely said run. 

 

Something I continued to say. No offense lady, but fuck your question. I’m not confident I can answer it. As in, I literally don’t think I can form the words without lips. God, being a burnt rice crispy is really scary. Is this what being a skeleton would feel like? Absolutely not. It’s a good thing my organs will probably shut down soon. It’s a god damn miracle my heart is still beating and my brain survived. I must be resilient as hell. 

 

“Damn you demon! TELL ME WHY!” 

 

Alright, sheesh, fine, I’ll try. You don’t deserve it, my murderer, but if it’ll get you to relax enough to maybe not start a massacre of other innocent people, fine. 

 

“Mmb” 

 

Welp, I failed. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Mmmb” 

 

I knew it was impossible. Sorry, my asshole murderer. You get to live with a mystery. That’s what you get for blasting first and not asking questions. 

 

You know, there’s definitely something wrong with me here. Then again, I thought I was dead, and then I found out I wasn’t. Overall, I’m overjoyed. I mean hell, it might only last for five more seconds, but that’s five more seconds I didn’t think I had! So this is what a cancer patient being told they have another month to live feels like. Honestly, it’s fucking amazing. Especially since it gives me a little more time to not go to whatever the afterlife is. You know, honestly, maybe oblivion is a good option. Way, way better than hell at least. God, I can only hope I get to choose or something. God, please don’t take me back to hell. That place is terrible. 

 

“DAMN IT!” Ah right, the Fire Mage. Sheesh, she really needs some anger management classes. “KONAHORA! GET OVER HERE!” 

 

Wait…. The healer? 

 

If I could drop my jaw, it would be on the ground. Hell, for all I know, it already is. That fire was pretty intense. Are they really going to fucking heal me?! 

 

I heard footsteps and then an amusing conversation. 

 

“Heal the fucking thing’s mouth.” 

 

“Riary…” and oh god, was that a lot of emotion packed into a single word. That was definitely the sound I’d put next to ‘complicated emotions’ in the dictionary. I genuinely couldn’t make out anything specific from that god damn chaos of a voice. Maybe guilt? Possibly hesitance? No fucking clue. 

 

“DO IT!” 

 

“Riary, we’re lucky he-” There was a noticeable angry hiss coming from someone when she said the word ‘he’ “-isn’t screaming in terrible pain right now. Even if I fix his vocal cords, lips, and tongue… he might still die at any moment.” 

 

Wow. I could literally feel the heat from here. Crazy, because I was 99% sure I couldn’t feel anything. I can’t even tell which part of me is feeling it, but the mage must have lit herself on fire again. Speaking of, her robes must be crazy. Not even a burn on them. 

 

The next words were spoken with teeth clenched so hard, I was expecting them to break and shatter. “Heal. Him.” 

 

Suddenly, the best sensation on the planet consumed me. It felt like the gentle kiss of the sun, the massage of an angel, the hug of a loved one, and a healthy light breakfast. I felt like I was getting better in every way. Not even physically, but like, I had just woken up on the right side of the bed and was at my absolute peak. And that was before my skin started to regrow, my ears became unmelted slabs, my poor cock and balls regained their former glory, and feeling came back to me. 

 

It was not a short process, at all, but it was miraculous all the same. I had expected to die. Multiple times in the few scant, what, five, ten minutes(?) I had met The Heroes. Even now, that fear wasn’t gone per se, but, I thought they’d heal me a little, get an answer, then put me down. They could still do that, but as I felt my fucking eyes regrow in my head and vision return to them, I realized I was being given a second shot at negotiation. 

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I would take this lesson to heart. 

 

If negotiations failed, and someone tried to kill you, simply don’t die and try again. I wonder if that would have saved the Baron…. Hmmm… maybe. If he could’ve convinced Selve, I’d be a little more hesitant to conduct a slaughter. I could already see an alternate future where the roles were reversed and the men became the slaves and definitely not sex ones. 

 

Was I positive my brain survived the fire unharmed? I’m not. My thoughts are becoming stupid. Get your head in the game man! 

 

The second I felt fully healed, I skipped the breath of not-charred-me I wanted to take and said, 

 

“Thank you.” To the healer. 

 

Always thank your healers! 

 

She simply nodded at me. Konahora was her name, I remembered. At some point, hell, could have been any point I was blind, Tyler had appeared right next to her. A good man. Well, a good teammate maybe. 

 

“Why.” It was a demand this time, coming from… Riary. Right, that was her name. Her anger was more controlled. Oh, she still looked like she wanted to kill me, and fire was sparking around her like crazy, but it was really hard for her to look anything but less angry after the last time I had seen her. I expected this may actually be the absolute minimum level of rage for her whenever around me. 

 

Well, I risked a single final breath of air, possibly my last, before answering her. 

 

“He’s my friend.” 

 

That was the word I had been trying to say. “Friend.” That was it, that was all there was to it. Who would let their friends just fucking die? A monster or someone who really doesn’t care about anyone. 

 

Riary looked at me in anger, which was a default, but also doubt. 

 

“That’s it?” 

 

“Yes. and,” Well, this was a golden time to try my hand at negotiation again. “He didn’t summon me. He just said that because he was worried about me. I just accidentally wandered here.” 

 

Konahora frowned at me. Riary gave me an absolutely amazing glare, the best I’d ever seen. 

 

“Liar.” 

 

“It’s truth.” 

 

Fire sparked around us. Alright, quick, time to beg for my life. 

 

“I would like to leave the human kingdom, never to return. I would like to go to the elven territory, where demons are not killed on sight. I promise to not harm anyone during my journey, and to head immediately there this very moment. Please let me live.” And then I bowed 90 degrees. 

 

Cowardly people live, and fools die. Sadly I seemed to be both but oh well, it was time for some good ole fashioned cowardice! 

 

I waited. No one spoke. Well, that was kind of worrying. Finally, Tyler spoke up. And the interrogation began. 

 

“Did you really save this village?” 

 

“I killed the baron and his fourteen men, all of whom I was told, and saw evidence of, being absolute bastards that enslaved and raped the women here, murdering many villagers.” 

 

“What did you see and who told you…” 

 

The hours passed and I was more than happy to answer any and all questions. Every question meant another moment I wasn’t dead and another chance I was going to live. They asked me about my actions, my home, how I got here, my summoning, etc etc. I overly told the truth in full detail on some things and blatantly lied on some things. Mostly summoning. Damn you Selve, I was going to save your life it was the last thing I did tonight you idiot. 

 

They asked me things in different ways, repeated questions to try and trip me up, insinuated certain things such as ‘so when you killed the innocent men under the baron’ and ‘so you’re saying you never performed any forced acts on the villagers’, tried to get me to change my answers, acted as if I was lying and they just wanted the actual full truth in order to help me, and insulted me both vaguely and overtly. Basically, it was like any other police interrogation. 

 

Selve and Celena were spitting mad during it. Good people but this was just how interrogations worked. I was just somewhat lucky it wasn’t the actual police, or I’d have to deal with four or five interrogations in a 24 hour period, each time trying to screw me over. 

 

Remember, never ever talk to the police. Ask for a lawyer and then say not a literally single other word. Close your eyes and pretend they aren’t there, never sign anything, and be otherwise obedient. Don’t even give them your name or confirm your name! Police are not your friends, nor you’re enemy, but a robot you can break. 

 

I shook off my stupid, if accurate, thoughts. Wow, being burned alive does not do a head any good. 

 

Eventually, it finally ended, and my sentence was finally given. Well, kinda. Tyler looked at each of his teammates and then said, 

 

“We need to talk.” 

 

And then walked away. 

 

I waited a good solid three seconds, and then nearly collapsed my ass onto the ground. Celena and Selve were already there. They were clearly still furious. 

 

“How dare they-” 

 

“It’s fine.” 

 

“No.” Celena said. “It is not fine. They nearly killed you.” 

 

“And if I get upset and become an ‘angry demon’ they will kill me. I’m a minority now, kinda. I have to act like one. Which means keeping my head down and not acting out. My life depends on my behavior. So, it’s fine. I’m honestly not even that angry. Hell, I know I should be but, well, this doesn’t feel like pure malice. More so like bad luck. Oh the Fire Mage still wants to kill me, out of extreme malice, but I’m basically public enemy number one. The most wanted. I wouldn’t be surprised if there's bounties for demons found in the human kingdom. I already kinda knew this and didn’t run to the elven kingdom the second I could. So, it’s my own bad luck and my own stupid decisions.” 

 

Selve immediately shook his head. “No Derek. You, you were dead. We all thought you were dead. They nearly killed you. You can’t just, just expect us to ignore that. You expect us to let it go because it was ‘bad luck’? Our village was nearly enslaved and destroyed because of that kind of ‘bad luck’.” 

 

“Selve’s right.” Celena said. “You can’t treat your life with so little importance. It’s not fair to the rest of us who care.” 

 

God damn it you guys, my newly formed eyes were going to spring a leak at this rate. You stupid idiots. 

 

It didn’t take long, and the Fire Mage seemed absolutely furious, so it seemed like a pretty good sign I wasn’t going to die. 

 

But damn, they caught me off guard. 

 

“We’ve got one more question.” Konahora asked this time, looking directly at me. She then unrolled a piece of parchment with a familiar item on it… 

 

“Have you seen this Gem?” 

 

My heart shuddered and the stakes had just been raised. 

 

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