Chapter 11: Ch. 11 – There is No Going Back

Gunshots rang out in the forest, and I picked up my speed. The walls were in sight, but I did not see anyone watching them, which filled me with dread. If they did not trust Lincoln, there was a chance that they might have lied to him. Thankfully, I quickly heard Clarke's voice scolding everyone which meant that it was likely not an attack.

"This is exactly what the Grounders want. Don't you see that? They don't have to kill us if we kill each other first."

"They won't have to kill us if we all get the virus. Get back in the damn dropship," someone shouted back as I slipped in through the gate.

There was a solid impact and the crowd gasped lightly, but I could not see what had happened. I was winded from the run to and from Lincoln's cave, so I walked up slowly to the group and started weaving my way through.

"Not to state the obvious, but your quarantine isn't working," Bellamy said, but then Clarke wobbled.

Finn rushed forward without any hesitation and caught her before she could hit the ground.

"Finn, don't touch her!" Raven yelled, not that he listened.

"Hey, let me go. I'm okay," Clarke said.

"No, you're not," he refused.

"Octavia will come back with a cure," Clarke stated.

"There is no cure... but the Grounders don't use the sickness to kill," I announced.

"Really? Tell that to them," Bellamy yelled, pointing at several people who were lying dead outside of the dropship. "I warned you about seeing that Grounder again."

"Yeah? Well, I have a warning for you, too. The Grounders are coming... and they're attacking at first light," I said, finishing my warning.

That set the crowd murmuring as no one doubted my words. I sighed, looking around at everyone's faces. I barely interacted with most of them, but I could see Monty, Raven, and Jasper mixed in the crowd, and then there was Clarke, Finn, and Bellamy who looked a lot like Tori. Life here was a struggle every step of the way, and if I stayed, things would not end here for me. Tori already said that when the events play out here, Katye and I would move onto our next lives in another world. The decision was more than just them, but I also could not see abandoning them either. Most of them would make it to the end without any help, but how could I live with myself knowing that I could have helped shoulder this burden and even ease it.

I headed for the dropship, but Bellamy grabbed my arm. I yanked it out of his grip with an annoyed expression and headed for Clarke and Finn. "Come on, I'll help you get Clarke into the dropship."

As we walked into the dropship, Clarke asked, "What do I have to do to stop you from coming in here?"

"Get better," Finn said as he looked around for a place to sit her down.

"If he's not sick by now, then he's probably immune like me," I said, trying to reassure her.

"Here. Come on, she can take mine," Murphy offered as he got out of his hammock.

Finn immediately hurried over and carefully placed her down. Murphy walked away and sat down on a box. Clarke was on the verge of passing out, but her color still looked better than the others, so I hoped that she was just exhausted from trying to fight the virus and my healing spell.

"What else did Lincoln tell you?" Finn asked.

"The virus doesn't last long," I replied.

"It's true; I feel better," Murphy agreed.

Someone started coughing, waking Clarke back up, and tried to climb out of the hammock, as she said, "They need to stay hydrated."

Finn kept her in place with a hand and retorted, "You need to stay hydrated."

I grabbed a nearby cup of water and gave it to Clarke who took only a sip before handing it back to me, saying, "Okay, them, too. Please?"

It was clear that Finn was not moving, so I nodded my head and agreed, "I'll do it."

"I'll help you," Murphy offered, standing up.

"You need to save yourselves. Just leave camp. Take anyone healthy enough with you," Clarke said weakly.

"If you think that's even a possibility, you don't know me very well," Finn replied.

"I know you," she responded softly before falling asleep.

"Look. At this rate, when the Grounders get here, there won't be anyone left to fight back," Murphy said, walking by Finn.

"That's the point," I retorted as I handed a cup of water to someone.

An idea must have struck him as Finn nearly smiled as he said before rushing out of the dropship, "Then we slow them down."

For now, I could only hope this was the miracle that the group had pulled off to save themselves, and when I heard the idea, it was pretty good. They were going to blow up the bridge where Clarke and the leader of the Grounders had met with some of the rocket fuel from the crashed ship and the last of our gunpower. Unfortunately, Bellamy was still angry, so I was not allowed to leave camp, but they needed my help with the sick as well since I had yet to get sick.

Clarke woke up a few hours later, well rested and looking healthy. I gave a rundown of the plan that Finn had come up with and that they had already left to get the rocket fuel. I nearly dozed off myself while telling her everything, so she sent me to her hammock to get some sleep and she took over helping everyone for me. I woke up a little after sunset and ate a pack of rations before I started helping again. Things were going fine with Clarke and Murphy, but then Bellamy was carried in by two people.

"Bellamy? Clear some space. Lay him down," I said to a few people who were starting to recover.

No sooner had they placed him on the makeshift bed than a mouthful of blood started spilling out at the corners of his mouth. I had already seen this a dozen times by now, so I rolled him over and patted his back gently as he spit it all out. When I rolled him back over, I could see the fear and panic in his eyes, and it broke my heart, imagining it was Tori.

"Hey, big brother," I said, wiping the blood off his face with a cloth.

"I'm scared," he said.

"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise," I said.

"That's what I said to you the day you were born."

"And now it's my turn to take care of you."

Bellamy grabbed my hand that was on his chest and said, "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm not going anywhere. Now, get some rest now, okay?"

He nodded his head and quickly passed out. Clarke walked over and checked his pulse while I let out a shaky breath.

"It's a little, but no worse than anyone in the beginning. Why don't you go outside and get some fresh air? You look like you need it, and I can watch over Bellamy," Clarke suggested.

"I think I will... thanks," I agreed, standing up.

I walked out of the dropship and looked out over those who were left. All of them were kids and should have been in high school or early college by the standards of my past life, yet they had lived in space, survived the trip down here, and were now having to fight for their lives. Life could be cruel.

While I was looking around, I noticed Raven slip through a gap in the wall that I used often with a large pack on her back and a rifle in her hands. Finn and Bellamy were originally the ones who were going to plant the bomb, but there was no way that Finn would let Raven go alone which meant that she had taken it on her own.

"Stubborn woman," I grumbled and ran after her.

The girl was fast, I had to give her that. It was not until she stumbled and fell that I had a chance to catch up to her. Instead of getting up right away, she quickly pulled her bag off her shoulder and opened it up which let me close the distance between us.

"Were you really planning on doing everything alone?" I asked with exasperation as she pulled something out of the bag.

"Octavia, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I have a security system on my favorite hole out of camp. I'm helping, so everything good?" I retorted with a chuckle.

"Yeah," she said, tucking the glass jar back into her bag.

When she shined the light on her face, I saw a streak of blood dripping from her nose, and I sighed. "We need to hurry," I said as I pulled out a clean rag from my jacket pocket and handed it to her.

While she wiped her face, I took the gun and flashlight from her then we started running again. The sunrise was less than an hour away and we had twenty more minutes to run if we did not stop. She was not able to last too long at a run, but I had her lean on me since it was far too late to turn back now.

By the time that we reached the bridge, the sky was already brightening. Raven was only conscious due to her stubbornness, but she kept moving her feet forward with my own. We reached the middle of the bridge and I eased her down to the ground. She only had time to take off her bag and open it before we heard the war drums.

Raising my rifle, I scanned the other side while I commented, "I don't mean to rush you, Raven, but I don't want to meet the welcoming party."

She did not reply, but she started building the bomb. First, she placed the bottle of pink liquid, which I guessed was the rocket fuel, into the metal can and then poured the gunpower over the first bottle, filling up the can. She put the lid on it and tried to push herself. I caught her before she could fall over and brought her up, resting her arm across my shoulders.

"Raven!" Finn yelled in the distance.

"Come on, I've got you, Raven," I said softly as I turned us around and practically dragged her towards our side of the bridge.

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Finn broke through the brush a minute later and helped carry Raven away. We slid into a ditch that was not too far away and Finn quickly stood back up, shouting, "Shoot, Jasper! Shoot! Shoot!"

Peaking over the edge of the ditch, I could see the torches of the Grounder army, no doubt. Jasper fired his gun, but no boom followed after them. I could only sigh with exasperation since it never stopped. Something would go wrong, and I would have to step in. This is what it would mean for me if I decided to follow this path. I would need to step forward and take charge of my second life, or I should just give up and go with Lincoln.

"Take her back to camp. You need the head start in case I can't do it either," I told Finn.

He looked at the rifle hanging off of my shoulder and nodded his head. He gathered Raven in his arms and stood up. I pushed the rifle behind me and was about to run up the side of the hill where Jasper was standing on top of before another gunshot rang out. Finn and I shared a look of surprise, but since there was still no explosion, I knew that I had to hurry. Again, just as I started up the hill, another gunshot rang out, but this one was immediately followed by a giant explosion. I stumbled to the ground, my ears ringing, yet I was still smiling.

Jasper had done it, and we were safe, at least for another day. It was a sign that they could do this without me, but my mind was made up. I would not abandon my new friends and my real brother, even if it meant that I was facing death at every step. If I wanted a happy, quiet life, I would get it when I was strong enough to protect it.

"I'll catch up with you guys... I need to see someone," I said to Finn as I took off the rifle strap and passed the gun to him.

"Tell him thanks from us," Finn replied.

I nodded my head as I turned around then smiled bitterly. I knew that Lincoln appeared in later episodes, but how could he forgive me for refusing to go with him? How could I face him again? His people thought he was a traitor because of me, so he had to abandon them and run away, yet I was not willing to do the same. It made me sick, but I also knew that I was doing the right thing.

When I reached Lincoln's cave, he was packing the last of his things. He looked up at me, hearing my footsteps, and I could tell he was angry.

I sighed, shaking my head, "We had to stop the attack."

"Look, there is so much you don't understand. The Mountain Men, they'll come, and they'll kill us all. We have to get out of here while we still have the chance."

"Mountain Men? You mean the drawings in your book?" I asked, remembering a strange drawing of a figure shrouded in fog or smoke.

"Yeah... Now, let's go. We got a lot of ground to cover before dark."

"I'm not going with you," I said, reaching into the bag that I always kept on me because it held Lincoln's journal.

He looked at me with confusion and pain, and I could help but start tearing up myself. He recognized the journal and walked to me slowly with measured steps. He took it hesitantly without breaking eye contact with me.

"You'll die here," he said.

"Maybe," I agreed.

"Why?"

"I already told you. I want to protect my friends and family. I can't do that if I leave them behind... I'm sorry," I replied as a few tears fell from my eyes.

I wanted to kiss him goodbye, but it did not feel quite right. Instead, I kissed his cheek then left before he could try and change my mind. I had not even known Lincoln for a month, but it broke my heart to see the pain in his eyes. The walk back to camp was not pleasant, but that was solely due to the terrible company that I was keeping, myself. Beating myself up would not help anything, but I afforded myself the luxury of it until I made it back.

I headed to the dropship and found everybody inside asleep, but that was not surprising with how sick they were. I had a plan in mind, so I made a b-line for the canister which held Monty's moonshine. I poured myself a large cup and took a big gulp with a grimace.

"You look like shit," Raven said weakly then started coughing.

I set the cup down and grabbed a nearby rag. I wiped away the traces of blood from her mouth when she calmed down as I teased, "You're one to talk."

She smiled weakly and gave a huff which I took as a chuckle. "Seriously though, what's wrong?"

I flexed my jaw for a moment before I answered honestly, "I told Lincoln to leave without me. He is fleeing to another clan since his own considers him a traitor because of me."

"I guess Earth and love don't mix," she scoffed.

"You and Finn...?" I asked, but the look on her face was an obvious answer. "I'm sorry. I wanted to warn you, but you already knew, and I didn't know what to say."

"If you are going to keep talking about this, I expect a real drink," she grumbled.

"Fair enough, that's why I'm here after all. When you feel better, swing by my tent and we can finish our wonderful conversation... or, we can plot ways to makes Finn's life more miserable, either way, we can drink until we forget about our problems for a while."

"I'll hold you to that," she said with a smile and gave another huff which brought on another coughing fit.

"Just get better. You may not have Finn like you used to, but there are some of us who care about you just as much," I said gently, cleaning her face.

"Thanks, Octavia."

She quickly fell back asleep, and I watched over her and the others until I finished my drink. I poured myself another one and headed back out to check in with Clarke since I had been gone for a while. She was not too hard to find as she was eating in her tent.

"Hey, I just wanted to check in with you and see if you needed me to do anything? I know I ran off earlier, but I caught Raven sneaking out of camp and I knew that she was trying to set the bomb on her own," I said as I ducked into her tent.

"Finn told me when they got back. Is Lincoln okay?"

"That's up for debate right now, but physically, he is... I don't think I'm going to see him again," I replied softly.

"I'm sorry, Octavia."

"It's fine; I made my decision, he made his. Anyways... not that our list of enemies is lacking, but he said something about the Mountain Men will come and kill us all because of the bridge. I didn't get anything else about them though. He doesn't get scared easily, so they must be a serious threat, but who knows when they will appear."

"Thanks for the information, I guess," she sighed, leaning back.

"Yeah, well, just don't shoot the messenger later," I chuckled.

"I don't need you to do anything, but we need to talk about those powers that you showed me."

Now, it was my turn to sigh, and I replied, "I think that was some fever dream that you had."

"Nice try, Octavia, but your healing worked; it just left me exhausted and I didn't stop until you got back."

"And?"

"We need to tell Bellamy."

"And are you going to be on my side when I refuse to stop practicing with them?"

"Are they really that important?" she countered.

I gave her a look then focused my mind. Although I kept my hands in front of me, holding my cup, my knife floated out of its spot on my belt then shot forward, striking the spot next to her plate.

"Do you think they could be helpful?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

"Fine, I see your point, but we still need to tell him," she insisted.

"I know, but can it wait a few days? There is enough shit for us to worry about aside from these powers. When things get serious, I know I can't hide away anymore, but I'd like a few more days of peace," I pleaded.

"Have you noticed any problems when you use these abilities?"

"I get tired, either mentally or physically, but nothing that a little sleep can't cure."

"Alright... I'll give you a few days, but if the Grounders attack, we will have to tell him."

"That's fine. When they attack, I know that I need to step forward, but Bellamy has a hard time looking at me as anything but his baby sister."

"Okay," she agreed.

I reached out with my power and pulled the knife back to my hand then tucked it into my belt. "Things may not get easier, but I want you to know that I am here for you. I love Bellamy, and all, but that doesn't mean that I think that he is the best leader for us."

"I appreciate the confidence, but it feels like it's misplaced."

"I'm not any better. Honestly, you and Bellamy make a good team, but there are just too many things coming at you both to give you a fair chance. There are no easy answers out here, Clarke. We all make mistakes, but that's only a true problem when you can't admit them and learn from them."

She gave me a half-hearted smile and replied, "Then let's hope that we can live long enough to learn from the mistake that got us into this war."

"I have hope," I said, returning her smile. "I'm going to finish this then take a long nap. If you need me, just let me know."

A/N: The next chapter is NSFW, and there will not be a warning at the beginning of the start of the next chapter because I always find them distracting when I read them. lol

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