Chapter 20: Chapter 16 I’m never going back!

So right now I'm sitting on the lap of a busty blonde elf. Also, I have to note that she’s wearing skimpy clothing too. I'm having mixed feelings about this, I mean I was just a virgin weeb in my past life. This kind of stimulation is so exciting yet I feel this sense of immortality. I've never been to this kind of place.

…

Jesus christ I sound like such a virgin. I need to get laid. WAIT! No! My dick! It’s fucking RAW-

*Cough* I mean, it’s fucking gone! I left it with my n-word pass!

<<Reminder. Using [Universal Shapeshift] makes it possible to regain your genitals.>>

PHEW!

Anyway, I'm sitting on this elf’s lap and thank god this body has a sense of touch otherwise, creator or not, I’ll revive Veldanava and beat the shit out of him.

I can thankfully feel both her thighs and breasts as I get sandwiched between them. They feel so soft, my body is melting…

But I catch the dwarves giving me knowing grins, so I quickly regain my form. Not good, these thighs are more lethal than I thought. Or is it the breasts? HNNNG! I don’t know what to choose, the breasts or the thighs!

(A/N: Gotta be honest, I'm more of a thighs man myself… Just my horny opinion, don’t mind me.)

But still, repaying me like this… gotta say, I like the way you think Kaijin…

???- “Hey hey, Mr Slime, would you like to try ‘this’?”

One of the elves sitting across from me asks me a question. Saying that, she moves her hands suggestively. I mean, I know what she’s referring to, but Jesus Christ if I didn’t, my hopes would’ve been so high…

Rimuru- “Are you suggesting fortune-telling?”

???- “Oh, you know?”

She sounded a little disappointed there. Was she deliberately trying to trick me? Probably trying to get an innocent reaction out of me. Well, what can I say, I'm cute as fuck.

(A/N: Yes you are, as long as you shut up.)

She brings out a crystal ball while asking me what exactly do I want her to see. Another elf, however, suggests something.

???- “How about the person he’s destined to be with?”

And THAT got everyone attention. Why are they so curious about the destined person of a slime? Or maybe it’s just for the gossip?

While I was thinking about those things, she starts working her magic. Wait, is it magic? Or something else? Wait, now’s not the time. Even I'm a bit curious of the result. Is it gonna be Shizu? Or…?

A figure starts forming in the crystal ball on her lap. A girl, thank god, but that’s surprisingly all I can see. Just a vague outline of a girl who I assume to be in her mid-teens. Odd…

???- “Hmm, this is odd. It normally shows either a clear image or none at all, but something hazy like this…”

Well, fortune telling is some shady stuff nonetheless, even in a fantasy world with swords and magic. I mean, this is looking into the future and stuff, no way using time like this is something easy.

Don’t get me wrong, I know this girl here is the real deal, but there’s definitely some stuff no one knows yet.

Anyway, that happened and time continues to pass in cheers and laughter. Of course, shounen anime logic makes it so someone just HAS to come along and ruin it. I mean, I was expecting this guy to appear, but couldn't it have been later? No? Well, fuck you too.

Vester- “Well, if it isn’t Kaijin! Goodness me, what are you doing, bringing this vulgar monster into a high-class establishment like this?”

Ok buddy, first off, I'm not vulgar. If anything, I'm cleaner than you. No, like, seriously, my body has no dirt or germs or anything, I just unconsciously “eat” them since I'm a slime.

Anyway, he starts asking the owner of the place if bringing monsters into places like this is allowed all of a sudden, to which the owner replies while stuttering that I'm just a harmless slime.

Kaijin- “Oh great. That’s Vester, the Minister…”

I can hear the “oh fuck not him” tone in his voice, but I don’t say anything. Things happened exactly like it would’ve, he talks loudly before spilling his drink over me. Where he got that drink from I have no fucking clue cos it wasn’t ours, but I digress.

Well, I just absorbed it as soon as it hit me so it didn’t “spill” anywhere and the elf I'm sitting on didn’t get any of the drink on her. She gives me a grateful smile and honestly that makes it all worth it. I mean, elves are REALLY beautiful, you know?

… I'm not a simp. Believe me!

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But yeah Kaijin walked forward and gave him a good smacc in the jaw. Like, REALLY good. It was loud and everything.

Kaijin- “I hope you’re prepared for treating my guest like that!”

I think you should’ve said that BEFORE you hit him, but whatever. Vester stumbles back into the arms of the attendant standing behind him as he stares at Kaijin in shock.

Vester- “H-how dare you speak to me like that! And you even hit me…!”

Kaijin- “Will you shut it already!”

Kaijin walks forward to give Vester another punch, but I take action at this point. I make a meat bun and throw it at Vester’s face.

*Pat*

…

The meat bun hits his cheek softly before sliding off harmlessly. Vester looks at it for a while, confused, before he suddenly jumps back exaggeratedly. Emphasis on the word “jump”. As in he did it out of his own free will.

Vester- “Y-you, a mere monster, dare attack me with such force that I get thrown back!”

Everyone just looks at him with eyes saying “seriously?” as everyone can easily tell that my “attack” is harmless. But alas, Kaijin had enough of his shit and knocks Vester out cold.

He turned around and looked me in the eye (not that I have any eyes).

Kaijin- “Oy, Rimuru, you said you were looking for a skilled artesian. Will I happen to fit the bill?”

I wanna know what happens if I say “no” but, honestly, I can't do him like that, even as a joke. I mean, a man who will punch a minister of all people just because he insulted you is someone you can count on for life. Especially if this means they’ll be facing hardships from that.

I don’t know if OG Rimuru knew the weight of Kaijin’s actions just now. I know because I watched the anime, but Kaijin will lose his job and will become exiled from the country he grew up in. Furthermore, this is only because King Gazel let him off lightly and exiled him. If punished normally, he would have had to work in the mines for years if not decades.

Honestly, I'm feeling a little bit guilty. I could have stopped this, but for my own goals… *Sigh* What’s done is done. I gotta think such things like this through properly next time… or don’t, whatever.

Procrastination.

I jump off the elf girl’s lap and bounce up to Kaijin.

Rimuru- “Kaijin, you are MORE than enough! I’d be glad to have you on hand!”

And so he smiles… before the FBI comes back and locks me up again, this time with friends.

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Name: Rimuru

Race: Origin Slime 

Protection: Crest of Space

Title: Highest Tier Spirit

Ultimate Skills: [Illya, Heaven's Feel]

Intrinsic Skills: [Infinite Regeneration] [Universal Shapeshift] [Universal Sense]

Unique Skills: [Great Sage] [Predator] [Limited Creation] [Rune Master]

Extra Skills: [Control Water] [Lord's Ambition] [Thought Communication] [Shadow Motion]

Common Skills: [Poisonous Breath] [Paralysis Breath] [Sticky Thread] [Steel Thread] [Drain] [Ultrasonic Wave] [Body Armour] [Keen Smell]

Tolerances: [Resist Temperature] [Resist Melee Attack] [Cancel Pain] [Resist Electricity] [Resist Paralysis]