Chapter 20: Ch. 20 – Questions and Answers

I spent the rest of the day in the woods with Lincoln, Indra, and her warriors, practicing my Earth spells. The more that I used them, the stronger that they would become, but it came with the price of a nasty headache. It was worth it though because, by the end of the day, I had extended my Earth Domain by a foot despite not practicing it specifically.

After a little convincing, Indra allowed me to make some walls around the area just in case a parent of the missing kids had a death wish as well as hiding what I could do from Mount Weather in case they were watching. So long as no Grounders were hurt, Indra would not report any problems to Lexa, but that did not mean she would not order the deaths of anyone foolish enough to test her. I could only hope that Abby would be able to keep the camp under control until Kane returned and then it would be his problem to keep them all alive.

Lincoln had been quieter than normal, which was saying something for him. There were times that I caught him staring at me while I practiced, but after what I had revealed, I was not surprised. He had told me that he was scared of what I might become, but now, it appeared that I already was a monster.

No one came and saw me until the end of the next day, and it was Raven alone. She was not using a crutch anymore, but there was still a noticeable limp as she walked. She looked around the stone walls of the campground with a raised brow then frowned when she saw me sulking alone against the back wall.

"Where's your guy?" she asked as she walked over to me.

"Around, I guess... I don't think he can look at me anymore without seeing the monster that I became," I replied.

Raven reached into the bag hanging off her shoulder and pulled out a bottle as she sat down next to me. "Thought you might need this."

I took it from her and smiled when I smelled the fiery moonshine after I took off the lid. Without hesitation, I took a big drink then passed it back to her while I sighed. She held the bottle in her hands for a while before she also took a drink and gave it back.

"Clarke told me that you saved Finn... What did you save him from?" Raven asked after several minutes of silence.

I took a big gulp before I started explaining, "In my first life, he ended up attacking that village, killing eighteen people, elderly and children alike. He made it out of there, but when Clarke was finally able to make a truce with the Grounders, it came with the condition that she handed over Finn for his crimes. He was set to be burned alive while the surviving members of the village cut him eighteen times, one for each death. Clarke, Abby, and Kane weren't going to just hand him over after Lincoln told us how he would be executed, but things inside Camp Jaha started getting worse and we were scared that the camp would turn on him with the armies of the Twelve Clans surrounding us. A few of us snuck him out and hid in the dropship, but the Grounders followed us. All of us were ready to fight, but then he turned himself over to them before anyone could stop him because he could not live with what he had done. They set him up on a post so that the entire camp would have to watch his death, but Clarke couldn't give up on him. She pleaded with Lexa to spare him and then even asked her to take her instead because she had been the one to fire the rockets which killed three hundred Grounders, but she still said no. It was Clarke's final request to say goodbye to him that she did allow, but while she kissed him goodbye, she stabbed a knife into his heart so that he wouldn't be tortured to death... she told me later that he even thanked her."

Tears rolled down her cheeks as I talked, and she pulled the bottle out of my hands when I finished. She had several more drinks before she completely broke down crying. I pulled her into my arms and held her until she stopped.

"I know... I had to watch Lincoln be executed by an extremist in our own camp who took the Chancellor position from Kane and Abby. I killed him last time after a whole lot of shit that Lexa and I are going to try and stop, but I'll do it again if Pike gains power. If it means that I can save him, you, Clarke, Bellamy, Monty, Abby, Kane, and the rest of our people, I don't care if I become that monster," I said, hating that I had to keep lying to her.

"You're not a monster, Octavia," Raven said quietly.

"The 'you' that met me after the bunker would disagree even if we patched up our relationship a few years later," I said, picking up the bottle.

"What was our relationship before?" she asked.

I took a drink then smirked, saying, "Friends, family... that's what happens after everything that we went through together, but we were never lovers before... though that doesn't mean that I never wanted it. You just had your own scars after losing Finn and the other two that you tried with. You thought you were cursed, so even after the fighting finally stopped, you always refused."

"So... there is actually an end to all of this bullshit?" she asked, taking the bottle back and drinking from it.

I chuckled and replied, "If you want my ending, we'll have to leave Earth behind when Diyoza's ship lands after Earth stabilizes, go to a planet where we'll try to kill each other every month because of some crazy plant spores and is ruled by a group of Immortal's that use an AI chip to transfer their minds into the bodies of Nightbloods. After that, we would have to fight off the Disciples who are a crazy cult that have been training to fight the Final War, as they called it, since the earth was first destroyed a hundred years ago... No offense, but I'd really prefer to not live through all of that crap again."

"We travel to different planets?"

"We went to three more after leaving Earth. Just trust me when I say that you don't wake up from cryo-sleep well rested, even if you sleep for a hundred and twenty-five years."

She let out a long sigh, looking into the fire, and took another drink. "So, why did you show Clarke your fire powers?"

I chuckled and took the bottle back. "They're listening to all of this, right?" I asked with a knowing smile as her expression changed. "It's fine as long as it's just you guys. Abby was the one with the restriction, not Clarke... Crazy as it sounds... Clarke and Lexa fell in love before Lexa was killed in one of the stupidest ways possible. Lexa knows what happens after her death because she also has memories of the next Commander who would have been Clarke's adopted daughter. While I was in the bunker with Abby and Kane, you, Bellamy, Monty, Murphy, Emori, and Echo all went up into space and lived on the remainder of the Ark that's still up there. Clarke got left alone on the surface, able to survive due to her being made into a Nightblood in the same way that Mount Weather is going to use the bone marrow of our friends for them to survive on the surface, and she finds a young girl in the Louwoda Kliron area. Needless to say, but the Commander trusts Clarke even more than me."

"Then why are you both going through all of this trouble?"

"Because, if Lexa appears weak, she will be killed by her own people, and then we'll be killed by the Grounders. The whole reason why I am taking out the Mountain with my own strength is to show the might of Skaikru. Then after that, I will have to play the part of the most loyal servant while you guys prepare the bunker, Mount Weather, Camp Jaha, and whatever else we can come up with to survive Praimfaya. Until the final signs of radiation poisoning start, her people won't believe her even if she tells them the truth."

"That's a lot of bullshit that you went through just to do it all over again," Raven said.

"Tell me about it," I said before I finished off the last of the bottle. "So, any more questions?"

"No," she said quietly.

"Then how about I heal you until I'm ready to pass out? This isn't going to be enough for me to sleep after waking up these old ghosts. If you are too tired afterwards, you can sleep here with me, or you can ask Indra to have Lincoln take you back to camp, but I don't need him being shot or detained because of a misunderstanding. I'll be cranky if I get woken up about it, and I'll be the one to retaliate against the camp, so the Grounders don't."

Raven reached back into her bag and pulled out a radio. She pulled off the string that had been holding down the speak button then held the button with her finger and asked, "Did you copy that, Clarke?"

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"I did. I'll go talk with my mom and we'll be watching for you," Clarke replied.

I held out a hand for the radio which Raven passed me after a moment, and I asked into it, "Let me ask you something... You found the power plant, didn't you?"

"Yes, it was in Russia like you thought."

"How long?"

"If we are lucky, we might have six months," Clarke's voice came out a minute later.

"Thanks," I sighed, handing back the radio.

Six months was in the range of Katye's calendar for Praimfaya which meant two things. The world itself was falling in line with the plot, but more importantly, they truly believed me now. First major milestone of Katye's and my plan had been achieved which would be worthy of a sigh of relief if it was not for the Death Wave and Praimfaya that we would be facing.

I healed Raven for as long as I could keep my mind focused which, with the alcohol, made me pass out without saying goodbye to her. In the morning, I indulged myself and used my healing spell to eliminate my hangover before I went back to practicing my Earth spells. That evening, Clarke, Bellamy and Raven came and saw me. They had brought another bottle of moonshine with rations to eat, and we all had dinner together before I healed Raven. No one asked anything else about the future and rather, they spent the time telling jokes and funny stories. They were just trying to be my friends and family and help ease the burden that I had taken on.

This time, I did not push myself too far because Raven limp had already significantly reduced, and I could stand at least when I was done. I walked them to the edge of the stone walls then watched them walk away until the forest swallowed the light of their flashlights. Just as I was about to head back to my usual spot, Lincoln approached me.

"I'm sorry," Lincoln said.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about it. I've kept a lot of secrets from you, and I can't tell you everything even if I wanted to," I replied softly.

"But you are doing this for me, and I doubted you."

"It's not just for you, Lincoln, but my people, humanity, and even myself... I can't survive what's coming, and even if I could, I wouldn't be able to live with myself unless I do a better job with this second chance," I said truthfully.

If I could not make this turn out better with the advantages of my powers and knowledge of the story, then why should I continue through Tori's 'Guide to Becoming a God', or whatever the hell this was? I was setup to win from the beginning, so I had to do better than the original story. The only thing that stood in my way was myself. If any of them could understand the complete truth like I did, I knew that they would make the same decisions that I was.

He stepped forward and kissed me passionately as he wrapped his arms around me. I kissed him back as I slid my arms around his waist. At this point, I could not break his heart and just be cold to him. He believed in me, and I needed that right now. Someone who would stand by my side as I faced everything that this world could throw at me.

The third morning, as promised, Kane was brought back to Camp Jaha with an unmentioned addition, Jaha himself. Katye insisted on recreating the trial that Lexa had done to see if they truly wanted peace, so I needed to keep my mouth shut in case she killed him early to prevent Alie from happening. There was already a plan to kill him in the desert on his way to the City of Light if he still left the camp, but we were willing to give him a chance to accept the path that we were creating.

Accompanying Kane and Jaha was Lexa and a few hundred warriors from the Twelve Clans army. Unlike the original story, there was no need to must her full force since Skaikru's only crime so far was from defending themselves from Trikru's warriors. With Indra literally by my side and my bold promise to defeat the Mountain in less than a month, there was no call for blood... so far. We both knew that the Ice Nation had been building up to take over the Coalition long before the hundred landed on Earth, so unless I could truly frighten the Ice Nation delegate, we were likely heading into a war that we knew nothing about, and we still had our deadline for Praimfaya to focus on.

The small, walled in campground that I had made became an oversized tent once Lexa's warriors started setting up their camp, surrounding it. This allowed me to start making my own tunnel to the nearest Reaper cave which was about five hundred yards away. Mount Weather was bound to be watching all of these unusual movements of the Grounders, so we had to be sure that they did not learn of our plan until the radiation was leaking into their bunker.

I did not even talk with Lexa that day and just kept working on the tunnel. I compacted the dirt into stone with my power, but even then, I had to create stone bricks out of the excess dirt to prevent it from piling up inside the tent. The night fell before I knew it, but Lexa and Lincoln came and checked in on me when the tunnel was nearly done.

"Come on. You should come eat and I've also had Nyko prepare a tea that helps with headaches," Lexa said.

"Unless it replenishes my mana, I don't think it will help," I replied, rubbing my temples.

"It's also a sleep-aid, so that will help you in another way."

I followed them back out of the tunnel then out of the tent. We joined Nyko, Gustus, and Indra around a campfire and ate dinner while they gave their reports. I did not pay too much attention to that part because nothing seemed unusual, but I did have to participate in the end of the conversation.

"There have been no signs of Mount Weather activity, but I believe that once Kane disappears from their sight and Clarke starts coming here more often, we'll draw in Emerson and capture him. Do you want the honor of bringing his death?" Lexa asked.

"Unless I'm slow enough to allow him to get the bone marrow treatment, it's not worth using my people to keep him alive. Even if I told them all of his crimes, I am not confident that they will make the right decision. I will leave it to Heda's choice; I only ask that you make it as painful as possible before the radiation claims him," I replied.

"I will indeed," she promised.

Emerson had been the cause of the destruction of Mount Weather and the death of Sinclair before Clarke finally killed him, so both of us wanted to make sure he was dead. The only person that either of us might want dead more was Russel, but that was only because of the combined evilness of Sheidheda after his body was taken over.

After we finished, I went back to where I was building the tunnel with Lincoln. By the time that Kane was due to arrive in the morning, I should be able to finish the tunnel, so Lincoln and I went to sleep. I wanted one last night of peace before I launched my attack and killed nearly four hundred people.

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