Chapter 42: That Time I Accidentally Became A Demon (Chapter 42) (One day, I’ll wake up and stop being surprised that I’m alive)

I woke up. Strange. Then doubly strange because I found that strange. I stared up at a very unfamiliar wooden ceiling. My heart hurt a little as- 

Vampire, death, fire, so much fire. My heart, my heart. My neck. 

I rose in a flash and brought one hand to my heart trying to beat out of my chest, and the other to the back of my neck. 

“You’re fine.” 

I looked to my right and was horrified for a moment. Then I realized it was just Riary. She looked absolutely exhausted. Seeing her, something clicked into my brain. 

“We won…” I said in awe. 

For the first time, I saw a genuine smile on Riary’s face. It was, peaceful, happy even. Truly, utterly, happy. 

“We did.” Her joy coated the words. 

I laid back down onto the bed, my whole body feeling sore for some reason. Wasn’t that caused by pain? Why on earth could I still itch and feel sore? Stupid annoying selective pain immunity. A great sigh of relief still left me, as I now just lay there, basking in the joy of still being alive despite all the odds stacked against you. 

For a time, Riary and I just sat there, relaxing in victory. But all good things must eventually come to an end. 

“Tyler and Konohara are fine. The villagers were freed and lived. The mansion was burnt to the ground, but plenty survived the flames. Most of it is going to the village, but we’re now significantly richer and better equipped. That vampire… they seemed to have collected weapons and specifically weapons.” 

Well that stung my pride, considering she had never fucking used one. Whatever. She was dead, we were alive. Fuming slightly, because seriously, fuck her, I turned to the side, listening to the rest of Riary’s explanation. 

“Konohara woke up first but she couldn’t heal herself, let alone anyone else. She called upon her Goddess too strongly. It saved your life but it’ll take a while before her ‘Penance’ is paid.” 

I looked at her in confusion. She smiled bitterly. 

“So this is how she feels. Some priests can overextend their power, cause a Miracle. It’s rare and besides always being in desperate life or death situations, it almost never happens. Even in war, especially in war, I’ve only heard of it happening four times. Her ‘Penance’ is apparently telling the whole truth of something. She’s still answering “How are you?” from yesterday…” 

I winced. Wait, if Konohora couldn’t heal any one of us…

“The damn vampire had healing potions. Strong ones.” 

Of course she fucking did. Why not just tell me she had an orbital cannon pointed at us too? No, no, I shouldn’t be bitter. I should be happy. We would be a barely alive wreck without them. I would be paralyzed from the neck down right now. I should be happy. 

I tried to let that soothe me as we fell into quiet again. I closed my eyes, feeling the beating of my heart. Every beat soothed and disturbed me. I had been healed before, I technically had new eyes. Hell, when my body was remade into a demon, I got a new everything. That thought made me extremely bitter. My body dysmorphia began to rear its ugly head, a beast I thought I had slain in my teenage years. A beast I thought I had truly destroyed in my adult years. And yet, here it rose again, back to haunt me for a third time. 

Except, I’d truly beat it down this time. This time, I’d break it so thoroughly that not even a God could put it back together. This is a fantasy world. I’m sure if I go searching for long enough, I can find a- 

“I’m sorry.” 

Riary’s words spooked me, and then spooked me again when I registered them. I looked at her and she had… a very complex look on her face. I stared at her and we both said nothing more for a moment. 

“For what?” 

“...Nearly killing you when we met.” 

I squinted at her. 

“....and for blowing a hole through your neck…” 

My squint intensified and she looked away, scratching her cheek. 

“... And… for the trip…” 

“You made me drink your piss.” 

I actually saw Riary blush. She seemed to form a lump in her throat as I stared at her. 

“...It’s okay.”

She turned back to me, face serious. My face was too. I nodded at her. 

“We all have our kinks. I suppose yours are just grosser than others.” 

A look of shock passed over Riary as she gaped like a fish. By an amazing effort of will, I held my completely serious, no nonsense face. 

“Th-That That’s not-” 

“I don’t judge. Though if you felt that way about me, surely, we could have talked. I mean, I’m not that level of accommodating but surely we could have worked something out. Although if you really wanted someone to drink it, Tyler might be more accommodating. Konohara might even smile gently and help you out, if you begged her, though you’d probably be best off not asking her how she feels about it. Oh, I can already imagine her answer. ‘I do this for you, but I think it is… gross. Disgusting, even. It is unpleasant.’ Although maybe you guys could swap? Though she’d probably find that equally gross but Tyler might be up for that idea.” 

As I talked more and more nonsense, Riary got redder and redder. It was an amazing mix of rage and embarrassment. Even if she killed me right here and now, it would be worth it. This look, this look right here, it would warm my heart forever. In my coldest days I would remember Riary red as tomato, embarrassed to tears, mouth opening and closing in shock. 

“S-S-S-S-SHUT UP!”

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In a roar that practically shook the house, Riary stomped away. I finally couldn’t hold myself back anymore and burst out laughing, a roaring belly laugh. Her stomping only got louder and soon, I heard the tell tale sign of a door slamming shut. Even gone, I couldn’t stop laughing, tears streaming from my eyes. Even half an hour later, probably, I was still in giggles. 

We had lived and no matter what anyone said, I certainly felt like I had gained something from it. Was it a cool sword or a new power? No. But it was so much better. I just wish I could have taken a picture, but I’d have to bare with just having the memories. 

In a good mood, my memories went back to before. Which soured things a great deal. That fight… had been harrowing. Every step had felt like a miracle. From me spitting at her to get Riary from her, Tyler doing some kind of Aura Blade to give Riary time to focus on the Arrow, Konohora reviving me, and even the Arrow itself managing to land. I vaguely remembered reading a book once, using a metaphor that felt right. 

An egg can not break a rock wall. But if you stuffed dynamite into that egg, and set up 100 pounds of TNT around the wall, then through a miracle it can do it. It took a string of impossibilities, driven by our absolute desperate need to live, that made it possible. Even then, it only began to grow more crazy in hindsight. If Vanessa had ever taken us seriously, had ever done more than play around, had gotten bored or impatient, that would have been it. I had felt Riary grow stronger before the battle truly began, before she started forming the arrow. Would she have been strong enough beforehand to create a strong enough, no, a fast enough arrow? 

It was like I had rolled a 100, 10 times in a row. I had known the sort of power walking into there and it still eclipsed what I had imagined. Fully eclipsed it. I had thought three or four teams of Heroes could take Vanessa down. That could not possibly be further from the truth. My power gauge hadn’t been wrong, I just hadn’t understood it. Quantity and quality. Three or four hero teams would have the same quantity of power, but definitely not the quality. 

If there were two impossibly durable steel walls, Vanessa and four teams each attacking one, they might destroy it at the same rate. So they had the same ‘quantity’ of power. But if that wall was instead made of Titanium, Vanessa could easily destroy it while the heroes wouldn’t be able to. She had a higher ‘quality’. This wasn’t exactly new, my gauge had told me that. I just hadn’t been able to understand it, hadn’t known that such a difference even existed. It was like experiencing heat and cold, but not being able to tell the sensation apart. 

Knowing what I know now… I would have fled. I would have ran the fuck away, as fast as I demonly could. The second Riary had started to attack those suits of armor outside the mansion, I would have been sprinting for the hills. I wasn’t suicidal. I may have a mixed relationship with being alive at the moment, namely that it’s surprisingly difficult to continue doing, but hell no. I wasn’t going to go out and cut off my own head. Death could stay the hell away from me. Not when I was just starting to get my feet underneath me. 

I rose from my bed feeling, surprisingly refreshed. I walked out the room, noticing I was in the Baron’s house. He saw me, fully without any sort of cloak on, but he was all smiles. The four missing women were there too. They blushed for some reason on seeing me, and I had to check real fast that I was clothed. 

And I was. Surprisingly so. I had come into this world wearing a Black T-shirt and black sweat pants. Just some casual clothes. They had been destroyed in Riary’s fire when I was burnt alive. Then I had been given some rough clothes from Celina after the fact. They had sucked but been all I had. And once again, they had been burnt to ash by Riary. 

Now? The clothes I wore were different, they felt more… weighty, more sturdy. But they looked the same as the clothes I had arrived in this world as. They were a bit… tight however. And I noted with some amusement that the underwear… well… Riary seemed to not be done playing pranks as I was fairly sure that I was wearing a pair of Vanessa’s underwear. I inwardly rolled my eyes. There was no way that this village didn’t have a normal pair of boxers. Hell, I could’ve gone commando. 

“Your friends are waiting for you.” Reese, the Baron said. 

I raised my eyes but walked towards the door. 

Opening it, I smiled at what I saw. 

Tyler, standing hale and hearty, a big goofy grin on his face. He wore a significantly larger back than before, but I also saw a tower shield underneath it, on his back. It was larger than his last one, more square, and seemed like it was made of silver even if it was probably steel. He waved at me, a small backpack in his other hand. 

Konohora, smiling gently, a steel quarterstaff in her hands. She looked at peace, reminding me of a cat that ate a canary somehow. Almost angelic. We all had reasons to be happy, but she seemed especially pleased for reasons that currently escaped me. Could have something to do with managing to call down a literal Miracle. 

Riary, arms crossed, face still red. She had no new weapons, but she needed none. She was the weapon and she was stronger than when she arrived. Even through her embarrassment, her face and eyes told a deeper story. Angry, always angry. But also happy. Rage was the cornerstone of her existence, her neutral, natural state of being, even if it didn’t show. Quick to irritation, quick to anger, but it only colored her. It wasn’t ever a color I had hated. Riary was fun, when she wasn’t trying or wanting to kill you. I’d have to tease her more. 

“I remembered this time.” Tyler spoke up. He walked towards me, handing me a bag. “Provisions, tent, clothes. I made sure to pack everything you’ll need. There’s even some of that vampire’s money in there.” 

That last bit did make me smile. I had been broke from day one. It was good, great actually, to finally own something besides the clothes on my back. 

“And there’s one more thing.” 

Hmm? Tyler spoke before looking over to Konohora, who stepped aside. Stabbed into the dirt, with a holder next to it, was a sword. Not just any sword, but a great sword. Long, thin for a greatsword, and the metal that made up the blade was entirely, completely black. It was black as an abyss, as if it was sucking up the light. The hilt was only dull grey, but it practically seemed to shine compared to the blade. 

It looked evil. And badass. 

“I think it’s about time you got a weapon of your own.” Tyler said. 

Tyler, you glorious racist. I bet you saw that and instantly thought ‘oh wow, demon sword, this is perfect for Derek!’ And I fucking love it. A weapon… I hadn’t had a proper weapon since coming to this world. Just my claws and tail and fist. Good weapons and I’d never stop using them, but a sword… a sword is a man’s romance! 

I walked over towards it, almost hesitantly, and picked it up. Heavy. Super heavy. But not too much. 

I swung and it sailed through the air. Nothing special, nothing fancy, no miracles or magic sword. Just a sharpened, heavy piece of metal. Simple, effective, and looked good to boot. 

It was perfect for me. 

“Thank you.” I said, expressing my gratitude. In awe at what I had received. It was a beautiful moment. 

Riary ruined it. 

“Come on already, pick up the thing that screams ‘I’ve got a small dick’ and let’s go already.” 

“Damn you Riary.” I said, a smile on my face. 

Friends huh? That’s what the Village’s Baron had said. 

Maybe. Maybe they were, maybe they could be. 

As I strapped my new badass sword to my back, I thought a little more on that. Well, I still had my own goals, my own research to do. But it didn’t sound bad. If anything, this whole adventure had only made me more excited. There were houses with domains, vampires with fucking Tactile Telekinesis that worked on air, Miracles and Aura Blades. What had started as a far flung wish, a ‘ha, yeah right, maybe’ was starting to crystalize in my brain. If all that was possible, then a certain potion had to exist right? 

I would find it. 

 

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