“As you know, not only the noble faction but also the pro-emperor faction supported Lady Monique as the next empress unanimously at the recent political meeting. How can we compare her with a mere candidate for the emperor’s concubine?”
“Yes, that’s right. I think Lady Monique should stand by the emperor as the next empress,” said Earl Burt, nodding gently, “Besides, many foreign dignitaries will attend the festival this time. As the official record on the breakoff of the emperor and Lady Monique’s engagement is not published, we should not forget that she is officially the emperor’s fiancee.”
What the heck?
My eyes were open wide at that. Didn’t they yet process my request for the breakoff yet?
I turned my head and looked up at the head table where the emperor was seated. When my eyes met his, he flinched and avoided my eyes.
I made a hollow smile.
Oh my God! What the heck is this? Of course, it was my mistake that I was complacent because I thought that it was a done deal when I requested the breakoff and the emperor agreed with that, but I should have paid more attention to it. I should have made sure the emperor’s agreement with the breakoff should be documented.
I was very angry. To be honest, it was true that I was swayed by his confession. That’s why I vowed again and again that I would not be entangled with him romantically, though it broke my heart. I thought many times how fortunate it was that I broke off my engagement with him. But it turned out that I was still officially engaged to the emperor.
This meant that the moment he decided to exercise his right as my fiancé at any time, I would have no other choice to follow his actions and wishes. His promise that he would honor my opinion was now tantamount to a white lie.
How could he hide such an important issue from me for several months? Of course, it was my mistake that I did not double check it. Nonetheless, this was an evident deception on his end.
But I bit my lips when I was suddenly surprised to find that I still had some lingering affection for him in one corner of my heart.
‘Nonsense! Am I happy for that?”
I felt goosebumps at the moment. Even though I felt so frustrated and upset with the fact that I gave up escaping from him, which I had been longing for so much, I felt somehow gratified to know that I was being loved by him so much until now.
What a contradictory feeling! What a creepy idea! How ridiculous it is!
“… Lady Monique?”
“… Pardon?”
“Earl Hamel is calling you. He suggests that you share the role of the empress with other candidates for the emperor’s concubine because this is a very big event that the imperial family is hosting in cooperation with the temple. What do you think?”
I barely shook off my idle thought when he said that. Although I was reeling from the shocking fact, I needed to beat the noble faction who was bent on undermining me by all means.
“I listened to your opinion, Earl Hamel. Thank you for your consideration, but I’ll just accept your hearts.”
“But Lady Monique, although I don’t doubt your ability, this festival is different from any…”
Trying to pull myself together, I listened to Earl Hamel. I also tried to be attentive to others’ opinions because I felt I would be consumed by some other contradictory feelings that kept coming to tear me up.
How much time passed?
Their never-ending argument over several agendas ranging from the issue of the festival to the knights to be dispatched to the border area ended only when the emperor declared that they would adjourn.
When I was about to stand up after sorting out my complicated thoughts, suddenly someone blocked my vision and said sharply, “Hey you!”
“… ”
When I slowly raised her head, I saw Jiun hardening her face and staring at me.
There was no bright smile in her eyes, which were full of hostility.
“… What’s the matter?”
“Don’t look like that. How annoying!”
“…”
“You think you have beaten me, right? Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t think I lost to you. ”
“… ”
“It’s not over yet. Now is the start. You watch! In the end, he who laughs best who laughs last.”
After blurting things out coldly, she turned angrily. When I was watching her disappear, fluttering the hem of her colorful dress, a servant approached me cautiously and said, bowing deeply, “Lady Monique, the emperor wants to see you for a moment.”
“… Okay. Where is he now?”
“He said he wanted to see you at the garden of the Ver Palace.”
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“Got it. Let me head there, so you can go back.”
“Yes, Lady Monique.”
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When I got out of the Central Palace, escorted by the servant, I noticed the sky was so clear today. I sighed suddenly when I saw it because I just felt so frustrated.
When I was plodding along with a heavy heart, pounding on my chest as if something got stuck in my stomach, I suddenly noticed the emperor standing in front of me. I slowly approached him and bowed politely.
“I, Aristia la Monique, am honored to see you, the Sun of the Empire! Why did you call me, Your Majesty?”
“… Well, I would like to talk with you for a moment. ”
“Sure, please go ahead.”
“…”
When I replied shortly, I heard him letting out a sigh, but I looked down, pretending not to have noticed it. Although I knew I was rude, I didn’t feel like talking to him now.
“… Given the atmosphere of the meeting today, it seems like you have had lots of conflicts with Lady Jena about the festival agenda. Thanks a lot for your hard work.”
“You’re welcome, Your Majesty.”
“Don’t work too hard. I know you’ve got a lot on your mind because you have to host the festival in cooperation with the temple.”
“That’s fine.”
“Well, the festival is around the corner. So, I hope you can hang in there a little longer. Sorry this is all I can say now.”
“I’m alright. Please don’t worry.”
“…”
After looking down at me, who was walking silently, with my lips tightly closed, he turned his step quietly. I followed him silently.
How much time passed? In awkward silence I walked silently, hearing the sound of him stepping on pebbles along the path. He suddenly stopped and said, looking back at me, “I think it’s the first time I have seen you so cold. Oh, it’s the second time as I saw it when you asked me to break your engagement with me.”
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“…”
“I’m sorry. But I was not trying to deceive you. ”
“…”
“Aristia.”
When I slowly raised my head, I saw him looking at me with a desperate expression.
At that moment, I was choked up with surging anger. You weren’t trying to deceive me?
Then, why did you hide it from me for several months?
Watching me quietly, who was biting my lips because I didn’t have the heart to speak out, he said with a deep sigh, “…I was going to let you go. I tried to give up my longing for you several times a day because I knew you would be hurt more if I forced you to be with me, but I …”
“…”
“When I was about to order them to officially record the breakoff of my engagement with you, I really couldn’t. I was afraid my relationship with you would be completely cut off …So, I couldn’t issue an order. I thought I would do it tomorrow, the day after tomorrow…I kept delaying it day by day, and I ended up coming to this point.”
“…Your Majesty.”
Only
When I saw his pleading look and desperate voice, my hard feelings began to melt away.
I took a step back and took a big breath, thinking to myself, ‘No, I shouldn’t do this. Remember your resolution under the blue moonlight, remember your tearful decision! Did I forget I wanted to be honest with my feelings and be happy for only one day? I know there was nothing like a happy future for him and me, right?’
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty. I am…”
“…”
“As you know, Your Majesty, I’m a woman who does not deserve to stand by you.”
“I don’t think so. Please don’t say that.”
“Please face the reality and give up your lingering affection for me. I don’t want to see the dignity of the imperial family crumble because of me.”
“Aristia!”
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