Chapter 57: An elf's philosophy

From the zenith, the sun had dropped by a considerable margin. Time had passed. The sun still hung up in the sky, but it had been more than tilted for a long time now.

I crouched down, peering over my knees, going about a new business I had found. In front of my knees, they—all the weapons of the battlefield I had gathered—were all extended and presented on the ground. I was examining them all. Making sure none were missing, I arranged them all neatly. There were so many weapons I didn't know which one to pick. There were of all kinds, after all. Human stuff, elven daggers, and orcish longswords. There were also axes, tons of them. And clubs, too. And so, I, with a lot of time on my hands, was sorting all these weapons, labelling some ugly, some beautiful, and some average. For example, clubs were ugly, the swords, short swords, and daggers were beautiful, and the rest of the axes and two-handed swords were neither. This had been a new little game of mine, and it had lasted quite a long time already. Squinting my eyes at all the beautiful groups of weapons, I now had to separate them into further categories.

"You!" I pointed at one. "You picked my interest. Come and see daddy..." Jumping across the sea of weapons, I went and picked up the sword I had just seen. It was neither big nor heavy. It had a refined style. Now that I examined it carefully, I noticed it slightly shone, emitting a faint, bright light. It glittered and sparkled, I liked it. It definitely was an enhanced weapon. I could sense mana coming from it like it had been a living thing. Playing at killing enemies in my head, I danced around, swinging the sword here and there.

Deciding that this sword, the one the paladin used, was the sword I elected, I coughed dismissively in my hand, telling all the weapons they were dismissed. Swinging it around some more, I asked the sword to serve me well.

And with that, I ended my little game. I had no reason to stretch it further. The elf finally woke up. Skipping my way all up to him, I casually spoke. "Hey, you! Finally waking up?" He had a pained expression as he woke up. His pale face had only regained a little color. Straightening his back up, he groaned.

He had been resting right by the Weapon Assembly Event. As I sensed he came to, I hastily jogged to his side. So far, for the whole time I waited, he was resting. Sleeping and agonizing. Now, he was finally up.

"You're done, right?" I asked him. He groaned more, confused about what was happening. His head was so heavy he had to support it with a hand.

"...Princess…?" Rubbing his red eyes and slightly burned face, his eyebrows were pressed down and a crease formed in between them. "...P-Princess!?" And immediately, as he recognized his surroundings, he promptly analyzed me, from head to toe, like I was the one so injured. "Y-You're covered in blood!? A-Are you all right?!"

"That attack really took its toll on you, didn't it? I'm all right." The blood on me was my enemies', not mine. Telling him as much, he was at least reassured about my good health.

"P-Princess!? Where— Where are we!?"

"There there… Take it easy, you stupid elf. Just take it easy. That attack you pulled… You have to take it easy. I can't travel with a dead guide." Though he was super worn out and tired, the adrenaline allowed him to get excited at once. Throwing his head from one side to the other, he made sure we were still where we stopped. He kept mumbling words to himself, looking for enemies and whatnot. "Just chill out, why don't you. We're good. Safe. You took them all down. Do you... not remember?"

"N-No! P-Princess! They knew about—"

"Calm down. I know."

He was in a truly pitiful state.

"I-It was a necessary sacrifice, Princess…" Did he actually feel bad about it? In a way he did. But most of all, I think, his conflicting emotions were due to the fact his princess had witnessed all of it. He truly loved her as his ruler and wanted to protect the head of the kingdom. He wanted to protect her against anything even remotely wrongful. He already felt bad enough for not being able to protect her from the demon lords who laid waste to his people's land, and now he allowed her to witness his folly.

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Now, he also felt so ashamed and unworthy of her ruler's guard as he failed to protect her from witnessing the most hideous face of that thing we called war. He felt ashamed to a point he teared up apologetically.

He didn't want her princess to consider him a more despicable scum than she already did. He knew the princess looked at all of the elves and her kingdom as cowards who were unable to even try to be brave and follow in the lead of her late father the king.

Who were so cowardly they wouldn't even try to oppose the enemy, and who, so much undignified they were, could even come to believe in the so-called 'truce' the demons offered the elven people. The demons had offered promises and truces in history, to other peoples of other times, and they hardly kept any.

Still, that window of action they were offered was the only window they would ever have. At any rate, all of that hardly mattered now. Still, the elf felt ashamed of his action and tried to redeem his position as a noble attendant.

"It was just a necessary sacrifice, Princess… You have to understand. I had to ensure at least I stayed alive in the end… And that no information would leak out. It was simply too… dangerous." The pained look on his expression didn't change. He had a severe shortcoming of mana. Still, he spoke. "The princess needs me… A-And," he grunted, "our people need the princess…!"

"There there," I calmed him down. "Don't get too excited."

"We… need the princess! N-Not like it's any of your business anyway… am I correct…?"

Hmm. Of course it was my business. What hid behind the words he just said, I didn't know. But ignoring the way he referred to me as 'she' and 'her', I stayed silent, waiting for him to finish what he had to say.

But my lips didn't move and neither did his. As the atmosphere grew awkwardly, I noisily cleared my throat and spoke to him. "You… really surprised me anyway. Back then, I mean." Seeing he didn't respond, I coughed into my hand and got up. The elf probably hadn't rested enough, but I still asked. "W-Well… Why don't we just get moving then—"

A whack onto the earth made it tremble. "I am truly sorry!" Yet another whack rang out. The elf had gotten his head down and pressed it on the earth, yelling he was truly sorry. That surprising sight reminded me of how the hideous elf had reacted to me, calling myself some strange name. With each 'sorry' another Thump resounded. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so—"

"What the heck, man!?"

"I truly am! I had to understand! But I didn't! I had to! Yet… I didn't…!"

"H-Hey…! Just— Just relax," I stepped away from him. "What is it anyway? Apologies?"

It was my time to be delusional about my identity, at present. From my perspective, I absolutely couldn't have him believe I wasn't the elven royalty. Well, that delusion wouldn't last long.

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